NakedZerglingA more apocalyptic post apocalypse Portland OregonRegistered Userregular
I got exhausted just looking at all the text balloons...Like half your page is taken up with word balloons! They are breaking panels, and going into other panels, destroying the flow of the comic. I couldn't even finish the first one, i was just too distracted.
Thank you for your comment. Yeah, it does become confusing when I try to say too much in a page. It's from left to right in the second row with 5, then 3 and 1 panel. It shows that the animals are stuck in the hole and as Dino rescues one, he finds another right under it, so he rescues a total of 5 animals in the end before he flies away. Now that you mention it, I am glad the client didn't have that problem back then. I will be more aware of this problem next time. Thank you.
I don't think it's so much a problem of trying to say too much, more choice of framing (how you show the action and from which angle) and panel layout. The split panels there after the fifth panel are what make it confusing. Your eye wants to look at the bottom one but the top seems like it's first? Then which panel comes next, is it the orange panel or back to the cow, and the monkey panel overlapping 2 other panels breaks the flow even more
As far as the action, I think a shot establishing that there are animals stuck in a hole would fix that easily. Maybe an extreme perspective of the animals pov looking up at nutty or the group up top looking down into the hole.
Yeah, it's not that you have too much copy; you just need to be more judicious with your word balloon placement. The very first panel of the very first strip, I read "Papa, we are here" immediately followed by "Papa, this is my friend Dino," and totally skip panels two and three, all because panel 4 visually intersects with your first panel and panel 2 doesn't, and in comics that will always, always, always lead the eye.
If you haven't read scott McClouds "Understanding Comics" and "Making Comics" they are pretty much all about theory when it comes to panel layout, readability, and timing. They are excellent books and it does not take long to sit down and read through the two of them.
(TvT) thank you very much! (The more (crits) the merrier!) I really appreciate it.
nuttydino on
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EncA Fool with CompassionPronouns: He, Him, HisRegistered Userregular
There was a comic that was having similar placement concerns over in the Webcomics forum a while back. I posted a little thing there that might help you as well:
I'd cool it on the gradients; they cheapen to look of your stuff, particularly saturated ones like in the third panel of this story. Similarly, Comic Sans is sort of gross to look at; I am a fan of hand-lettering but if you don't feel up to it grab yourself a better lettering font.
+1
EncA Fool with CompassionPronouns: He, Him, HisRegistered Userregular
Why is the Nutty Dino logo plastered on each comic? Are you selling a product with these comics?
The background colors (edit to clarify: The space behind the panels, not the backgrounds within the panels) are pretty distracting to me. I'd stick with either black or white, no gradients, no saturated colors. This will make your art and writing be more of the center of attention, and lessen distraction of the eye. Keep them coming! I'm sure you'll improve in leaps and bounds the more you work and ask for feedback.
Thank you "squidbunny" for the feedback on gradients and fonts & Awesome site for comic fonts! =D
Hi "Enc", thank you for inquiring, the comics is in fact a weekly comic, hence the logo on every page. I am trying to re-post most issues here. I hope you will enjoy reading them.
Great point"cpatten"! thank you very much for pointing that out. I was once told of the same thing not too long ago, so I started using white backgrounds in this upcoming story which I'll post here on Sunday. Thanks!!
Thank you "Iruka" again for your suggestion on the McClouds' books. I have been reading them, and have learned a lot about the craft since! Thanks!
EncA Fool with CompassionPronouns: He, Him, HisRegistered Userregular
Unless you have a really specific reason to hammer your comic logo (such as product placement or being sponsored by another company) then you might want to consider thottling back the logo. Almost every successful webcomic limits their signatures to a line tucked somewhere between panels where it is difficult to remove, but not noticeable unless you are looking for it. Look at today's Penny Arcade, where is the logo on the comic? Look at the first Penny Arcade comics, where is it there?
A lot of new webcomic artists fall into this trap where they think that getting a trademark or a logo is critically important for leveraging a market, and in certain businessess (most that aren't webcomics) this is true. However when what you are selling is essentially a logo that changes every time you update (via your characters, comics, and other notable stylistic choices that remain constant in your webcomic) repeating your logo is distracting.
Let your comic sell itself. Keep the logo for your merchandise and the top of your website.
Thank you. You are right. For over a year, I have had the logo at the corner, and somehow it bothers me. Now that you mentioned it, I think it's because it draws my attention every time I reread my comics. The logo covers almost 10-15% of the page....and it's colorful and eye-catching. If that week's story is a sad theme; the logo could destroy the effect (e.g. page 7b in "The Beginning"). Thank you very much for pointing that out.
These are looking way better already, IMO, with the new font and without the branding. Also your background color fills are looking classier. Great work.
Thank you for the encouragement!! TvT
Here's for your daughter ('MagicToaster') and to you guys that made this issue better than the last. =D
+2
EncA Fool with CompassionPronouns: He, Him, HisRegistered Userregular
Your characters have a lot of presence and expression, but I find it difficult to tell their actions and relationship with their environment in a lot of your panels. Looking at This comic:
We see Nutty flying about in epic awesome form. We see him do the "going faster, sound barrier explosion" which I absolutely loved. And we see the mountains as he approaches. Up to that point, everything is absolutely amazing.
Then the big action bit happens! Nutty starts falling. Only, we don't see him fall, not in any way that really grounds us to the severity or scale of the fall. Nor do we really see what happens upon landing. Since the camera angle is so close up, the reader has very litter reference for what is happening as he falls out of the sky.
But what if we pan back the camera just a bit on those last few panels:
While this is quick and dirty using my work mouse and paint, I hope you can see what I'm talking about. If you show where Nutty is falling, and pan back to see how far he is falling, even for one or two frames, it makes all the following ones make sense. You can use these big, wide paneled shots to establish where Nutty is, so you don't have to draw later scenes in as much detail.
Gunnerkrigg Court is amazing at this:
In the first panel we have a lot of detail on the background and the surroundings, but after that? Not much. Just enough to hint at what is going on behind without doing too much detail. Once you know where your characters are, you can focus on them and them alone. But establishing that location for your readers will draw them into your world, and allow them to better understand the adventures of our favorite pirate-eyed dog adventurer.
Thank you so much for taking the time to show me the idea. I really appreciate it. This is by far the most helpful forum. Thanks!! =D
I think I am going to start posting upcoming issue's work in progress here, so good ideas like this won't become a hindsight.
Thank you very much for the compliment! I am trying to have Dino caught into the web as he walks out of the cave from the front camera angle in the second row. I feel it's not very convincing now, what do you guys think? I plan to reference some spiderman's comics and movies? Any suggestions?
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EncA Fool with CompassionPronouns: He, Him, HisRegistered Userregular
Maybe take a look at the scene in Lord of the Rings: Return of the King where Frodo gets trapped in Shelob's lair. Pretty solid spider scariness to reference from, if memory serves me.
Posts
As far as the action, I think a shot establishing that there are animals stuck in a hole would fix that easily. Maybe an extreme perspective of the animals pov looking up at nutty or the group up top looking down into the hole.
Hope that helps some :]
http://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/comment/26424607/#Comment_26424607
Essentially you just want to ensure you are drawing the eyes of the reader intuitively in the right order.
Comments welcome.
Hi "Enc", thank you for inquiring, the comics is in fact a weekly comic, hence the logo on every page. I am trying to re-post most issues here. I hope you will enjoy reading them.
Great point"cpatten"! thank you very much for pointing that out. I was once told of the same thing not too long ago, so I started using white backgrounds in this upcoming story which I'll post here on Sunday. Thanks!!
Thank you "Iruka" again for your suggestion on the McClouds' books. I have been reading them, and have learned a lot about the craft since! Thanks!
A lot of new webcomic artists fall into this trap where they think that getting a trademark or a logo is critically important for leveraging a market, and in certain businessess (most that aren't webcomics) this is true. However when what you are selling is essentially a logo that changes every time you update (via your characters, comics, and other notable stylistic choices that remain constant in your webcomic) repeating your logo is distracting.
Let your comic sell itself. Keep the logo for your merchandise and the top of your website.
Here's for your daughter ('MagicToaster') and to you guys that made this issue better than the last. =D
We see Nutty flying about in epic awesome form. We see him do the "going faster, sound barrier explosion" which I absolutely loved. And we see the mountains as he approaches. Up to that point, everything is absolutely amazing.
Then the big action bit happens! Nutty starts falling. Only, we don't see him fall, not in any way that really grounds us to the severity or scale of the fall. Nor do we really see what happens upon landing. Since the camera angle is so close up, the reader has very litter reference for what is happening as he falls out of the sky.
But what if we pan back the camera just a bit on those last few panels:
While this is quick and dirty using my work mouse and paint, I hope you can see what I'm talking about. If you show where Nutty is falling, and pan back to see how far he is falling, even for one or two frames, it makes all the following ones make sense. You can use these big, wide paneled shots to establish where Nutty is, so you don't have to draw later scenes in as much detail.
Gunnerkrigg Court is amazing at this:
In the first panel we have a lot of detail on the background and the surroundings, but after that? Not much. Just enough to hint at what is going on behind without doing too much detail. Once you know where your characters are, you can focus on them and them alone. But establishing that location for your readers will draw them into your world, and allow them to better understand the adventures of our favorite pirate-eyed dog adventurer.
I think I am going to start posting upcoming issue's work in progress here, so good ideas like this won't become a hindsight.
enjoy!!
(One of the challenges I have now is background/stages...such as judging the amount of background information I should include in each panel.)