Like, I'm physically attracted to women but if a guy friend was like laying on my shoulder, it wouldn't bother me. Which I mean, I think, is the way it should be and I'm not like 'AMG he's touching me' but I guess I kind of expected more hesitance in that sort of situation? I don't know if that comes off as homophobic, not meaning to be. The main reason I bring it up is cause I don't wanna be the guy who hits 50 and is suddenly like 'WHOA, I MISSED OUT ON THIS THING.".
Admittedly I've never been romantically approached by a man so I can't really say how I'd feel about that situation.
The best thing you can do is be open to it. And I don't mean when a man approaches you romantically; I mean be open to feelings of attraction or romantic interest that you might have towards someone else. Look at guys and see if you find them attractive, hang out with them and see if you feel those warm feelings that come with responding to someone's personality. If you meet someone you like, go with it and see where it takes you.
What I wouldn't do is dive into sexual experimentation; aside from that being a bad time to find out you're uncomfortable with it, you also might end up disliking the experience because of missing that emotional connection.
You might also just be comfortable around other guys, without being attracted to them. Nothing wrong with that.
You know, I always wondered how hard it would be to tell if you were bisexual. Gay or straight is easy since "Hey, I like X or Y and I am X or Y." I've actually wondered it about myself a few times and so far I can't say I have any romantic interest in men, yet at the same time the idea doesn't seem foreign to me. It doesn't really bother me, but it does make me wonder from time to time.
Of course, it doesn't really matter as right now I'm broke and in no position to be seeing anyone, but still!
I think it was a lot harder on me realizing I was bi instead of gay. If I had been gay I coulda sorted things out sooner I think and with less pain.
Instead I thought I was fucked up because I liked girls, was involved with girls, see I'm not gay, right? Right? What the fuuuuuuuck...
That and people associating bisexuals with villains and sluts made it pretty hard to deal with. Just be with a girl and NO ONE WILL KNOW, yeah?
Trying to deny it was super painful, and not bringing it up because you can blend in (no "I've never seen you with a girl, dude" so people just assume hetero) and because of stigma is fucking frustrating.
Wait what were we talking about again? Oh yeah, realizing you're bisexual. Well, it is as simple as acknowledging "hey, I like X and Y!" but you have to get over the denial and excuses to do that, at least I did.
Whoever quoted Kinsey on the last page had it. As far as labels go, just having two isn't enough for sexuality, but "bi-sexual" also carries a connotation that you're equally fine with either gender. Even if you feel some attraction to both genders, chances are it's not equal. So, there's degrees.
Republican governor and gay marriage opponent Susana Martinez has vetoed a Senate bill to help the families of gay service members obtain professional licenses in New Mexico. After issuing the pocket veto, Martinez signed an identical version of the measure that would only streamline the process for straight spouses.
The initial bill wouldn't have helped just gay veterans as the quote implies but all of them.
This is like how sometimes you wonder if the Westboro baptist church people aren't actually just faking their craziness as a community-building program. Like nothing pulls a community together in solidarity faster than a visit from Westboro, and nothing makes even old people uncomfortable with discrimination faster than hearing about disrespecting honorably discharged gay service members.
(also fuck you Martinez)
A trap is for fish: when you've got the fish, you can forget the trap. A snare is for rabbits: when you've got the rabbit, you can forget the snare. Words are for meaning: when you've got the meaning, you can forget the words.
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ShivahnUnaware of her barrel shifter privilegeWestern coastal temptressRegistered User, Moderatormod
So when gay marriage is no longer an issue, what is the next big goal to be worked on?
We could let transgender people into the military.
Yeah, sexual orientation as a suspect class, gender identity as such, employment protection, housing protection, trans bathroom protection (ugh, what a world where that needs to be mentioned), trans health care, trans legal stuff (I.E., making it possible to change legal gender where it's not, getting rid of ridiculous waiting period stuff for certain therapies, etc), more serious attention paid to bullying, fixing the problem of youth being kicked out onto the street for being queer, getting the police to take queer people seriously and ending harassment by law enforcement, etc.
Whoever quoted Kinsey on the last page had it. As far as labels go, just having two isn't enough for sexuality, but "bi-sexual" also carries a connotation that you're equally fine with either gender. Even if you feel some attraction to both genders, chances are it's not equal. So, there's degrees.
Yeah, that Kinsey quote is awesome. I've basically said almost the exact same thing before (nature doesn't exist in discrete categories, but as a continuum of multiple variables; our categorization is fundamentally an abstract ordering we impose upon things that do not reflect their true nature). Usually with regards to gender and sex being hard to define because it's made of a bunch of separate, continuous variables, but obviously it's absolutely perfect for sexuality and a whole bunch of other stuff too.
"Is this an X or a Y" is almost always a loaded question, because very rarely is the space in between unpopulated.
Bisexuality was a super common thing throughout most of history, especially before the Catholics got super hung up on sex. And then typically every culture thought every other culture's version was depraved and gross.
A trap is for fish: when you've got the fish, you can forget the trap. A snare is for rabbits: when you've got the rabbit, you can forget the snare. Words are for meaning: when you've got the meaning, you can forget the words.
Wait what were we talking about again? Oh yeah, realizing you're bisexual. Well, it is as simple as acknowledging "hey, I like X and Y!" but you have to get over the denial and excuses to do that, at least I did.
Thank you!
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KwoaruConfident SmirkFlawless Golden PecsRegistered Userregular
So when gay marriage is no longer an issue, what is the next big goal to be worked on?
I dunno about the next issue under the umbrella of gay rights but, as social issues go, the abortion fight certainly seems to be making a comeback across the country (though that is for a different thread I guess)
So when gay marriage is no longer an issue, what is the next big goal to be worked on?
Closing the rape camps.
Signing onto the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child.
Allowing gay refugees to flee countries where bigotry is rampant to settle in the US.
Enshrining the Kinsey-Xavier Scale into our nation's textbooks and laws, that heterosexuals might be allowed to develop their latent gay powers in peace.
Arresting people who donate to anti-gay terrorist groups abroad.
"Troubled Teen Industry"
"Gay To Straight Conversion"
"Tough Love Behavior Modification"
"Tranquility Bay"
"Exodus International"
The same people who would send their children to these places run the MPAA ratings committee, so expect every film on the subject to be NC-17 in order to discourage production and distribution for a long time.
Oh, those rape camps. Yeah, let's shut those fuckers down next. I'm good with that.
It's outsourced child abuse. Getting homosexuality legally recognized as a thing should go a long way to setting up an argument to shut those things down. I don't know about drug "rehab" angle that some of those sites advertise, but making the sexual reprogramming illegal might shine a bright enough light to scatter the rest of the operation.
Wait what were we talking about again? Oh yeah, realizing you're bisexual. Well, it is as simple as acknowledging "hey, I like X and Y!" but you have to get over the denial and excuses to do that, at least I did.
Thank you!
I'm not sure if this is sarcastic or not. :rotate:
City councilors in Warwick (Rhode Island's second-largest city) unanimously approved a resolution supporting marriage equality in the state. Warwick joins the cities of Providence and East Providence, Governor Chafee, a majority of Rhode Island voters, faith leaders, business leaders, and the Rhode Island Psychological Association in supporting the pending legislation that would make Rhode Island the last New England state with marriage equality for same-sex couples.
So when gay marriage is no longer an issue, what is the next big goal to be worked on?
Transgender rights, and folding sexual orientation into the anti-discrimination laws. Too many states can still fire a person for being gay.
Sounds about right.
IIRC VA has some shitty law on the books that allows certain adoption agencies to refuse allowing gays to adopt kids that they are trying to find homes for. I'm pretty sure they aren't the only state with such a terrible law on the books. Definitely a good example of any area where anti-discrimination laws need to be extended.
I'm hoping they'll be able to get anti-discrimination laws extended to cover everything like hirings, firings, adoption, service and whatever else the current anti-discrimination laws cover, but alas we're dealing with bigots, so probably still end up taking a bunch of assholes to court for discrimination.
Granted depending on how quickly that fight goes, it might be interesting to see where much of the political energy for gay rights gets directed.
Yeah it's pretty common mostly from pressure from Catholic adoption agencies threatening to pack up and leaving the state if they're forced to adopt kids to gays
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KalTorakOne way or another, they all end up inthe Undercity.Registered Userregular
Those are some charitable motherfuckers, right there.
AR, huh? I bet that guy received some interesting mail between then and now. The kind you'd normally tape to a brick or write in gasoline. The really classy stuff.
I can't watch anything with Glen Beck in it, but if that url is accurate, his church isn't going to be too happy with him.
Clearly sanctioned by people in LDS leadership who believed the slippery-slope fallacy about gay marriage leading the plural marriage and/or light incest.
Why have we been arguing about marriage? We have been so foolish…it is not about gays, it is not about homosexuals, it is not about any of them. It is about freedom and the reason why they have won is because they have made it about freedom! And freedom, everyone basically understands freedom. That more freedom, not less, and so the argument has been ‘Who are you to tell me what I can and can not do?’ And by saying ‘Well because it always is! What’s happened?,’ you’ve lost, and by doing so, by not turning into it soon enough, what’s happened is you’ve been painted into a corner of a bigot! That’s why they have won, because the principle of it is right. The principle is easy to understand. Who are you to say?
It's basically the same reason O'Reilly now "supports" marriage equality: supporting it is an easy argument to make, and the arguments made against marriage equality have sucked and are clearly not legitimate to everybody with eyes.
Why have we been arguing about marriage? We have been so foolish…it is not about gays, it is not about homosexuals, it is not about any of them. It is about freedom and the reason why they have won is because they have made it about freedom! And freedom, everyone basically understands freedom. That more freedom, not less, and so the argument has been ‘Who are you to tell me what I can and can not do?’ And by saying ‘Well because it always is! What’s happened?,’ you’ve lost, and by doing so, by not turning into it soon enough, what’s happened is you’ve been painted into a corner of a bigot! That’s why they have won, because the principle of it is right. The principle is easy to understand. Who are you to say?
You know what this means? Glenn Beck has been replaced by a Skrull.
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KalTorakOne way or another, they all end up inthe Undercity.Registered Userregular
The first article and one of the most important articles of the text legalizing same sex marriage and adoption has been adopted by the French Senate, 179 to 159. Other articles must still be voted on starting next week, and it still has to go to the President (who has vowed to sign it).
Magus`The fun has been DOUBLED!Registered Userregular
Mind you, I haven't been in a meaningful relationship in years, so their's probably a general level of loneliness involved. On the plus side I just got a job so that'll keep me occupied.
Mind you, I haven't been in a meaningful relationship in years, so their's probably a general level of loneliness involved. On the plus side I just got a job so that'll keep me occupied.
I feel ya Magus
:winky:
But seriously, I've felt this same way. Even during my time in the Navy.
Nocren on
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AstaerethIn the belly of the beastRegistered Userregular
Looks like Harvey Milk was very much correct when he said that coming out and being open was the best way to elicit change.
Posts
Illegalizing rape camps is the next step.
The best thing you can do is be open to it. And I don't mean when a man approaches you romantically; I mean be open to feelings of attraction or romantic interest that you might have towards someone else. Look at guys and see if you find them attractive, hang out with them and see if you feel those warm feelings that come with responding to someone's personality. If you meet someone you like, go with it and see where it takes you.
What I wouldn't do is dive into sexual experimentation; aside from that being a bad time to find out you're uncomfortable with it, you also might end up disliking the experience because of missing that emotional connection.
You might also just be comfortable around other guys, without being attracted to them. Nothing wrong with that.
I think it was a lot harder on me realizing I was bi instead of gay. If I had been gay I coulda sorted things out sooner I think and with less pain.
Instead I thought I was fucked up because I liked girls, was involved with girls, see I'm not gay, right? Right? What the fuuuuuuuck...
That and people associating bisexuals with villains and sluts made it pretty hard to deal with. Just be with a girl and NO ONE WILL KNOW, yeah?
Trying to deny it was super painful, and not bringing it up because you can blend in (no "I've never seen you with a girl, dude" so people just assume hetero) and because of stigma is fucking frustrating.
Wait what were we talking about again? Oh yeah, realizing you're bisexual. Well, it is as simple as acknowledging "hey, I like X and Y!" but you have to get over the denial and excuses to do that, at least I did.
Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
This is like how sometimes you wonder if the Westboro baptist church people aren't actually just faking their craziness as a community-building program. Like nothing pulls a community together in solidarity faster than a visit from Westboro, and nothing makes even old people uncomfortable with discrimination faster than hearing about disrespecting honorably discharged gay service members.
(also fuck you Martinez)
Yeah, sexual orientation as a suspect class, gender identity as such, employment protection, housing protection, trans bathroom protection (ugh, what a world where that needs to be mentioned), trans health care, trans legal stuff (I.E., making it possible to change legal gender where it's not, getting rid of ridiculous waiting period stuff for certain therapies, etc), more serious attention paid to bullying, fixing the problem of youth being kicked out onto the street for being queer, getting the police to take queer people seriously and ending harassment by law enforcement, etc.
There is a lot of work to be done.
Edit for also...
Yeah, that Kinsey quote is awesome. I've basically said almost the exact same thing before (nature doesn't exist in discrete categories, but as a continuum of multiple variables; our categorization is fundamentally an abstract ordering we impose upon things that do not reflect their true nature). Usually with regards to gender and sex being hard to define because it's made of a bunch of separate, continuous variables, but obviously it's absolutely perfect for sexuality and a whole bunch of other stuff too.
"Is this an X or a Y" is almost always a loaded question, because very rarely is the space in between unpopulated.
Thank you!
I dunno about the next issue under the umbrella of gay rights but, as social issues go, the abortion fight certainly seems to be making a comeback across the country (though that is for a different thread I guess)
Closing the rape camps. Signing onto the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child. Allowing gay refugees to flee countries where bigotry is rampant to settle in the US. Enshrining the Kinsey-Xavier Scale into our nation's textbooks and laws, that heterosexuals might be allowed to develop their latent gay powers in peace. Arresting people who donate to anti-gay terrorist groups abroad.
"Gay To Straight Conversion"
"Tough Love Behavior Modification"
"Tranquility Bay"
"Exodus International"
The same people who would send their children to these places run the MPAA ratings committee, so expect every film on the subject to be NC-17 in order to discourage production and distribution for a long time.
It's outsourced child abuse. Getting homosexuality legally recognized as a thing should go a long way to setting up an argument to shut those things down. I don't know about drug "rehab" angle that some of those sites advertise, but making the sexual reprogramming illegal might shine a bright enough light to scatter the rest of the operation.
Reparative therapy camps is a bad enough phrase to use without resorting to loaded words.
I'm not sure if this is sarcastic or not. :rotate:
For some reason I thought they were talking about the US Jail / Prison system at first.
MWO: Adamski
Steam
Yeah it's pretty common mostly from pressure from Catholic adoption agencies threatening to pack up and leaving the state if they're forced to adopt kids to gays
Child Torture Camps would be the most appropriate I think.
"I am opposed to gay marriage."
This is the one that said he was undecided last week.
The URL says it all
Steam
It's basically the same reason O'Reilly now "supports" marriage equality: supporting it is an easy argument to make, and the arguments made against marriage equality have sucked and are clearly not legitimate to everybody with eyes.
Steam
You know what this means? Glenn Beck has been replaced by a Skrull.
Don't insult skrulls.
He is not endorsing gay marriage or doing anything of the sort.
Steam
Pretty much, that quote just sounds like him admitting defeat (though the language he uses doesn't even personalize it)
Not "You're a bigot" or "that's a bigotted view".
It’s not a very important country most of the time
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I feel ya Magus
But seriously, I've felt this same way. Even during my time in the Navy.
Looks like Harvey Milk was very much correct when he said that coming out and being open was the best way to elicit change.