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[PA Comic] Friday, March 30, 2012 - Jokers To The Left Of Me

GethGeth LegionPerseus VeilRegistered User, Moderator, Penny Arcade Staff, Vanilla Staff vanilla
edited March 2012 in The Penny Arcade Hub

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    RMS OceanicRMS Oceanic Registered User regular
    I think this comic needs some context.

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    FalxFalx Registered User regular
    Gabe started an online country club for the new Tiger Woods game. It filled with random people from the internet almost instantly.

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    SabreMauSabreMau ネトゲしよう 판다리아Registered User regular
    Can internet people be caddies for players in the game? I would have figured players in a club would only be golfers.

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    OufourOufour Registered User regular
    Maybe people can talk with each other and become make shift caddies? I don't play gold games so I wouldn't know.

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    HorseshoeHorseshoe Registered User regular
    the clowns were to the left

    the jokers were to the right

    dmsigsmallek3.jpg
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    DaedalusDaedalus Registered User regular
    I can't hear that song, even in my head, without thinking of that horrifying scene from Reservoir Dogs.

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    KoopahTroopahKoopahTroopah The koopas, the troopas. Philadelphia, PARegistered User regular
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    TashernTashern Registered User regular
    SabreMau wrote: »
    Can internet people be caddies for players in the game? I would have figured players in a club would only be golfers.

    I feel like that would be the most boring thing ever.

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    joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    edited March 2012
    Tashern wrote: »
    SabreMau wrote: »
    Can internet people be caddies for players in the game? I would have figured players in a club would only be golfers.

    I feel like that would be the most boring thing ever.

    The next version of the game will allow you to be the accountant for the country club

    joshofalltrades on
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    agilemaniaagilemania Lyon EstatesRegistered User regular
    I think the caddies are AI/NPC, but apparently not very good ones.

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    SyphyreSyphyre A Dangerous Pastime Registered User regular
    Tashern wrote: »
    SabreMau wrote: »
    Can internet people be caddies for players in the game? I would have figured players in a club would only be golfers.

    I feel like that would be the most boring thing ever.

    The next version of the game will allow you to be the accountant for the country club

    I hear there will be masseuse positions open in the country club's locker room.

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    TashernTashern Registered User regular
    Tashern wrote: »
    SabreMau wrote: »
    Can internet people be caddies for players in the game? I would have figured players in a club would only be golfers.

    I feel like that would be the most boring thing ever.

    The next version of the game will allow you to be the accountant for the country club

    Features include:
    - The ability the pick what shade of white you want your office to be
    - Pen or pencil?
    - What ramen flavor do you devour alone tonight? THE CHOICE IS YOURS
    - After a year you have the ability to kill yourself or start a new game + in which you buy a new calculator

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    LucascraftLucascraft Registered User regular
    Syphyre wrote: »
    Tashern wrote: »
    SabreMau wrote: »
    Can internet people be caddies for players in the game? I would have figured players in a club would only be golfers.

    I feel like that would be the most boring thing ever.

    The next version of the game will allow you to be the accountant for the country club

    I hear there will be masseuse positions open in the country club's locker room.

    Happy ending optional.

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    Jam WarriorJam Warrior Registered User regular
    Lucascraft wrote: »
    Syphyre wrote: »
    Tashern wrote: »
    SabreMau wrote: »
    Can internet people be caddies for players in the game? I would have figured players in a club would only be golfers.

    I feel like that would be the most boring thing ever.

    The next version of the game will allow you to be the accountant for the country club

    I hear there will be masseuse positions open in the country club's locker room.

    Happy ending optional.

    Paid on disc DLC.

    It's such bullshit. All the components required are right there in the original transaction, but to unlock the ability to interact with it as you desire they'll demand to squeeze more cash out of you.

    MhCw7nZ.gif
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    ShadowhopeShadowhope Baa. Registered User regular
    Tashern wrote: »
    - After a year you have the ability to kill yourself or start a new game + in which you buy a new calculator

    ...still a better ending than ME3!

    Civics is not a consumer product that you can ignore because you don’t like the options presented.
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    RehabRehab Registered User regular
    I don't even care what the next shot is, I'll go with that iron that is slightly teethed over any of the other clubs with vomit on the grips every time.

    Those par 5s would suck though!

    NNID: Rehab0
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    GriswoldGriswold that's rough, buddyRegistered User regular
    Lucascraft wrote: »
    Syphyre wrote: »
    Tashern wrote: »
    SabreMau wrote: »
    Can internet people be caddies for players in the game? I would have figured players in a club would only be golfers.

    I feel like that would be the most boring thing ever.

    The next version of the game will allow you to be the accountant for the country club

    I hear there will be masseuse positions open in the country club's locker room.

    Happy ending optional.

    Paid on disc DLC.

    It's such bullshit. All the components required are right there in the original transaction, but to unlock the ability to interact with it as you desire they'll demand to squeeze more cash out of you.

    that's not all they'll be squeezing out of you

    FFXIV: Brick Shizzhouse - Zalera (Crystal)
    Path of Exile: snowcrash7
    MTG Arena: Snow_Crash#34179
    Battle.net: Snowcrash#1873
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    FramlingFramling FaceHead Geebs has bad ideas.Registered User regular
    Newspost is up
    Tycho wrote:
    We’ve had such terrible experiences in one way or another with so many iterations of EA’s Tiger Woods franchise that they’ve probably scared me off permanently. I was one of the annual purchasers who felt the shock of their next-gen transition, the one that decimated the course roster, but choked it down; it wasn’t until it became clear that their mechanism for multiplayer matching and gameplay simply didn’t work that I gave up.

    Gabriel likes golf much more than I do - he actually likes Golf, capital g, as opposed to Eating Snacks From The Snack Cart (which is the game I like) or Driving The Carts Inappropriately (another favorite). I enjoy golf games, for the reasons I’ve delineated previously: there are very, very few inputs in a game like this, which suffuses each one of them with tremendous import. But I play them for the same reason I accompany my friends on an actual course. It is a primarily social engagement. So if that part if your game doesn’t work, for me, the game evaporates.

    No so for my compatriot, because the game being simulated is still golf. And it’s especially Golfy this time around, by which I mean that it takes its cues from the sport itself from a feature perspective. Gabriel is especially pleased with the new (ahem) “stroke,” which consists of a single, beautiful, DaVinci-style arc informed by human mechanics and no other bullshit. Where they’ve really gotten hold of him is with their Country Clubs, which in any other game would be called a clan. He’s creating daily and weekly tournaments, they’re levelling the club in a cooperative way, and they earn bonuses individually from the structure. The developer experimented with Social Challenges previously, I don’t know if that was ever a thing, but this new methodology is both incredibly powerful and fits the setting.

    He’s already suggested that the Kinect portion of the Xbox offering isn’t going to set the world ablaze, but he did mention a couple novel interactions; you shield your eyes to look out over the course, and you crouch down to read a green. They make you choose a control scheme ahead of time, which means you can’t mix and match. Functionally, that means he will never use it, when he might have leveraged a combination of gestures, voice, and pad given the opportunity. I hope these types of either/or manifestations are an artifact of this ancient hardware and not some bedrock philosophy.

    You have two caddies that can make suggestions about clubs and shot placement, and the creatures they have on offer serve up surreal and terrifying advice. The first is raw, amoral id and the second is a paranoid schizophrenic, so the best shot is usually somewhere in the middle.

    (CW)TB out.

    Based on how ME3 integrated Kinect voice recognition, I'd guess the either/or manifestations are more an artifact of development processes than anything to do with the hardware.

    FULL DISCLOSURE: I AM A FULL-TIME EMPLOYEE OF MICROSOFT CORPORATION. ANY OPINIONS EXPRESSED HEREIN ARE MY OWN, AND NOT THOSE OF MICROSOFT CORPORATION OR ITS SUBSIDIARIES OR AFFLIATES. ANY LIKENESS TO ANY PERSONS OR EVENTS, LIVING OR DEAD, ARE COINCIDENTAL. THIS DISCLAIMER NOT TO BE REMOVED UNDER PENALTY OF LAW EXCEPT BY THE END CONSUMER. THIS TELECAST IS COPYRIGHTED BY THE NFL FOR THE PRIVATE USE OF OUR AUDIENCE. ANY OTHER USE OF THIS TELECAST, OR OF ANY PICTURES, DESCRIPTIONS, OR ACCOUNTS OF THE GAME WITHOUT THE NFL'S CONSENT IS PROHIBITED.

    you're = you are
    your = belonging to you

    their = belonging to them
    there = not here
    they're = they are
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    durandal4532durandal4532 Registered User regular
    Gabe's disappointed pursing of the lips and little clenched hands are adorable

    Take a moment to donate what you can to Critical Resistance and Black Lives Matter.
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    DerBeppoDerBeppo Registered User regular
    I am one of the lucky 24 others that made it into the Penny Arcadia CC. As far as the caddies go, I can't tell if they just ignore the wind or if I just really suck at drawing/fading shots.

    Then again, the game itself can be pretty easy, depending on the settings. Last I checked, I was in the lead for our weekly tournament. After 4 rounds I finished -50 or so (-10, -20, -11, -9ish).

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    OufourOufour Registered User regular
    Tashern wrote: »
    SabreMau wrote: »
    Can internet people be caddies for players in the game? I would have figured players in a club would only be golfers.

    I feel like that would be the most boring thing ever.
    I think you mean single best chat room ever!

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    ColdbrandColdbrand Registered User regular
    You said you'd bring back Hector, Gabe! Where's my Hector!?

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    ScionfallScionfall Registered User regular
    edited March 2012
    I can totally relate to the driving golf carts inappropriately game :P. Used to work at a metro park near home and picking up the trash on the grounds consisted of jumping in a golf cart, throwing a trash can in the back, grabbing a prodder and racing all over trying to pick up people's litter on the fly. Well...it was til I crashed it into a tree and cost the park $6000 to replace the thing....

    When I think about it though I think this would make for a great mini-game/DLC in this game of Golf they're referring to. I vote for making Cadee One and Two unlockable characters for it as well.

    Scionfall on
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