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I would like to have a hobby, but I'm boring and suck at things.

UncleChetUncleChet N00bLancaster, PARegistered User regular
I have tried to find and or develop multiple hobbies in the past 6 or more years. Everything from knitting to painting, photo editing to miniature war gaming. So far all I've done is waste a lot of money. Artistically, I believe I have no talent so I kind of rule that out. Tried and failed at Legos, even tried exercise that led to injury. I can cook, always have, but that's not really a hobby for me. So failing all else I play mmos way too much. I need something to help me break this trend. Creative is bonus

I'm sometimes grumpy and random, feel free to overlook the strange man in the corner.


  • IrukaIruka Registered User, Moderator mod
    Solitary hobbies are usually pursued because of a sort of unending itch that nags at you to do them. You cant, necessarily, force your self to have that itch.

    MMOs are inherently social, though. Despite being able to do it and not really interact with anyone, You tend to at least feel like you are. Perhaps you need to look for group activities rather than solitary creative activities. Having people to motivate you to continue on helps quite a bit.

    tapeslingerRawkking Goodguyh3ndu
  • NocrenNocren Lt Futz, Back in Action North CarolinaRegistered User regular

    I mean, you play mmos. Try thinking about the raids and experiences from the character's point of view then writing about it.

  • DevoutlyApatheticDevoutlyApathetic Registered User regular
    First thing, artistic hobbies aren't necessarily about being good at something so much as it is something you enjoy doing.

    Which is really the crux of it, hobbies are just things you like to do. I'm not sure what else it is you're looking for here.

  • NotYouNotYou Registered User regular
    Rock climbing
    Bird Watching
    3d art
    Water Skiiing

    I've done everything on that list before. Try giving them all a shot.

  • TychoCelchuuuTychoCelchuuu PIGEON Registered User regular
    Baking! Baking bread especially.

  • KyouguKyougu Registered User regular
    Cooking. Look up simple recipes and try them out. Then try harder stuff.

    I'll also send rock climbing.

  • Jimmy KingJimmy King Registered User regular
    Music? I play guitar currently and saxophone for many years when I was younger. I'm not that good at it, it's no big deal (being good at something seems to be part of what you're looking for). I was technically very proficient on saxophone as in I could physically play anything as long as someone else wrote it, but I was never going to write my own music of any quality. Guitar I'm even less good at because I don't even have the same physical/technical capability. No big deal, I sit in the living room by myself, no one but my wife and I hear it. I don't have to be "good" because I'm just doing something to kill time.

    Why is exercise out if you enjoyed it (it sounds like you stopped because of injury, not disliking it)? Was the injury something that means you can never safely exercise again?

    It's really a matter of seeing something, thinking it seems interesting or fun, and then just doing it. Like @iruka said, you can't really force yourself to enjoy something, though. Of course my experience with artistic and musical things is that frequently people want to just be good at something magically, but with almost anything, no matter what it is, you have to be willing to suck at it for awhile while and just keep trying and learning.

    My hobbies which have come and gone... or come and stayed over the years have been (aside from video games):
    * Skateboarding
    * Rollerblading (it was the early to mid 90s, it was cool then. shut up.)
    * Snowboarding
    * Camping
    * Playing saxophone
    * Playing guitar
    * Dungeons and Dragons
    * Collecting baseball cards
    * Collecting Dungeons and Dragons miniatures (totally separate from actively playing, I still enjoyed the miniatures)
    * Raising reptiles - you're taking responsibility for the life and well being of another creature which may live for years. Many are far more difficult to take proper care of than you might expect. That really goes for any living creature, whether it's lizards, dogs, or fish.
    * Computer programming - writing my own programs, contributing to other projects, learning different languages, etc.
    * Running a MUD
    * Running a BBS (The 90s were awesome)
    * Playing soccer
    * Playing baseball
    * Lifting weights
    * Beer - learning about the types of beer, trying different styles of beer, supporting local breweries, and when I get more free time and space I will add brewing my own beer
    * Cars - A bit of an expensive hobby. Over the years I've tried to always own at least one interesting car and fix/customize/maintain it.
    * Food - you say you've always been able to cook but it's not a hobby. My wife cooks as a hobby. Try finding recipes that are interesting for some reason; They are regional things that you never see locally, they somehow incorporate one of your other hobbies, etc. There's also finding interesting local restaurants, another thing my wife and I do.

  • noir_bloodnoir_blood Registered User regular
    edited July 2013
    I'm not sure anyone can tell you what hobbies to pick, as the most important thing is that you'll enjoy it. Most people aren't 'good' at something right off the bat. My hobby is writing, and good lord did my first couple of things suck. But I know I'd gone better. But more importantly, I enjoy doing it.

    Also, how does one fail at Lego?

    noir_blood on
  • CabezoneCabezone Registered User regular
    Have you considered looking into social hobbies? There's tons of things you can find groups of people doing that it wont' matter if you "suck" at it. I've been getting into Kayak fishing the past few years and there's a thriving community of folks dong that where I live.

  • AvrahamAvraham Registered User regular
    If you want to develop artistic skill you have to find enjoyment in the process of learning and failing. Also an art hobby doesn't have to be expensive! You can get a cheap sketchbook and some pens at the grocery store.

    :bz: :bz: :bzz:
  • UncleChetUncleChet N00b Lancaster, PARegistered User regular
    I'm Ok solitary or group as activities go. I even tried blogging, which I still short of do. Started as mostly food, now it's mostly brutal catharsis. I get stuck here at least once a year, just now I'm trying to find one different

    I'm sometimes grumpy and random, feel free to overlook the strange man in the corner.
  • Jam WarriorJam Warrior Registered User regular
    Try geocaching maybe? My family and I love it!

  • ArtreusArtreus I'm a wizard And that looks fucked upRegistered User regular
    Highly recommend Rock climbing PSN: Atlanticus 3DS: 1590-4692-3954 Steam: Artreus
  • Bliss 101Bliss 101 Registered User regular
    edited July 2013
    Seconding cooking. Also baking. It's super easy and cheap to get started with, it's extremely rewarding, and it works both as a solitary hobby and something to share with others.

    edit: Upon re-reading the OP, I see you already cook. Cook more!

    Bliss 101 on
    tapeslingerRawkking Goodguy
  • edgeofbladeedgeofblade Warlock Houston, TXRegistered User regular
    +1 to brewing. It's a gratifying pursuit.

  • CreaganCreagan Registered User regular
    I had a roommate who had the same problems trying to find a hobby. The first thing you need to do is stop thinking that you're boring and talentless, because if you develop a hobby you're passionate about you'll stop being "boring" and a lot of talent is learned.

    The second thing you need to do is think about stuff you like doing, or things you liked doing during your childhood. If you don't think you want those things to be your hobby, what is it about those things that make you enjoy them? Then look for stuff similar.

  • JurgJurg In a TeacupRegistered User regular
    Pitching in that you don't have to be good at something. It's more important that you like doing it. And improving is fun! If you were automatically awesome, you would never get the satisfaction of improving.

    I'm really into writing and performing slam poems, if you want another suggestion.

  • UncleChetUncleChet N00b Lancaster, PARegistered User regular
    Thanks for all the awesome tips folks. I'd told my happy hubby about my thoughts on "needing a hobby" and he was happy to point out that I've hit my quarterly depression swing as well. I do cook, and I'm actually teaching a color blind friend to cook as well, which, when working with different meats is kind of funny. So, we Can close the thread if need be, I do appreciate all the tips and ideas as well. Tomorrow we start walking as a hobby too =)

    I'm sometimes grumpy and random, feel free to overlook the strange man in the corner.
  • schussschuss Registered User regular
    I enjoy sucking at many things.

    Things I suck at actively:
    Rock Climbing
    Mountain Biking
    Playing vidya games

    Sucking isn't the problem. Do stuff you enjoy and you won't care that you're bad at it. For 99% of participants in a given activity, it's not really a competition; to pretend that it is competition is asinine. Go have fun.

  • QuantumTurkQuantumTurk Registered User regular
    edited July 2013

    Important thing to remember.

    QuantumTurk on
    NocrenUsagiKyougutapeslingerDerrickEndaroL Ron HowardChorazinCourtOfOwlsMahnmuth3nduShadowfireMaguano
  • ShivahnShivahn Unaware of her barrel shifter privilege Western coastal temptressRegistered User, Moderator mod
    It sounds like you start something, get bored/burn out, don't pick it up again. Me too. So if you want to work around that...

    ..yeah, don't do things solitarily. That doesn't mean don't do solitary hobbies, just... have some other reason to keep them up. Take a class in whatever - you'll show up because it's a class and that's just what you do, and you'll continue doing it.

    I have a bunch of projects that are on hiatus because I can't make myself do them right now, but I know the second I sign up for even just a general class I'll finish them. I have a piece of jewelry I've wanted to make for years and haven't, yet - I made a similar thing in a class, but it didn't turn out right, and now I just can't seem to make myself finish it, despite how important it is to me. But I intend to take a class when I finally move, and fully expect to finish it then.

    Er, that last paragraph wasn't nearly as inspiring as I meant it to be. The point is that if you can put yourself in a position where you regularly have some hobby to work on and can't really do anything else for that time period/have other people expecting you to be working on it (like a class), then you might be able to keep it up.

    It should be something you enjoy, as everyone's saying. But it does help to have it be more than a thing you just pull out from your desk when you feel like it.

  • Jam WarriorJam Warrior Registered User regular
    UncleChet wrote: »
    Thanks for all the awesome tips folks. I'd told my happy hubby about my thoughts on "needing a hobby" and he was happy to point out that I've hit my quarterly depression swing as well. I do cook, and I'm actually teaching a color blind friend to cook as well, which, when working with different meats is kind of funny. So, we Can close the thread if need be, I do appreciate all the tips and ideas as well. Tomorrow we start walking as a hobby too =)

    Walk to a Geocache! A walk is always improved by a treasure hunt goal at the end.

  • CelestialBadgerCelestialBadger Registered User regular
    Being a dilettante is also a hobby. Keep trying different things. Just make sure you start out with cheap/borrowed/second hand gear so you can quit when you get bored without breaking the bank.

  • WassermeloneWassermelone Registered User regular
    Also, apart from the perfectly apropos Jake the Dog quote -- and this may just dissuade you further from doing art -- unfortunately/fortunately that feeling of sucking doesn't really ever go away for most no matter how experienced or skilled they are.

  • UncleChetUncleChet N00b Lancaster, PARegistered User regular

    Important thing to remember.

    Wow, somehow missed that post. Thank you! I have a project idea, just need to start now.

    I'm sometimes grumpy and random, feel free to overlook the strange man in the corner.
  • EggyToastEggyToast Registered User regular
    It really is about practicing and it being about something you like doing. I saw this Youtube video a couple weeks ago and it's pretty fun. I feel that the "last day" of the video is actually kind of meh but the progression at the beginning is pretty amazing! She is practicing every day and she sees actual improvements. She's recording herself both so she can review it and so she can see her progress.

    I decided I wanted to learn to play music, and I love double bass, so I decided to try that out. It was HARD. It took me 2 years of lessons to get to the point where I could reliable even read music, and then another 2-3 years to get to the point where I could actually play and not sound terrible. I had no music training. Am I good? No. But I'm OK -- I can keep time reasonably well, my fingers "know" where most of the notes I need to use are, and I can comfortably say I "play."

    But to improve requires time and effort and training. It will often suck! Fighting the demoralization of reviewing yourself is not easy!

    || Flickr — || PSN: EggyToast
  • UncleChetUncleChet N00b Lancaster, PARegistered User regular
    You guys are SO inspiring. I've decided to throw my brain at writing, specifically, what I'm calling digi-punk, as a sub genre of cyber punk. I've got tons of inspirations, ideas, and themes. Started work on it today.

    I'm sometimes grumpy and random, feel free to overlook the strange man in the corner.
  • DerrickDerrick Registered User regular
    You could try a programming language as well.

    Steam and CFN: Enexemander
  • UncleChetUncleChet N00b Lancaster, PARegistered User regular
    @derrick I did try programming actually, several times, several languages. My problem is, without direction, it just flies right out of my brain. I have to have a "Do X" and then when that's done "Do Y". I will admit that part of my problem is that I have bipolar disorder, and my brain likes to take a shit on me at every opportunity. This writing thing though, I've actually made progress, while at work, and will continue to do so tonight at home. It actually feels right.

    I'm sometimes grumpy and random, feel free to overlook the strange man in the corner.
  • CourtOfOwlsCourtOfOwls Registered User regular
    I volunteer in a Chemistry lab at my university. I work with a graduate student there on his cancer drug research, and let me tell you I feel that I make more mistakes in one day than steps I've taken. I think what matters to me, and what has kept me from quitting, was the type of motivation. A lot of people I see in my university are motivated simply by grades rather than interest in the subject. If you are trying to be a scientist, getting good grades for the sake of being excellent than you will never be more than a really great lab technician. From what I've learned in the lab, being a scientist means being independent and being able to pursue what interests you, for you. Not for others, not for some prize, or fame, not to tell others but to tell yourself in the mirror.

    Basically I would like you to question why you are choosing something. Because when you chose something simply to be able to bring that into a conversation, the motivation to improve and ultimately stick with it (hence what a hobby is), will not be nearly as powerful. That is what, in my opinion, will make you interesting/ assuage your fears about being boring.

  • k-mapsk-maps I wish I could find the Karnaugh map for love. 2^<3Registered User regular
    Cool, I always find that the stuff I end up enjoying are the things I organically "grow into". That's not saying you might not run into a wall, but the immediate enjoyment you derive from it is the important part.

  • lclmopar426lclmopar426 Registered User new member
    To the very first comment, I am 100% in the same boat you are in. I have spent over thousands of dollars in the past few years to try and enjoy hobbies that frankly, I loved doing when I spent money and it seemed like a wise decision, however, the problem is the same. I get burned out of doing them and don't really have any motivation. Ive sat and thought about it for quite some time and the answer I can try to give you is a clear one. Do not try new hobbies, they will just postpone your solution. Pick the ones you loved doing, ones that you had the most motivation to do, and look for people around you to enjoy them with. I spent about 800 dollars total into airsoft thinking that I would love it. I did, for a short while, until I had nobody to enjoy it with. So, one thing I personally need to do is find someone to enjoy it with. They give you the long lasting satisfaction that your mind desires, the passion to do something. Recently a friend of mine who had enjoyed model railroading with me moved to college, and now all of my things lie about because I have no reason to try and make a cool layout or fix something because who will enjoy it? I will, for a brief time, that is if i even complete it. The mind needs a companion. Im not saying you should love the person you enjoy it with but they should be similar to you in some respects. If they dont enjoy it as much as you it can be tiring because it will seem as though you are doing all this work for nothing. So, after this wall of text, my advice to you is use the things you have now, whatever hobbies which you still have left that you havent gotten around to selling because they sat in the closet and collected dust, and go out to expos, social groups, and chat with people that enjoy it as much as you. Ask them if they want to cooperate in doing something. Honestly, this is the easiest part, the hardest part is finding the hobby,(thats coming from the guy that didnt say a word to anyone for months after he got a job). Another thing, once you find the person you want to work with, be sure to have enough time to enjoy the hobby. If you dont have the time, they or you might quickly get bored again because goals in which you set in your hobby never get done. I couldnt give you much other advice except do not drop your hobbies. You are attracted to them for a reason. Find others who can motivate and inspire you to do them.

This discussion has been closed.