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Occupy Hell: How come 1% of the forumers get 99% of the gifts?! [Secret Satans]



  • TonkkaTonkka Some one in the club tonight Has stolen my ideas. regular
    If I can get my drunk ass out of bed I am shipping my gift out tomorrow.

    Steam: evilumpire Battle.net: T0NKKA#1588 Twitter Art blog/Portfolio! HEY SATAN
  • Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill you regular
    The mail says my first package has been delivered

    And also that my second one has cleared customs and is being "sent outward from blah de blah blah"


    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe.
    My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs."
  • WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want? regular
    Gonna check the mail so hard today.

    Steam: weavermatic xbox: weavermatico
  • Guys! My mail came with a box today!

    There is no letter though, which means my Satan wants things to remain a mystery. Or I've been buying things while drunk again!


  • Unfortunately I can't play with it cause I had to leave straight away but it's a pretty sweet present!

  • VivixenneVivixenne Remember your training, and we'll get through this just fine. regular
    The ONE day I go out all day and of course I miss the delivery of Blake's present. Sigh.

  • @Kusuguttai I hit a snag and will be mailing that package I was talking about tomorrow now.

    The snag?

    Let's just say that while shopping, I found things. And instead of getting a guaranteed 3 more presents from me before Christmas with the package, you'll now be getting 6. 8-)

    ahhhh you are too nice ahhh

  • godmodegodmode Nooo-ooo-ooo... That ain't dancin', Sally regular
    Part 1 of Satanee's gift has arrived at the local FedEx! Eeeeeee so excited to check it out!

  • Vivixenne wrote:
    The ONE day I go out all day and of course I miss the delivery of Blake's present. Sigh.

    Moral of the story is don't let women out of the house?

  • oh hey I havent bought my gift yet fuck you skyrim

    gotta do that today so I can get it there before christmas

  • Oh man, and a satanic email!
    ATTN: Dear SataneeInbox
    2 hours ago
    Show details
    Satan Loves Coffee
    to me

    It has come to our attention in Hell's postal sorting rooms that you are the recent recipient of one practically useless coffee grinding tool.  It is just Hell's little way of joking with you about the things you don't have.  Things like a coffee maker or even coffee beans.  The big man wanted to gloat a little more (rubbing salt in wounds is a specialty) but these days in America even Satan is too broke to afford that sort of luxury.  Instead he'd like you to peruse these pages from another item on your wishlist which you will not be receiving this year, the classic On Food and Cooking by Harold McGee.

    Package Mailing and Distribution Department
    Satan, Inc.

    Note: One may be tempted to mention that the devil could create a better powerpoint presentation if he so desired.  To which the devil would be tempted to respond that shittily crafted powerpoints are in fact another one of his specialties.

  • Going to have to sacrifice a chicken or something in celebration!

  • Sacrifice it with some mashed potatoes and garlic bread.

    Mmm Satanic sacrifice.

  • ButtersButters A glass of some milks regular
    My gift arrived a few days ago and I was finally home to open it last night! I will post pictures tonight.

    PSN: idontworkhere582 | CFN: idontworkhere | Steam: lordbutters
  • ToxTox I kill threads Punch Dimension regular
    I'm off to run some errands, among which includes putting a package in the mail!

    Wishlists! General | Gaming | Comics | Dilige, et quod vis fac
  • Yeah my neighbor just got more of what appears to be dialysis supplies.

    :( I hope that they will be okay.

  • Blake T wrote:
    Or I've been buying things while drunk again!

    I have a friend with a terrible memory, who consistently orders himself things while drunk or been up all night, forgets about them entirely and gets all excited when he gets the packages.

    It's a great system.

  • Package should be going out Wednesday as planned because yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay USPS had not been a dick, the postman had simply left no slip. The office had it all along!

  • Since the locals at UPS took Friday off, my Satanee's package should be going out tomorrow.

    Waiting on 3 more pieces to put in their box. Wrapping up everything else now though.

    It will be beautiful and shiny and have bows and ribbons everywhere.

  • I just ordered my Satanee's gifts. They'll be coming from Amazon, estimated between Dec. 5th and 10th. I wish I could've shipped them to me and personalized them a bit first but money's too tight

    It's also not as grand as other gifters have been, but there could (hopefully) be more later.

  • They're for me, aren't they Keith

    You bought me a TV didn't you Keith

    And a PS3 didn't you Keith

    And a giant My Little Pony statue to jack off onto

    Didn't you Keith

  • How big does a my little pony statue have to be to be considered giant?

  • EndEnd regular
    Kadith wrote: »
    How big does a my little pony statue have to be to be considered giant?

    20 hands

    been on this road and come this far
  • End wrote:
    Kadith wrote: »
    How big does a my little pony statue have to be to be considered giant?

    20 hands

    So, bigger than a real life Clydesdale?

    And does it have to have a marshmallow butthole?

  • MorivethMoriveth Nobody suspects a thing... regular
    Keith you didn't have to make me a photo album of yourself

    But I appreciate it

    3ds friend code: 2036 9837 9754
  • Kadith wrote:
    How big does a my little pony statue have to be to be considered giant?

  • EndEnd regular
    End wrote:
    Kadith wrote: »
    How big does a my little pony statue have to be to be considered giant?

    20 hands

    So, bigger than a real life Clydesdale?

    as big as the record tallest horse or get out

    been on this road and come this far
  • Don't you just want to... stroke it?

  • zucchinizucchini pretty much amazing regular
    edited November 2011
    Santa clearly recognizes my jewish blood, sending me gifts for eight days straight. Today, my dreidel landed on gimel, and my reward was Conan on blu ray ans well as the Complete Chronicles of Conan bound in the skin of a Stygian witch! Awesome! I've been meaning to start reading the Conan stuff because low fantasy is pretty awesome, and now I have not only the means, but an excuse to do so!


    Thanks again Legba!

    zucchini on
  • MorivethMoriveth Nobody suspects a thing... regular
    That Conan book is way awesome.

    3ds friend code: 2036 9837 9754
  • MatevMatev Cero Miedo regular
    The Howard stories are so good. so good I'd be jealous I didn't have them all already.

    "Go down, kick ass, and set yourselves up as gods, that's our Prime Directive!"
    Hail Hydra
  • LegbaLegba regular
    edited November 2011
    Oh man, they showed up together? Good stuff!

    I had to get you something Conan-ish, because I ripped off the short story in your card from the opening to one of the short stories in that collection. And while I was buying the book, I saw the movie, and, well, the rest is history.

    I feel slightly bad for getting you the new movie and not the Arnold classic, but!

    Legba on
  • TenTen regular
    What's this, another email about an awaiting delivery?

    Oh hey, it's a nicely Amazon wrapped gift!

    With a gift card providing hints:

    And the wonderful gift of Settlers of Catan! I've been wanting this game for a long time, so thankyou @George Fornby Grill! It will fit my cat perfectly:

    and I will be sure to destroy all those who oppose my settlements.

    (Also if you were trying to keep your identity secret, blame Amazon who put your name on the invoice note) :)

  • I love that fat cat

  • edited November 2011
    Man that, game is so great. I think I've played over 100 times and only won once.

    Going to have to start spoilering the list now!
    Antimatter -> Wombat!!/2/3

    Caulk Bite 6 -> Centipede Damascus/2

    Feebsicle -> Veretas

    George Fornby Grill -> Ten

    Legba -> zucchini/2/3

    Marth -> Okami/2/3

    MoosehatIV -> ceres/2

    Moriveth -> Rolo

    Naphtali -> . (plut)

    QuickSnap -> Goose!

    ShimSham -> Stale/2 -> Romanian My Escutcheon

    Sweeney Tom -> Kusuguttai/2/3/4

    The Lovely Bastard -> Tox/2/3

    thorgot -> Slacker71/2 -> Nogs

    Vivixenne -> That Dave Fella

    ??? -> Blake T/1.5

    ??? -> Zay -> Hunter/2/3

    ??? -> #pipe -> Platypus Beirut

    ??? -> lostwords

    ??? -> neville

    ??? (riddlehero) -> Smart Hero/2

    ??? -> The Geebs That Is A Pony

    ??? -> VisionOfClarity

    ??? -> Zonugal

    ThreeCubed on
  • Still working on getting my gift out the door.
    I wanted to get my Santanee's gift out faster but it will be the weekend till it goes out... probity going to be sent out semi rush.
    I keep waiting for inspiration to hit on a super awesome gift... ah well ... I shall pad my gift with Canadian delicacies.
    ha za~

  • If it's me, put some custard powder in there so I can make Nanaimo bars.

  • God I love Nanaimo bars.

This discussion has been closed.