I've always quietly worried about my grandfather's rather... "coincidental" prejudices and habits.
He's German.
Collects and reads a lot of WWI&II memorabilia and literature.
Has a rather icy demeanour towards Greeks and Jews.
Always seemed to be a little more warm and friendly to me than to my brother. (I'm blond haired and blue eyed while my bro is brown and brown)
It only usually shows after he's had a few drinks, but... yeah.
I've always quietly worried about my grandfather's rather... "coincidental" prejudices and habits.
He's German.
Collects and reads a lot of WWI&II memorabilia and literature.
Has a rather icy demeanour towards Greeks and Jews.
Always seemed to be a little more warm and friendly to me than to my brother. (I'm blond haired and blue eyed while my bro is brown and brown)
It only usually shows after he's had a few drinks, but... yeah.
getting to where i am versus where i was is why my mannerisms, habits and demeanor bother people if exposed long enough
in that world, these people usually beat the shit out of one another drunkenly, and would do idiot drunken challenges as tests of hillbilly courage
we would jump and run over huge bonfires already raging and in progress
we would shoot clay dangerously while idiotically drunk
liver destroying keg stands and literal dick waving contests where people would get sad and compliment my dick in sad voices
im pretty sure ive got the family's biggest dick. the terrifying part of this that has me pushing my fingers into my eyes is, ive seen most of my male family's dicks
rural michigan was like some sort of soy bean field laden mos eisley, with internalized misogyny, racism and disgusting poor hating other poor people. a good portion of these people don't know much beyond a sixth grade education, and that's being forgiving. literally every bit of these years has been washing that off of me and trying undo it. my doctor said i'd be crying a lot, and to be ready for it. it can be terrible and unsettling
i felt it a welcome change, like being able to articulate what you couldnt before. i was kicked and beaten into the mold and you know, kinda scared into silence about what i know now as something that was stuffed deep down into the subconscious
I also had to go through a transition of sorts, after graduating high school and moving in with my Mom full-time instead of every other weekend.
Spoilered for length.
Living with my Dad, alone, for seven years (Save every other weekend with mom), had some effects on me to say the least.
It certainly did nothing to make me more active and outdoors, and I've spent the vast majority of my free time since those days living in my room. Mostly quiet, except when I get mad at video games. :P
It was a while before I stopped feeling the need to lie about things all the time to my Mom, because unlike my Dad, there was no reason to assume she'd lose her shit if I happened to catch her at the wrong time.
It also took a while for me to really understand that it was okay to just... ask if she could help me out with getting things, instead of just taking them without asking. I was borderline klepto for years, partially because he just didn't give two shits about anything I wanted a lot of the time and I eventually just gave up trying to get anything by asking.
Another big step, probably one of the biggest
I had to learn to stop being angry at myself over every dang thing I did wrong. Dad trained that into me something fierce, and it made me terrified to try anything if there wasn't a 100% certainty that I would succeed at it.
I also didn't learn about my Aspergers until I was 18, just months before I moved out. Adjusting to that took a lot of time, too. Learning all the nuance of interacting with people; eye contact, body language, hand movements or lack thereof, posture, tone of voice, choice of wording, etc. I basically had to learn it all trial by error.
Then there was that whole writing stint I went through that started in 2006 when I got a comic idea that led to me deciding to go back to school, which led to me deciding to get back on medication so I could manage said school, which led to me discovering musical talent, which... well, that was one of the biggest breakthroughs I've ever had in my life, and I'm pretty happy about that.
There was also that confrontation I had with my Dad where I tried to talk to him and basically got the finger. So I gave him a much MUCH bigger finger and never looked back. I won't go into that here, but you can find that story elsewhere if you look around. Also check that link I posted earlier to a post I made in the bully thread, that should have it if you're really interested.
One huge part, that has helped me SO much in making peace with myself was just.. learning how to laugh at myself. To not take myself too seriously. After living with Dad and his (mostly) verbal abuse for so long made it really hard to feel good about anything without some negative shit poking at me in the back of my head, but I eventually learned to just not care so much and hvae a laugh at how silly and dumb I can be, and it was just a hugely liberating thing for me.
And a big part of that is all because of you guys. You guys are great.
Just.. thanks for being awesome.
Switch Friend Code: SW-6680-6709-4204
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The GeekOh-Two Crew, OmeganautRegistered User, ClubPAregular
Unfortunately this immortality comes with no form of invincibility, eternal youthfulness, or specifically good health
in fact, I appear to have an inverse cost where I will have many forms of physical and mental afflictions imposed upon me by an uncaring universe, which I will completely survive
I am currently experiencing a manic episode. It is unpleasant. I took an ativan to attempt to lock this shit down. Let's see if it works. If it does, I'll be able to get some sleep. If not? Welp.
My left shoulder has deteriorated to shit. It hurts to lift my kids. I know I'll need surgery eventually on it.
My knees sometimes decide to just say "fuck YOU" and not work for a step or two and I do a weird hobble dance to get them back in check
I know I'm breathing shit at work that'll give me cancer of some sort to another eventually.
Oh and also fuck Alzheimer's. I'm scared to death of it. It runs like a big pissed off freight train through my moms side of the family. Killed my grandpa and 8 o his brothers and sisters. My mom is starting to show early early signs and I'm fucking terrified to forget anything because "what if this is the start of it? What if it's all downhill from here?"
The other day I talked to someone I haven't talked to in... like a decade. Having a "let's catch up: How have you been for the last decade?" conversation is really weird and old-feeling.
I'm starting to think I'm incapable of having a conversation like this (or at least initiating one) because I'll pick up friendships exactly where they left off, no matter how much time has gone by. Kind of a toss up as to whether it annoys the person I'm speaking with.
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HacksawJ. Duggan Esq.Wrestler at LawRegistered Userregular
The older I get, the more worried I am that I won't die gloriously in battle and spend the rest of eternity feasting and fighting in the halls of Valhalla.
Odin save me, I have the steel, but not the opportunities!
Unfortunately this immortality comes with no form of invincibility, eternal youthfulness, or specifically good health
in fact, I appear to have an inverse cost where I will have many forms of physical and mental afflictions imposed upon me by an uncaring universe, which I will completely survive
I had time to feel old for about all of 10 seconds, before my back reminded my that it hates me and my hips creaked when I stood up to try and crack it
Funny thing is, that's been happening to me my whole life (gogo hip dysplasia)
Unfortunately this immortality comes with no form of invincibility, eternal youthfulness, or specifically good health
in fact, I appear to have an inverse cost where I will have many forms of physical and mental afflictions imposed upon me by an uncaring universe, which I will completely survive
Seems kinda bullshit
So, like
Mother 3 Porky?
[Always use a robot to timetravel
I have a podcast now. It's about video games and anime!Find it here.
I own one, but I never played Mario Party, so no scar. I did wear my thumb smooth during marathon Goldeneye sessions a few times though.
That is acceptable
Seriously, though, about getting older... I am in better shape - mentally, emotionally, and physically than I was 10 years ago.
I am the happiest I have ever been in my life, I'm in an amazing relationship, and... hell, I even look younger than I did when I was 20
Fuck, guys, I think I'm doing this "getting old" thing backwards
EDIT: Oh, also, I think the music nowadays is a million times better than what I used to listen to
Caedere on
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Donovan PuppyfuckerA dagger in the dark isworth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered Userregular
I used to use the lowest part of the tip of my thumb near the knuckle joint to press X and O on the PS controller, and the tip of my thumb to press ■ and ▲.
I developed quite the callous on the joint on that thumb.
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Blake TDo you have enemies then?Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered Userregular
I own one, but I never played Mario Party, so no scar. I did wear my thumb smooth during marathon Goldeneye sessions a few times though.
We used to do a thing where you spawn just two people on a map, usually Complex, with Golden Guns only. Then you walk right up to each other, turn around and pace ten steps, just like a duel. Then, while the two players are facing away from one another, you put the N64 controllers down on the floor, and two players go out of the room, upstairs to the furthest point in the house away from the TV. One person shouts 'duel' and the two participants have to sprint down the stairs, battling one another to get their controller and turn around to fire the one shot needed to kill.
Anyway, long story short, in the mad scramble to get to the controllers, one time my friend slid on a rug and went face first into a glass VCR cabinet under the TV. So in terms of Goldeneye injuries, he pretty much wins. Plus, we made him play as Trevelyan from then on because of the marks on his face.
The older I get, the more worried I am that I won't die gloriously in battle and spend the rest of eternity feasting and fighting in the halls of Valhalla.
Odin save me, I have the steel, but not the opportunities!
Steel is not strong, boy! Flesh is stronger! What is steel compared to the hand that wields it?
The older I get, the more worried I am that I won't die gloriously in battle and spend the rest of eternity feasting and fighting in the halls of Valhalla.
Odin save me, I have the steel, but not the opportunities!
Steel is not strong, boy! Flesh is stronger! What is steel compared to the hand that wields it?
Posts
He's German.
Collects and reads a lot of WWI&II memorabilia and literature.
Has a rather icy demeanour towards Greeks and Jews.
Always seemed to be a little more warm and friendly to me than to my brother. (I'm blond haired and blue eyed while my bro is brown and brown)
It only usually shows after he's had a few drinks, but... yeah.
Steam ID - VeldrinD | SS Post | Wishlist
I also had to go through a transition of sorts, after graduating high school and moving in with my Mom full-time instead of every other weekend.
Spoilered for length.
It certainly did nothing to make me more active and outdoors, and I've spent the vast majority of my free time since those days living in my room. Mostly quiet, except when I get mad at video games. :P
It was a while before I stopped feeling the need to lie about things all the time to my Mom, because unlike my Dad, there was no reason to assume she'd lose her shit if I happened to catch her at the wrong time.
It also took a while for me to really understand that it was okay to just... ask if she could help me out with getting things, instead of just taking them without asking. I was borderline klepto for years, partially because he just didn't give two shits about anything I wanted a lot of the time and I eventually just gave up trying to get anything by asking.
Another big step, probably one of the biggest
I had to learn to stop being angry at myself over every dang thing I did wrong. Dad trained that into me something fierce, and it made me terrified to try anything if there wasn't a 100% certainty that I would succeed at it.
I also didn't learn about my Aspergers until I was 18, just months before I moved out. Adjusting to that took a lot of time, too. Learning all the nuance of interacting with people; eye contact, body language, hand movements or lack thereof, posture, tone of voice, choice of wording, etc. I basically had to learn it all trial by error.
Then there was that whole writing stint I went through that started in 2006 when I got a comic idea that led to me deciding to go back to school, which led to me deciding to get back on medication so I could manage said school, which led to me discovering musical talent, which... well, that was one of the biggest breakthroughs I've ever had in my life, and I'm pretty happy about that.
There was also that confrontation I had with my Dad where I tried to talk to him and basically got the finger. So I gave him a much MUCH bigger finger and never looked back. I won't go into that here, but you can find that story elsewhere if you look around. Also check that link I posted earlier to a post I made in the bully thread, that should have it if you're really interested.
One huge part, that has helped me SO much in making peace with myself was just.. learning how to laugh at myself. To not take myself too seriously. After living with Dad and his (mostly) verbal abuse for so long made it really hard to feel good about anything without some negative shit poking at me in the back of my head, but I eventually learned to just not care so much and hvae a laugh at how silly and dumb I can be, and it was just a hugely liberating thing for me.
And a big part of that is all because of you guys. You guys are great.
Just.. thanks for being awesome.
Do you dab?
Unfortunately this immortality comes with no form of invincibility, eternal youthfulness, or specifically good health
in fact, I appear to have an inverse cost where I will have many forms of physical and mental afflictions imposed upon me by an uncaring universe, which I will completely survive
Seems kinda bullshit
My left shoulder has deteriorated to shit. It hurts to lift my kids. I know I'll need surgery eventually on it.
My knees sometimes decide to just say "fuck YOU" and not work for a step or two and I do a weird hobble dance to get them back in check
I know I'm breathing shit at work that'll give me cancer of some sort to another eventually.
Oh and also fuck Alzheimer's. I'm scared to death of it. It runs like a big pissed off freight train through my moms side of the family. Killed my grandpa and 8 o his brothers and sisters. My mom is starting to show early early signs and I'm fucking terrified to forget anything because "what if this is the start of it? What if it's all downhill from here?"
I'm starting to think I'm incapable of having a conversation like this (or at least initiating one) because I'll pick up friendships exactly where they left off, no matter how much time has gone by. Kind of a toss up as to whether it annoys the person I'm speaking with.
Odin save me, I have the steel, but not the opportunities!
So, like
Mother 3 Porky?
I had time to feel old for about all of 10 seconds, before my back reminded my that it hates me and my hips creaked when I stood up to try and crack it
Funny thing is, that's been happening to me my whole life (gogo hip dysplasia)
[Always use a robot to timetravel
Let us see your hands
Anyone without a circular scar in the middle of their palm is a filthy liar.
Seriously, though, about getting older... I am in better shape - mentally, emotionally, and physically than I was 10 years ago.
I am the happiest I have ever been in my life, I'm in an amazing relationship, and... hell, I even look younger than I did when I was 20
Fuck, guys, I think I'm doing this "getting old" thing backwards
EDIT: Oh, also, I think the music nowadays is a million times better than what I used to listen to
I developed quite the callous on the joint on that thumb.
This is a lie.
Satans..... hints.....
It... wasn't caused by a controller.
Steam ID - VeldrinD | SS Post | Wishlist
Never grew back quite right
Never shoulda done that barrel roll
You shoulda have left slippy to die bro
I once had hallucinations after staying up for forty hours playing star fox 64
Satans..... hints.....
I am going to see my father in a couple of weeks to determine whether or not he can continue to live on his own.
fuck not being autonomous
We used to do a thing where you spawn just two people on a map, usually Complex, with Golden Guns only. Then you walk right up to each other, turn around and pace ten steps, just like a duel. Then, while the two players are facing away from one another, you put the N64 controllers down on the floor, and two players go out of the room, upstairs to the furthest point in the house away from the TV. One person shouts 'duel' and the two participants have to sprint down the stairs, battling one another to get their controller and turn around to fire the one shot needed to kill.
Anyway, long story short, in the mad scramble to get to the controllers, one time my friend slid on a rug and went face first into a glass VCR cabinet under the TV. So in terms of Goldeneye injuries, he pretty much wins. Plus, we made him play as Trevelyan from then on because of the marks on his face.
Steel is not strong, boy! Flesh is stronger! What is steel compared to the hand that wields it?
The cutting of other flesh part.
I just realized
I think a LARGE part of what makes people look aged and shit is smoking
None of the people I know who abstain from smoking look "old", and pretty much everyone I know who does does
so, that sucks
Never give in to your body's demands. We do not negotiate with terrorists. Do not let it dictate what you can do.
whoa dang
gonna be honest, I thought he had already died for some reason
shit still sucks