Muse Among MenSuburban Bunny Princess?Its time for a new shtick Registered Userregular
edited February 2012
Feeling . . . ehh.
It sucks to realize just how much food has an impact on my happiness. I wasn't very happy when I was urged to stay home as opposed to leaving for college on the grounds that I was frail (there was a bunch of stuff happening at the time, they didn't want me leaving so I didn't really trust many of their calls), but I am like 80% positive my sophomore year I will be home and attending CC and health is one of my reasons, if not overwhelmingly so. I definitely feel less healthier since I started college and it has been very difficult to normalize my metabolism. I'd had fits and starts beginning 2 years prior where I was yoyo gaining/losing (metabolism getting fucked up so I was lethargic all the time and wrecked my sleep cycle, metabolism getting fucked up that I was hungry all the time and wanted to tear up in the middle of class since it had been a full hour since I'd last eaten, losing the progress I'd made after my braces made me lose a lot of weight in a manner of weeks making me loopy and lightheaded, etc), but I was doing really well the summer before I started attending my college and unfortunately 'doing well' meant my new eating schedule once again wrecked my metabolism. I once again lost a lot of weight and was hungry all the time, always thinking about food, and even though it has gotten better it is still far from ideal.
On the other hand I've still managed to regain some weight . . . you just can't really tell because of how it deposits :? Over collarbones and stuff. But back dimples are pretty cool.
I just made myself hungry, I think I will make soup.
[edit]: Score! Turns out the soup I'd ordered had chicken sunk at the bottom, yum.
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Sars_BoyRest, You Are The Lightning.Registered Userregular
i had things going pretty well for me and it all kind of spiraled out when things with the girl i was seeing (not even dating, really) went south and triggered me bumming myself out/blaming myself for everything/feeling like an idiot. it's crazy how one tiny event can make me depressed for a whole month.
then i went on a school-sponsored retreat thing at the behest of some friends who had good experiences with it and i think the biggest thing that i got out of it was that i just plain don't like myself that much right now. i am constantly fearing that the people who are my friends secretly hate/resent me without reason, i never feel like i deserve anything. i get (unreasonably) bummed out around people's happiness. it's not even like my life is in a shitty place right now: i have friends that love me and are there for me, i'm going to college in a great city. yet i can only ever focus on how (in my mind) i am a non-contributing leech on everyone's time and efforts.
my use of weed as an anti-depressant has quickly turned from something i would joke about to something i depend on to have a good time/be around others.
i've made an appointment with my school's counseling dept. so hopefully something positive comes of that. i've never done any sort of counseling/therapy before.
bleh.
oh man it's also been effecting my school work and now i have a mountain of shit to do that i just keep putting off and ohhhh boy i am going to have a breakdown in the next two weeks aren't i?
oh man it's also been effecting my school work and now i have a mountain of shit to do that i just keep putting off and ohhhh boy i am going to have a breakdown in the next two weeks aren't i?
i have a large amount of freelance checks and bonuses all hitting in the same week this week on top of my regular salary so its time to blow it all irresponsibly
Feeling damned good because my girlfriend showed up to surprise me on my birthday when she'd told me she wouldn't be arriving until the next day - best birthday present ever.
Posts
botp'd dang.
Yeah what the heck.
It sucks to realize just how much food has an impact on my happiness. I wasn't very happy when I was urged to stay home as opposed to leaving for college on the grounds that I was frail (there was a bunch of stuff happening at the time, they didn't want me leaving so I didn't really trust many of their calls), but I am like 80% positive my sophomore year I will be home and attending CC and health is one of my reasons, if not overwhelmingly so. I definitely feel less healthier since I started college and it has been very difficult to normalize my metabolism. I'd had fits and starts beginning 2 years prior where I was yoyo gaining/losing (metabolism getting fucked up so I was lethargic all the time and wrecked my sleep cycle, metabolism getting fucked up that I was hungry all the time and wanted to tear up in the middle of class since it had been a full hour since I'd last eaten, losing the progress I'd made after my braces made me lose a lot of weight in a manner of weeks making me loopy and lightheaded, etc), but I was doing really well the summer before I started attending my college and unfortunately 'doing well' meant my new eating schedule once again wrecked my metabolism. I once again lost a lot of weight and was hungry all the time, always thinking about food, and even though it has gotten better it is still far from ideal.
On the other hand I've still managed to regain some weight . . . you just can't really tell because of how it deposits :? Over collarbones and stuff. But back dimples are pretty cool.
I just made myself hungry, I think I will make soup.
[edit]: Score! Turns out the soup I'd ordered had chicken sunk at the bottom, yum.
oh man it's also been effecting my school work and now i have a mountain of shit to do that i just keep putting off and ohhhh boy i am going to have a breakdown in the next two weeks aren't i?
and i don't plan on changing that
(Also nervous that it will magically disappear as that has been the pattern but ehhh trying to ignore that)
hey this is me
i have a large amount of freelance checks and bonuses all hitting in the same week this week on top of my regular salary so its time to blow it all irresponsibly
It's like in WoW, when a bunch of people type /dance at the same time and then stand around for ages watching the animation go and go and go and go.
So excited.
EDIT: These right here, but in black.
They match!