Our new Indie Games subforum is now open for business in G&T. Go and check it out, you might land a code for a free game. If you're developing an indie game and want to post about it, follow these directions. If you don't, he'll break your legs! Hahaha! Seriously though.
Our rules have been updated and given their own forum. Go and look at them! They are nice, and there may be new ones that you didn't know about! Hooray for rules! Hooray for The System! Hooray for Conforming!

Occupy Hell: How come 1% of the forumers get 99% of the gifts?! [Secret Satans]



  • DidgeridooDidgeridoo Registered User regular
    dougyfresh wrote:
    Just wanted to put a quick post up to let my satan know my gift arrived! I will post the grand unboxing photos once I have a little spare time, even though they are crappy cell phone pics! Thank you so much Digeridoo, the gifts were fantastic and you have impeccable taste in movies and tv and awesome man eating plant-life!

    Whoop, sorry for the late reply, was out of town! Glad you liked the gifts, Dougy, and glad it all arrived in one piece. :D

    Switch Friend Code: SW-0999-1072-9696
  • KeithKeith Registered User regular
    ugh I'm in a chain with Didgeridoo

  • The Lovely BastardThe Lovely Bastard Registered User regular
    you should probably just end it now

  • Blake TBlake T Registered User regular
    Most people would enjoy being in chains with didge Keith.

  • DidgeridooDidgeridoo Registered User regular

    Switch Friend Code: SW-0999-1072-9696
  • ThreeCubedThreeCubed Registered User
    Blake T wrote: »
    No no no.

    I am supposed to be at the top of the list, for uh, ordering purposes.

    Sorry, 2 Marcus, Sal, Uriel and I have unseated you for now!

  • dougyfreshdougyfresh Registered User regular
    glad you enjoyed the gifts Keith! You should be seeing one other small gift in a couple weeks, I dunno why but for some reason the shipping on it was listed as like Jan 24th.

  • ThreeCubedThreeCubed Registered User
    Keith wrote: »
    My parents called me up to tell me there were two packages from Amazon at their house for me. I knew it had to be from this 'cause I haven't ordered anything, so I zipped right over, grabbed them, and zipped on back

    These boxes are relatively big but not heavy so I'm wondering what's in them. I don't even remember what I've put on my wishlist at this point


    Of course, I go for the longer package first (right, ladies? Right??). I bust it open and had the biggest smile on my face


    I didn't even know this existed, so it wasn't on my wishlist. My Satan did some research (into my billions of posts saying beagles are the best dogs). I'm gonna try to sucker some friends into playing this next time I can. I'm 100% sure I'll just keep giggling at all the beagles on it because that's what I'm doing now.

    After that I go for the shorter (but thicker) box. Pop that sumbitch open and what do we have?


    You don't even know how much I love corn dogs and it has been forever since I've had one. I've already eaten dinner but I'm probably gonna hook this shit up and eat at least one

    Then the note

    Thanks, dougyfresh. I'll totally let you know how the corn dogs turn out. You've brought me the gift of food and adorableness and that's really what Christmas is all about (even Jesus agrees)

    The Best Pet-able Dogs and Best Edible Dogs await me

    You should monopolize all the beagles.

    Make frito pie on a stick.

  • MrDoctorProfessorMrDoctorProfessor Registered User regular
    I just sent my Satanee's box. Then I realized that I forgot to put the candy in it :(
    Sorry Satanee, no delicious candies for you :(

    Hey Satan!
  • 2 Marcus 2 Ravens2 Marcus 2 Ravens Registered User regular
    I just sent my Satanee's box. Then I realized that I forgot to put the candy in it :(
    Sorry Satanee, no delicious candies for you :(

    You can't fool me. It was your plan all along.

  • MetroidZoidMetroidZoid Registered User regular
    edited December 2011
    I just sent my Satanee's box. Then I realized that I forgot to put the candy in it :(
    Sorry Satanee, no delicious candies for you :(

    ... MrDoctor typed, as he could not speak as his mouth was full of candy

    MetroidZoid on
    3DS FC: 4699-5714-8940 Playing Pokemon, add me! Ho, SATAN!
  • ThreeCubedThreeCubed Registered User
    I just sent my Satanee's box. Then I realized that I forgot to put the candy in it :(
    Sorry Satanee, no delicious candies for you :(

    The worst Satan. Just terrible.

  • 2 Marcus 2 Ravens2 Marcus 2 Ravens Registered User regular
    More like Christmas jeer, am I right?

  • ThreeCubedThreeCubed Registered User
    Your Faust is going to have a dismal Christmas.
    A Dismas.


    Your Faust is going to have a piss-poor Christmas
    A Pissmas

  • ThreeCubedThreeCubed Registered User
    edited December 2011
    A Christless


    ThreeCubed on
  • BusterKBusterK Negativity is Boring Cynicism is Cowardice Registered User regular
    An AntiChristmas

    Visit http://www.cruzflores.com for all your Cruz Flores needs. Also listen to the podcast I do with Penguin Incarnate http://wgsgshow.podomatic.com
    Amazon Wishlist: http://www.amazon.com/BusterK/wishlist/3JPEKJGX9G54I/ref=cm_wl_search_bin_1
  • AntimatterAntimatter Registered User regular
    BusterK wrote:
    An AntiChristmas


  • 2 Marcus 2 Ravens2 Marcus 2 Ravens Registered User regular
    A good thing just happened here. We should all be proud.

  • MrDoctorProfessorMrDoctorProfessor Registered User regular
    Im glad I could be a part of this fine internet postins

    Hey Satan!
  • K-Diddy Kitty is curious at these mysterious packages.

    "Gasp! An open box!"

    "With stuff inside!"

    "Well this stuff is nice, so what'd you get?"

    I apparently got some notes.

    Thanks Geebs, the cat and I love it!

    Stuff Shot:

    oh hey! amazon shipped that about a week earlier than I thought they would so I completely missed this (I was gonna look for this post like, tomorrow)

  • KeithKeith Registered User regular
    dougyfresh wrote:
    glad you enjoyed the gifts Keith! You should be seeing one other small gift in a couple weeks, I dunno why but for some reason the shipping on it was listed as like Jan 24th.


    I keep thinking of Beagle-Opoly and smiling my ass off

  • KeithKeith Registered User regular
    come back, ass

    I need you

  • Platypus BeirutPlatypus Beirut Registered User regular
    edited December 2011
    Gotta stop slacking and put something up which shows you all the cool things @#pipe sent me. Oh my, this is gonna be image-heavy.

    I'm glad you enjoyed your gifts, @Gatsby and @lostwords.

    Platypus Beirut on
  • BroloBrolo Broseidon Lord of the BroceanRegistered User regular
    Keith wrote:
    come back, ass

    I need you

    too late

    it's mine now

  • CrackedLensCrackedLens Registered User regular
    I haven't shipped my satanee's stuff yet. I'm still waiting on 1 thing to show from UPS

    If it doesn't get here today I'm gonna say to he'll with it and send out his loot tomorrow

    XBoxLive Gamertag: ZombieKyle Secret Satan Wishlist
  • godmodegodmode Nooo-ooo-ooo... That ain't dancin', SallyRegistered User regular
    edited December 2011
    My SomethingStore gift from @End arrived! (It's actually been in our mailbox for perhaps a few days...)

    TWO items!


    A sports watch and....art glass earrings?

    Sorry, I probably won't wear the earrings :P

    godmode on
  • chrishallett83chrishallett83 Hi! Registered User regular
    Get your nipples pierced.

  • EndEnd Registered User regular

    been on this road and come this far
  • LegbaLegba Registered User regular
    edited December 2011
    I got gifts!

    I got caught up in work today and only barely made it to the post office to pick up my package, but realised too late I'd gone to the wrong post office! So there I was, on my way back to the office and getting into a good wallowing over this, unable to take my mind of it because I'd just finished my most recent book (Children of the Sky, Vernor Vinge, nice but not as good as the previous two in the series) when!

    I despodently checked my email and noticed that I had a bunch of emails from Amazon.com, all titled "A Gift from Your Secret Satan"!

    Kindle booooooooooks!

    But first, a message from our sponsor:
    Satan wrote:
    In the event that you haven't received your gift at the post office tomorrow, I'm sending some of your digital gifts early.

    Lay back and enjoy the pop-corn adventures, a bit of dystopia, some dogma, & some

    Expect some more goodies this Christmas!

    Wait, some of my digital gifts? And more in the post?

    To illustrate how excited I was to get these emails, I just spilled fish soup all over my keyboard. I mean, not intentionally, it just happened because I was so excited.

    Have you ever wondered how one day the media can assert that alcohol is bad for us and the next unashamedly run a story touting the benefits of daily alcohol consumption? Or how a drug that is pulled off the market for causing heart attacks ever got approved in the first place? How can average readers, who aren’t medical doctors or Ph.D.s in biochemistry, tell what they should be paying attention to and what’s, well, just more bullshit?

    This is fantastic. Someone recommended this in the books thread and I was all "yup, got to reads that!" Because while I like to think of myself as a bit of a sceptic, knowing how to be a sceptic sounds like a good idea to make sure I don't just talk out of my own ass all the time. (Some of the time is fine.)
    The Magic of Recluce is a carefully-plotted fantasy novel of character about the growth and education of a young magician. In it, Modesitt confronts real moral issues with gripping force, builds atmosphere slowly and convincingly and gives his central character, Lerris, real intellectual challenges. This is the kind of highly-rationalized fantasy that Poul Anderson and Gordon R. Dickson write when they write fantasy, colorful and detailed.

    With the next Song of Ice and Fire book roughly a decade away, and every other fantasy series I ever cared about on just about the same schedule (why oh why did I start The Way of Kings when it's on book one? At least with Wheel of Time I could read the first seven back to back!), this is great. I've had it recommended to me, and I thought it sounded really really good, so this is probably going to be the first book I crack open!
    Millions of Christians have struggled with how to reconcile God's love and God's judgment: Has God created billions of people over thousands of years only to select a few to go to heaven and everyone else to suffer forever in hell? Is this acceptable to God? How is this "good news"?

    Troubling questions—so troubling that many have lost their faith because of them. Others only whisper the questions to themselves, fearing or being taught that they might lose their faith and their church if they ask them out loud.

    But what if these questions trouble us for good reason? What if the story of heaven and hell we have been taught is not, in fact, what the Bible teaches? What if what Jesus meant by heaven, hell, and salvation are very different from how we have come to understand them?

    What if it is God who wants us to face these questions?

    Okay, I'm an atheist. Have been since age 15, for initially losely defined reasons that have been tinged with more and more certainty over the years. But I also have a very good friend who is a Methodist minister, and he recommended me this book. Uh-oh, you may think. I've certainly been recommended enough religious books, and I rarely have much patience with them. But! He's currently reading a book I recommended him (Identity and Violence, Amartya Sen), and we're friends for a reason. If he tells me I'll like this, I trust him. So all in all this should be a very interesting read.
    Johannes Cabal, a brilliant scientist and notorious snob, is single-mindedly obsessed in heart and soul with raising the dead. Well, perhaps not soul... He hastily sold his years ago in order to learn the laws of necromancy. But now, tormented by a dark secret, he travels to the fiery pits of Hell to retrieve it. Satan, who is incredibly bored these days, proposes a little wager: Johannes has one year to persuade one hundred people to sign over their souls or he will be damned forever.

    Yesssss. Pulpy goodness. The premise is great, the cover is great, the word of mouth is excellent. This is going to be a nice relaxing read.
    Words words words words words words words.

    Oh... oh no! Infinite Jest! I had a rather silly internet argument about this book and I don't know why! Now I'm actually going to read it? My denouncements can no longer be based on Internet Opinion? But without them I will lose all my Internet Troll power!

    Awesome! I can't wait to start!

    Thank you (currently) nameless Satan! I can't wait to start reading!

    Alt pic:

    Legba on
  • KeithKeith Registered User regular
    I've never heard of SomethingStore

    I'm gonna have to try that out sometime

  • sarukunsarukun Mr. Bulldopps Get SchwiftyRegistered User regular
    Didgeridoo wrote:

    This was a good post.

  • StaleghotiStaleghoti Registered User
    ohhh I wonder what I'm getting this year!

    tmmysta-sig.png2wT1Q.gifYAH!YAH!STEAMYoutubeMixesPSN: Clintown
    Dear satan I wish for this or maybe some of this....oh and I'm a medium or a large.
  • JansonJanson Registered User regular
    Keith wrote:
    I've never heard of SomethingStore

    I'm gonna have to try that out sometime
    Me either! But the site looks fun!

  • KusuguttaiKusuguttai __BANNED USERS regular
    My Satan will be getting something a little after Christmas. Sorry, but I just got my paycheck and am ordering it today :)

  • nevilleneville The Worst Gay (Seriously. The Worst!)Registered User regular
    Kusuguttai wrote:
    My Satan will be getting something a little after Christmas. Sorry, but I just got my paycheck and am ordering it today :)

    Says the guy who was in DisneyLand 2 days ago.

  • LegbaLegba Registered User regular
    It's a feint. Kusu's Satanee is getting a case of Mickey Minnie Mouse dolls.

  • David CoffmanDavid Coffman Registered User, Penny Arcade Staff, PAX Staff regular
    edited December 2011
    WOOO, today has been made a Good Day™.

    Not only have I received this incredible bounty...



    Okay, I'll stop shouting now. Seriously, I've always been a big fan of P&T and I'm genuinely looking forward to experiencing Black Dynamite. ;)

    AND CARAMILK!!!! (If you haven't experienced Caramilk, it's like Caramello except not made with wood pulp as the primary ingredient).

    Thanks Satan!

    David Coffman on
  • skettiosskettios Registered User regular
    Black Dynamite is one of my favoritest movies
    gw mystery satan!

  • godmodegodmode Nooo-ooo-ooo... That ain't dancin', SallyRegistered User regular
    2009 was a good year for Michael Jai White. Both Black Dynamite and Blood and Bone are fantastic. We watch them at work at least once a month.

  • SheriSheri Resident Fluffer My Living RoomRegistered User regular
This discussion has been closed.