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Always wear clean underpants...
Bingo
Registered User
Registered User
... is a bit of advice my grandmother (93 this Saturday) gave me.
I think if I was to be hit by a bus, the fact that my boxer-shorts were clean is pretty irrelavent. "Don't get caught dead with dirty underwear".
Anyway, this got me thinking. Axioms. Stuff we live by and say "Yeah, you know what you just did there? Don't do that."..
Here are some of mine:
* Never light incense-sticks to get rid of the smell of gas.
* Kids can reach anything, make sure that the handles of pans on the stove are as inward as possible.
* Never serve Spaghetti Bolognese if your date is going to wear white.
* Masturbation isn't a crime (I bet Jesus did it too)
Anyone want to add?
I think if I was to be hit by a bus, the fact that my boxer-shorts were clean is pretty irrelavent. "Don't get caught dead with dirty underwear".
Anyway, this got me thinking. Axioms. Stuff we live by and say "Yeah, you know what you just did there? Don't do that."..
Here are some of mine:
* Never light incense-sticks to get rid of the smell of gas.
* Kids can reach anything, make sure that the handles of pans on the stove are as inward as possible.
* Never serve Spaghetti Bolognese if your date is going to wear white.
* Masturbation isn't a crime (I bet Jesus did it too)
Anyone want to add?
Hacksaw wrote:Defense: *plausable scenario #1*
Prosecution: *Plausable scenario #2*
Judge: Search your feelings for the truth.
Jury: Fucking hell, we're going to be here all night.
Bingo on
0
Posts
Anyway, one to add:
You never go ass-to-mouth. Never.
Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, it's forgivable to go ass to mouth.
YOU NEVER GO ASS TO MOUTH!!!
Did I do that right?
In many games, when you let go of your hand/piece, you can't take it back. I think that rhyme was made after the fact.
Never deposit cash in an ATM. It can be stolen and proof of the transaction won't be enough.
Also, for the love of God, CHECK THE PAYPHONE'S EARPIECE BEFORE YOU PUT IT TO YOUR HEAD. D:
No, seriously, you have no idea what you'd be getting yourself into by getting involved with one.
This also applies to any of my daughters who might turn out to be gay.
It's like in the Office, where the stripper says "Secret secrets help no one. Secret Secrets hurt someone."
While Ben Franklin says stuff about how telling his girlfriend what happened is just going to get her mad, and it really doesn't hurt anything that it happened.
Michael goes with the stripper's advice because it rhymes.
See, you've all encountered that guy. That guy who stands in line at the supermarket yaking on his bluetooth headset. That guy who changes lanes without signaling. That guy who stands right in front of the door at the restaurant to smoke. That guy is everywhere, you encounter him every day, and everybody hates that guy.
Don't be that guy.
That guy wears the band's t-shirt to their concerts.
Seriously though, that guy also has a mook friend, and walks around with that smug, self-satisfied look on his face because he thinks he's different. He also sticks it to "the man" every chance he gets, which usually means making some minimum-wage schlock work ten times harder to please them than anybody getting payed that little should ever have to.
X-Box Tag: PrettyGoodCake
PSN: LLatikuf
that is exactly how I live my life. it works in every situation.
You know, just in case.
Cheating on your girlfriend? - Dont be that guy.
Stealing something - Dont be that guy.
Seriously - That guy is a real dick.
That's awesome
I like that one for how it combines vagueness with uselessness while diminishing neither.
Do they not have forks where you go on dates?
Drunks Against Mad Mothers
Well, you also need a spoon.
At least, the only way I know to eat spaghetti neatly is with fork and spoon.
I only need the fork. If I'm lazy I can do some preliminary work with a knife to make it easier. I suppose it would depend on the viscosity of the sauce, though. If it's like red water, there's a problem, but then there's already a problem in that watery sauce is wrong.
Edit: And I could never figure how people manage to make such a mess of anything involving hot fudge or chocolate-sauce.
Drunks Against Mad Mothers
I have low dex >.>
Just as well, I had to pull from cha to make my dex.
Drunks Against Mad Mothers
Yes but the spaghetti stops me from talking, which is helpful.
Edit: I get chatty when I'm at all nervous.
Drunks Against Mad Mothers
I call them BMW guys, as in LA they 90% of the time turn out to drive BMWs.
Cat fails Reflex save
No, this isn't a forum full of geeks...
I'm personally surprised we HAVEN'T had a major accident in my house, with the number of knives my toddler has brought me off of counters I didn't think she could reach.
My favorite is "Housework is like sex -- it never stays done"
Oh would you grow up.
You scratch your head, your nose, then your ass. Not the other way around.
Also, pinch and roll.
3DS: 1521-4165-5907
PS3: KayleSolo
Live: Kayle Solo
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Don't eat the yellow snow.
They're tingly in an unpleasant fashion.
Es-annon NEVA 4GET
Hey! Fuck you!!
Even Batman?
I don't follow. Scratching something with your finger is completely different from putting you mouth on it.
Also, neatly eating spaghetti only requires a knife to chop it up, then a fork to eat it like it's normal pasta.