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Is this your [chat]?

18586878890

Posts

  • OrganichuOrganichu poops peesRegistered User, Moderator mod
    what is roughly the return on a completely risk free way of saving, anyways

    like, in a way that will give you dividends/interest payments regularly

    assuming you're not willing to be risky because you're young or whatever

  • OrganichuOrganichu poops peesRegistered User, Moderator mod
    like if i have 700k in the bank, how much can i expect to earn a year if i'm not willing to take any risks with the money

  • japanjapan Registered User regular
    mindspork wrote: »
    syndalis wrote: »
    Deebaser wrote: »
    Thanatos wrote: »
    good lord f da police
    Amen, brotha; fight the power!

    A cop is picking me up for a road trip tomorrow. We may punch some hippies.
    F the haters.
    Oh shits, we are partying with a cop?

    *calls off the hookers and blow*

    Good idea. He can probably get both for super cheap!

    Eh there's probably some in the evidence locker he can snag.

    Shutting hookers in an evidence locker sounds like a scandal waiting to happen.

  • Caveman PawsCaveman Paws Registered User regular
    edited March 2012
    mindspork wrote: »
    syndalis wrote: »
    Deebaser wrote: »
    Thanatos wrote: »
    good lord f da police
    Amen, brotha; fight the power!

    A cop is picking me up for a road trip tomorrow. We may punch some hippies.
    F the haters.
    Oh shits, we are partying with a cop?

    *calls off the hookers and blow*

    Good idea. He can probably get both for super cheap!

    Eh there's probably some in the evidence locker he can snag.

    Oh man, I forgot, they are only called hookers when they're dead. Good thing you brought that up.

    Caveman Paws on
  • AbdhyiusAbdhyius Registered User regular
    Organichu wrote: »
    Winky wrote: »
    If I had $500 mil I would put like $5 mil in a savings account to live off of interest and then give all the rest of it away to people who deserved it/invest it in companies who will do some good in the world.

    i'd probably do something similar except i'd give away $5mil to people who could use it better than me, and then i'll live off the interest of 495,000,000 :)

    I would invest in a lot of oil companies.

    ftOqU21.png
  • AbdhyiusAbdhyius Registered User regular
    Organichu wrote: »
    like if i have 700k in the bank, how much can i expect to earn a year if i'm not willing to take any risks with the money

    ...the interest you'd get from the bank.

    ftOqU21.png
  • emnmnmeemnmnme Registered User regular
    Abdhyius wrote: »
    Organichu wrote: »
    Winky wrote: »
    If I had $500 mil I would put like $5 mil in a savings account to live off of interest and then give all the rest of it away to people who deserved it/invest it in companies who will do some good in the world.

    i'd probably do something similar except i'd give away $5mil to people who could use it better than me, and then i'll live off the interest of 495,000,000 :)

    I would invest in a lot of oil companies.

    I would invest in alternative fuel sources to spite abdy and his now-worthless oil fields.

  • WinkyWinky rRegistered User regular
    Organichu wrote: »
    like if i have 700k in the bank, how much can i expect to earn a year if i'm not willing to take any risks with the money

    Interest rates are really shitty right now, so like 1% on a savings account.

  • syndalissyndalis Getting Classy On the WallRegistered User, Loves Apple Products regular
    Organichu wrote: »
    what is roughly the return on a completely risk free way of saving, anyways

    like, in a way that will give you dividends/interest payments regularly

    assuming you're not willing to be risky because you're young or whatever

    Hrmm... you can put your assets into an account that is difficult to breach (read: CANNOT withdraw except at very specific intervals like every year, three years, five years, etc), and will receive a 6% interest off of it, given to you every month, six months, year, or whatever.

    SW-4158-3990-6116
    Let's play Mario Kart or something...
  • PantsBPantsB Fake Thomas Jefferson Registered User regular
    Winky wrote: »
    GUYS GUYS I HAVE A PLAN:

    Everyone on the forums empties their life savings accounts into a pool until we have $176 million.

    Then we systematically purchase every single possible permutation of the mega millions lottery numbers.

    Then we split the winnings based on how much you put in.

    Every single person who puts in money gets a ~1.4x guaranteed instant return on their investment.


    My statistics prof got this proposed to him by investors every time the amount of money got big. You're failing to take into account that there could be more than one winner. So even if you could buy enough tickets to guarantee the jackpot without spending $jackpot, you might only win $jackpot/2 or $jackpot/3, and its unlikely the EV of the other tickets would be enough to cancel it out.

    So while 175 million would be enough, you'd also have to hope no one else did it and no one else won.

    11793-1.png
    day9gosu.png
    QEDMF xbl: PantsB G+
  • hanskeyhanskey Registered User regular
    edited March 2012
    Abdhyius wrote: »
    Organichu wrote: »
    Winky wrote: »
    If I had $500 mil I would put like $5 mil in a savings account to live off of interest and then give all the rest of it away to people who deserved it/invest it in companies who will do some good in the world.

    i'd probably do something similar except i'd give away $5mil to people who could use it better than me, and then i'll live off the interest of 495,000,000 :)

    I would invest in a lot of oil companies.
    Yep, MLP units pay like dividends, but with a tax advantage.

    hanskey on
  • OrganichuOrganichu poops peesRegistered User, Moderator mod
    Abdhyius wrote: »
    Organichu wrote: »
    like if i have 700k in the bank, how much can i expect to earn a year if i'm not willing to take any risks with the money

    ...the interest you'd get from the bank.

    i have no idea what rates are typical for huge savings accounts

    that is why i am asking you goof

  • syndalissyndalis Getting Classy On the WallRegistered User, Loves Apple Products regular
    actually, I am waaaayyy off, its 2-4% on a trust, but bonds can get you 5-10%

    SW-4158-3990-6116
    Let's play Mario Kart or something...
  • hanskeyhanskey Registered User regular
    Also, make sure you structure the income so that you only pay the 15% tax on "long-term" capital gains.

  • FeralFeral MEMETICHARIZARD interior crocodile alligator ⇔ ǝɹʇɐǝɥʇ ǝᴉʌoɯ ʇǝloɹʌǝɥɔ ɐ ǝʌᴉɹp ᴉRegistered User regular
    edited March 2012
    Organichu wrote: »
    what is roughly the return on a completely risk free way of saving, anyways

    like, in a way that will give you dividends/interest payments regularly

    assuming you're not willing to be risky because you're young or whatever

    Guaranteed interest rate on an Ing Direct savings account is 0.80%, so $5m would get you $40k in the first year.

    You could also do a 60-month CD for 1%, so $50k for the first year.

    In periods of higher prime interest (better economy), it wasn't hard to find savings accounts with 1.5% interest rates and CDs with 2%.

    Realistically, though? A Standard & Poor 500 index fund is going to give you at least a 10% annual return over the long term. You might have a bad year here and there (2001, 2008), and there's no legal guarantee of a return, but it's still very low long-term risk.

    Edit: make that 15% for the S&P fund.

    Feral on
    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.

    the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
  • Shazkar ShadowstormShazkar Shadowstorm Registered User regular
    why are you imagining all this large amount of money

    poo
  • LeitnerLeitner Registered User regular
    Haha. Half a dozen Polish teenagers had the good fortune of deciding to play about with flick knives, and trying to break into vending machines right below fourteen police trainees who were on lunch after having literally just passed their 'searching/arresting someone with an offensive weapon' practical assessment.

    Still buzzing a little.
    The fact they were Polish is relevant, because they were meant to be flying home tomorrow. Well.

  • MazzyxMazzyx Comedy Gold Registered User regular
    Got a hair cut, so nice to have short hair again.

    u7stthr17eud.png
  • hanskeyhanskey Registered User regular
    Organichu wrote: »
    Abdhyius wrote: »
    Organichu wrote: »
    like if i have 700k in the bank, how much can i expect to earn a year if i'm not willing to take any risks with the money

    ...the interest you'd get from the bank.

    i have no idea what rates are typical for huge savings accounts

    that is why i am asking you goof
    Most banks are between 0% and 2% for a trad savings account, I think.

  • durandal4532durandal4532 Registered User regular
    edited March 2012
    Organichu wrote: »
    what is roughly the return on a completely risk free way of saving, anyways

    like, in a way that will give you dividends/interest payments regularly

    assuming you're not willing to be risky because you're young or whatever

    Hrmm... you can put your assets into an account that is difficult to breach (read: CANNOT withdraw except at very specific intervals like every year, three years, five years, etc), and will receive a 6% interest off of it, given to you every month, six months, year, or whatever.

    Yes, that thing. So for retirement, you get a giant chunk of change together and then get a regular "salary", but you can't actually move the money without... shattering the precious spires?

    I'll admit my understanding is kind of vague.

    durandal4532 on
    Take a moment to donate what you can to Critical Resistance and Black Lives Matter.
  • hanskeyhanskey Registered User regular
    edited March 2012
    why are you imagining all this large amount of money
    Nearly a half-billion dollar award for Mega Millions Lottery.

    hanskey on
  • GimGim a tall glass of water Registered User regular
    Stop making me want to buy a lottery ticket, guys. I've been good about it up until this point in my life.

  • DeebaserDeebaser on my way to work in a suit and a tie Ahhhh...come on fucking guyRegistered User regular
    syndalis wrote: »
    Deebaser wrote: »
    Thanatos wrote: »
    good lord f da police
    Amen, brotha; fight the power!

    A cop is picking me up for a road trip tomorrow. We may punch some hippies.
    F the haters.
    Oh shits, we are partying with a cop?

    *calls off the hookers and blow*

    Good idea. His car isn't large enough for hookers, plural.

    Shotgun! btw.

  • descdesc Goretexing to death Registered User regular
    Dude

    This is horrifying: democracynow.org/2012/3/29/killed_at_home_white_plains_ny

    Old guy's medic-alert bracelet goes off accidentally, police come to his house, break down his door, taser him, and then kill him.

    Like

    He was 68

    the officers are claiming self defence.

    God fucking damnit.

  • Shazkar ShadowstormShazkar Shadowstorm Registered User regular
    hanskey wrote: »
    why are you imagining all this large amount of money
    Nearly a half-billion dollar award for Mega Millions Lottery.
    ah yes

    people have been discussing this

    poo
  • syndalissyndalis Getting Classy On the WallRegistered User, Loves Apple Products regular
    Deebaser wrote: »
    syndalis wrote: »
    Deebaser wrote: »
    Thanatos wrote: »
    good lord f da police
    Amen, brotha; fight the power!

    A cop is picking me up for a road trip tomorrow. We may punch some hippies.
    F the haters.
    Oh shits, we are partying with a cop?

    *calls off the hookers and blow*

    Good idea. His car isn't large enough for hookers, plural.

    Shotgun! btw.

    Dude - it is your weekend; shotgun is implied.

    SW-4158-3990-6116
    Let's play Mario Kart or something...
  • hanskeyhanskey Registered User regular
    edited March 2012
    Gim wrote: »
    Stop making me want to buy a lottery ticket, guys. I've been good about it up until this point in my life.
    [chat] just has a bad, but temporary, case of gold-fever

    hanskey on
  • MazzyxMazzyx Comedy Gold Registered User regular
    Gim wrote: »
    Stop making me want to buy a lottery ticket, guys. I've been good about it up until this point in my life.

    I put down 2 bucks for two quick pick numbers. Have 0 hope of winning, just curious to see. And 2 bucks isn't breaking my bank.

    u7stthr17eud.png
  • mrflippymrflippy Registered User regular
    Every once in a while I'll buy a scratch-off lottery ticket. I think I'm like $5 up now or something.

  • SarksusSarksus ATTACK AND DETHRONE GODRegistered User regular
    I remember when ING had 4-5% interest on their online savings account.

    Fuckin economy.

  • WinkyWinky rRegistered User regular
    Gim wrote: »
    Stop making me want to buy a lottery ticket, guys. I've been good about it up until this point in my life.

    I mean, buying a ticket today is probably one of the few times where buying a ticket isn't actually dumb, as the odds are in your favor.

    Of course, you're still incredibly unlikely to win, but think of it like the highest risk/reward investment there is.

  • PantsBPantsB Fake Thomas Jefferson Registered User regular
    Organichu wrote: »
    what is roughly the return on a completely risk free way of saving, anyways

    like, in a way that will give you dividends/interest payments regularly

    assuming you're not willing to be risky because you're young or whatever

    Bonds are the most lucrative "sure thing." Normally its like 5-10% rate (worse than stocks on average but far less volatile) but now its 1-2% (still better than a savings account)

    11793-1.png
    day9gosu.png
    QEDMF xbl: PantsB G+
  • hanskeyhanskey Registered User regular
    edited March 2012
    desc wrote: »
    Dude

    This is horrifying: democracynow.org/2012/3/29/killed_at_home_white_plains_ny

    Old guy's medic-alert bracelet goes off accidentally, police come to his house, break down his door, taser him, and then kill him.

    Like

    He was 68

    the officers are claiming self defence.

    God fucking damnit.
    Shit is beyond fucked, up in this piece.

    hanskey on
  • hanskeyhanskey Registered User regular
    edited March 2012
    Sarksus wrote: »
    I remember when ING had 4-5% interest on their online savings account.

    Fuckin economy.
    I think you still get the best rates online and it may still be closer to that than I said.

    hanskey on
  • DeebaserDeebaser on my way to work in a suit and a tie Ahhhh...come on fucking guyRegistered User regular
    syndalis wrote: »
    Deebaser wrote: »
    syndalis wrote: »
    Deebaser wrote: »
    Thanatos wrote: »
    good lord f da police
    Amen, brotha; fight the power!

    A cop is picking me up for a road trip tomorrow. We may punch some hippies.
    F the haters.
    Oh shits, we are partying with a cop?

    *calls off the hookers and blow*

    Good idea. His car isn't large enough for hookers, plural.

    Shotgun! btw.

    Dude - it is your weekend; shotgun is implied.


    <3

  • GimGim a tall glass of water Registered User regular
    Mazzyx wrote: »
    Gim wrote: »
    Stop making me want to buy a lottery ticket, guys. I've been good about it up until this point in my life.

    I put down 2 bucks for two quick pick numbers. Have 0 hope of winning, just curious to see. And 2 bucks isn't breaking my bank.

    I might put down a fiver. When I don't win, lesson learned and I will spend my future fivers on naughty pogs.

  • WinkyWinky rRegistered User regular
    Mazzyx wrote: »
    Gim wrote: »
    Stop making me want to buy a lottery ticket, guys. I've been good about it up until this point in my life.

    I put down 2 bucks for two quick pick numbers. Have 0 hope of winning, just curious to see. And 2 bucks isn't breaking my bank.

    Hell, just go for your life savings.

    In this economy it's safer than a bank amirite?

  • Caveman PawsCaveman Paws Registered User regular
    edited March 2012
    hanskey wrote: »
    Gim wrote: »
    Stop making me want to buy a lottery ticket, guys. I've been good about it up until this point in my life.
    [chat] just has a bad, but temporary, case of gold-fever
    bc1(2).JPG

    Caveman Paws on
  • WinkyWinky rRegistered User regular
    hanskey wrote: »
    hanskey wrote: »
    Gim wrote: »
    Stop making me want to buy a lottery ticket, guys. I've been good about it up until this point in my life.
    [chat] just has a bad, but temporary, case of gold-fever
    bc1(2).JPG

    Damn corporate web blocking!! what did you link bro?

    The sexiest pornography I've ever seen.

  • hanskeyhanskey Registered User regular
    hanskey wrote: »
    Gim wrote: »
    Stop making me want to buy a lottery ticket, guys. I've been good about it up until this point in my life.
    [chat] just has a bad, but temporary, case of gold-fever
    bc1(2).JPG

    Damn corporate web blocking!! what did you link bro?

This discussion has been closed.