Bullying

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  • King RiptorKing Riptor Registered User regular
    Bedigunz wrote: »
    Drew are you from Marshalltown?

    And I know there are some parents on here, so what would you guys do if you found out your kid was bullying people in the extreme ways we hear about it on the news?

    I would explain to him that he is in fact being a prick and eventually he will get shot by one of the kids he's been terrorizing.

    I have a podcast now. It's about video games and anime!Find it here.
  • Blake TBlake T Registered User regular
    Well I finally got an apology from a guy that was the ring leader of the group that had a go at me at from the ages of six to eighteen. Feels weird.

    Don't blame you for feeling weird.

    Remember its your choice if you want to forgive him or not.

    Legba
  • PixelMonkeyPixelMonkey Registered User regular
    edited October 2012
    Blake T wrote: »
    Well I finally got an apology from a guy that was the ring leader of the group that had a go at me at from the ages of six to eighteen. Feels weird.

    Don't blame you for feeling weird.

    Remember its your choice if you want to forgive him or not.

    I don 't know best way to describe it, is a hollow feeling almost mixed with relief.

    PixelMonkey on
  • Blake TBlake T Registered User regular
    Well relief is still good.

    Maybe because you know it doesn't fix anything, but the recognition that he at the very least feels bad about it is validation of what you yourself went through.

    Druhim
  • FencingsaxFencingsax It is difficult to get a man to understand, when his salary depends upon his not understanding GNU Terry PratchettRegistered User regular
    I wasn't a bully, but I was that guy in class who answered all the questions and was loud and obnoxious. I remember being a jackass to some of my classmates in elementary school, but I don't really remember it being a sustained thing. I really hope it wasn't, but I don't remember.

    torchlight-sig-80.jpg
  • GoatmonGoatmon Property of Amara_P Registered User regular
    edited October 2012
    Hacksaw wrote: »
    Ugh, fuck bullies. Pretty much all my personality problems can be traced back to the peer abuse I suffered throughout my time in primary school, both physical and emotional. The worst part is that I remember it all--every single thing. All the stuff they stole, all the things they called me, all the places they hit me and the scars they left. I remember their faces. I remember their names. I remember fucking everything. And you know what the shittiest part of it all is? I still get torn up inside thinking about it. I won't even ask my sister how her son is doing in school because I don't want to hear about any incidents of bullying that come up, be he the receiver or the dealer. I can't even watch films or TV shows that in any way depict bullying in a realistic manner; I start shaking uncontrollably, get angry as fuck, have to fight like goddamn sonofabitch to keep from flying into a rage-blinded fury and just start breaking stuff.

    But I take comfort in knowing they can't hurt me anymore. They can't call me weak, because I'm stronger than them. They can't call me stupid, because I'm smarter than them. They can't even call me short, because I outgrew them all. And best of all, they can't ever fuck with me again, because I don't stand for that shit anymore. I'm nobody's doormat, and I'm especially nobody's bitch. It's a good feeling when you know you'll never have to kowtow to the fuckheads who made your growing up years a living Hell. Doubly good when you see what most of them have amounted to and you can fucking laugh at them for it. Karma's a right bitch.

    I have had similar breakthroughs with the bully I dealt with as a child. Unfortunately, that bully is my father.

    I will, in all likelyhood, never have any sort of reconciliation with him, despite all of the baggage I have been carrying after living alone with him for seven years, after all the things he said and did, things he still continues to do to anyone who will listen. It hurts to know I will never have a health relationship with him, but the kind of conversation I really want to have with him is never going to happen, even if he was willing to see me.


    spoiler tag because this is a bit long.
    I should rewind a bit. My dad is a loudmouth, anti-social, racist, self-absorbed, sociopathic, bipolar, uneducated redneck prick. He was, and always has been, the sort of man who never commanded respect, but instead demanded it, and he had all of the behavior problems you might associate with such a person. I spent seven years living with him alone, and moved out when I turned 18 in 2001. It took until 2008, another seven years later, for me to get over the majority of the baggage.

    The first year living with him was really the worst. Partially because of adapting to living with him, partially because sixth grade was hell on earth. Kids picked on me constantly, and I didn't have any ability to deal with it because I've never (To this day) been any good at tuning people out or ignoring annoying shit, yet apparently everyone thought I could "Just ignore them." and thought that if they repeated this to me enough I would eventually just "Get it" and stop feeling hurt and miserable every time kids said hurtful things, or my dad screamed mean spirited shit at me.

    Mostly, I think Dad just eventually realized that, for whatever reason, I was never going to be the kind of person he wanted. I was going to be a useless fat fuckup. I think he saw me as his failure, and felt very angry about it, which he took out on me. The fat thing really came as no surprise in hindsight, considering his method of keeping me under control. I was always ridiculously hyper, and Dad's methods of discipline left me extremely pent up and prone to doing destructive things at home and outside, which got even worse when he originally moved away. It was so bad that my mom couldn't deal with it and sent me to live with him, alone. His method of keeping me in line was to not let me leave the house for more than an hour a day, outside of school hours, and then he scratched his head when I became obsessed with the TV and computer and stopped wanting to go outside ever. All that fat just kinda came outta nowhere, huh?

    Seeing old pictures of me before I moved in with him is kinda funny, now. I was a fucking twig. Ah well.

    More than anything I get sad when I think about just how angry I was sometimes. I was just constantly bouncing between this cheerful upbeat kid who just wanted to make friends, and this violent mean spirited shit head that needed to take his anger out on things, be it objects or local animals. It was pretty awful, but thankfully I never went too far. Except with how I treated a dog my dad and I used to have. I really bullied that poor dog something awful. In hindsight I'm very glad the apartment management didn't let us keep him, because I was kind of a monster sometimes back then.

    It was really just about me being extremely sensitive, and reacting very strongly to being treated a certain way. And dear lord, it was awful. Every time I did I screwed something up at school, he'd grind me about it. I don't mean in a "Son, you can't keep doing this" way. That's more like a lecture. I'm talking about "What the fuck is wrong with you, you stupid mother fucker? You can't do shit right, blah blah etc." There was never a lecture with him that wasn't either him shouting insults, or being extremely condescending.

    And he would just conjure up reasons to be mad at me. Once when washing my hands after using the bathroom before going to bed, I hear "What are you doing, brushing your teeth, at 10:20 at night?"

    I go "Uh, I'm washing my hands."

    seconds later

    "...what are you doing, washing your hands, at 10:20 at night?"

    If you know how to respond to a question that's followed by an answer to the god damned question you were just asked, please let me 12 year old me know, because I was fucking clueless.

    There was an incident where I was given money to buy something at the store and spent fifty cents of the change on gum. I knew I wasn't supposed to, but I did it anyway. When I didn't have all of his change, I ended up on the floor, curled up, while he kicked me in the chest, screaming "WHERE IS MY GOD DAMN CHANGE?!"

    Once he gave me a $20 so I could go rent a movie at blockbuster, and I ended up losing the bill. I was so scared to go home and face him I was literally, 100% crying my eyes out.

    And the thing is, I could forgive him for this. All of this. If he would just talk to me. And you know what I got from him?

    Three years ago, after calling him and emailng him a bunch of times to try and get ahold of him to have a proper talk with him, I get this in my inbox.
    Danile,
    Stop calling, I have zero desire to talk to you.
    If and when you are supporting yourself we can talk , until then DON"T BOTHER ME!!!

    ...he didn't even spell my name right.

    I responded, in so many words, by telling him he was full of shit and I deserved better than that. I ended the response by saying that, as much as I may drive my mom and my sisters' crazy, at least they can stand to be around me.

    Then I get this.
    You're funny!! You're still a no good son of a bitch. They want to be around you, yeah right !
    you live in a dream world. I don't give a damn what you or anybody else thinks about me you stupid bastard.
    you'll find out how much they love to be around you when you're mom dies.

    A little part of me died, right there.

    I said a few more words to him after that, and thankfully managed to keep it calm and rational, rather than just resorting to stupid name calling. But I never heard from him again after that, which is just as well, as I basically told him to fuck off, and that he wasn't worth sucking up to just to bask in his asshole presence and be treated like shit all over again. That whole conversation became hilarious a few minutes later, however, when I realized that it was father's day.

    Since then, I learned that I wasn't even the first person that he stopped talking to. He quit talking to Michelle, the middle kid of my family, because she temporarily quit her job while living in New York. That's literally all. The guy is fucking nuts.

    Of course, now that she's got a daughter who's half black... ho boy. Tracy, the oldest, got an email from him saying that "I'll never be able to get over that I have a (N-word) for a granddaughter." Nevermind that she's cute as hell, and the smartest little tyke I've ever seen. Apparently this was his excuse to stop talking to Tracy as well, for some reason.

    I think he has, quite seriously, lost his mind. But everything that's wrong with him now is all self inflicted. He spent his whole life pushing everyone away and only worrying about taking care of his own shit, and now he's got a big fancy house in myrtle beach at the other end of the country and nobody to share it with.

    Except his sister, Lib. She's the only one from his original family that's still alive. She has a husband, Rick, who is hilarious, and a really great guy. When they visit he stays at the hotel because he can't stand my Dad.

    I wish I could say I was surprised when I heard what he said to my sisters after finding out about Michelle's kid. I really do. But nothing he says surprises me anymore.I would love to have a proper 1-1 talk with him about how I feel about everything. But he straight-up doesn't care. He apparently feels no guilt about all of it, nor feels any reason to be nice or respectful to me or my sisters. I want to feel bad for him, but I can't really bring myself to do it. I don't wish anything bad on him, in spite of it all. Really, all I want is for him to stop being crazy and just be my dad. :(

    I kind of need a hug, now.

    Goatmon on
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  • godmodegodmode Southeast JapanRegistered User regular
    Goatmon wrote: »
    Hacksaw wrote: »
    Ugh, fuck bullies. Pretty much all my personality problems can be traced back to the peer abuse I suffered throughout my time in primary school, both physical and emotional. The worst part is that I remember it all--every single thing. All the stuff they stole, all the things they called me, all the places they hit me and the scars they left. I remember their faces. I remember their names. I remember fucking everything. And you know what the shittiest part of it all is? I still get torn up inside thinking about it. I won't even ask my sister how her son is doing in school because I don't want to hear about any incidents of bullying that come up, be he the receiver or the dealer. I can't even watch films or TV shows that in any way depict bullying in a realistic manner; I start shaking uncontrollably, get angry as fuck, have to fight like goddamn sonofabitch to keep from flying into a rage-blinded fury and just start breaking stuff.

    But I take comfort in knowing they can't hurt me anymore. They can't call me weak, because I'm stronger than them. They can't call me stupid, because I'm smarter than them. They can't even call me short, because I outgrew them all. And best of all, they can't ever fuck with me again, because I don't stand for that shit anymore. I'm nobody's doormat, and I'm especially nobody's bitch. It's a good feeling when you know you'll never have to kowtow to the fuckheads who made your growing up years a living Hell. Doubly good when you see what most of them have amounted to and you can fucking laugh at them for it. Karma's a right bitch.

    I have had similar breakthroughs with the bully I dealt with as a child. Unfortunately, that bully is my father.

    I will, in all likelyhood, never have any sort of reconciliation with him, despite all of the baggage I have been carrying after living alone with him for seven years, after all the things he said and did, things he still continues to do to anyone who will listen. It hurts to know I will never have a health relationship with him, but the kind of conversation I really want to have with him is never going to happen, even if he was willing to see me.


    spoiler tag because this is a bit long.
    I should rewind a bit. My dad is a loudmouth, anti-social, racist, self-absorbed, sociopathic, bipolar, uneducated redneck prick. He was, and always has been, the sort of man who never commanded respect, but instead demanded it, and all of the behavior problems you might associate with such a person. I spent seven years living with him alone, and moved out when I turned 18 in 2001. It took until 2008, another seven years later, for me to get over the majority of the baggage.

    The first year living with him was really the worst. Partially because of adapting to living with him, partially because sixth grade was hell on earth. Kids picked on me constantly, and I didn't have any ability to deal with it because I've never (To this day) been any good at tuning people out or ignoring annoying shit, yet apparently everyone thought I could "Just ignore them." and thought that if they repeated this to me enough I would eventually just "Get it" and stop feeling hurt and miserable every time kids said hurtful things, or my dad screamed mean spirited shit at me.

    Mostly, I think Dad just eventually realized that, for whatever reason, I was never going to be the kind of person he wanted. I was going to be fat fuckup. I think he saw me as his failure, and felt very angry about it, which he took out on me. The fat thing really came as no surprise in hindsight, considering his method of keeping me under control (Because I was ridiculously hyper, and Dad's methods of discipline left me extremely pent up and prone to doing destructive things at home and outside) was to not let me leave the house for more than an hour a day, outside of school hours, and then scratched his head when I became obsessed with the TV and computer and stopped wanting to go outside ever. All that fat just kinda came outta nowhere, huh?

    Seeing old pictures of me before I moved in with him is kinda funny, now. I was a fucking twig. Ah well.

    More than anything I get sad when I think about just how angry I was sometimes. I was just constantly bouncing between this cheerful upbeat attitude, and this violent mean spirited shit head that needed to take his anger out on things, be it objects or local animals. It was pretty awful, but thankfully I never went too far. Except with how I treated a dog my dad and I used to have. I really bullied that poor dog something awful. In hindsight I'm very glad the apartment management didn't let us keep him, because I was kind of a monster sometimes back then.

    It was really just about me being extremely sensitive, and reacting very strongly to being treated a certain way. And dear lord, it was awful. Every time I did I screwed something up at school, he'd grind me about it. I don't mean in a "Son, you can't keep doing this" way. That's more like a lecture. I'm talking about "What the fuck is wrong with you, you stupid mother fucker? You can't do shit right, blah blah etc." There was never a lecture with him that wasn't either him screaming, or being extremely condescending.

    And he would just conjure up reasons to be mad at me. Once when washing my hands after using the bathroom before going to bed, I hear "What are you doing, brushing your hands, at 10:20 at night?"

    I go "Uh, I'm washing my hands."

    seconds later

    "...what are you doing, washing your hands, at 10:20 at night?"

    If you know how to respond to a question that's followed by an answer to the god damned question you were just asked, please let me 12 year old me know, because I was fucking clueless.

    There was an incident where I was given money to buy something at the store and spent fifty cents of the change on gum. I knew I wasn't supposed to, but I did it anyway. When I didn't have all of his change, I ended up on the floor, curled up, while he kicked me in the chest, screaming "WHERE IS MY GOD DAMN CHANGE?!"

    Once he gave me a $20 so I could go rent a movie at blockbuster, and I ended up losing the bill. I was so scared to go home and face him I was literally, 100% crying my eyes out.

    And the thing is, I could forgive him for this. All of this. If he would just talk to me. And you know what I got from him?

    Three years ago, after calling him and emailng him a bunch of times to try and get ahold of him to have a proper talk with him, I get this in my inbox.
    Danile,
    Stop calling, I have zero desire to talk to you.
    If and when you are supporting yourself we can talk , until then DON"T BOTHER ME!!!

    ...he didn't even spell my name right.

    I responded, in so many words, by telling him he was full of shit and I deserved better than that. I ended the response by saying that, as much as I may drive my mom and my sisters' crazy, at least they can stand to be around me.

    Then I get this.
    You're funny!! You're still a no good son of a bitch. They want to be around you, yeah right !
    you live in a dream world. I don't give a damn what you or anybody else thinks about me you stupid bastard.
    you'll find out how much they love to be around you when you're mom dies.

    A little part of me died, right there.

    I said a few more words to him after that, and thankfully managed to keep it calm and rational, rather than just resorting to stupid name calling. But I never heard from him again after that, which is just as well, as I basically told him to fuck off, and that he wasn't worth sucking up to just to bask in his asshole presence and be treated like shit all over again. That whole conversation became hilarious, however, when I realized a little while later that our "conversation" was taking place on father's day.

    Since then, I learned that I wasn't even the first person that he stopped talking to. He quit talking to Michelle, the middle kid of my family, because she temporarily quit her job while working in New York. That's literally all. The guy is fucking nuts.

    Of course, now that she's got a daughter who's half black... ho boy. Tracy, the oldest, got an email from him saying that "I'll never be able to get over that I have a (N-word) for a granddaughter." Apparently this was his excuse to stop talking to Tracy as well, for some reason.

    I think he has, quite seriously, lost his mind. But everything that's wrong with him now is all self inflicted. He spent his whole life pushing everyone away and only worrying about taking care of his own shit, and now he's got a big fancy house in myrtle beach at the other end of the country and nobody to share it with.

    Except his sister, Lib. She's the only one from his original family that's still alive. She has a husband, Rick, who is hilarious, and a really great guy. When they visit he stays at the hotel because he can't stand my Dad.

    I wish I could say I was surprised when I heard what he said to my sisters after finding out about Michelle's kid. I really do. But nothing he says surprises me anymore.I would love to have a proper 1-1 talk with him about how I feel about everything. But he straight-up doesn't care. He apparently feels no guilt about all of it, nor feels any reason to be nice or respectful to me or my sisters. I want to feel bad for him, but I can't really bring myself to do it. I don't wish anything bad on him, in spite of it all. Really, all I want is for him to stop being crazy and just be my dad. :(

    I kind of need a hug, now.

    Wow, goatmon...You deserve all kinds of hugs... :(

    WhytherSkeithLegbaDruhimFandyienShortyLord_SnotCalica
  • SolarSolar Registered User regular
    Goatman that sounds awful :(

  • Drew-BDrew-B Registered User regular
    Fuck.

    That's all kinds of awful, like unimaginably so.

    I hope you understand just how much your dad is the one with mad issues, not you, and that you're suffering the shitty consequences of him basically being awful.

    godmode
  • FencingsaxFencingsax It is difficult to get a man to understand, when his salary depends upon his not understanding GNU Terry PratchettRegistered User regular
    Man, goatmon, I understand the whole "ignore it and it'll go away" problem, but seriously. You survived some shit.

    torchlight-sig-80.jpg
  • Sara LynnSara Lynn Registered User regular
    edited October 2012
    I'm really sorry, Goatmon.

    While my father was/is not terrible in remotely the same way, we haven't spoken in like 7 years. There was a period in my life where I wanted closure. To ask him why he never cared about me, why he couldn't stop cheating on my mom, why he couldn't even remember how old I was. He is the type to deny everything until the end, so I don't see any point. I've completely let him go and I consider him completely dead to me. People like that will never change, for the most part, especially when they are older. Any change my father might have gone through is probably out of guilt/regret, which isn't genuine enough for me. He made his bed.

    I hope you can find peace with it all.

    Sara Lynn on
  • GoatmonGoatmon Property of Amara_P Registered User regular
    Honestly, after going through it all it doesn't really phase me that hard. After living with him I just kind of stopped really feeling it the way most people do. I suppose it's a defense mechanism; you learn ways to cope with pain, and sometimes it makes it hard to feel it like you should.

    It's just the end where I thought about what I really wanted out of him, that I really started to tear up while writing this.

    As mad as I am, I don't ultimately want to yell at him. I just want to sit down and hug him and tell him I love him in spite of everything, because he's my dad.

    But he doesn't want a hug. He wants to rot, alone, in his empty house.

    will_smith_fresh_prince_father_son_sculpture-223x300.jpg

    Switch Friend Code: SW-6680-6709-4204


  • TefTef Registered User regular
    That's is fucking terrible, goatmon and I'm sorry you had to deal with it. For what it's worth, I reckon you're a top bloke so that son of bitch didn't manage to crush you

    Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better

    bit.ly/2XQM1ke
  • GoatmonGoatmon Property of Amara_P Registered User regular
    edited October 2012
    All of that is also a big reason why I don't really get too worked up over most things.

    Kinda puts most everything else in perspective.

    However it also makes it kinda tense sometimes when dealing with my best friends fiancee, who is mega sensitive and flips out pretty hard at times.

    It's like "Damn woman, I only punched a hole in the door, why you trippin?"

    Goatmon on
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  • PixelMonkeyPixelMonkey Registered User regular
    edited October 2012
    Blake T wrote: »
    Well relief is still good.

    Maybe because you know it doesn't fix anything, but the recognition that he at the very least feels bad about it is validation of what you yourself went through.

    I know it doesn't fix everything and I said I accept his apology and I do want to forgive him but yeah he and his buddies they are a major source of the negative feelings of myself. The thing is I actually had a massive rant at him befor he said sorry. I was literally shaking with rage it all just came spilling out.

    PixelMonkey on
  • PixelMonkeyPixelMonkey Registered User regular
    Hugs Goatman.

  • Blake TBlake T Registered User regular
    That's good though. You faced him and told him what you thought.

    I mean, if it wasn't super emotional, that'd be weird.

    Good work.

    Druhim
  • GoatmonGoatmon Property of Amara_P Registered User regular
    edited October 2012
    <3 you guys.

    Goatmon on
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  • PixelMonkeyPixelMonkey Registered User regular
    Blake T wrote: »
    That's good though. You faced him and told him what you thought.

    I mean, if it wasn't super emotional, that'd be weird.

    Good work.
    Nah but it wasn't but I had to work really hard to keep my voice calm.

  • Blake TBlake T Registered User regular
    I would totally be a manta ray sneak up behind you goatmon and give you a big ok photobomb hug if I could.

    Goatmon
  • HarrierHarrier Registered User regular
    I don't like bullies. Something about a person with power using that power to make the lives of weaker people miserable makes me angry in a way nothing else does.

    And what really riles me is when a bully is allowed to get away with bullying. My friend in fifth grade got bullied, to the point where he was shoved into his locker in the hallway. Nobody else did anything, so I went to the teachers myself and got the bully in trouble. Because that's what you do, damn it.

    I don't wanna kill anybody. I don't like bullies. I don't care where they're from.
    Speed RacerLegbaGoatmon
  • King RiptorKing Riptor Registered User regular
    Bullying has escalated in the last twenty years. Bullies today are sadistic monsters in ways we can't really comprehend until kids start killing themselves.
    So why would a kid risk that ? They know that turning in a bully shifts the target.
    From their point of view its just not worth the risk.

    I have a podcast now. It's about video games and anime!Find it here.
  • TefTef Registered User regular
    I went and gave my old man a big ole hug just now. We had rough years from about the time I was 14 until I was about 21 but now we get on like a house on fire. I've been very fortunate in terms of having decent parents

    Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better

    bit.ly/2XQM1ke
  • Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    Dang, Goatmon.

    Just, dang.

  • Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    If we ever meet I am hugging you so much.

  • GoatmonGoatmon Property of Amara_P Registered User regular
    edited October 2012
    Harrier wrote: »
    I don't like bullies. Something about a person with power using that power to make the lives of weaker people miserable makes me angry in a way nothing else does.

    And what really riles me is when a bully is allowed to get away with bullying. My friend in fifth grade got bullied, to the point where he was shoved into his locker in the hallway. Nobody else did anything, so I went to the teachers myself and got the bully in trouble. Because that's what you do, damn it.

    Hell yes, dude. Good on you.


    Tef wrote: »
    That's is fucking terrible, goatmon and I'm sorry you had to deal with it. For what it's worth, I reckon you're a top bloke so that son of bitch didn't manage to crush you

    Thanks, dude. hi5.

    The plus side to being overweight, in addition to being 6'1" and having a full beard, is that nobody fucks with you, ever.

    Except that one looney guy on the bus, that one time.

    Like, I was chilling with a book when I suddenly hear, in this voice that sounded like a seriously drunken Tommy Chong, saying "FERDINAND. HEY FERDINAAAAND."

    I notice some bum dude looking toward me. I realize he's looking right at me.

    "YEAH I'm TALKING TO YOU FERDINAND. I'll KNOCK THOSE GLASSES RIGHT OFF YER FAAACE"

    And then he steps out and walks away.

    Some lady nearby goes "Oh don't mind him, he's just crazy."

    It was one of those moments that was just so weird and random that I couldn't even take offense to it.

    Goatmon on
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  • SolarSolar Registered User regular
    I had that happen to me before as well

    some dude just threatened to kick my ass at the bus stop

    and there was a couple of Pakistani dudes there who were just like "what the fuck is wrong with you? Fuck off."

    and he did and we were all "what the fuck was that then?"

  • King RiptorKing Riptor Registered User regular
    Solar wrote: »
    I had that happen to me before as well

    some dude just threatened to kick my ass at the bus stop

    and there was a couple of Pakistani dudes there who were just like "what the fuck is wrong with you? Fuck off."

    and he did and we were all "what the fuck was that then?"

    This happened to me once. Guy was massive and thought I had messed with his little brother. I literally never left the house after school at that point in my life so I pointed out the inaccuracy. Still yelled at me for a solid minute.

    Dude was so sorry afterward He invited me over to.his house and we played goldeneye.

    Mind you I was still terrified but I appreciated the gesture in hindsight.

    I have a podcast now. It's about video games and anime!Find it here.
  • TefTef Registered User regular
    The drugs, maybe?

    I have a Chinese-Malay mate and if we go out into the city, he'll get threatened probably 2 out of every 3 times. Some people are just wankers

    Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better

    bit.ly/2XQM1ke
  • GoatmonGoatmon Property of Amara_P Registered User regular
    Hah, Goldeneye.

    Good times.

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  • TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    Hey Goatmon, you're a good guy. I'm really sorry to hear about your horrible dad.

    I will gladly give you the biggest lift-you-off-the-ground bear hug. Nobody should have to deal with that as a kid.

  • GoatmonGoatmon Property of Amara_P Registered User regular
    edited October 2012
    Heh, I would be honestly impressed if you actually could remove me from the ground, momentarily.

    Goatmon on
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  • OghulkOghulk Registered User regular
    "you're so fun to mess with cause you take it so well" is something i've heard a lot

    i don't take condescension or "jokes" well so anytime it happens and i'm in a mood that's not slightly interested in that kind of talk i tend to shell up and repress any kind of emotion i have towards it and try to get a hold of or talk to two of my friends who kinda help me come back out of the shell

    thing was i was never really bullied by random kids growing up, i just got shit on by my friends, the people i wanted to be around, the people i felt close with, my dad (but that's a different case and a story for another time), so it always hurt a lot more cause there was always some truth lined to it all and, while i can handle straight honesty about something, i can't take the passive agressive condescending way that some people go about joking around

    i'm just a really sensitive person on the inside so it really isn't that surprising that i don't really value myself or have any confidence in my body or mental state when i spent my whole childhood growing up like this

  • TefTef Registered User regular
    Goatmon you ain't that big.

    Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better

    bit.ly/2XQM1ke
  • HugmasterGeneralHugmasterGeneral Registered User regular
    (This isn't to Goatmon, just in general)
    Just wanna say, if any of you have family you don't like, and you don't have a real reason to stay attached to them, quit worrying about them! Family means nothing if they ain't treat you right. It's just a person you share DNA with. Move away from them, cut off contact, it doesn't matter.

    There's such a full life of friends and new family out there waiting for you, you just have to find them.

    Goatmon
  • GoatmonGoatmon Property of Amara_P Registered User regular
    Big part of learning to overcome self loathing was learning to find things to like about myself, in spite of what I didn't like.

    That got a lot easier once I got into music, and found all kinds of fun things I could do.

    Switch Friend Code: SW-6680-6709-4204


  • TefTef Registered User regular
    Well that's probably a lot easier said than done, Ronnie

    Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better

    bit.ly/2XQM1ke
    Goatmon
  • GoatmonGoatmon Property of Amara_P Registered User regular
    edited October 2012
    Tef wrote: »
    Goatmon you ain't that big.

    Compared to what? :3

    Goatmon on
    Switch Friend Code: SW-6680-6709-4204


  • HugmasterGeneralHugmasterGeneral Registered User regular
    Tef wrote: »
    Well that's probably a lot easier said than done, Ronnie

    Everything's easier said than done. But sometimes you need someone to tell you that it's even possible.

  • Binary SquidBinary Squid We all make choices Registered User regular
    Goatmon wrote: »
    I wish I could say I was surprised when I heard what he said to my sisters after finding out about Michelle's kid. I really do. But nothing he says surprises me anymore.I would love to have a proper 1-1 talk with him about how I feel about everything. But he straight-up doesn't care. He apparently feels no guilt about all of it, nor feels any reason to be nice or respectful to me or my sisters. I want to feel bad for him, but I can't really bring myself to do it. I don't wish anything bad on him, in spite of it all. Really, all I want is for him to stop being crazy and just be my dad. :(

    I kind of need a hug, now.

    Good on you Goatmon. While you won't take that sort of behavior towards yourself, which is important, it ultimately didn't turn you into something like your dad is. I know it's tough and the gut response is wanting to bully the bully, but what you've done is to stop that terrible way of acting from spreading further. Not becoming a bully yourself is the strongest thing you could have done in response to his atrocious behavior.

    I'd hug ya dude if I could. Shit be rough sometimes.

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