I have a friend who is trans, but is also manic-depressive, heavily into the BDSM scene and constantly in abusive relationships, and a heavy user of anything narcotic he can get his hands on. To be completely honest I have trouble separating the trans issues out from the nightmare cocktail anytime we talk. It is such a tangled web of things I want to be supportive of and things that are obviously damaging.
I suspect we're still friends largely because the relationship is totally internet-based at this point; I don't know if I could deal with interacting in-person. I'm just perpetually torn between wanting to be a friend who hasn't jumped ship and abandoned the dude and being terrified of involving myself in the swirling vortex of clusterfuck, so I keep cheerleading from the safe distance of facebook messages and telling him to stay hydrated.
To pull things back on-topic, I worry that I'm developing a huge negative perception of trans individuals or anything alt-lifestyle because of this friend; as a straight white dude on some level I have to fight back the idea that anything different is strange and ugly and bad, so it doesn't help when the majority of the feedback I'm getting is that yes, it is.
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MetalbourneInside a cluster b personalityRegistered Userregular
I have a friend who is trans, but is also manic-depressive, heavily into the BDSM scene and constantly in abusive relationships, and a heavy user of anything narcotic he can get his hands on. To be completely honest I have trouble separating the trans issues out from the nightmare cocktail anytime we talk. It is such a tangled web of things I want to be supportive of and things that are obviously damaging.
I suspect we're still friends largely because the relationship is totally internet-based at this point; I don't know if I could deal with interacting in-person. I'm just perpetually torn between wanting to be a friend who hasn't jumped ship and abandoned the dude and being terrified of involving myself in the swirling vortex of clusterfuck, so I keep cheerleading from the safe distance of facebook messages and telling him to stay hydrated.
To pull things back on-topic, I worry that I'm developing a huge negative perception of trans individuals or anything alt-lifestyle because of this friend; as a straight white dude on some level I have to fight back the idea that anything different is strange and ugly and bad, so it doesn't help when the majority of the feedback I'm getting is that yes, it is.
Well trans, manic depressive, bad relationships, drug use and bdsm are all completely separate issues. Judging all trans people based on one trans person's fuck up life is kind of...I forget the word but its bad
Yes, and I'm not trying to say I'm consciously conflating any of them with the others, but conversations like this -
"Chinese does sound really good right now, I haven't eaten all week since my girlfriend won't give me money unless we fuck. It feels super weird having a metaphorical phantom dick haha so I've been avoiding her but then again I spend it all on speed anyway lol"
- make it really difficult to have a conversation about his gender identity. It feels like an incredibly bullshit thing to say, but I guess I'm just looking for simple assurance that this friend is an outlier.
Also your friend desperately needs professional help and needs to get the hell out from their current living situation.
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mightyjongyoSour CrrmEast Bay, CaliforniaRegistered Userregular
@Molybdenum, your friend is definitely an outlier. I understand where you're coming from though, I had a similar experience where a trans friend thought my friends and I were bullying him because he was trans, and not, in fact, because we didn't want to be friends with an asshat. He wrote an editorial piece on trans bullying based on this false account. It's really sad to say but I had trouble separating the two issues until I met more trans people (on this forum, actually).
Basically, once, I knew a horrible person. He happened to be trans. Molyb, you know someone with a lot of issues. His being trans has nothing to do with it.
I wanted my senior thesis to be about something cool that Russia did. Like their part in the space race! That shit is cool! I want to write a history paper about bad-ass cosmonauts.
But then they pull all this anti LGBT shit out, which totally crushed any chances I've had at studying abroad over there.
UGH
RUSSIA
WHY
Miss me? Find me on:
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Also your friend desperately needs professional help and needs to get the hell out from their current living situation.
To clarify - I'm not trying to say all trans people are a hot mess until proven otherwise, which would be hateful goose noises.
He can't afford counseling because of the drug problem, can't get a job because of drug testing and a gruesome employment record. His parents are supportive of treatment for manic-depressive but keep trying to find a therapist who will try to convince him he isn't a dude, since (as he tells it) they view the drug abuse and his identifying as male to be a result of the disorder. He fuels the drug problem by finding people who will pay in cash/drugs for kink stuff or sleeping with (typically male) dealers, since the hardware is female. My interactions with him are basically talking about and trying to support his transition, writing hobby, and degree. I remind him to eat and drink and get STD screened pretty often.
Just as you can't generalize the trans community, you can't generalize any other group of people in the queer community (or any community, really) without misrepresentation
there are many trans people who are pissed off beyond belief at the more widely covered gays and lesbians
which I find identical to much of the backlash against allies
case by case basis, pretty much
like any time you hear that trans people need to "wait their turn," that's a load of bullshit that you can legimately get all kinds of pissed-off about
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Brovid Hasselsmof[Growling historic on the fury road]Registered Userregular
It might because a lot of my tv watching is sitcoms i've never seen a positive representation on the tv. Usually the episode goes as such:
Old friend is back in toy! Character is happy to see old friend.
Oh hey who is this model who trying to act? Oh that is old friend but they used to be a dude!
Character feels awkward but eventually reconciles that it is more important for their friend to be who they are.
Friend announces they are glad to be tolerated, and that they have a date. Cue gullible Character to pick them up and Character questioning if they should inform gullible character. undermining all credibility the episode had.
In short, what I saw of Transamerica seemed pretty good, but i didn't finish watch it and then forgot it existed until this very moment.
Laverne cox in orange is the new black is definitely a pretty good portrayal.
I also liked Alexis Meade in Ugly Betty. Bitch was crazy-evil, but they got quite a few things right (though some things not-right too).
Also kinda liked the episode in drop dead diva with a trans woman.
What are some media representations of trans people that you found inspiring or positive, and what about them did you enjoy?
The last trans person on tv that I saw was quagmires dad. She took a lot of completely realistic reactions to her condition with an awesome amount of dignity and grace which made everyone else seem like an utter ass for acting that way.
Unfortunately I don't consume enough media to see that many other trans people. I guess Bridget is okay, although he seems a little campy but he falls into the guilty gear aesthetic pretty well. Unapologetic about his habit or his habits, doesn't need to seek validation. Strong person even if they're not a strong character.
I got a different impression from that family guy episode
watching one of those oh-so-hilarious overly extended jokes where Brian was throwing up because he slept with Quagmire's mom
Orange is the New Black is pretty good
and I appreciate that America's Next Top Model has included a few transladies (now that they're including guys, I hope a transguy is included in the future)
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Big Red Tiebeautiful clydesdale style feettoo hot to trotRegistered Userregular
What are some media representations of trans people that you found inspiring or positive, and what about them did you enjoy?
The last trans person on tv that I saw was quagmires dad. She took a lot of completely realistic reactions to her condition with an awesome amount of dignity and grace which made everyone else seem like an utter ass for acting that way.
Unfortunately I don't consume enough media to see that many other trans people. I guess Bridget is okay, although he seems a little campy but he falls into the guilty gear aesthetic pretty well. Unapologetic about his habit or his habits, doesn't need to seek validation. Strong person even if they're not a strong character.
And everyone's gay for Bridget so there's that
bridget's pretty good from the last tier list i saw
the trans character in Orange is the New Black is alright with the caveat that there's likely no way she'd actually wind up in a women's prison in real life and as such she'd be constantly subject to threats of sexual and physical violence
Slight off topic, Is it wrong that I'm slightly against Russia losing the Olympics? Like I want them rung over the coals and etc for being bigotted jerkfaces
But , if they lose the Olympics, we get them again, and screw that! ( I'm outside Vancouver)
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I suspect we're still friends largely because the relationship is totally internet-based at this point; I don't know if I could deal with interacting in-person. I'm just perpetually torn between wanting to be a friend who hasn't jumped ship and abandoned the dude and being terrified of involving myself in the swirling vortex of clusterfuck, so I keep cheerleading from the safe distance of facebook messages and telling him to stay hydrated.
To pull things back on-topic, I worry that I'm developing a huge negative perception of trans individuals or anything alt-lifestyle because of this friend; as a straight white dude on some level I have to fight back the idea that anything different is strange and ugly and bad, so it doesn't help when the majority of the feedback I'm getting is that yes, it is.
3DS: 0447-9966-6178
Well trans, manic depressive, bad relationships, drug use and bdsm are all completely separate issues. Judging all trans people based on one trans person's fuck up life is kind of...I forget the word but its bad
"Chinese does sound really good right now, I haven't eaten all week since my girlfriend won't give me money unless we fuck. It feels super weird having a metaphorical phantom dick haha so I've been avoiding her but then again I spend it all on speed anyway lol"
- make it really difficult to have a conversation about his gender identity. It feels like an incredibly bullshit thing to say, but I guess I'm just looking for simple assurance that this friend is an outlier.
3DS: 0447-9966-6178
Also your friend desperately needs professional help and needs to get the hell out from their current living situation.
Basically, once, I knew a horrible person. He happened to be trans. Molyb, you know someone with a lot of issues. His being trans has nothing to do with it.
I wanted my senior thesis to be about something cool that Russia did. Like their part in the space race! That shit is cool! I want to write a history paper about bad-ass cosmonauts.
But then they pull all this anti LGBT shit out, which totally crushed any chances I've had at studying abroad over there.
UGH
RUSSIA
WHY
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
for reasons I go into later
but there's some ideas floating around that I just can't get behind in the community at large
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
To clarify - I'm not trying to say all trans people are a hot mess until proven otherwise, which would be hateful goose noises.
He can't afford counseling because of the drug problem, can't get a job because of drug testing and a gruesome employment record. His parents are supportive of treatment for manic-depressive but keep trying to find a therapist who will try to convince him he isn't a dude, since (as he tells it) they view the drug abuse and his identifying as male to be a result of the disorder. He fuels the drug problem by finding people who will pay in cash/drugs for kink stuff or sleeping with (typically male) dealers, since the hardware is female. My interactions with him are basically talking about and trying to support his transition, writing hobby, and degree. I remind him to eat and drink and get STD screened pretty often.
3DS: 0447-9966-6178
Before joining these forums, I could legitimately say I'd never encountered a trans person I'd want to spend an evening at a bar or meal with.
I'm not metalbourne but I'm going to guess "fairly ok"
To the point where you ask a gay activist "well where do trans people fit into this?"
But no more or less because not all gay activists are leaving us high and dry
there are many trans people who are pissed off beyond belief at the more widely covered gays and lesbians
which I find identical to much of the backlash against allies
case by case basis, pretty much
like any time you hear that trans people need to "wait their turn," that's a load of bullshit that you can legimately get all kinds of pissed-off about
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
To crush gender expectations, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their supporters
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Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
nothing
tumblr | instagram | twitter | steam
that's kinda cool if you're into that sorta thing?
Old friend is back in toy! Character is happy to see old friend.
Oh hey who is this model who trying to act? Oh that is old friend but they used to be a dude!
Character feels awkward but eventually reconciles that it is more important for their friend to be who they are.
Friend announces they are glad to be tolerated, and that they have a date. Cue gullible Character to pick them up and Character questioning if they should inform gullible character. undermining all credibility the episode had.
In short, what I saw of Transamerica seemed pretty good, but i didn't finish watch it and then forgot it existed until this very moment.
I also liked Alexis Meade in Ugly Betty. Bitch was crazy-evil, but they got quite a few things right (though some things not-right too).
Also kinda liked the episode in drop dead diva with a trans woman.
The last trans person on tv that I saw was quagmires dad. She took a lot of completely realistic reactions to her condition with an awesome amount of dignity and grace which made everyone else seem like an utter ass for acting that way.
Unfortunately I don't consume enough media to see that many other trans people. I guess Bridget is okay, although he seems a little campy but he falls into the guilty gear aesthetic pretty well. Unapologetic about his habit or his habits, doesn't need to seek validation. Strong person even if they're not a strong character.
And everyone's gay for Bridget so there's that
watching one of those oh-so-hilarious overly extended jokes where Brian was throwing up because he slept with Quagmire's mom
Orange is the New Black is pretty good
and I appreciate that America's Next Top Model has included a few transladies (now that they're including guys, I hope a transguy is included in the future)
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
don't sweat it
I have a feeling many of them were looking for an excuse to go
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Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
tumblr | instagram | twitter | steam
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XBox LIVE: Bogestrom | Destiny
PSN: Bogestrom
the entirety of the decision of where to send a trans person is based on what genitals they're equipped with
because of course that's going to stop sexual assault mmhmm yep sure
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shut down all prisons
bam cutting the gordian knot over here
throw them in the laundry-brig!
those that make it back have earned their freedom
But , if they lose the Olympics, we get them again, and screw that! ( I'm outside Vancouver)