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Bullying

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  • BedigunzBedigunz Registered User regular
    I hate the people who bullied me.

    Not because they bullied me, but because they grew up to be horrible pieces of shit.

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  • GrisloGrislo Registered User regular
    We had a lovely incident in a class I teach a while back - and these are 'kids' in the 18+ range. One girl in the class' mother was terminally ill, fairly close to dying. She's sharing this with a group of the other girls in class. Their response: "ew, that's gross." Cue them actually picking on a girl for having a parent on death's door.

    So you can be picked on/bullied for any damn thing.

    In addition to seeing someone get picked on for something like that for the first time, it also happened to be the first time I really wished we hadn't gotten rid of teachers being allowed to slap the everloving shit out of students.

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  • BeastehBeasteh THAT WOULD NOT KILL DRACULARegistered User regular
    these people made my life hell for a good 3 years

    fuck forgiveness, they knew exactly what they were doing and only want to get the remorse off their ledger

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  • BeastehBeasteh THAT WOULD NOT KILL DRACULARegistered User regular
    and if you think this makes me a bad person: lol

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  • BeastehBeasteh THAT WOULD NOT KILL DRACULARegistered User regular
    i've forgotten their names and what they looked like i just remember what they said and did

    BlueBlue
  • SolarSolar Registered User regular
    I actively try not to hate the people that bullied me

    because, and this sounds very corny, but I don't want to get fixated on that period and twist myself up with anger about it

    It'd be easy to hate those people, but if you can give that hate up and forgive them and move on then I think that's the right thing to do

    and I'm not saying I've entirely managed to do that. I had a hard time off some people. But I do try.

  • EndEnd Registered User regular
    edited October 2012
    I got bullied a bit in kindergarten, but that was it.

    It probably discouraged me from trying to make friends early on, but after a few years I didn't seem to have much trouble making new friends.

    End on
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  • Peter EbelPeter Ebel CopenhagenRegistered User regular
    I got jumped at school by a bunch of guys once when I was a kid. They were a few years older. Now, what the fuck kinda shit lives were they living that they did that to me, and why the fuck didn't anyone ever do shit about it? These are questions I sometimes ponder.

    Fuck off and die.
  • SeriouslySeriously Registered User regular
    edited October 2012
    EDIT: I have a better idea

    Seriously on
  • MuzzmuzzMuzzmuzz Registered User regular
    Elementary school was horrible for me. This was the era when the kids told you "snitches get stiches", and my parents, and teachers told me "ignore them, they'll leave you alone". So, I had to find my own way of enduring it. Now I wasn't bullied in the way of "Give me your milk money, or you'll get a bloody nose" Since I was a chick, most of the bullying treatments were from the girls. And boy, are girls just as vicious as boys when it comes to bullying, albeit in a different type of way.

    Although, I probably didn't help my case with my extremely short hair, my hand me down clothes, my awkwardness, and my love of reading.

  • SolarSolar Registered User regular
    That said, at the school I volunteer at I do take instances of kids making other kids feel bad very seriously

    Though the amount that teachers can actually do about bullying is sadly very limited, simply because it's hard to catch it

  • Speed RacerSpeed Racer Scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratchRegistered User regular
    in middle school i made fun of one kid a lot for a time when i had to peer-review an essay he turned in and it was completely awful even by middle-school standards, like barely comprehensible

    and i jeered him a lot for it and in retrospect i was totally bullying him for it even though at the time I thought it was all in good fun

    i really wish i could run into him so that i could apologize about it, i've felt awful about it for years

  • BeastehBeasteh THAT WOULD NOT KILL DRACULARegistered User regular
    i was super skinny and dorky with bright white hair and a loud mouth

    pretty much perfect bullying material

  • Speed RacerSpeed Racer Scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratchRegistered User regular
    i got bullied a shit-ton in middle school

    by high school most of the people that bullied me had gotten shipped off to alternative school, and by sophomore year i didn't have any classes with the rest of the bullies because they were all in the dumb kid classes and i barely ever saw them

  • PentaghostPentaghost Registered User regular
    I had a relatively bully-free childhood, with the exception of one kid who gave me a hard time for a few months when I was 16, although it never became physical. It affected me quite profoundly at the time, though, and it got to the point where going to school every morning became incredibly stressful. Walking through the halls I'd be looking over my shoulders all the time and if I caught a glimpse of the bully it'd send me into a kind of internal panic. I wouldn't show anything on the outside, but on the inside I'd be freaking out.

    That only lasted a few months until he eventually dropped out. As bullying goes my experience was very minor so I can't even begin to imagine how Amanda Todd must have felt every single day. I read her story yesterday and watched her video on youtube, and I was in tears by the end of it. Granted, it doesn't take much to make me emotional, but it affected me far stronger than I expected it to and made me think long and hard about my own experiences with bullying. If I had to go through what she did, I really don't know where I'd be right now.

  • Shazkar ShadowstormShazkar Shadowstorm Registered User regular
    oh this isnt really bullying more like a kid being the worst and evil but in 2nd grade a kid smashed my face into the floor for no reason and broke my nose and its still all fucked up today even though i got surgery again when it was 18 and it hard to breathe out of my nose sometimes especially in the winter and it still looks crooked a bit
    and apparently according to my mom neither that kid nor his mom apologized

    i dunno, if i actually knew who he was anymore, i'd have to struggle not to be really mad because it has had a negative effect on my life for like 15 years or something

    i'd wanna punch him
    i wouldn't

    but i would want to

    poo
  • SeriouslySeriously Registered User regular
    I was a bully at a very young age

    or at least, a mean kid


    later other kids got fast and strong I turned out to be a scrawny nerd at which point as I sowed so to did I reap

  • Shazkar ShadowstormShazkar Shadowstorm Registered User regular
    i got kicked out of kindercare for biting but that doesn't count as anything i was like 3 or 4 years old

    poo
  • HyperAquaBlastHyperAquaBlast Registered User regular
    I have been bullied from middle school to my mid 20s. I can only think its because I look imposing and I have a angry tough guy face as I am told. Thing is I am very quiet and not a dick and like silly things so apparently I am great target.

    I have become more of guy who stands up for people the past couple of years. Actually this past week one of my guys has been getting shit on at work by a couple of dudes and I went to each one of them to reprimand them. I was pretty angry about their actions on Wednesday.

    Also going to come out and say it, I consider Druhim one of the bigger internet bullies in these parts to where I have had him on ignore since I have found the feature. I don't even like to post in threads I know he is involved in.

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  • MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    I grew up in an abusive household, so violence was practically a form of communication. I was pretty much both sides of the coin. I got bullied a lot because I was smaller than just about everyone else. Unfortunately, I responded with pretty much the maximum force you could muster as a kid, and usually bullying stopped in the first couple months of school. It didn't occur to me until much later that most of my friends were such because I was the lesser of two evils, or because they were just as used to abusive relationships as I was. Because your ability to care for people was expressed through controlling them, and it's only okay to hit someone under two circumstances: if they hit you first or if you care about them.

  • YessaYessa I think we're onto something Zach Registered User regular
    Unfortunately, essentially everyone I know was bullied at some point or another, but all of us had differing experiences. Certainly, none of us actively remember the people who bullied us, but certain events and ideas do linger. There was a certain point in my life where bullies at school just became more of an amusing annoyance of people who thought they were smart in coming up with stupid ways to attempt to hurt others. Elementary school and middle school were for the most part the only times I ended up with being physically bullied, and by the time I got to high school it was mostly just something about me killing myself and jabs about my appearance. Yeah, real creative guys. Their attempts get laughable because they honestly want a reaction from someone, but they were using things that would only seem like a burn to an elementary school student.

    Only a few things ever really stuck with me, but I certainly wouldn't forgive a bully. I just wouldn't care about them. There's a line of being a dumb kid and being an outright bad person though, and I've known several people who very much crossed that. Mostly people who try to kill you.

    I think I was bullied for being small and already having shitty stuff going on in my life. I didn't have friends in the first place, and I didn't speak, and I guess maybe people thought I was purposely ignoring them. If I mentioned things to my mum, she'd just mention something about me seeming uppity to them. I've always wondered if people looked at me and thought there was something wrong with me, as well, and some things my friends have said seem to sort of. Corroborate that idea. I was certainly bullied though because of my apathy towards basically everything, probably caused by depression. Usually my friends that were bullied the worse also had really shitty home lives as well, which sucks sometimes, because it's just another shitty layer on top of an already bad life.

    My little sister is going to the same middle school I went to right now, and sometimes I compare the sort of lives that we had around that. She's bullied, but in a very very roundabout way. People sort of refuse to let her around them, but she's so tall and confident in a way that anything else they ever try just ends in them horribly intimidated. I think it's partly because my old middle school really did step up on some of its bullying measures, and partly because my sister and I ended up with extraordinarily different childhoods.

  • DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Beasteh wrote: »
    and if you think this makes me a bad person: lol

    It's not about being a bad person. It's about being healthy and not continuing to hurt yourself.

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  • BeastehBeasteh THAT WOULD NOT KILL DRACULARegistered User regular
    sure

  • PentaghostPentaghost Registered User regular
    Or you could just get over it, move on and not forgive them.

  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    the best way to get over things and move past them is to forgive the people involved

    resentment is a poison

    Druhim
  • ZibblsnrtZibblsnrt Registered User regular
    Grislo wrote: »
    We had a lovely incident in a class I teach a while back - and these are 'kids' in the 18+ range. One girl in the class' mother was terminally ill, fairly close to dying. She's sharing this with a group of the other girls in class. Their response: "ew, that's gross." Cue them actually picking on a girl for having a parent on death's door.

    ...Even by the standards, goddamn.

    Legba
  • Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Beasteh wrote: »
    i was super skinny and dorky with bright white hair and a loud mouth

    pretty much perfect bullying material

    Skinny with white hair is not perfect bullying material.

    That would be fat and ginger.

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  • WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    Couple of years ago I was going to a voluntary substance abuse support thing twice a week for my boozing, and this one lady their tried to make fun of me because, unlike many people there, I can read out loud without tripping all over my words.

    Gave her the ol' "Hey, maybe if you'd have paid attention in school you wouldn't be in a half-way house right now."

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  • MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    Weaver wrote: »
    Couple of years ago I was going to a voluntary substance abuse support thing twice a week for my boozing, and this one lady their tried to make fun of me because, unlike many people there, I can read out loud without tripping all over my words.

    Gave her the ol' "Hey, maybe if you'd have paid attention in school you wouldn't be in a half-way house right now."

    I went to job corps, where this was a common thing.

    A common thing among people trying to educate themselves and get jobs.

  • UsagiUsagi Nah Registered User regular
    In middle school I was befriended and then ostracized from a group of girls who then made it their goal to torture me with insults, fucking with my locker/books, stealing my stuff, stealing school property and hiding it on my person/in my bag/locker, lying to the teachers that I was hurting them, lying to other students that I was spreading rumors about them, etc. etc.

    Teachers did nothing, parents said to just ignore them, nobody held them accountable even if they noticed what they were doing. So I spent two years eating lunch in the bathroom, carrying all of my stuff with me, hiding from them and hating myself, wondering if I changed something if they would just stop.

    I don't know what I would do if I was a kid now because I know they would have been using the internet to keep going. I think the only reason I didn't hurt myself was because it stopped as soon as I went home, if I had to keep dealing with it 24/7 I just don't know if I would have come out the other side.

  • ArangArang Registered User regular
    I ignored bullies all through middle school, until the point where it actually stopped bothering me

    then one day on the bus a guy moved up and at across from me, and when I got up to get off he grabbed hold of a strap that was on my backpack and held onto it, which was a totally new experience because nothing physical had ever happened before

    anyway, I looked at him and said "let go", and he smiled this smug smile and said "no"

    so I backhanded him in the face and he let go, and I got off the bus and never really saw or heard from him again


    I guess either way works, but damn if I don't wish younger me had thought to try that three years earlier

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  • LegbaLegba Registered User regular
    the best way to get over things and move past them is to forgive the people involved

    resentment is a poison

    I'd say the best way to get over things is to move past them. Move on to other things. Find out what you love doing, focus on that, and leave the people who'd keep you down behind. Forgiveness might not come, but eventually you just forget about the people involved, and that's just as good.

    Beasteh
  • Indie WinterIndie Winter die Krähe Rudi Hurzlmeier (German, b. 1952)Registered User regular
    edited October 2012
    omg so many terrible threads going on these last few days

    edit: not terribly made, just the contents are extremely depressing

    ok, and a few terribly made ones

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  • HellaJeffHellaJeff FAB FRESH RAIIINBOOWWWWWRegistered User regular
    I used to come home with bloody shins so yeah I know how y'all feel

  • MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    Arang wrote: »
    I ignored bullies all through middle school, until the point where it actually stopped bothering me

    then one day on the bus a guy moved up and at across from me, and when I got up to get off he grabbed hold of a strap that was on my backpack and held onto it, which was a totally new experience because nothing physical had ever happened before

    anyway, I looked at him and said "let go", and he smiled this smug smile and said "no"

    so I backhanded him in the face and he let go, and I got off the bus and never really saw or heard from him again


    I guess either way works, but damn if I don't wish younger me had thought to try that three years earlier

    I have the feeling that you actually did better for yourself by not resorting to violence immediately.

    Druhim
  • BeastehBeasteh THAT WOULD NOT KILL DRACULARegistered User regular
    i got in fights after people found out my mum was dead

  • Indie WinterIndie Winter die Krähe Rudi Hurzlmeier (German, b. 1952)Registered User regular
    kids are dicks

    adults are dicks too, but

    with kids and when you're a kid it's way worse

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  • BusterKBusterK Negativity is Boring Cynicism is Cowardice Registered User regular
    Growing up a weak, nerdy kid and growing up to be a teacher of all ages
    I've seen a lot of the way kids interact with each other
    I can say plainly anyone who thinks the subject of bullying is simple and easily recognizable has their head up their ass
    Almost all the bullies I've seen were bullied themselves at one point
    The same anger and helplessness came out as violence directed outside
    It's a culture that needs to be corrected more than any individual
    At the same time a lot of what might seem like bullying actually does turn into healthy relationships between kids because the only way they can interact is in small bits of emotional violence
    It's for these reasons I don't agree with set laws about bullying when what's really required are people who are trained to recognize it, can separate it from how kids normally interact (which yes can be very hard to determine before its too late) and have the will to step in and stop it.
    It's harder yes, but laws about bullying to me seem like laws about teaching
    Every situation is too individualized to have just one solution

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  • Binary SquidBinary Squid We all make choices Registered User regular
    Fandyien wrote: »
    i dunno i just feel like social pressure manifests itself in different ways and that's not always inherently bad

    At least you admit to wanting your cake while at the same time eating it. The problem isn't just that your determination of who to bully might be wrong, it's that by bullying you legitimize all forms of it.

    There are tons of absolute shitheels that engage in "good" bullying, because they enjoy bullying and belittling others and they can congratulate themselves that they're on the 'right' side. They're still the same terrible human beings, they've just found a way to bully in a relatively consequence free manner.

    Look at anonymous and some of the supposed 'helpful' shit they've done. Using bullying tactics to force your will on someone else destroys any possible positive things that might have come from it.

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  • DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    You make some excellent points, buster. It is a complex issue that unfortunately does tend to get oversimplified.

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