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date my school: horrible idea or absolutely abysmal idea?

k-mapsk-maps I wish I could find the Karnaugh map for love.2^<3Registered User regular
edited July 2013 in Help / Advice Forum
So probably some of you know about this, but there's this new online dating service out called datemyschool which creates a little selective dating pool out of those who share the same *.edu domains.

I'll just say this straight up, I don't like the idea of online dating. Something about it just rubs me the wrong way. This is completely irrational and prejudiced but it just doesn't do it for me. I have a friend who met his long-term girlfriend through an online dating service, and I don't like her. She's like the instant TV dinner version of the person I think he could be dating. Also, I'm a terrible person.

However, something about dating someone I share something pretty big in common already appeals to me. Maybe it's a failure of imagination, but it feels safer and more comforting somehow. So, this girl "anonymously" invited me to this service. Now I'm almost 100% sure who it is, and she's someone that I wouldn't mind dating. But, I would need to join in order to be certain.

Something about this just strikes me as a really terrible idea, but I can't put my finger on it. Can anyone persuade or dissuade me otherwise?

k-maps on

Posts

  • WildEEPWildEEP Registered User regular
    . . . or you could just strap on a pair and ask the girl you think invited you.

    If she's date worthy, why not do it? Why beat around the bush with a profile to an online site you don't even believe in?

    LaOs
  • MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    Also could be a paid shill for the site.

    So either way, skip the site and talk to her directly.

    Jokerman wrote: »
    If sigs were still a thing this would be mine.
    LaOsJusticeforPluto
  • k-mapsk-maps I wish I could find the Karnaugh map for love. 2^<3Registered User regular
    I would, only currently we're geographically far apart, and if she's not given express interest in seeing me at a later time, it would be really weird for me to ask her out.

  • k-mapsk-maps I wish I could find the Karnaugh map for love. 2^<3Registered User regular
    MichaelLC wrote: »
    Also could be a paid shill for the site.

    So either way, skip the site and talk to her directly.

    I've thought of that, but if the information matches with the person I'm thinking there's no fucking way.

  • MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    Sorry, I meant she's that person, but being paid to get people to sign up. Although yeah, on the big sites there's a lot of non-existent "members".

    So she's at a different campus or something? Find a reason to go there, and message her saying you saw the invite but not really into the online thing. See if she want's to meet up for coffee or a joint or whatever kids do these days. Can always cut it short to say you need to run to the library or see a prof. or whatever.

    Jokerman wrote: »
    If sigs were still a thing this would be mine.
  • k-mapsk-maps I wish I could find the Karnaugh map for love. 2^<3Registered User regular
    edited July 2013
    MichaelLC wrote: »
    Sorry, I meant she's that person, but being paid to get people to sign up. Although yeah, on the big sites there's a lot of non-existent "members".

    So she's at a different campus or something? Find a reason to go there, and message her saying you saw the invite but not really into the online thing. See if she want's to meet up for coffee or a joint or whatever kids do these days. Can always cut it short to say you need to run to the library or see a prof. or whatever.

    More like we're both interning at different states; she's graduating and going to a different but not terribly far school next semester. So if we were to meet it would probably be towards the end of summer...at any rate, this thread was meant to be more about the service itself, and also I meant to say there is no way she would shill for this site.

    It's also entirely possible this is a more friendly, hey check out this service, but I can't think of anyone who would do that for me with the information given.

    k-maps on
  • The EnderThe Ender Registered User regular
    *Watches promo video*

    Okay. Well, what they apparently have to offer over other dating sites is, 'everyone will laugh at you if you use dating sites' and 'there's all those creepers out there'. Frankly, that is an idiotic 'advantage', because exactly the same problems will be present on this website.

    Just to experiment with their vetting process, which seems to be, 'as long as you have a .edu email address, you're legit', I signed-up an account claiming to be an MiT student. Yup, legit, according to their system, even though I live on Vancouver Island and have never set foot on MiT's campus.


    This is just like any other dating website, but with a weaksauce vetting filter that hardly guarantees the quality of any suitor. If you feel more comfortable using it than using another service, go right ahead - but don't be deceived into thinking it somehow offers a superior experience. Your expectation should be (just like with any dating site): 'I'm going to throw the dice until I meet Mr / Mrs Right, and I'm prepared to throw a lot of dice.' The advantages of DateMySchool (and any other online dating service) over meatspace dating is that you have a larger pool (in theory) of people to choose from and it absorbs less time; the disadvantages are that you won't know if there's any real sparks between a potential date & you until you've actually met (which usually means you have to do a lot more dating), and it is really frustrating / dissuading to send out wave after wave of messages with no reply (which you need to do fairly often).

    With Love and Courage
    k-mapsKristmas Kthulhucabsy
  • k-mapsk-maps I wish I could find the Karnaugh map for love. 2^<3Registered User regular
    The Ender wrote: »
    *Watches promo video*

    Okay. Well, what they apparently have to offer over other dating sites is, 'everyone will laugh at you if you use dating sites' and 'there's all those creepers out there'. Frankly, that is an idiotic 'advantage', because exactly the same problems will be present on this website.

    Just to experiment with their vetting process, which seems to be, 'as long as you have a .edu email address, you're legit', I signed-up an account claiming to be an MiT student. Yup, legit, according to their system, even though I live on Vancouver Island and have never set foot on MiT's campus.


    This is just like any other dating website, but with a weaksauce vetting filter that hardly guarantees the quality of any suitor. If you feel more comfortable using it than using another service, go right ahead - but don't be deceived into thinking it somehow offers a superior experience. Your expectation should be (just like with any dating site): 'I'm going to throw the dice until I meet Mr / Mrs Right, and I'm prepared to throw a lot of dice.' The advantages of DateMySchool (and any other online dating service) over meatspace dating is that you have a larger pool (in theory) of people to choose from and it absorbs less time; the disadvantages are that you won't know if there's any real sparks between a potential date & you until you've actually met (which usually means you have to do a lot more dating), and it is really frustrating / dissuading to send out wave after wave of messages with no reply (which you need to do fairly often).

    Thanks, I more or less share your sentiments; although, I think there is an advantage so long as its still fairly new as there are fewer people using it, less fraud, etc. However, it is unlikely for you to meet someone outside your school, as you can filter by the domain name, and also you'd have to mount a pretty elaborate con to pull that off on someone. I think I might use it tentatively as another much needed avenue of socialization within my campus, but not hang too much hopes on it in terms of finding a potential mate.

  • The EnderThe Ender Registered User regular
    Thanks, I more or less share your sentiments; although, I think there is an advantage so long as its still fairly new as there are fewer people using it, less fraud, etc.

    I don't agree; in fact, in my experience, newer social media outlets tend to have slightly more fraud than established ones.

    That being said, for sure, dive in if the experience just makes you feel more comfortable.

    With Love and Courage
  • k-mapsk-maps I wish I could find the Karnaugh map for love. 2^<3Registered User regular
    Also, it just occurred to me that this certain social media researcher's paradise, of which there are many who would totally use my address. That's most likely it.

  • admanbadmanb unionize your workplace Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    You're a lot better off on OKCupid if you want to dip your toes into online dating.

    LaOs
  • GafotoGafoto Registered User regular
    admanb wrote: »
    You're a lot better off on OKCupid if you want to dip your toes into online dating.

    Yep. I met my current girlfriend there. Been dating her for a year and a half now. You get out of it what you put in.

    Online dating is a normal thing now, get over it.

    sierracrest.jpg
    LaOsKristmas Kthulhu
  • k-mapsk-maps I wish I could find the Karnaugh map for love. 2^<3Registered User regular
    admanb wrote: »
    You're a lot better off on OKCupid if you want to dip your toes into online dating.

    because it is more well-established? wider net?

  • The EnderThe Ender Registered User regular
    because it is more well-established? wider net?

    Mostly, yes. Plenty of Fish is also pretty good these days, if you can get over the Angelfire aesthetic.

    There's also something to be said about OkC and PoF having good reputations, which means that people who use them tend to be prepared for something serious.

    With Love and Courage
  • LostNinjaLostNinja Registered User regular
    The internet dating thread here in the debate and discourse forum might have some people with more experience in this area, maybe some of them have used datemyschool or can point you towards a better sight and help dissuade you of any stigma you have against online dating. Other than that, the summer is almost over, you could just wait a month until you are closer together and then try asking out the girl you think tried to invite you to that site avoiding the whole online thing all together.

    LaOs
  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    Gafoto wrote: »
    admanb wrote: »
    You're a lot better off on OKCupid if you want to dip your toes into online dating.

    Yep. I met my current girlfriend there. Been dating her for a year and a half now. You get out of it what you put in.

    Online dating is a normal thing now, get over it.

    Pretty much this. I've been with quite a few people I've met online, with extremely mixed results. You have to be careful, but that's true of anything. Personally, I find it much easier to develop a rapport with someone when I don't have to worry about where I'm looking, what I'm doing with my hands, or whether my hair has decided it's going to respect the laws of gravity today.

    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
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