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Local H JayLocal H Jay Registered User regular
edited May 2020 in Help / Advice Forum
Yeah... basically title says it all. I am not sure what it could be. I would suppose it's just bad genes, but my dad and mom both have good hair color at age 50+.
my hair is the longest it's ever been (past shoulder length), and since I've started growing it out I noticed more and more of the gray hairs. today I counted more than 50 because I got slightly obsessed looking at it. google says stress and diet, which could be an issue but more recently I have been eating relatively healthy and stress free.
any tips, other than dying it?

Local H Jay on

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    Hahnsoo1Hahnsoo1 Make Ready. We Hunt.Registered User regular
    Having gray hairs at your age is normal. If you "counted 50", I really wouldn't worry about it too much.

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    Local H JayLocal H Jay Registered User regular
    it kinda happened fast, I suppose it just surprised me because I don't know anyone my age going gray...

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    Hahnsoo1Hahnsoo1 Make Ready. We Hunt.Registered User regular
    it kinda happened fast, I suppose it just surprised me because I don't know anyone my age going gray...
    They probably haven't really noticed it. Gray hairs blend in well with all but dark hair colors. I had a few gray hairs in high school, and I noticed them because I have black hair. Again, having a few is pretty normal.

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    naporeonnaporeon Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited December 2013
    Although I'm not going gray yet personally, almost all the men and women on my mom's side of the family started going gray/white in their early 20's. For many generations.

    I definitely feel for you if you were taken aback by it, or if it's causing you stress, but I don't think it's out of the ordinary, and I certainly don't think it's unattractive or -- far worse -- necessarily indicative of ill health.

    naporeon on
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    Local H JayLocal H Jay Registered User regular
    edited December 2013
    I appreciate the empathy, I was more asking what I could to to possibly slow the graying. any vitamins or other things that may be killing my hair. I don't mind how it looks really, I just get obsessive with little things like this and end up picking each one out individually... you should have seen me when I had acne and eczema...

    if there's nothing to be done than I will accept my salt and pepper fate.

    Local H Jay on
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    naporeonnaporeon Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    Kind of forgot to include advice in there. Whoops!

    My advice would be to learn to love it, or at the very least to accept it. That might not be easy, and I have no idea how to go about it, but I think owning your appearance is better than taking artificial steps to change it. And I'm going to be 100% honest: I think gray/white hair is rad, no matter your age, so I'm actually a little jealous.

    As to mitigating the process itself, it sounds like you're already doing that -- if stress and diet are contributors, addressing those (as you seem to have done) is probably your best bet.

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    CryogenCryogen Registered User regular
    I went to school with an asian guy who had a fair few grey hairs at around the age of 16!

    I understand how you feel though. While I didn't start greying until my late 20's, I have a young face for my age and personally I don't feel grey hair suits me. So I've simply been coloring my hair since then. I'm sure some point may come when I decide to no longer do this, but at 37 that time has not yet come. Plus to be honest I like changing my hair color from time to time. Nothing too wild but I've covered most shades from sandy brown to bluish black.

    So that is my advice. Start with a match of your natural color if you are nervous about people's reactions. Eventually you have confidence with the fact that you do it, and can start being more adventurous. Or just stick with your natural color, whatever you like. I usually get mine done at a good hairdressers, but sometimes I use the DIY packs if my hair doesn't really need a cut and I'm rocking a simple color.

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    EncEnc A Fool with Compassion Pronouns: He, Him, HisRegistered User regular
    Honestly, going gray early isnt really a big deal. You can always dye your hair (considerably easier), or own the silver-top look once you go all the way. Gray hair early just gives you more options of what you can do with your hair.

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    schussschuss Registered User regular
    Yeah, I've known a bunch of people that went gray early. Just rock it with confidence. Your face will give away that you're not actually fifty.

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    MegaMan001MegaMan001 CRNA Rochester, MNRegistered User regular
    I think a gray hair is pretty cute too. I say embrace it and make it your own.

    I am in the business of saving lives.
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    MayabirdMayabird Pecking at the keyboardRegistered User regular
    It just happens to some people, like with baldness. Patrick Stewart went bald at 18. I knew people who were grey-haired as early-20s college students. It can happen even if it doesn't "run in the family" as with one of my uncles. No man on my dad's side of the family ever went bald until he started losing his hair in his 30s, and none of his brothers or male cousins or nephews or anybody went the same way.

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    The EnderThe Ender Registered User regular
    Greying of hair is caused by a lack of melanin - how long the melanocytes that give your hair darker pigments will live for is determined by genetics, and not something you can really control.


    I agree with everyone's who's said that, ultimately, the best choice is to accept it - but, if you really dislike it, you can always color it.

    With Love and Courage
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    Local H JayLocal H Jay Registered User regular
    thanks for the advice guys! it seems to be coming in around my temples more so I bet in two years I will look like Mr.Fantastic. guess I will just have to own it.

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    PinfeldorfPinfeldorf Yeah ZestRegistered User regular
    Gray hair makes you look distinguished and interesting. As long as you don't do the George Carlin pony tail look it should look good.

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    SyzygySyzygy Registered User regular
    edited December 2013
    Er, I don't know why everyone thus far has said going grey so early is normal. In my experience with my peers, that sounds just a tad abnormal. My fiance is 26 with hair as black as it comes, and I've not seen a single grey (And I've had a long time to get a good look at it. She has nice hair! I like to play with it, shush!) I've never seen any grey on my own head, nor my two closest friends, or any of my co-workers near or below my own age.

    That said, it's not really indicative of anything other than decreased melanin production in the affected hair follicles (correct me if I'm wrong) Since you said your parents didn't show any strong signs of greying, it could be a recessive trait? I dunno, I'm studying electrical engineering, not anthropology or genetics. And the one thing that has taught me is that genetics (and by extension, rate of greying) means diddly squat against lasers. Lasers > Everything.

    So no worries! You're healthy and safe. Except from lasers.

    Syzygy on
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    QuidQuid Definitely not a banana Registered User regular
    I will just have to own it.

    I was about to post this exact phrase. Gray isn't bad.

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    pirateluigipirateluigi Arr, it be me. Registered User regular
    Quid wrote: »
    I will just have to own it.

    I was about to post this exact phrase. Gray isn't bad.

    I have a good friend that started going gray at 21.... and he killed it. Gray hair looks amazing and you just need to own it.

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    Eat it You Nasty Pig.Eat it You Nasty Pig. tell homeland security 'we are the bomb'Registered User regular
    the only time gray hair is actually a problem is when people try ineffectively to hide it. Men's fashion has progressed to the point that nobody really cares if you're gray or balding, even at a young age.

    There's nothing you can really do about it. If you really hate the look of gray hair you can dye it, but again, nobody else actually cares

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    PantshandshakePantshandshake Registered User regular
    I'm 33, I've had scattered greys for... or, 5 years or so. I decided to welcome it. You know who gets away with yelling at neighborhood children near his lawn? Grizzled guy!

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    CambiataCambiata Commander Shepard The likes of which even GAWD has never seenRegistered User regular
    I actually stopped coloring my hair red because I was hoping I'd get some greys and I think they're cool. No such luck for me, though.

    Agreeing with the advice others have said, though I think most likely preventing it isn't going to be possible, I expect you just won (or lost, depending on your outlook) the genetic lottery here. If it bothers you, dying your hair at home isn't difficult and is even kind of fun.

    "If you divide the whole world into just enemies and friends, you'll end up destroying everything" --Nausicaa of the Valley of Wind
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    MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    My view is I'll gladly take the gray if I can keep the quantity.
    I'm 36 and more grey is creeping in everyday but still got a thick head of hair.

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    darkmayodarkmayo Registered User regular
    edited December 2013
    Had my first silver hair when I was 5, the gal cutting my hair freaked out and dragged my mom over to show her. My Dad and everyone on his side of the family is white/silver haired and it looks freaking awesome. He was full silver when he was in his mid 30s, I am salt and pepper and slowly going full silver at 35 but my moms effin genetics is slowing that process down. I was hoping to be all silver already. My brother on the other hand is still very dark haired.

    Enjoy it, embrace the silver.

    Oh yea, my beard has two streaks of silver on the chin, in a bit of a wolfman jack sort of way, it is also freakin sweet.

    darkmayo on
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    FireflashFireflash Montreal, QCRegistered User regular
    Embrace it! I'm 31 and im getting close to 50% gray. If you're confident about it the ladies will dig it! When someone asks I tell them I don't dye em cuz I think it looks cool, which is the honest truth.

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    DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    I would suppose it's just bad genes, but my dad and mom both have good hair color at age 50+.

    Maybe they dye their hair?

    I know you said you don't want to dye it, but if they do dye, then they must have found a good brand.

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    Local H JayLocal H Jay Registered User regular
    edited December 2013
    actually my mom probably does. my dad doesn't though, he has a few grays on his temples too but mostly his hair has held its color. his beard is pretty gray though.
    I would rather just let it turn gray than bother with dyes

    Local H Jay on
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    DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    Fair 'nuff

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    CreaganCreagan Registered User regular
    If you don't want to dye your hair because of the chemicals, you can always use henna and indigo to color over them.

    But whatever you decide to do, try to avoid making a habit out of pulling them out. If it becomes a habit, as the grey hair increases you'll start plucking yourself bald. Or it'll develop into trichotillomania, which you also don't want to have.

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    HollerHoller Registered User regular
    Get some glasses and maybe a haircut and accept that you are now incredibly sexy.

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    HevachHevach Registered User regular
    edited December 2013
    There's always a chance that what you've already seen won't immediately lead to more. I started at 17, by 18 I had a fairly visible gray streak. It didn't get much worse after that, though. It wasn't until the last year or so (30-31) that I started noticing some more around my temples and in my beard, and none of that's noticeable yet.

    I was self conscious about it at the time, I already looked more like a teacher than a high school student. I fought it for a while, but eventually I discovered that quite a few ladies in their 30's actually go for that look, and it was a lot easier to work with it than against it.

    Hevach on
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    ScooterScooter Registered User regular
    Just to add in another anecdote, I had a small bit of hair on the top of my head go grey when I was about...22? I'm 30 now and it's still exactly the same now as when they first showed up.

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    MuzzmuzzMuzzmuzz Registered User regular
    I've always had a theory that young looking men (Men who are mostly wrinkle free) with grey or white hair often are rated as very attractive by a majority of women. That's why Anderson Cooper (while not young, looks like he's not a day over 35 to me) has a huge female following. It's also why mens hair dye finally got the hint and started focussing on only covering part of the grey. So if you're worried about scaring away women, fear not! You may attract more women. Even with longer hair, if kept neat, trimmed, and styled right, the grey hair will actually make you look even more handsome.

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    jeffinvajeffinva Koogler coming this summerRegistered User regular
    My brother is in the same boat. No one in our family had gray hair until at least 60, and yet he has tons at 37. It makes me worry at 34.

    I don't know if it's a myth that stress contributes to the onset of graying, but he does have children and a stressful life in general. In any event, ever considered just dying?

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    LewieP's MummyLewieP's Mummy Registered User regular
    On what makes a man attractive to anyone, it's really about their confidence and empathy, not whether they're tall/short, fat/thin, bald/grey. @LewieP's Daddy had a full head of hair when I met him, he's quite bald and grey now, but I don't care about that a hoot, it's who he is that matters.

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    Mom2KatMom2Kat Registered User regular
    I've been going grey since I was 3 my daughter since 1 and my husband only noticeably for a few years. I'm 34 he's 32. I'd just leave it and wear it with pride. I earned every damn one.

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    DangerbirdDangerbird Registered User regular
    I'm 33, I've had scattered greys for... or, 5 years or so. I decided to welcome it. You know who gets away with yelling at neighborhood children near his lawn? Grizzled guy!

    You deserve an Awesome and a Bro Fist for that one my friend.

    Anyway, to the OP, it looks like you're already warming up to the idea of having a touch of grey due to the responses in this thread, but let me just mention one more thing.

    George Clooney. The guy looks like an effing badass. In fact, he looks better now than before when he didn't have grey hair.

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