do you guys have any experience with international marriages? I currently live in Japan and have been dating a Chinese girl for about a year and am contemplating our future. Language/Cultural barriers are always more than a little frustrating...
tywrenok on
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CrayonSleeps in the wrong bed.TejasRegistered Userregular
edited June 2007
I've been in a relationship for quite a bit of time, and knowing the girl for 2 1/2 years has helped. We've grown to know each other through just friendship in a way that just wouldn't have been able to had we just gone out from the beginning, so for that I am thankful. About four days ago she, yes she, asked me to marry her and I said yes. I'm hoping I can use this advice and expand upon it to hopefully, you know, make it work as well as it can.
I'm really looking forward to it, and we're taking it really really slow. We set up the date as July 13th 2008, which combines both her favorite month and my favorite number, which I suppose is a bit odd, but meh.
do you guys have any experience with international marriages? I currently live in Japan and have been dating a Chinese girl for about a year and am contemplating our future. Language/Cultural barriers are always more than a little frustrating...
My mom is from the Philippines and my dad's American, and it's never been an issue. Of course my dad lived in the Philippines for nine years and integrated pretty well, and my mom speaks perfect English. They've been stateside for about 15 years now and they raised my brother and I with a mixture of Filipino and American culture. It's turned out really well and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Coincidentally I just read this essay tonight before I saw this thread.
I'd highly suggest it as a point of interest, though it may be against your tastes.
Keep in mind that it was written about 100 years ago now, so a lot of it's out of date. It was part of a debate, and I can't find the other side of said debate, but if someone is able to find it I'd like to read that as well.
So you're saying that if I got married to my girlfriend and she declared bankruptcy due to old medical bills, my assets and income would not be factored in at all?
Funny, that's not what my accountant says.
Edit: I don't mean to come across as snarky. It's just that saying "you don't, really" pretty much goes against everything I've ever heard.
I guess your misogynist accountant is trying to make sure you get the "full" story, but my "not really, no" is still accurate. You are not liable for her previous debts. You claimed that assets, debt and tax liability all get combined. That is a massive overstatement. It's a myth that I hear a lot that has almost no substance whatsoever. Her creditors cannot come after you. In the assessment of her financial situation in a bankruptcy hearing, they can look at her husband's money, yeah. But that still doesn't make you liable.
However, depending on various laws, once you are married, debt and assets and such incurred afterwards is generally, by default, assumed to be both of yours. But if this bothers you, there are lots of legal mechanisms to keep many things separate.
Yar on
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KalTorakOne way or another, they all end up inthe Undercity.Registered Userregular
So you're saying that if I got married to my girlfriend and she declared bankruptcy due to old medical bills, my assets and income would not be factored in at all?
Funny, that's not what my accountant says.
Edit: I don't mean to come across as snarky. It's just that saying "you don't, really" pretty much goes against everything I've ever heard.
I guess your misogynist accountant is trying to make sure you get the "full" story, but my "not really, no" is still accurate.
I would say so :? trying to protect one's client may lead one to be a little overenthusiastic, but I doubt he'd say anything different if the situations were reversed. You disagree, Yar?
The "misogynist" thing was sort of toungue-in-cheek, but it was an educated guess based on the circumstances. I mean, it's kind of a stretch to be warning someone about "if she's in bankruptcy court they can look at your financial situation when ruling on hers."
It still doesn't make Feral liable, it just means she could get a less favorable ruling married to a rich man than she would poor and on her own, which is sort of common sense, right? The fact that he would even bring it up as a reason to be wary of marriage led me to believe that he has a thing against getting married or against women or something. Otherwise it just doesn't make a lot of sense.
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I'm really looking forward to it, and we're taking it really really slow. We set up the date as July 13th 2008, which combines both her favorite month and my favorite number, which I suppose is a bit odd, but meh.
My mom is from the Philippines and my dad's American, and it's never been an issue. Of course my dad lived in the Philippines for nine years and integrated pretty well, and my mom speaks perfect English. They've been stateside for about 15 years now and they raised my brother and I with a mixture of Filipino and American culture. It's turned out really well and I wouldn't have it any other way.
I'd highly suggest it as a point of interest, though it may be against your tastes.
Keep in mind that it was written about 100 years ago now, so a lot of it's out of date. It was part of a debate, and I can't find the other side of said debate, but if someone is able to find it I'd like to read that as well.
However, depending on various laws, once you are married, debt and assets and such incurred afterwards is generally, by default, assumed to be both of yours. But if this bothers you, there are lots of legal mechanisms to keep many things separate.
Erm, that seems a bit of a strong jump.
But that's good to know, Yar.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
It still doesn't make Feral liable, it just means she could get a less favorable ruling married to a rich man than she would poor and on her own, which is sort of common sense, right? The fact that he would even bring it up as a reason to be wary of marriage led me to believe that he has a thing against getting married or against women or something. Otherwise it just doesn't make a lot of sense.