i still like people here but forum posting seems so hollow. Mike made it so easy to walk away though. bye haters.
by haters (heh) do you mean just mike because he doesn't read the forum
I think about killing myself pretty much every day. I won't actually go through with it due to how much it would ruin the lives of my family, but at least once but usually more than once a day i'll think "yeah, everyone sure would be better off if I had never existed in the first place." My life is pretty much a purgatory of shit that will likely never get better but I can't make it stop because i'm not selfish enough to cause other people pain for my benefit.
hey talk to someone about it
a psychiatrist or a friend or so!meone on the forums (or all three if that's a thing!)
please
youre worth so much more than you think
When i was like 8 i was diagnosed with tourettes syndrome and it terrified me. i thought for a really long time that i wouldn't get to do things normal people do or have friends or get married one day or be able to drive cars without crashing or crazy sounding shit like that. to this day i have never told anyone ever under ANY circumstances that I have this out of fear of what they'll think of me, and the only people that know are my immediate family. i developed good self-control b/c of it tho
BillyIdleWhat does "katana" mean?It means "Japanese sword."Registered Userregular
edited October 2013
I confess that I might be in over my head with a lot of things, but damn it I'm doing the best I can with what I have!
edit: things are going well, I just am getting used to working full time and school full time. Going back to school after taking a year off really is a new workload I was not expecting.
BillyIdle on
PSN: BillyIdle_
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PiptheFairFrequently not in boats.Registered Userregular
yo if you are even remotely considering suicide, please talk to somebody
anybody
preferably a professional or close friend or family
I've walked out of churches left and right in the middle of services and it scares me, because that was the one thing I had as a cornerstone in my personality.
Confession: I recently reunited with an ex girlfriend and now we're going out again, doing the whole long distance relationship thing for the time being until such a time when I can move closer to her. When we were together just about a week ago she brought up that she thought of me often and came across an actor who was in several black and white movies who I reminded her of. She said that she went through a few of his movies in one day thinking about me and the whole thing was really sweet.
I didn't want to admit that she reminded me of a couple women in particular, both of whom are from amateur porn videos, and that I would think about her while watching them from time to time.
I'm 42, I live with my parents due to money issues after my divorce 9 years ago and surgery in 2007, I'm unable to exercise much and broke constantly and I hate my job. My wages are being garnished for the student loan I couldn't afford to pay. And because of all this, I have no romantic prospects except one woman who is not at all attractive and gave me gonorrhea last year. Also, I'm pretty sure I have been depressed since 2001. I see no light at the end of this tunnel.
I'm under a lot of stress lately, and it's so fucking tempting to lapse back into disordered eating. I know it's wrong and it's not healthy, but being "better" isn't making me happy so why keep trying? The only thing keeping me eating right now is I don't want to look like a quitter, and I don't know if that's enough of a reason.
i'm not gonna be able to provide a comment for every confession but if anyone can offer anything up for any confessions posted please do not hesitate to do so
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Blake TDo you have enemies then?Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered Userregular
valhalla13013 Dark Shield Perceives the GodsRegistered Userregular
I don't have a lot of friends in real life. I could have more, but there aren't a lot of people who invite me to things, and I hate to invite myself. As a consequence, I tend to live on these forums, and say stupid things. Then I get worried that people will hate me and not want to talk to me anymore.
When I was in junior high I wrote a phone number on my hand so it would look like I was cool enough to get someone's phone number.
It turned out that the number belonged to the boyfriend of a girl in my class and she saw the number and thought her boyfriend was cheating on her and spent the rest of the day crying.
When I was in junior high I wrote a phone number on my hand so it would look like I was cool enough to get someone's phone number.
It turned out that the number belonged to the boyfriend of a girl in my class and she saw the number and thought her boyfriend was cheating on her and spent the rest of the day crying.
confession i have a big fucking lab report due first thing tomorrow and because of all the exams i've had this week i haven't started it and i am sick and don't want to do anything but fucking sleep
I like to consider myself having my life together, and carry myself as such, but, my job is strictly temporary and will at maximum be over 3 and a half years from now and in 8 months my girlfriend will be moving 6,000 miles away from me.
And I have no idea what to do after either of these events transpire.
I really miss having sex, bottoming gave the most intense sensations and orgasms. I'd like to go do the casual sex thing but I'm just not quite wired right to enjoy the period afterwards so I avoid that and I haven't been able to bring myself to try dating again. I wish I lived alone so spicing up jerkin' it by using some toys was less of a hassle.
I post a lot but sometimes it feels like I'm on the outside looking in on some sort of clique. It's not anyone's fault but my own, but it can be depressing feeling that left out sometimes.
just post we do not bite
i got in with everyone by posting awful crap and you can too!
I've been posting here for a while (several years) and I just haven't really gotten/felt accepted into the community like folks talk about and it makes me sad.
have you tried posting your balls
+9
KwoaruConfident SmirkFlawless Golden PecsRegistered Userregular
No matter how gross it is, I love the feeling of popping a zit
sometimes there will be weird threads that have the same title for MONTHS and i don't know what they are and i never go into them but the title gets stuck in my head in a weird way
I lurk SE++ all the time because it's pretty great, but I can never get comfortable with the idea of trying to hang out here and such because I have low opinions on my ability to fit in. Mostly because my confidence in having relationships with people has mostly been shot due to more or less losing just about all of my friends in the past year.
sometimes there will be weird threads that have the same title for MONTHS and i don't know what they are and i never go into them but the title gets stuck in my head in a weird way
along these lines:
the bout of bracket hate that SE went through a while back was just the most annoying thing
use the other hundred characters if you want to be clever, but use 10 of them to tell me what the thread actually fucking is
it really sucks to hear this. as someone who has only interacted with you like twice, and online at that, I want you to know that you're a beautiful person with a partner who cares deeply about you. keep existing and being the fantastic person you are, because when you exist things can always get better
i continue to be terrified that i will never find anything in life fulfilling because deep down all i actually want to do is lay in bed and eat junk food and play video games all day every day until i die and any pretense towards something resembling a respectable life goal is just a bad attempt to hide from the sad sad truth
yo, real talk. I think we have a similar thing. you, at least, feel enough to be justifiably terrified of it, whereas I just kind of ignore it
all I can say is to keep searching for the something that you find fulfilling and to know that discipline is learned over time, not this quality that you just have. like anything, really, start small
considering i'm not actually employed it's debatable whether or not i even do anything
i claim i want to be a writer but i cant make myself sit down and write because of a shitty attention span
yeahhh. you're surrounded by all of this distracting shit which manages to be more interesting than whatever story or topic you've come up with. or at least, if not interesting, more immediately satisfying
all I can say is... it doesn't mean that you aren't actually cut out to be a writer. it just means it's harder for you and people like you than it has been for anyone else, historically speaking. you probably even know that, I just wanted to say it
sorry if I'm being embarrassing. I just empathize with you motherfuckers pretty deeply right now. be alright, at the very least, every goddamn one of you
Posts
hey talk to someone about it
a psychiatrist or a friend or so!meone on the forums (or all three if that's a thing!)
please
youre worth so much more than you think
silver lining!
and have gotten fat enough that i have a difficult time fitting into the seats
because i'm fucking awful
http://www.audioentropy.com/
I've just started retaking my own brain spider pills and it'll be great when my headspace gets somewhat less totally fucked
edit: things are going well, I just am getting used to working full time and school full time. Going back to school after taking a year off really is a new workload I was not expecting.
anybody
preferably a professional or close friend or family
http://www.audioentropy.com/
it has been a holding pattern for years now, waiting to hit a rock bottom of unhappiness that never comes
i dont know how i get anything done
considering i'm not actually employed it's debatable whether or not i even do anything
i claim i want to be a writer but i cant make myself sit down and write because of a shitty attention span
I've walked out of churches left and right in the middle of services and it scares me, because that was the one thing I had as a cornerstone in my personality.
I didn't want to admit that she reminded me of a couple women in particular, both of whom are from amateur porn videos, and that I would think about her while watching them from time to time.
If it helps, I've 1) Been there, and 2) Really, really loved your writing in the Pacific Rim RP game going on
Plus you're the best at naming Jaegers, and that's just an objective fact
i'm not gonna be able to provide a comment for every confession but if anyone can offer anything up for any confessions posted please do not hesitate to do so
New name for jaeger.
Objective Fact.
Satans..... hints.....
It turned out that the number belonged to the boyfriend of a girl in my class and she saw the number and thought her boyfriend was cheating on her and spent the rest of the day crying.
It was the last time I ever tried to be cool.
I feel like you should derive it a little more
OBSERVABLE ACTUALITY
this owns
holy moly
I want that job not even kidding
Consider that "bro" passed on to whoever wrote that in
Talk about a dream job
-Indiana Solo, runner of blades
http://www.audioentropy.com/
And I have no idea what to do after either of these events transpire.
just post we do not bite
i got in with everyone by posting awful crap and you can too!
have you tried posting your balls
i am never not amazed at seeing things that were beneath my skin come out
the bout of bracket hate that SE went through a while back was just the most annoying thing
use the other hundred characters if you want to be clever, but use 10 of them to tell me what the thread actually fucking is
it really sucks to hear this. as someone who has only interacted with you like twice, and online at that, I want you to know that you're a beautiful person with a partner who cares deeply about you. keep existing and being the fantastic person you are, because when you exist things can always get better
yo, real talk. I think we have a similar thing. you, at least, feel enough to be justifiably terrified of it, whereas I just kind of ignore it
all I can say is to keep searching for the something that you find fulfilling and to know that discipline is learned over time, not this quality that you just have. like anything, really, start small
yeahhh. you're surrounded by all of this distracting shit which manages to be more interesting than whatever story or topic you've come up with. or at least, if not interesting, more immediately satisfying
all I can say is... it doesn't mean that you aren't actually cut out to be a writer. it just means it's harder for you and people like you than it has been for anyone else, historically speaking. you probably even know that, I just wanted to say it
sorry if I'm being embarrassing. I just empathize with you motherfuckers pretty deeply right now. be alright, at the very least, every goddamn one of you
watch out
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sYeup5zrZbs