Metzger MeisterIt Gets Worsebefore it gets any better.Registered Userregular
edited August 2007
A little kid is sitting in the park, eating chocolate bars. An old man feeding the pidgeons nearby watches him eat, and eat, six in a row. The old man, perturbed by such behavior, walks up to our young candy-loving lad and says "Son, you shouldn't eat so much candy! I'm 80 years old, and I got to be this old by NEVER eating candy!" Little boy says, "Oh yeah? My grandpa lived to be 112." The old man says "Did he eat candy every day?"
Metzger MeisterIt Gets Worsebefore it gets any better.Registered Userregular
edited August 2007
There's a little girl, sitting in class, drawing God. The teacher asks her, "What are you drawing, Suzy?" The little girl says God. The teacher says, "You can't draw God, no one knows what he looks like." Suzy says "They will in a minute."
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NogsCrap, crap, mega crap.Crap, crap, mega crap.Registered Userregular
On the way in to get my prescription filled today, I overheard a little boy and his mom talking. They were going back and forth about the mom's health. "I'm going to be fine" she'd say. "No you're not" the boy would reply. Then the mom asked why he thought she wasn't going to be okay. "Because you're big and fat!" the kid answered.
On the way in to get my prescription filled today, I overheard a little boy and his mom talking. They were going back and forth about the mom's health. "I'm going to be fine" she'd say. "No you're not" the boy would reply. Then the mom asked why he thought she wasn't going to be okay. "Because you're big and fat!" the kid answered.
The kid was right. She was big and fat.
That's not funny by itself, but damn if it probably wasn't funny to see the look on the mom's face.
Posts
Ahahahahaha
Dear satan I wish for this or maybe some of this....oh and I'm a medium or a large.
What isn't?
off.
your face!
I've been trying to reach you, but your extension cord doesn't reach that far.
in this case, I'm more of a prop comedian
This still makes me laugh whenever I hear it
Dear satan I wish for this or maybe some of this....oh and I'm a medium or a large.
:v:
Secret Satan 2013 Wishlist
Why do you go to bed?
Knock,Knock!
Who's there?
Howl!
Howl who?
Howl we get away from that mean dog over there?
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo Who?
Don't Cry it's only a joke.
-Robert E. Howard
Tower of the Elephant
Who's There?
Dwayne
Dwayne who?
Dwayne the bathtub I'm dwowning
Dear satan I wish for this or maybe some of this....oh and I'm a medium or a large.
What so you call a guy with no arms and no legs lying on the floor?
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves?
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs standing in a hole?
PARKER, YOU'RE FIRED! <-- My comic book podcast! Satan look here!
Where do one-legged people go to eat?
PARKER, YOU'RE FIRED! <-- My comic book podcast! Satan look here!
What do you call a woman with one leg from Japan?
God, my dad told me so many fucking horribly inapropriate jokes when I was little. Fer real.
He was a big fan of racist/misogynist jokes tgoo, which is surprising since my dad is the least prejudiced guy I know.
For example: Why did god give women legs? So they wouldn't leave snail-trails. Alternatively, because ovens and ironing boards are waist-high.
The kid was right. She was big and fat.
Dear satan I wish for this or maybe some of this....oh and I'm a medium or a large.
That's not funny by itself, but damn if it probably wasn't funny to see the look on the mom's face.
"Your son's very full of himself, isn't he?"
What does it mean if you find a horseshoe?
What's the best day to have bacon for breakfast?
This book was purchased. With money. ;_;
oh man it has knock knock jokes too!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Betty.
Betty who?
Betty let me in, it's freezing out here!
You have opened a fucking portal which cannot now be closed.
What's more fun then feeling up a dead baby?
What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
How do you make a baby cry twice?