i'm not saying i'm embarrassed of my hobbies. it could be something perfectly respectable and not really maligned by anyone. it's just identifying as anything. it makes me uncomfortable to pigeonhole myself, and to think of myself (or to be thought of) as 'that guy who likes ____ and does ____ and thinks ____'
i'm sure this is just 16 year old angst and a desire to be an individual, maaaaaan
but that is the situation basically
for example, when i'm at my therapist i fucking despise (and am slightly phobic of) the idea of me saying something that matches the DSM and him thinking 'ah yes, a case of ____'
fitting a profile makes me feel insignificant!
but i guess we're all insignificant
i dunno, this shit is depressing
The problem is that people want to define you entirely by just some of what you do.
But we are too cool for that.
Winky on
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LudiousI just wanted a sandwich A temporally dislocated QuiznosRegistered Userregular
Why would I ever define someone by their hobbies
When I can define them by their economic status and ethnicity
Apparently Japan will be shutting down its last active nuclear reactor this weekend, they will be entirely off of nuclear power at that point.
Seems a bit of a knee jerk reaction.
This has been a terrible human tragedy but the long term negative press it's gotten nuclear power, a system we should absolutely be flocking to (why aren't there like 10 reactors in the Nevada desert?) will never be used now is the real tragedy.
I fully agree. The reaction should be to make nuclear power better and safer, not discard it out of hand.
Well, at this point, it's not so much how many safe ones you have. All you need is one single run-down piece of shit and sooner or later there's a big chunk of land you can't use for the next 50,000 years. That's basically the argument you're up against right now.
I have a new soccer blog The Minnow Tank. Reading it psychically kicks Sepp Blatter in the bean bag.
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Donkey KongPutting Nintendo out of business with AI nipsRegistered Userregular
I still think BJJ stands for blowjob jitsu.
Thousands of hot, local singles are waiting to play at bubbulon.com.
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VanguardBut now the dream is over. And the insect is awake.Registered User, __BANNED USERSregular
The IRS sent my Tax forms back! AGAIN!!! I guess it was because of my response to the question : "List all dependents?" I replied -"12 million illegal immigrants; "3 million crack heads; "42 million unemployable people on food stamps, "2 million people in over 243 prisons; "Half of Mexico ; and "535 fools in the U.S. House and Senate.”
Apparently, this was NOT an acceptable answer
I hope no one thinks like this. Then again, I did just learn about Wanda Brown's shenanigans via the Daily Show.
i'm not saying i'm embarrassed of my hobbies. it could be something perfectly respectable and not really maligned by anyone. it's just identifying as anything. it makes me uncomfortable to pigeonhole myself, and to think of myself (or to be thought of) as 'that guy who likes ____ and does ____ and thinks ____'
i'm sure this is just 16 year old angst and a desire to be an individual, maaaaaan
but that is the situation basically
for example, when i'm at my therapist i fucking despise (and am slightly phobic of) the idea of me saying something that matches the DSM and him thinking 'ah yes, a case of ____'
fitting a profile makes me feel insignificant!
but i guess we're all insignificant
i dunno, this shit is depressing
You don't have to define yourself by what you do. Time investment in something = / = identity.
as a transexual sissyboy gamer,
That's you defining yourself via those terms though. To be sure, they're part of you, but they're not the only parts.
Any neat definition of yourself is like to be confining.
i'm not saying i'm embarrassed of my hobbies. it could be something perfectly respectable and not really maligned by anyone. it's just identifying as anything. it makes me uncomfortable to pigeonhole myself, and to think of myself (or to be thought of) as 'that guy who likes ____ and does ____ and thinks ____'
i'm sure this is just 16 year old angst and a desire to be an individual, maaaaaan
but that is the situation basically
for example, when i'm at my therapist i fucking despise (and am slightly phobic of) the idea of me saying something that matches the DSM and him thinking 'ah yes, a case of ____'
fitting a profile makes me feel insignificant!
but i guess we're all insignificant
i dunno, this shit is depressing
The problem is that people want to define you entirely by just some of what you do.
The IRS sent my Tax forms back! AGAIN!!! I guess it was because of my response to the question : "List all dependents?" I replied -"12 million illegal immigrants; "3 million crack heads; "42 million unemployable people on food stamps, "2 million people in over 243 prisons; "Half of Mexico ; and "535 fools in the U.S. House and Senate.”
Apparently, this was NOT an acceptable answer
I hope no one thinks like this. Then again, I did just learn about Wanda Brown's shenanigans via the Daily Show.
i'm not saying i'm embarrassed of my hobbies. it could be something perfectly respectable and not really maligned by anyone. it's just identifying as anything. it makes me uncomfortable to pigeonhole myself, and to think of myself (or to be thought of) as 'that guy who likes ____ and does ____ and thinks ____'
i'm sure this is just 16 year old angst and a desire to be an individual, maaaaaan
but that is the situation basically
for example, when i'm at my therapist i fucking despise (and am slightly phobic of) the idea of me saying something that matches the DSM and him thinking 'ah yes, a case of ____'
fitting a profile makes me feel insignificant!
but i guess we're all insignificant
i dunno, this shit is depressing
You don't have to define yourself by what you do. Time investment in something = / = identity.
as a transexual sissyboy gamer,
...
Go on
*whips out dick*
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LudiousI just wanted a sandwich A temporally dislocated QuiznosRegistered Userregular
Apparently Japan will be shutting down its last active nuclear reactor this weekend, they will be entirely off of nuclear power at that point.
Seems a bit of a knee jerk reaction.
This has been a terrible human tragedy but the long term negative press it's gotten nuclear power, a system we should absolutely be flocking to (why aren't there like 10 reactors in the Nevada desert?) will never be used now is the real tragedy.
I fully agree. The reaction should be to make nuclear power better and safer, not discard it out of hand.
Well, at this point, it's not so much how many safe ones you have. All you need is one single run-down piece of shit and sooner or later there's a big chunk of land you can't use for the next 50,000 years. That's basically the argument you're up against right now.
Except that that's not really true of the reactors we build today. We should be building those things like crazy, especially in the U.S.
Well, honestly, in the U.S., we should be turning the Southwest into the world's largest solar power plant. But we should also be building nuke plants.
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AManFromEarthLet's get to twerk!The King in the SwampRegistered Userregular
Apparently Japan will be shutting down its last active nuclear reactor this weekend, they will be entirely off of nuclear power at that point.
Seems a bit of a knee jerk reaction.
This has been a terrible human tragedy but the long term negative press it's gotten nuclear power, a system we should absolutely be flocking to (why aren't there like 10 reactors in the Nevada desert?) will never be used now is the real tragedy.
I fully agree. The reaction should be to make nuclear power better and safer, not discard it out of hand.
Well, at this point, it's not so much how many safe ones you have. All you need is one single run-down piece of shit and sooner or later there's a big chunk of land you can't use for the next 50,000 years. That's basically the argument you're up against right now.
UGH
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AManFromEarthLet's get to twerk!The King in the SwampRegistered Userregular
Speaking of ugh, I've gotten to the last season of Scrubs, which while not awful, kind of destroyed the perfect ending season eight had.
So today I realized my Ph. D is at a standstill, I don't have enough useful content to save it, and I sure as hell don't have the goodwill to expend on saving it, since you don't get to his point because things take a long time to do, you get here because nothing's working and that never changed.
Or I guess if you holiday in Hawaii for 3 years, but then I presume I'd have more knowledge of volcanoes.
So, by my estimate, I am done with this, since they're not paying me anymore and there's basically no chance of salvaging this. And it's taking an enormous toll in terms of mental health, motivation and marketable workplace experience.
...
Am I over-reacting to something? I mean I literally don't have enough content for more then 2 results chapters by my count, and the laboratory I'm in is actively getting less well maintained by the day.
What does your adviser say?
That's a good question. Your advisor will be the person who knows best in this case.
That said, I don't know what discipline you're in, but in engineering two chapters of novel results (which I assume you generated using some new experimental methodology you devised) would be considered a solid thesis. Why do you say it's unsalvageable?
Apparently Japan will be shutting down its last active nuclear reactor this weekend, they will be entirely off of nuclear power at that point.
Seems a bit of a knee jerk reaction.
This has been a terrible human tragedy but the long term negative press it's gotten nuclear power, a system we should absolutely be flocking to (why aren't there like 10 reactors in the Nevada desert?) will never be used now is the real tragedy.
I fully agree. The reaction should be to make nuclear power better and safer, not discard it out of hand.
Well, at this point, it's not so much how many safe ones you have. All you need is one single run-down piece of shit and sooner or later there's a big chunk of land you can't use for the next 50,000 years. That's basically the argument you're up against right now.
Except that that's not really true of the reactors we build today. We should be building those things like crazy, especially in the U.S.
Well, honestly, in the U.S., we should be turning the Southwest into the world's largest solar power plant. But we should also be building nuke plants.
The ones you build today aren't the ones that wind up on the news. It's, again, the out-of-date pieces of shit that are about to get decommissioned.
I have a new soccer blog The Minnow Tank. Reading it psychically kicks Sepp Blatter in the bean bag.
also today i suffered from my first real tinge of social anxiety since like, the 7th grade. it was weird. typically i am very comfortable and un-shy. this random surge of nervousness was so uncharacteristic that it confused me more than it upset me.
Your oil is lovingly extracted from the earth via hand pump while you watch. It is then refined in real-time, in your choice of an oak barrel or a gentleman's top hat, whereupon we add only the freshest of ingredients, including organic chives, fair trade oregano, and St. John's Wort.
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DynagripBreak me a million heartsHoustonRegistered User, ClubPAregular
So today I realized my Ph. D is at a standstill, I don't have enough useful content to save it, and I sure as hell don't have the goodwill to expend on saving it, since you don't get to his point because things take a long time to do, you get here because nothing's working and that never changed.
Or I guess if you holiday in Hawaii for 3 years, but then I presume I'd have more knowledge of volcanoes.
So, by my estimate, I am done with this, since they're not paying me anymore and there's basically no chance of salvaging this. And it's taking an enormous toll in terms of mental health, motivation and marketable workplace experience.
...
Am I over-reacting to something? I mean I literally don't have enough content for more then 2 results chapters by my count, and the laboratory I'm in is actively getting less well maintained by the day.
I wish I had cheery advice. I don't even know what you should do when the problem is like this. Usually phd problems are "I'm burned out" and not "shit out of my control does not work."
That actually is a pretty good summary of the problem as well. The issue is "stuff didn't work" and so I was always encouraged to go find something which did. Which was easy - the lab does hydrosilylation and is supposed to be proud of it, it's just it turns out all of that - which took some time to do - is completely irrelevant to my initial goals. And, since it was supposed to be so well understood as to be routine, I don't have comprehensive analysis of it (although, we actually did a pretty good job on all sorts of things of that - it just doesn't fit with anything I was trying to do).
So at the end of the day, my results, my "story" doesn't make any sense. After year 1, the obvious answer - which I recall suggesting to my supervisor - was that we should take the better understood nanocube synthesis method and see what else we could make with it, since that was well within the bounds of what we could do. But I had set out with intentions of nano-lego, my supervisor wanted nano-lego, and so instead I was encouraged to go after that. The problem though, is that particular goal was based on a whole lot of assumptions which pretty clearly weren't true at that point: you can't get nanocubes off silicon surfaces that easily, the "flatness" probably doesn't matter, in fact the entire underlying silicon construct basically has no influence on the nanocubes beyond being enormously attractive - under van der Waal's forces - to nanocube adsorption (nature hates flat things). And then there's the whole opposition to using fluoresence microscopy for DNA assays. I have no fucking clue why he was so opposed to this, because it is the technique to use for anything involving DNA, you get quantification basically for free, but my last gasp last year was me buying fluorescent DNA on my own credit card just so me and Bulgarian girl would have some. Around that time everyone suddenly got concerned about progress, thesis writing and reviews, so right as I took delivery I was strongly discouraged from further experimentation.
So yeah, I don't think there's cheery advice to be had, I'm mostly trying to make sure I'm at peace with the decision - I have the unfortunate habit of not letting things go, and I don't want to be 6 months into unemployment, doctorate-less, and still thinking of what I could have done - the evidence against which is mostly that it's not like I wasn't trying to do these things for the 4 years prior.
"A handsome man with tousled hair and an aversion to commitment showed up at my door, suitcase in hand, seeking shelter from the storm. (Okay, he'd called beforehand, but still.) We had a two-day romance — he played music, I wore a dress, we talked for hours. Then he disappeared from my life on a six-a.m. flight, and that was that. It was the emotional and quirky hit-it-and-quit-it."
"My pop-culture education to date had not prepared me for this scenario. Yes, I felt a sense of loss at his leaving, but I also felt a sense of spiritual wholeness. Why wasn't I moping around waiting for him to come back to me, like in a romantic-comedy post-breakup pre-finale montage? Why did I feel, of all things, better connected to my art?"
Okay where do I go to sign up to become one of these?
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AManFromEarthLet's get to twerk!The King in the SwampRegistered Userregular
Look guys, you can build the best house you want but if an asteroid hits it you're still going to die.
YAWN
Wake me up the next time we have a-quite literal-perfect storm of horrible events like Fukushima.
The problem with 4x games is that their scope is appealing but 80% of the actual gameplay and thus time spent with the game is fucking dreadful meaningless tedium. You only rarely get the chance to do something exciting or fun; they are mostly bureaucracy and administration simulations.
Interspersed with lovely bouts of genocide.
at least, that's how I play them.
(and by them I mean pretty much just Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri)
Alpha Centauri isn't really a 4X.
wut
You explore a randomly generated world, expand by taking new territory, exploit (ok, I don't recall special resource tiles), and could easily win by exterminating your opposition.
It pretty much is used to descibe games like Master of Orion, Imperium Galactic, Sins of a Solar Empire, and such.
So today I realized my Ph. D is at a standstill, I don't have enough useful content to save it, and I sure as hell don't have the goodwill to expend on saving it, since you don't get to his point because things take a long time to do, you get here because nothing's working and that never changed.
Or I guess if you holiday in Hawaii for 3 years, but then I presume I'd have more knowledge of volcanoes.
So, by my estimate, I am done with this, since they're not paying me anymore and there's basically no chance of salvaging this. And it's taking an enormous toll in terms of mental health, motivation and marketable workplace experience.
...
Am I over-reacting to something? I mean I literally don't have enough content for more then 2 results chapters by my count, and the laboratory I'm in is actively getting less well maintained by the day.
I wish I had cheery advice. I don't even know what you should do when the problem is like this. Usually phd problems are "I'm burned out" and not "shit out of my control does not work."
That actually is a pretty good summary of the problem as well. The issue is "stuff didn't work" and so I was always encouraged to go find something which did. Which was easy - the lab does hydrosilylation and is supposed to be proud of it, it's just it turns out all of that - which took some time to do - is completely irrelevant to my initial goals. And, since it was supposed to be so well understood as to be routine, I don't have comprehensive analysis of it (although, we actually did a pretty good job on all sorts of things of that - it just doesn't fit with anything I was trying to do).
So at the end of the day, my results, my "story" doesn't make any sense. After year 1, the obvious answer - which I recall suggesting to my supervisor - was that we should take the better understood nanocube synthesis method and see what else we could make with it, since that was well within the bounds of what we could do. But I had set out with intentions of nano-lego, my supervisor wanted nano-lego, and so instead I was encouraged to go after that. The problem though, is that particular goal was based on a whole lot of assumptions which pretty clearly weren't true at that point: you can't get nanocubes off silicon surfaces that easily, the "flatness" probably doesn't matter, in fact the entire underlying silicon construct basically has no influence on the nanocubes beyond being enormously attractive - under van der Waal's forces - to nanocube adsorption (nature hates flat things). And then there's the whole opposition to using fluoresence microscopy for DNA assays. I have no fucking clue why he was so opposed to this, because it is the technique to use for anything involving DNA, you get quantification basically for free, but my last gasp last year was me buying fluorescent DNA on my own credit card just so me and Bulgarian girl would have some. Around that time everyone suddenly got concerned about progress, thesis writing and reviews, so right as I took delivery I was strongly discouraged from further experimentation.
So yeah, I don't think there's cheery advice to be had, I'm mostly trying to make sure I'm at peace with the decision - I have the unfortunate habit of not letting things go, and I don't want to be 6 months into unemployment, doctorate-less, and still thinking of what I could have done - the evidence against which is mostly that it's not like I wasn't trying to do these things for the 4 years prior.
If you were in the U.S., I would honestly suggest talking to a lawyer. I think more students should sue schools for the bullshit they put them through.
Is there any way you can write up what you have into some form of mostly bullshit, then point out to your supervisor that it's his fucking fault that you've wasted four years of your life on this, so he had better make goddamn sure you've got something to show for it?
I'm guessing you don't have much leverage for that.
The beauty of the Ph. D system is that it's always explainable that it's the student's fault. Hell, it certainly feels like my fault. When you look back and consider alternatives, or paths not taken, or how you should've optimized your workflow it always feels like your fault. But then I remember that I've had at least a dozen "here's a new plan" moments, mostly compromised by contact with "remember how it's fucking impossible to make more then 4 samples reliably, and you need 11 control experiments?"
I spent a fair amount of time trying to prototype solutions to that sort of problem - which is not trivial at all when it's an absolute dependency for the rest of what you're trying to do. My advice to every post-grad student would be to avoid chained dependencies. If you can't do the 3rd experimental chapter of your thesis standalone, then you'll never get there in the first place.
Honestly I just want to shake the nagging stress, and use my birth-cicumstance to become the Gen Y which is apparently destroying the economy for everyone.
He doesn't say much. Apparently he always assumed I had more then I was showing him - which I find curious, since on a number of occasions I basically showed him what I had, noted it didn't work, and then proposed some solutions and got told "yeah that sounds good". Then in the last few months - in an oddly reactionary fashion - suddenly my SEM analysis protocols are inadequate and I have no answers to simple questions which never arose before.
Like I said: even if there was an experimental path out I thought would work, I'm pretty unconvinced based on prior experience that I'll get any cooperation or support, especially now.
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OnTheLastCastlelet's keep it haimish for the peripateticRegistered Userregular
You just be, Winky. You can't be mopey one day then all manic the next so... fix that.
Your oil is lovingly extracted from the earth via hand pump while you watch. It is then refined in real-time, in your choice of an oak barrel or a gentleman's top hat, whereupon we add only the freshest of ingredients, including organic chives, fair trade oregano, and St. John's Wort.
Are we drinking this shit? If so, please muddle my ingredients.
Posts
The problem is that people want to define you entirely by just some of what you do.
But we are too cool for that.
When I can define them by their economic status and ethnicity
"Ethical" oil.
Well, at this point, it's not so much how many safe ones you have. All you need is one single run-down piece of shit and sooner or later there's a big chunk of land you can't use for the next 50,000 years. That's basically the argument you're up against right now.
That's you defining yourself via those terms though. To be sure, they're part of you, but they're not the only parts.
Any neat definition of yourself is like to be confining.
Exactly! You have to look at the whole picture.
And so also judge you by the music you listen to!
And the clothes you wear!
|)
that is because you are 12, donkey kong
...
Go on
*whips out dick*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAVx9RKaLPU
Well, honestly, in the U.S., we should be turning the Southwest into the world's largest solar power plant. But we should also be building nuke plants.
UGH
that is just like three kinds of a really?
That's a good question. Your advisor will be the person who knows best in this case.
That said, I don't know what discipline you're in, but in engineering two chapters of novel results (which I assume you generated using some new experimental methodology you devised) would be considered a solid thesis. Why do you say it's unsalvageable?
you goddamned lush
It's trying to break you from your intellectual prison, Elendil.
Netflix is your manic pixie dream girl.
it's pretty true, but accepting impermanence should let you enjoy each moment rather than rail against the powers that be.
The ones you build today aren't the ones that wind up on the news. It's, again, the out-of-date pieces of shit that are about to get decommissioned.
man.
weird day so far.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfMz0VyaWNw
you should watch fortress
http://www.nerve.com/movies/whither-the-manic-pixie-dream-guy
"Bespoke" oil.
Your oil is lovingly extracted from the earth via hand pump while you watch. It is then refined in real-time, in your choice of an oak barrel or a gentleman's top hat, whereupon we add only the freshest of ingredients, including organic chives, fair trade oregano, and St. John's Wort.
Apply due to DuPont, 3M, etc.
Wait wait
Okay where do I go to sign up to become one of these?
YAWN
Wake me up the next time we have a-quite literal-perfect storm of horrible events like Fukushima.
...wut?
The beauty of the Ph. D system is that it's always explainable that it's the student's fault. Hell, it certainly feels like my fault. When you look back and consider alternatives, or paths not taken, or how you should've optimized your workflow it always feels like your fault. But then I remember that I've had at least a dozen "here's a new plan" moments, mostly compromised by contact with "remember how it's fucking impossible to make more then 4 samples reliably, and you need 11 control experiments?"
I spent a fair amount of time trying to prototype solutions to that sort of problem - which is not trivial at all when it's an absolute dependency for the rest of what you're trying to do. My advice to every post-grad student would be to avoid chained dependencies. If you can't do the 3rd experimental chapter of your thesis standalone, then you'll never get there in the first place.
Honestly I just want to shake the nagging stress, and use my birth-cicumstance to become the Gen Y which is apparently destroying the economy for everyone.
He doesn't say much. Apparently he always assumed I had more then I was showing him - which I find curious, since on a number of occasions I basically showed him what I had, noted it didn't work, and then proposed some solutions and got told "yeah that sounds good". Then in the last few months - in an oddly reactionary fashion - suddenly my SEM analysis protocols are inadequate and I have no answers to simple questions which never arose before.
Like I said: even if there was an experimental path out I thought would work, I'm pretty unconvinced based on prior experience that I'll get any cooperation or support, especially now.
... doesn't it?
Are we drinking this shit? If so, please muddle my ingredients.
That is one of the best ones.
Clinical immortality is also good
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GBVCi0PmW24
I heard they are always a great way to show someone how much you love them.
especially the gorilla