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Penny Arcade goes to Jail
Tw4win
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Registered User regular
[edited by Jacobkosh]
Jacobkosh on
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Like you, I still feel very fondly for this girl. But I also actively make an effort to not speak to or do anything that would put me in contact with her. What helped me make the transition was realizing that she really wasn't such a horrible person deep down. She'd just had a very shitty life and learned a set of survival skills that ended up causing her to destroy almost any relationship she had with people. She, if anything, was a victim too of a number of other tragedies. Still that didn't change how she acted and the fact that she simply would never stop manipulating me until there was literally no way for her to get me involved. (I moved 100 miles away to a new job, changed my phone number, that sort of thing.)
Now I feel much better about the whole ordeal and like you ended up meeting some much better people. Fortunately in my case it just didn't involve jail time.
TL;DR: When dealing with people you like it's worth always remembering that even someone with the best intentions can be so psychologically damaged as to make taking legal action entirely necessary. I actually had to get a restraining order on this girl myself. Don't feel like you're the aggressor here.
When I started writing this post I wanted it to be a discussion of jail. I'm not sure it turned out that way.
Naw, it livejournal'd out a bit. Still a good read, and good to hear you seem to be getting through it.
I think there's a fun conversation to be had there regarding bail, but didn't want to derail. I know I was in a situation once where due to being unable to make bail I was actually facing more time in jail waiting for my trial date than my charges carried were I found guilty. Goes to show the pitfalls of requiring significant bail/bond in cases of weak evidence and/or no significant flight risk.
EDIT: And honestly, jail sounded a lot like basic training.
It's okay. Sometimes when you're going through stuff you in no way deserve to be going through, you get frustrated and a topic that marginally touches on what you're going through ends up turning into a full-blown catharsis-fest. It happens. Sometimes it kinda needs to happen.
It’s not a very important country most of the time
http://steamcommunity.com/id/mortious
Hahaha. Someone remembers that story. She has both of her hands.
Regarding bail, the current system is a bit messed up. I was inside with people who had committed violent crimes and who had "less" bail than I did. Either less of a cash bond, less of a bond with surety that they just couldn't pay, or a higher bond with surety but at least some surety. I ended up with a $30k bond with surety. Luckily while I was locked up my parents were able to find a good bail bondsman who realized that I'm not a flight risk and that I really am innocent of all charges so they ended up paying $1500 to get me out. Money I'll need to repay in the near future.
I learned that your bail is really subjective. If you get a "friendly" judge or magistrate you're not going to have a problem but if you get one on a bad day you're basically screwed. Even more appalling to me is the fact that the DA in the case hadn't even looked at ANYTHING regarding it until today. He came to court totally unprepared and my lawyer had to really fight to get him to agree to a modified bail agreement. Had he not we would have had to have a bail hearing where the magistrate decided. I may have ended up with a better deal on bail but then again, I may still have been in jail right now.
I also learned that people really can get "lost in the system" very easily. Like mcdermott said, it's possible to spend more time awaiting trial than your actual sentence. Hell, had I not made bail I probably would be stuck in jail for another two months before my trial. There were people in jail that were just wasting time between court hearings because they couldn't make bail.
Think about it, none of my "crimes" are actually crimes. They either aren't illegal (i.e. the identity theft) or don't match the statute at all. There's a really, really good chance that the DA is going to look at things, realize he doesn't have a case, and drop all charges. However, he was willing to let me sit in jail for weeks (or months) until he made up his mind to do so all because he hadn't even looked at the case until 5 minutes before my hearing.
You really, really should ask Tube to delete this thread. It is already google indexed and public / easily searchable as hell. But at least get rid of the primary source online.
You have a crazy ex who already has a history of using online shit against you. And a fuckwitted DA who will find some way to use this post against you. There is abolutely no upside for you to having this post here in public (and the PA forums are indexed and as public as you could possibly imagine)
Yuuuuuuup.
I'm not overly worried. I've given away no personal information and certainly no information about the crazy ex that could lead anyone here back to her. While I am a bit critical of the DA in the case I don't have anything against him personally. It's more that I'm critical of the legal system as a whole because I got to see first hand what can happen to someone.
It's more than just my case. I met people in jail who were on parole and got violated for stupid stuff. Take the case of one guy I was in jail with:
He did 18 years for some crime. He didn't say what it was and I didn't ask. Since then he's totally turned his life around. Started his own successful business, gotten married, had a kid (who is now a teenager), etc... but he was still on probation/parole/whatever, even though it was ending within the year. His adult step-son is a fuckwit who was mentally unstable. The stepson threatened to commit suicide and had a gun in his house. The dude's (guy I was in jail with) wife went over to her son's house, removed the gun, and took it to her house. The son, being a fuckwit, called the cops and reported that his step-father who wasn't supposed to have a gun had a gun in the house. Technically that violated his parole and he was sentenced to 10 months or something like that. All because his wife was trying to keep her fuckwit son from doing something dangerous. Nicest guy in the world and now his life is screwed up again.
I guess it's true what they say, once you're in the system it's really easy to stay in the system.
***Edit***
Obviously if Tube wants to delete it, that's fine. I was hoping that my personal story would be a good branching out point for the discussion of the legal system as a whole.
A lot of those "nice guys" you met in jail wouldn't be in jail if they had kept their mouths shut with the cops and DA.
Basicially, this is exactly equivalent to talking to the cops or DA without your lawyer present. Get this shit resolved then regale us with the amusing tale.
You want examples? Watch this YouTubery and tell me it isn't scary. It's quite possibly the most useful information available on youtube, take the hour and watch it.