So dates with two women have been going well. But at what point do you usually decide to pursue only one?
This is brand new territory since I've only dated one woman at a time before and I'm not sure what to do. What do you tell the one you are breaking it off with too?
So dates with two women have been going well. But at what point do you usually decide to pursue only one?
This is brand new territory since I've only dated one woman at a time before and I'm not sure what to do. What do you tell the one you are breaking it off with too?
This is more general dating and relationships, but it depends on what you're looking for in a relationship. It's a bigger question than "who do I like more," and it's very hard to give advice since it's so personal. My girlfriend says "as soon as you have sex with someone, you're serious," which isn't universal but she has a good point in that many people see sex as a serious emotional commitment. Similarly, it really shouldn't be a question of "pursue" so much as "who's a better fit." If you have to finagle dates and the general sense is that you're still testing the waters, you're not really serious -- you're still just dating. If you're actively seeking each other out and your larger worldviews/life paths seem to be compatible, then that's got potential.
Within the past week I've gotten my first reply and even my first message out of the blue. May not be much to the veterans, but it's pretty monumental for me.
So dates with two women have been going well. But at what point do you usually decide to pursue only one?
At the risk of sounding like a cad, I would continue dating both of them until I've popped the co-habitation question, and one accepted.
Well, I wouldn't actually wait quite that long, but the thought still stands. Do both girls want you as a boyfriend? If so, then sure, you need to choose. But if you aren't to that point yet, how do you know you'll even get to that point with even one of them?
And just to refute another comment above, girls can have sex without being serious. So don't use that as your decision point.
So wow - I got an unsolicited message the other day. But hey, the woman is 13 years older than me and looking only for a serious long term thing. So how about ... no?
I finally went out with that girl I talked to since last year. She's interesting, cute, and likes coffee.
I fully expect a second date by 2014.
Hmmm, How'd your big delay come around?
I had one I went out with last August and she just got crazy, crazy busy with work, but seemed genuinely interested in going out again. We stayed in contact for like 2 months before I let it drift off.
A mixture of her getting minor surgery, me changing jobs, and a lot of random delays on both our parts.
She texted me right after, so I take that as a good sign. I tentatively set up seeing a concert in a couple weeks, but I'm gonna try and set up an earlier date since we both haven't been to the city museum in a while.
This evening I'm going to bed and reading a book about a woman's experiences of internet dating. Which in my sulky mood sounds far more exciting than actually internet dating. I can't take many more bad messages!
Not a clue! Had a great time and we've been texting since the meet up but no idea when we'll meet again and if he's actually interested. I'm not sure if I'm still an emotional robot or not but I know he's not allowed to be one! So I'm trying to just see what happens. I've said I'd like to meet up again and left the ball in his court. Every day I swear at my phone a little bit more when he texts without suggesting meeting up though.
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HacksawJ. Duggan Esq.Wrestler at LawRegistered Userregular
He's just text asking when my next shift is and that he's slept all day (he works nights) so I'm now staring at my phone willing him to ask the next question in this sequence. Or there will be the ass talk!
Edit: The boy is getting the ass talk.
Angelina on
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HacksawJ. Duggan Esq.Wrestler at LawRegistered Userregular
"I want to go out with you. Fail to do so and you will get it right in the ass."
Be sure to include a to disarm his fear.
Follow up with a text message saying, "The was ironic. Your butthole is in danger. DATE ME."
No no no. You get your friends phone and send the "You're going to get it right in the ass" message. Then you send the "Your ass is in danger. Come out on a date with me if you want to live" message.
Jeez Hacksaw. You almost ruined the whole plan.
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HacksawJ. Duggan Esq.Wrestler at LawRegistered Userregular
Either approach will work. So long as he knows his anus is in danger of being violated, and dating you is the only surefire way of preventing said violation, you should be in the clear.
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HacksawJ. Duggan Esq.Wrestler at LawRegistered Userregular
If necessary, have someone send him a picture of a cucumber pressing through the hole of a doughnut.
I vaguely remember waking up in the middle of the night and repling to a text of his with "so go fuck off and be drunk" as he had drunk text me. I'm a charming girl and have sent another text this morning demanding a back massage. In for a penny, in for a pound.
I do have a friend though that would be more than willing to threaten his ass...
I got my first message from a black woman, who was 10 years older than me and outside my preferred age group, who just straight up asked me if I'm into black women. I look at her profile and she has a huge asian fetish and just straight up mentions she has this fetish.
I vaguely remember waking up in the middle of the night and repling to a text of his with "so go fuck off and be drunk" as he had drunk text me. I'm a charming girl and have sent another text this morning demanding a back massage. In for a penny, in for a pound.
I do have a friend though that would be more than willing to threaten his ass...
So uhh, the massage thing worked and I'm seeing him tomorow night?
I got my first message from a black woman, who was 10 years older than me and outside my preferred age group, who just straight up asked me if I'm into black women. I look at her profile and she has a huge asian fetish and just straight up mentions she has this fetish.
No thanks.
Can't blame a person for trying/knowing what she wants!
Sorry, it's a boobs thing. Possible chances to see boobs always wins.
I still want to ruin my life with drunk videogaming! It's a much more appealing prospect then internet dating. I'm currently giving a previous date love advice. Actually I give most of my previous dates love advice. Hmm...
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HacksawJ. Duggan Esq.Wrestler at LawRegistered Userregular
A cautionary tale about using OKCupid's rating system, don't just don't. Saw a new girl online, though she was cute and we might have stuff in common but I was tired so I rated her a 5 and I resolved to message her next time. Then I hear "ding", my phone notifying me of a OKC message. Had she beaten me to the punch? She had! Open the message.. "Wow, people actually rate each other on here?"
:?
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HacksawJ. Duggan Esq.Wrestler at LawRegistered Userregular
"Sure do. I like your profile. We seem to have a lot in common."
And then you proceed to message back and forth with her.
A cautionary tale about using OKCupid's rating system, don't just don't. Saw a new girl online, though she was cute and we might have stuff in common but I was tired so I rated her a 5 and I resolved to message her next time. Then I hear "ding", my phone notifying me of a OKC message. Had she beaten me to the punch? She had! Open the message.. "Wow, people actually rate each other on here?"
:?
"Yeah girl. You a double fine super cute hotty. What about me? Did you like the picture where I lifted my shirt so you could see my abs?"
In shiny news I have a date with a girl off Okc. She was kind enough to message me and ask me out. It was nice to not have that level of responsibility. Of course I'm nervous as all hell because first date.
"The only way to get rid of a temptation is to give into it." - Oscar Wilde
"We believe in the people and their 'wisdom' as if there was some special secret entrance to knowledge that barred to anyone who had ever learned anything." - Friedrich Nietzsche
Eh, seemed like a kinda condescending rhetorical question to me. Not the best conversation starter but don't have anything to lose I guess.
On a better first message front, a different girl complemented me & my musical taste and suggested meeting up for coffee right off the bat and maybe jamming together on guitar. Now that I can work with.
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I plan to die alone playing videogames with @wazilla
But... but then I'll have to die alone alone!
Hey man, don't try to muscle in on my not-dying-alone-alone action.
So dates with two women have been going well. But at what point do you usually decide to pursue only one?
This is brand new territory since I've only dated one woman at a time before and I'm not sure what to do. What do you tell the one you are breaking it off with too?
This is more general dating and relationships, but it depends on what you're looking for in a relationship. It's a bigger question than "who do I like more," and it's very hard to give advice since it's so personal. My girlfriend says "as soon as you have sex with someone, you're serious," which isn't universal but she has a good point in that many people see sex as a serious emotional commitment. Similarly, it really shouldn't be a question of "pursue" so much as "who's a better fit." If you have to finagle dates and the general sense is that you're still testing the waters, you're not really serious -- you're still just dating. If you're actively seeking each other out and your larger worldviews/life paths seem to be compatible, then that's got potential.
Well, I wouldn't actually wait quite that long, but the thought still stands. Do both girls want you as a boyfriend? If so, then sure, you need to choose. But if you aren't to that point yet, how do you know you'll even get to that point with even one of them?
And just to refute another comment above, girls can have sex without being serious. So don't use that as your decision point.
A mixture of her getting minor surgery, me changing jobs, and a lot of random delays on both our parts.
She texted me right after, so I take that as a good sign. I tentatively set up seeing a concert in a couple weeks, but I'm gonna try and set up an earlier date since we both haven't been to the city museum in a while.
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If I could swear at him without scaring him, the boy would be learning some new words.
Edit: The boy is getting the ass talk.
Be sure to include a to disarm his fear.
Follow up with a text message saying, "The was ironic. Your butthole is in danger. DATE ME."
He needs to know you're serious.
Jeez Hacksaw. You almost ruined the whole plan.
Or send it yourself. Whatever works.
I do have a friend though that would be more than willing to threaten his ass...
No thanks.
So uhh, the massage thing worked and I'm seeing him tomorow night?
Can't blame a person for trying/knowing what she wants!
I guess... don't wear something that threatens his ass?
Well that rules out the dress made of dildos.
And the dress made of vibrators.
And the dress made of suppositories.
@Wazilla Move in with me and lets grow old together playing videogames and destroying our livers with all the different kinds of alcohol.
You demand massages and you get a bloke to come around and massage you.
We demand massages and we get pepper-sprayed.
I think it will end better for you.
I still want to ruin my life with drunk videogaming! It's a much more appealing prospect then internet dating. I'm currently giving a previous date love advice. Actually I give most of my previous dates love advice. Hmm...
Okay. Swing by the West Coast of the US. I'll wait.
:?
And then you proceed to message back and forth with her.
In shiny news I have a date with a girl off Okc. She was kind enough to message me and ask me out. It was nice to not have that level of responsibility. Of course I'm nervous as all hell because first date.
"We believe in the people and their 'wisdom' as if there was some special secret entrance to knowledge that barred to anyone who had ever learned anything." - Friedrich Nietzsche
On a better first message front, a different girl complemented me & my musical taste and suggested meeting up for coffee right off the bat and maybe jamming together on guitar. Now that I can work with.
Well.
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