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Critical Failures

2456737

Posts

  • UrielUriel Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Dex Dynamo wrote: »
    I play D&D.

    You attack the dragon for 40 HP.

    It dies.

    You journey home to a hero's welcome.

    The end.

  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    that's one helluva hit and one pussy dragon

    STEAM
    Skayel wrote:
    One time, I had a friend over to play a bit of Red Alert on my LAN. During the game he said he needed to go to the bathroom, so we paused it. After about 10 minutes of wondering where the hell he went, I get up and go to check on him.

    Turns out he was trying to screw my dog.
    Once I was taking a poop at a restaurant and a kid crept underneath the door into my stall. I let out a big fart and then he threw up all over the floor in front of me and I just stared at him.
  • UrielUriel Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    I wanna play an RPG but man.

    I gotta put a story together.

    Fucking... I'm not very good at that.

  • StraightziStraightzi Dangerous, this Jack of Hearts With his kiss, the riot startsRegistered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Wait Uriel do you mean you want to run one or what here?

  • UrielUriel Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    I dunno.

    I kinda prefer to play one offline.

    I just suk at putting a story together.. Well not really, I can do that if I apply myself but I gotta get some more people interested.

  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Uriel wrote: »
    Fucking... I'm not very good at that.

    Most virgins aren't.

    Anyhow, the big rumor is that there will be two new Warhammer (40k) races. Instead of waiting to see what developes, I will instead start unrepentant speculation!

    I believe that the newest 40k race will be:
    Adeptus Mechanicus.

    It makes perfect sense. They could use pre-existing Imperial models and therefore would only have to come up with a portion of a new race. Further more, there could be spill-back of AM minis in pre-existing armies (meaning, I could use some of the new minis in my old army). Most of the mythology is already there and considering the amount of fluff GW has added to the AM since 4th, it seems odd to me that they wouldn't follow up with a new army.

    This is my theory. It probably won't end up being true, but at least it makes sense.

    Makes more sense than fucking Space Rat Men.

  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    is it too much to ask for Squats?

    STEAM
    Skayel wrote:
    One time, I had a friend over to play a bit of Red Alert on my LAN. During the game he said he needed to go to the bathroom, so we paused it. After about 10 minutes of wondering where the hell he went, I get up and go to check on him.

    Turns out he was trying to screw my dog.
    Once I was taking a poop at a restaurant and a kid crept underneath the door into my stall. I let out a big fart and then he threw up all over the floor in front of me and I just stared at him.
  • StraightziStraightzi Dangerous, this Jack of Hearts With his kiss, the riot startsRegistered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Uriel wrote: »
    I dunno.

    I kinda prefer to play one offline.

    I just suk at putting a story together.. Well not really, I can do that if I apply myself but I gotta get some more people interested.

    Why is it that you can't just play and have someone else run it?

  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    guys

    we totally need a forum FATAL game

    STEAM
    Skayel wrote:
    One time, I had a friend over to play a bit of Red Alert on my LAN. During the game he said he needed to go to the bathroom, so we paused it. After about 10 minutes of wondering where the hell he went, I get up and go to check on him.

    Turns out he was trying to screw my dog.
    Once I was taking a poop at a restaurant and a kid crept underneath the door into my stall. I let out a big fart and then he threw up all over the floor in front of me and I just stared at him.
  • UrielUriel Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Quetzi wrote: »
    Uriel wrote: »
    I dunno.

    I kinda prefer to play one offline.

    I just suk at putting a story together.. Well not really, I can do that if I apply myself but I gotta get some more people interested.

    Why is it that you can't just play and have someone else run it?

    I'm the only person I know with enough experience to run something, and I don't wanna get into a game with strangers, those aren't as fun.

  • Bendery It Like BeckhamBendery It Like Beckham Hopeless Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    guys

    we totally need a forum FATAL game

    isn't this that horrible game where 'cunt shaft' size is an actual attribute?

    headphones2.jpg
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Bendery wrote: »
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    guys

    we totally need a forum FATAL game

    isn't this that horrible game where 'cunt shaft' size is an actual attribute?

    vaginal depth

    STEAM
    Skayel wrote:
    One time, I had a friend over to play a bit of Red Alert on my LAN. During the game he said he needed to go to the bathroom, so we paused it. After about 10 minutes of wondering where the hell he went, I get up and go to check on him.

    Turns out he was trying to screw my dog.
    Once I was taking a poop at a restaurant and a kid crept underneath the door into my stall. I let out a big fart and then he threw up all over the floor in front of me and I just stared at him.
  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    what

  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Dumb Hero wrote: »
    what

    :3

    STEAM
    Skayel wrote:
    One time, I had a friend over to play a bit of Red Alert on my LAN. During the game he said he needed to go to the bathroom, so we paused it. After about 10 minutes of wondering where the hell he went, I get up and go to check on him.

    Turns out he was trying to screw my dog.
    Once I was taking a poop at a restaurant and a kid crept underneath the door into my stall. I let out a big fart and then he threw up all over the floor in front of me and I just stared at him.
  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    The system, like other aspects of the game, was criticized for focusing on the most lurid aspects of violence, sexuality, and scatology, and of actualizing racism, sexist, homophobic, and other bigoted viewpoints. For example, characters have statistics for breast size, penis size, and anal and vaginal circumference, to determine how much damage is taken when characters are raped. In addition, weak men and unattractive women are more likely to be homosexual, and characters with very low intelligence have a chance of gaining a "retard strength" bonus. Certain magical items would cause characters to look and act like various racial stereotypes. Random rolls on tables for combat damage might result in characters receiving unlikely wounds such as a severed clitoris, while magical accidents might result in curses such as having fruit grow from one's genitals. Characters can also increase their skill in Urination, allowing them to urinate farther and more precisely.


    WHAT

  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    basically it is the best game ever

    STEAM
    Skayel wrote:
    One time, I had a friend over to play a bit of Red Alert on my LAN. During the game he said he needed to go to the bathroom, so we paused it. After about 10 minutes of wondering where the hell he went, I get up and go to check on him.

    Turns out he was trying to screw my dog.
    Once I was taking a poop at a restaurant and a kid crept underneath the door into my stall. I let out a big fart and then he threw up all over the floor in front of me and I just stared at him.
  • StraightziStraightzi Dangerous, this Jack of Hearts With his kiss, the riot startsRegistered User regular
    edited June 2007
    I like the urination bit

  • BYToadyBYToady Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Sounds like SE++ the RPG.

    Battletag BYToady#1454
  • Zombies Tossed My Salad!Zombies Tossed My Salad! Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    That sounds awesome

  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    I am left agog.

    Fucking agog.

  • StraightziStraightzi Dangerous, this Jack of Hearts With his kiss, the riot startsRegistered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Magog?

  • Zombies Tossed My Salad!Zombies Tossed My Salad! Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Quetzi wrote: »
    Magog?
    Kevin Sorbo lolol

  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    no just the regular kind

  • StraightziStraightzi Dangerous, this Jack of Hearts With his kiss, the riot startsRegistered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Oh okay.

    Also goddamn I am reading more of FATAL what the fuuuuuuck?

  • GABBO GABBO GABBOGABBO GABBO GABBO Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    is it too much to ask for Squats?

    Not going to happen.
    Adeptus Mechanicus sounds plausable, simply because they're getting Battlefleet Gothic ships, but I'd still prefer something completely new.

  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited June 2007
    space werewolves

    not like spacewolves

    straight up werewolves

    it'll sell t-shirts

  • Dex DynamoDex Dynamo Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    I will write a FATAL game for the forum to run if people really want to play it.

  • Dex DynamoDex Dynamo Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Apparently the site is dead and so I can't actually. I apologize for building up hopes.

  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    space werewolves

    not like spacewolves

    straight up werewolves

    it'll sell t-shirts
    What about Space Pimps? Now that would sell periphery merchandise.

    In the grim darkness of the far future, I gotsta get paid, son.

  • Anime OwnsAnime Owns Registered User
    edited June 2007
    space werewolves already exist (wolfen from the 13th company)

  • Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    I want something to fill in the gap the Dark Eldar left.

    Something with pirates and slavers, but not as, you know, angry-at-my-step-dad all of the time.

    Actually, if they re-booted the DE and actually tried to make them work this time, I would be all for it.

    But that isn't happening.

  • trentsteeltrentsteel Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Wait, Manifest is selling Orks? I'm buying Orks right now.


    Pm plz

    http://www.botsnthings.com/
    I made a TD for iphone and windows phone!

  • trentsteeltrentsteel Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Manifest I will take the boars and some Black Orks off you if you don't sell that.

    Also mounted warboss

    http://www.botsnthings.com/
    I made a TD for iphone and windows phone!

  • FalloutFallout GIRL'S DAY EVERY DAYRegistered User regular
    edited June 2007
    I believe that the newest 40k race will be:
    Adeptus Mechanicus.

    It makes perfect sense. They could use pre-existing Imperial models and therefore would only have to come up with a portion of a new race. Further more, there could be spill-back of AM minis in pre-existing armies (meaning, I could use some of the new minis in my old army). Most of the mythology is already there and considering the amount of fluff GW has added to the AM since 4th, it seems odd to me that they wouldn't follow up with a new army.

    This is my theory. It probably won't end up being true, but at least it makes sense.

    Makes more sense than fucking Space Rat Men.

    I would play the fuck out of them.
    Dumb Hero wrote: »
    The system, like other aspects of the game, was criticized for focusing on the most lurid aspects of violence, sexuality, and scatology, and of actualizing racism, sexist, homophobic, and other bigoted viewpoints. For example, characters have statistics for breast size, penis size, and anal and vaginal circumference, to determine how much damage is taken when characters are raped. In addition, weak men and unattractive women are more likely to be homosexual, and characters with very low intelligence have a chance of gaining a "retard strength" bonus. Certain magical items would cause characters to look and act like various racial stereotypes. Random rolls on tables for combat damage might result in characters receiving unlikely wounds such as a severed clitoris, while magical accidents might result in curses such as having fruit grow from one's genitals. Characters can also increase their skill in Urination, allowing them to urinate farther and more precisely.


    WHAT

    I would play the fuck out of that.

    xcomsig.png
  • StraightziStraightzi Dangerous, this Jack of Hearts With his kiss, the riot startsRegistered User regular
    edited June 2007
    trentsteel wrote: »
    Wait, Manifest is selling Orks? I'm buying Orks right now.


    Pm plz

    I have a bunch of orc shit too, if you want to buy it, I don't think I'll ever use it.

  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Well, I mean, the retard strength thing is kind of funny.

    But seriously.

    "Okay, you take 2d4 damage from the ogre's dick impaling your 2inch anus"

    :|

  • trentsteeltrentsteel Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Quetzi wrote: »
    trentsteel wrote: »
    Wait, Manifest is selling Orks? I'm buying Orks right now.


    Pm plz

    I have a bunch of orc shit too, if you want to buy it, I don't think I'll ever use it.

    What you have, Quetzi?

    I need more of this:

    huntasgroup2.jpg

    http://www.botsnthings.com/
    I made a TD for iphone and windows phone!

  • trentsteeltrentsteel Registered User regular
    edited June 2007
    Okay the Adeptus Mechanics just sounds like more Space Marines except with more Techmarines to me. I dunno.

    I want a knew race dammit.

    http://www.botsnthings.com/
    I made a TD for iphone and windows phone!

  • StraightziStraightzi Dangerous, this Jack of Hearts With his kiss, the riot startsRegistered User regular
    edited June 2007
    trentsteel wrote: »
    Quetzi wrote: »
    trentsteel wrote: »
    Wait, Manifest is selling Orks? I'm buying Orks right now.


    Pm plz

    I have a bunch of orc shit too, if you want to buy it, I don't think I'll ever use it.

    What you have, Quetzi?

    I need more of this:

    huntasgroup2.jpg

    I have Orcs, not Orks, so nevermind. That's what Mani has too though, last I checked.

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