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the strangest thing you have witnessed

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    FalxFalx Registered User regular
    My Korean boy band will be called A2M.

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    Caulk Bite 6Caulk Bite 6 One of the multitude of Dans infesting this place Registered User regular
    Your nickname will be "Poopbreath".

    jnij103vqi2i.png
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    GoatmonGoatmon Companion of Kess Registered User regular
    I just remembered I have a pretty funny but weird story from the apartment I used to live in.

    One night, I was just doing my thing on the computer when I kept having to listen to this very loud music from my next door neighbor's. I went over and rapped on the wall a couple times, only to hear a weird "RABBLERAGGLEAASGASG" noise from their apartment. It was like drunken Popeye, or something. I didn't wanna know what that guy's deal is, so I let it go for the moment.

    I went back to doing my thing, the music continued. Eventually I went over and tapped on the wall again, and was given the same "RAESAGOSAEIGUPSAEOI" noise in response.

    A little while later there is a knock at my door. I am greeted by a pretty average looking young man and woman.

    The man asks "Hey, was that you banging on the wall?"

    "Yeah, your music was really loud."

    "See honey, I told you it was too loud."

    She responds with "RABBLEAFGAOGOASEIGS"

    I am completely dumbfounded, but manage to keep a straight face until they say goodbye and I shut the door and then nearly fall over laughing.

    Switch Friend Code: SW-6680-6709-4204


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    FalxFalx Registered User regular
    that's 똥 숨결 to you, sir

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    KochikensKochikens Registered User regular
    Oh hey here's a strange thing

    Turns out Pepto-Bismol can potentially turn your tongue black

    Guess who woke up and nearly had a heart attack this morning when she brushed her teeth

    (it's me)

    warning
    it also turns your poop black
    so dont be shocked

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    Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    I seriously brushed the SHIT out of my teeth and tongue and then ran to google thinking I had fucking... I don't know, "drank four beers and a margarita" induced plague.

    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
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    DrCongoDrCongo Registered User, ClubPA regular
    This happened back in the early 80s. I was ten years old or so. We had an arts and crafts (or whatever you call it) class at school, where we made all kinds of stuff out of wood/metal/etc, and I went to the tool cabinet to get a chisel. The tool cabinet had wooden doors; this is essential.

    At this point I will tell you that the current craze with the boys in our class (the girls were in another classroom sewing or some shit) was to cut these ninja throwing stars out of an aluminium plate some 1-2mm thick. Yes, unsafe and idiotic.

    So I'm standing at the tool cabinet, both the wooden doors open at an approx. 90 degree angle. And the doors reach from the floor to way above my head so if you're at the other side of the door you can't really see that I'm there.

    I take the chisel. For some reason, I hold it by the blade and not by the wooden handle. I kind of turn toward one of the doors, holding the chisel - by the blade - pretty much upright in front of my face. I close the door.

    At the same moment, a classmate at the other end of the classroom has decided to throw a ninja star at the wooden door. Which I have just closed. So, I see the star fly straight towards me REAL REAL FAST, and THWACK plunge into the wooden handle of the chisel. In front of my face. We just stare at each other for a while, dunno which one of us was more wide-eyed.

    So basically, I'm happy I'm currently not blind in one eye, dead, or hideously maimed in the face :)

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    Crimson KingCrimson King Registered User regular
    theSquid wrote: »
    I did call centre work for a good while and have repressed most of the more horrible bullshit I've come across but I remember this story because the guy in question wasn't actually an arsehole, it was just a bit of an odd call.

    Right so I was working for Panasonic and the centre was pretty small, and serviced the whole country for every product including in this case aircon units.

    I get this Queensland bogan who goes "yeah so I got back from work all fucken pissed and the air con wasn't working so I got the shits got into me ute and drove into the outdoor unit, smashed it to bits. Don't suppose that comes under warranty?"
    "Yeah nah I'm thinking you're gonna have to pay for a new one."
    "Yeah fair enough do what you have to do."

    fucking queenslanders

    listen you gotta give him some credit for owning up to his mistakes

    queensland bogans are a pretty friendly bunch when they're not out bashing cunts

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    Crimson KingCrimson King Registered User regular
    edited August 2012
    so as not to waste this double post i will try to think up another good queensland bogan story, as per beasteh's request

    Crimson King on
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    FalxFalx Registered User regular
    DrCongo wrote: »
    This happened back in the early 80s. I was ten years old or so. We had an arts and crafts (or whatever you call it) class at school, where we made all kinds of stuff out of wood/metal/etc, and I went to the tool cabinet to get a chisel. The tool cabinet had wooden doors; this is essential.

    At this point I will tell you that the current craze with the boys in our class (the girls were in another classroom sewing or some shit) was to cut these ninja throwing stars out of an aluminium plate some 1-2mm thick. Yes, unsafe and idiotic.

    So I'm standing at the tool cabinet, both the wooden doors open at an approx. 90 degree angle. And the doors reach from the floor to way above my head so if you're at the other side of the door you can't really see that I'm there.

    I take the chisel. For some reason, I hold it by the blade and not by the wooden handle. I kind of turn toward one of the doors, holding the chisel - by the blade - pretty much upright in front of my face. I close the door.

    At the same moment, a classmate at the other end of the classroom has decided to throw a ninja star at the wooden door. Which I have just closed. So, I see the star fly straight towards me REAL REAL FAST, and THWACK plunge into the wooden handle of the chisel. In front of my face. We just stare at each other for a while, dunno which one of us was more wide-eyed.

    So basically, I'm happy I'm currently not blind in one eye, dead, or hideously maimed in the face :)

    Almost this exact thing happened to a friend of mine, except they were using the table mounted grinder to fling bolts across the room. One went flying at a funny angle and dented a plate of steel that he just happened to be holding up at about face height for reasons I forget.

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    PaperLuigi44PaperLuigi44 My amazement is at maximum capacity. Registered User regular
    Beasteh wrote: »
    theSquid wrote: »
    I did call centre work for a good while and have repressed most of the more horrible bullshit I've come across but I remember this story because the guy in question wasn't actually an arsehole, it was just a bit of an odd call.

    Right so I was working for Panasonic and the centre was pretty small, and serviced the whole country for every product including in this case aircon units.

    I get this Queensland bogan who goes "yeah so I got back from work all fucken pissed and the air con wasn't working so I got the shits got into me ute and drove into the outdoor unit, smashed it to bits. Don't suppose that comes under warranty?"
    "Yeah nah I'm thinking you're gonna have to pay for a new one."
    "Yeah fair enough do what you have to do."

    fucking queenslanders

    i need to hear more stories about shitty aussie customers with as much lingo as possible

    i need this

    A colleague served them but we had to deal with a distraught family that had bought a 360 from another store that had been repacked.

    They could tell because there was a profile already on it.

    With a penis as the dashboard background.

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    PaperLuigi44PaperLuigi44 My amazement is at maximum capacity. Registered User regular
    Lingo costs extra.

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    BeastehBeasteh THAT WOULD NOT KILL DRACULARegistered User regular
    not even calling the penis a cockswozzler?

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    PaperLuigi44PaperLuigi44 My amazement is at maximum capacity. Registered User regular
    Beasteh wrote: »
    not even calling the penis a cockswozzler?

    For you, Beasteh, I will call it a 'meat and two veg'.

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    BeastehBeasteh THAT WOULD NOT KILL DRACULARegistered User regular
    acceptable

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    Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    I don't want to be rude but what kind of veg are you eating in Australia that looks like that?

    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
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    OdenOden Registered User regular
    sweet potato

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    PaperLuigi44PaperLuigi44 My amazement is at maximum capacity. Registered User regular
    I don't want to be rude but what kind of veg are you eating in Australia that looks like that?

    Brussels sprout is what I assume it refers to

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    Blake TBlake T Do you have enemies then? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered User regular
    Potatoes.

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    Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    I guess I could kind of see maybe potatoes.

    Like, new potatoes or red skins maybe.

    But brussel sprouts are green and that makes me feel like maybe you should go to a doctor immediately.

    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
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    Blake TBlake T Do you have enemies then? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered User regular
    My balls look like a pair of radishes.

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    Blake TBlake T Do you have enemies then? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered User regular
    It looks like a Parsnip and a squash!

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    Blake TBlake T Do you have enemies then? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered User regular
    It looks like a tomato!

    That's a fruit not a vegetable.

    Then what's attached to my penis?

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    PaperLuigi44PaperLuigi44 My amazement is at maximum capacity. Registered User regular
    Potatoes go better with sausages so that makes more sense

    And people think the internet isn't a learning environment

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    NerdgasmicNerdgasmic __BANNED USERS regular
    I would rather have some pan fried brussels sprouts with my sausage

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    Blake TBlake T Do you have enemies then? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered User regular
    Your penis looks like a burst sausage and a large serving of mash.

    Served with, gravy.

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    Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    As long as it doesn't look like bitter melon.

    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
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    Crimson KingCrimson King Registered User regular
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    Crimson KingCrimson King Registered User regular
    two peas and a string bean

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    Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    Huitlacoche

    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
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    Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    Okay having posted that I kind of want to throw up at the visual

    Hoisted by my own produce petard

    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
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    Crimson KingCrimson King Registered User regular
    sandra

    why

    why, sandra, why

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    Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    I am so sorry.

    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
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    BeastehBeasteh THAT WOULD NOT KILL DRACULARegistered User regular
    my penis looks like one of those korean penis worms that happen to look like a penis

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    Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    Man, those worms.

    They do look a ton like swimmin' wangers.

    I hear they taste really awful.

    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
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    Blake TBlake T Do you have enemies then? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered User regular
    It's a penis that looks like a vagina.

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    AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    my penis looks like beasteh

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    JayKaosJayKaos Registered User regular
    Smart Hero wrote: »
    my penis looks like beasteh

    I'm so sorry.

    Steam | SW-0844-0908-6004 and my Switch code
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    BerkBerk THE BUDGIE SMUGGLER Registered User regular
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    NerdgasmicNerdgasmic __BANNED USERS regular
    How I Wish For A Quick Death. Videdo gmaes

This discussion has been closed.