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nudi[chat]

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Posts

  • CindersCinders Whose sails were black when it was windy Registered User regular
    Ooo, I really like that hairstyle.

  • Irond WillIrond Will WARNING: NO HURTFUL COMMENTS, PLEASE!!!!! Cambridge. MAModerator mod
    spool32 wrote: »
    We all live in the society together. If a bunch of people in Austin got divorced, it would not affect my marriage firstly because it's not my marriage that failed and secondly because everyone recognizes that those marriages failed.

    If the society stopped placing value on marriage, and everyone began to believe that it was trivial, transient, and basically pointless, that would affect my marriage very much. It wouldn't affect my relationship, and it wouldn't affect the values that I placed on my relationship, but it would certainly affect my marriage because A component of that marriage is the societal perception of it. A marriage is not just between two people on an island apart from everyone else in the society. A marriage is a public statement, that people have made a commitment to each other in public. It is a declaration to the society that these people have made a commitment to each other. If the societal response was "Who gives a shit", that would certainly affect me.

    this is more clear to me

    however, I don't follow the part about society needing to respond/validate your choices for them to have merit?

    if Sarah and I make promises to each other, that's what matters

    what someone else thinks of those promises, or whether they choose to make similar promises to someone themselves, has no bearing to my mind

    by the same token, tho, why is there this drive to delegitimize marriage as an institution?

    why are people responding with glee at the notion of this institution that is super-valuable to a lot of people being laid low and devalued by society at large?

    if spool values his marriage and society at large values and respects his marriage and inveighs in various ways to support it then why is this a bad thing that needs to be subverted?

    Wqdwp8l.png
  • 21stCentury21stCentury Call me Pixel, or Pix for short! [They/Them]Registered User regular
    Time for me to work out because i want to be less disgusting in time for PAX East.

    ALSO, speaking of PAX East...

    Only 18 pages of cards left to cut!

    Victory whoop!

  • DeebaserDeebaser on my way to work in a suit and a tie Ahhhh...come on fucking guyRegistered User regular
    Yes, pls restaurant. Take my credit card information for a deposit and don't charge it.
    And when I call to give it to you a second time, definitely give me your theory that whoever I gave the number too probably just lost track of it.
    YOLO

  • Evil MultifariousEvil Multifarious Registered User regular
    i was going to say that spool's grandkids aren't going to roll their eyes at that old fuddy-duddy talking about marriage again

    but maybe they will

    i have trouble really being concerned because yes, social institutions have a lot of power that is often a social good, but i also dream of a pansexual polyamorous gender-fluid future where people can express themselves and their sexuality pretty much however they please without enduring the tremendous suffering that such fluidity causes now

    one such expression could certainly be monogamy, and/or lifelong commitment! and i'm sure it would be.

    i don't see this as problematic at all, and i think less social pressure toward marriage and lifelong commitment could be a very good thing, though ronya and his ilk might say it appears to be an economic good

  • TavTav Irish Minister for DefenceRegistered User regular
    the open mic i went to did not go well tonight

    this thesis writing business is killing my soul

    ugggggggh

  • y2jake215y2jake215 certified Flat Birther theorist the Last Good Boy onlineRegistered User regular
    more like "meh"riage

    C8Ft8GE.jpg
    maybe i'm streaming terrible dj right now if i am its here
  • CindersCinders Whose sails were black when it was windy Registered User regular
    edited March 2014
    Today, I wore a pushup bra. Roommates have yet to comment on boobs, bras or my clothing..

    I am starting to get concerned about them. I don't feel anyone should be this oblivious.

    Cinders on
  • skippydumptruckskippydumptruck begin again Registered User regular
    Irond Will wrote: »
    spool32 wrote: »
    We all live in the society together. If a bunch of people in Austin got divorced, it would not affect my marriage firstly because it's not my marriage that failed and secondly because everyone recognizes that those marriages failed.

    If the society stopped placing value on marriage, and everyone began to believe that it was trivial, transient, and basically pointless, that would affect my marriage very much. It wouldn't affect my relationship, and it wouldn't affect the values that I placed on my relationship, but it would certainly affect my marriage because A component of that marriage is the societal perception of it. A marriage is not just between two people on an island apart from everyone else in the society. A marriage is a public statement, that people have made a commitment to each other in public. It is a declaration to the society that these people have made a commitment to each other. If the societal response was "Who gives a shit", that would certainly affect me.

    this is more clear to me

    however, I don't follow the part about society needing to respond/validate your choices for them to have merit?

    if Sarah and I make promises to each other, that's what matters

    what someone else thinks of those promises, or whether they choose to make similar promises to someone themselves, has no bearing to my mind

    by the same token, tho, why is there this drive to delegitimize marriage as an institution?

    why are people responding with glee at the notion of this institution that is super-valuable to a lot of people being laid low and devalued by society at large?

    if spool values his marriage and society at large values and respects his marriage and inveighs in various ways to support it then why is this a bad thing that needs to be subverted?

    probably because we've been real rude about who gets to participate for a while now, and still are in many parts of the country

    it makes sense to me that the three general responses would be a) I don't care about your thing that you want to keep to yourself, b) fuck you, let me have that thing too stop being a dick, c) that thing and your exclusion is hurtful and I want to break it

  • Dark Raven XDark Raven X Laugh hard, run fast, be kindRegistered User regular
    Tav wrote: »
    the open mic i went to did not go well tonight

    this thesis writing business is killing my soul

    ugggggggh

    Use it. USE IT.

    Oh brilliant
  • OrganichuOrganichu poops peesRegistered User, Moderator mod
    Deebaser wrote: »
    Yes, pls restaurant. Take my credit card information for a deposit and don't charge it.
    And when I call to give it to you a second time, definitely give me your theory that whoever I gave the number too probably just lost track of it.
    YOLO

    restaurants are hectic places. big titted hostesses, demanding customers, gordon ramsay screaming at you etc.

  • WinkyWinky rRegistered User regular
    I can say with certainty I absolutely don't care whether people are monogamous or not so long as they are happy with their situation.

  • DeebaserDeebaser on my way to work in a suit and a tie Ahhhh...come on fucking guyRegistered User regular
    i was going to say that spool's grandkids aren't going to roll their eyes at that old fuddy-duddy talking about marriage again

    but maybe they will

    i have trouble really being concerned because yes, social institutions have a lot of power that is often a social good, but i also dream of a pansexual polyamorous gender-fluid future where people can express themselves and their sexuality pretty much however they please without enduring the tremendous suffering that such fluidity causes now

    one such expression could certainly be monogamy, and/or lifelong commitment! and i'm sure it would be.

    i don't see this as problematic at all, and i think less social pressure toward marriage and lifelong commitment could be a very good thing, though ronya and his ilk might say it appears to be an economic good

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iXpxnxAL62A

  • surrealitychecksurrealitycheck lonely, but not unloved dreaming of faulty keys and latchesRegistered User regular
    the only thing i would ever get married to is a cheeseburger

    our relationship will blaze briefly and gloriously like a supernova

    then be consummated

    obF2Wuw.png
  • ronyaronya Arrrrrf. the ivory tower's basementRegistered User regular
    i don't see this as problematic at all, and i think less social pressure toward marriage and lifelong commitment could be a very good thing, though ronya and his ilk might say it appears to be an economic good

    i've also said before that another multi-individual intergenerational institution has taken over the task; we call them "banks" in the context of investment, and "corporations" in the context of managing said investments.

    my own concern is a lil different

    we've said before, haven't we, that the problem with anarchy is that warlords can make better use of it than you can

    and polygyny has, y'know, a historical track record

    aRkpc.gif
  • spool32spool32 Contrary Library Registered User regular
    spool32 wrote: »
    We all live in the society together. If a bunch of people in Austin got divorced, it would not affect my marriage firstly because it's not my marriage that failed and secondly because everyone recognizes that those marriages failed.

    If the society stopped placing value on marriage, and everyone began to believe that it was trivial, transient, and basically pointless, that would affect my marriage very much. It wouldn't affect my relationship, and it wouldn't affect the values that I placed on my relationship, but it would certainly affect my marriage because A component of that marriage is the societal perception of it. A marriage is not just between two people on an island apart from everyone else in the society. A marriage is a public statement, that people have made a commitment to each other in public. It is a declaration to the society that these people have made a commitment to each other. If the societal response was "Who gives a shit", that would certainly affect me.

    this is more clear to me

    however, I don't follow the part about society needing to respond/validate your choices for them to have merit?

    if Sarah and I make promises to each other, that's what matters

    what someone else thinks of those promises, or whether they choose to make similar promises to someone themselves, has no bearing to my mind

    Well for one thing, it is better for society if it's members respect the public commitments people make with each other, and don't try to undermine or subvert them. We need a signifier that this dynamic is in play, and social pressure to respect it.

    Your promises to Sarah are critical to your relationship, but you both made your marriage vows to me as well, and that public commitment deserves my respect.

    Marriage is public!

  • redxredx I(x)=2(x)+1 whole numbersRegistered User regular
    edited March 2014
    y2jake215 wrote: »
    more like "meh"riage

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=u2m6sHROA3U

    Edit: not sure how "man and wife. Just say man and wife" dovetails into this conversation.

    redx on
    They moistly come out at night, moistly.
  • ronyaronya Arrrrrf. the ivory tower's basementRegistered User regular
    there is a reason 60s free love communes wound up generating so much abuse

    aRkpc.gif
  • y2jake215y2jake215 certified Flat Birther theorist the Last Good Boy onlineRegistered User regular
    BECAUSE I DONT CARE FOR IT

    C8Ft8GE.jpg
    maybe i'm streaming terrible dj right now if i am its here
  • CorehealerCorehealer The Apothecary The softer edge of the universe.Registered User regular
    Organichu wrote: »
    Deebaser wrote: »
    Yes, pls restaurant. Take my credit card information for a deposit and don't charge it.
    And when I call to give it to you a second time, definitely give me your theory that whoever I gave the number too probably just lost track of it.
    YOLO

    restaurants are hectic places. big titted hostesses, demanding customers, gordon ramsay screaming at you etc.

    Sounds like Jabba the Hutt's palace to me.

    488W936.png
  • Apothe0sisApothe0sis Have you ever questioned the nature of your reality? Registered User regular
    I don't understand how people have missed the prevailing point of spool's post.

    Specifically that as someone who both supports gay marriage and believes deeply in marriage as an institution the deception of the radically progressive is infuriating.

    Those who would say "it has nothing to do with traditional marriage" but secretly or, in other circumstances, celebrate it as a stepping stone in tearing down the patriarchy in general and marriage in particular.

    Tl;dr don't lie to spool about your priorities. Spool doesn't support the destruction or trivialisation of marriage.

    You all seem to be trying to find a reason to yell at spool.

  • Evil MultifariousEvil Multifarious Registered User regular
    the feeling is that the primacy of marriage and monogamy in our culture puts pressure on people to conform, and hinders people's expression of other ways of being in relationships - marriage is ideologically dominant and pushes other ideas to the margins. it's hard to even hear about other ways of loving people. so a lot of people are happy at the idea that marriage is giving up some of its market share.

  • shalmeloshalmelo sees no evil Registered User regular
    i was going to say that spool's grandkids aren't going to roll their eyes at that old fuddy-duddy talking about marriage again

    but maybe they will

    i have trouble really being concerned because yes, social institutions have a lot of power that is often a social good, but i also dream of a pansexual polyamorous gender-fluid future where people can express themselves and their sexuality pretty much however they please without enduring the tremendous suffering that such fluidity causes now

    one such expression could certainly be monogamy, and/or lifelong commitment! and i'm sure it would be.

    i don't see this as problematic at all, and i think less social pressure toward marriage and lifelong commitment could be a very good thing, though ronya and his ilk might say it appears to be an economic good

    Yeah, monogamy/lifelong commitment isn't going away as the dominant social paradigm anytime soon. And that's good! (for the most part).

    That said, the overwhelming societal pressure that monogamy/lifelong commitment is the ONLY ideal that ALL people MUST strive for under EVERY circumstance is toxic. Marriage is for many people. Most people, even! But it damn sure isn't for everyone, and our society will be better off once we stop trying to pretend that it is.

    Steam ID: Shalmelo || LoL: melo2boogaloo || tweets
  • emnmnmeemnmnme Registered User regular
    i also dream of a pansexual polyamorous gender-fluid future where people can express themselves and their sexuality pretty much however they please without enduring the tremendous suffering that such fluidity causes now

    Tell me more about this bizarre fever-dream. Was there public nudity and prostitution and donkey shows?

  • skippydumptruckskippydumptruck begin again Registered User regular
    edited March 2014
    Apothe0sis wrote: »
    I don't understand how people have missed the prevailing point of spool's post.

    Specifically that as someone who both supports gay marriage and believes deeply in marriage as an institution the deception of the radically progressive is infuriating.

    Those who would say "it has nothing to do with traditional marriage" but secretly or, in other circumstances, celebrate it as a stepping stone in tearing down the patriarchy in general and marriage in particular.

    Tl;dr don't lie to spool about your priorities. Spool doesn't support the destruction or trivialisation of marriage.

    You all seem to be trying to find a reason to yell at spool.

    I am having a very calm conversation with spool to better understand his perspective and share my own

    skippydumptruck on
  • CindersCinders Whose sails were black when it was windy Registered User regular
    I am going to take a nap.

  • ronyaronya Arrrrrf. the ivory tower's basementRegistered User regular
    saying that marriage is a contract between three entities - two partners and l'état - seems fine to me if you also accept the idea that states may legislate changes in what constitutes a marriage and oblige people who disagree to accept that definition

    aRkpc.gif
  • Irond WillIrond Will WARNING: NO HURTFUL COMMENTS, PLEASE!!!!! Cambridge. MAModerator mod
    Irond Will wrote: »
    spool32 wrote: »
    We all live in the society together. If a bunch of people in Austin got divorced, it would not affect my marriage firstly because it's not my marriage that failed and secondly because everyone recognizes that those marriages failed.

    If the society stopped placing value on marriage, and everyone began to believe that it was trivial, transient, and basically pointless, that would affect my marriage very much. It wouldn't affect my relationship, and it wouldn't affect the values that I placed on my relationship, but it would certainly affect my marriage because A component of that marriage is the societal perception of it. A marriage is not just between two people on an island apart from everyone else in the society. A marriage is a public statement, that people have made a commitment to each other in public. It is a declaration to the society that these people have made a commitment to each other. If the societal response was "Who gives a shit", that would certainly affect me.

    this is more clear to me

    however, I don't follow the part about society needing to respond/validate your choices for them to have merit?

    if Sarah and I make promises to each other, that's what matters

    what someone else thinks of those promises, or whether they choose to make similar promises to someone themselves, has no bearing to my mind

    by the same token, tho, why is there this drive to delegitimize marriage as an institution?

    why are people responding with glee at the notion of this institution that is super-valuable to a lot of people being laid low and devalued by society at large?

    if spool values his marriage and society at large values and respects his marriage and inveighs in various ways to support it then why is this a bad thing that needs to be subverted?

    probably because we've been real rude about who gets to participate for a while now, and still are in many parts of the country

    it makes sense to me that the three general responses would be a) I don't care about your thing that you want to keep to yourself, b) fuck you, let me have that thing too stop being a dick, c) that thing and your exclusion is hurtful and I want to break it

    gay marriage has been legal in mass for about 10 years now. it's an obviously inevitable tide rolling across the US that gives gay people in particular and liberals in general something to celebrate in terms of positive social change. and because there are 50 states, falling like dominoes, it's a gift that just keeps on giving.

    i guess i could have seen what you're talking about like twenty years ago or even ten. but it doesn't make any sense now.

    Wqdwp8l.png
  • EddyEddy Gengar the Bittersweet Registered User regular
    i try to express myself colorfully and i am accused of taking illegal drugs

    I don't have to listen to all of these wild allegations!

    "and the morning stars I have seen
    and the gengars who are guiding me" -- W.S. Merwin
  • QuidQuid Definitely not a banana Registered User regular
    Apothe0sis wrote: »
    I don't understand how people have missed the prevailing point of spool's post.

    Specifically that as someone who both supports gay marriage and believes deeply in marriage as an institution the deception of the radically progressive is infuriating.

    Those who would say "it has nothing to do with traditional marriage" but secretly or, in other circumstances, celebrate it as a stepping stone in tearing down the patriarchy in general and marriage in particular.

    Tl;dr don't lie to spool about your priorities. Spool doesn't support the destruction or trivialisation of marriage.

    You all seem to be trying to find a reason to yell at spool.

    There's literally no way to actually destroy two people entering in to a permanent monogamous relationship outside of declaring it illegal and actually enforcing that.

    Which, frankly, would be a ridiculous fear.

  • CorehealerCorehealer The Apothecary The softer edge of the universe.Registered User regular
    emnmnme wrote: »
    i also dream of a pansexual polyamorous gender-fluid future where people can express themselves and their sexuality pretty much however they please without enduring the tremendous suffering that such fluidity causes now

    Tell me more about this bizarre fever-dream. Was there public nudity and prostitution and donkey shows?

    Brave-New-World-Huxley-8.jpg

    488W936.png
  • redxredx I(x)=2(x)+1 whole numbersRegistered User regular
    Cinders wrote: »
    Today, I wore a pushup bra. Roommates have yet to comment on boobs, bras or my clothing..

    I am starting to get concerned about them. I don't feel anyone should be this oblivious.


    LoL. And things.

    Today I wore thigh highs.

    They are kinda fantastic.

    Not that I wore a skirt or anything.

    They moistly come out at night, moistly.
  • emnmnmeemnmnme Registered User regular
    Eddy wrote: »
    i try to express myself colorfully and i am accused of taking illegal drugs

    I don't have to listen to all of these wild allegations!

    I like your new av, btw.

  • HenroidHenroid Mexican kicked from Immigration Thread Centrism is Racism :3Registered User regular
    Here's how I'd tell my kids about gay people.

    "Some boys like boys and some girls like girls the same way that boys like girls and girls like boys."

    SUCH DIFFICULT

    SO PARENTING

    I mean honestly if your approach with it is as casual as anything else you teach your kid, they won't regard gay people as any better or worse than anyone else. Shining a special spotlight on it may have your kid consider it in the wrong light, as in "Something is up."

  • bloodyroarxxbloodyroarxx Casa GrandeRegistered User regular
    Oh wow this new Batman game *changes pants*

  • NecoNeco Worthless Garbage Registered User regular
    Here is what I would tell my children about gay marriage:

    I do not have children.

  • OrganichuOrganichu poops peesRegistered User, Moderator mod
    Eddy wrote: »
    i try to express myself colorfully and i am accused of taking illegal drugs

    I don't have to listen to all of these wild allegations!

    you raccoon eyed slut

  • Evil MultifariousEvil Multifarious Registered User regular
    ronya wrote: »
    there is a reason 60s free love communes wound up generating so much abuse

    there are a lot of utopian ideas that founder on the rocks of "people are assholes"

    but the free love communes didn't generate that abuse because of an inherent problem or vulnerability in polyamory. they generated that abuse because they were marginal communities of marginalized people adopting a marginalized ideology.

    oversight and transparency prevent abuse. when a community must isolate itself to exist and become insular to protect that existence, it grows more and more vulnerable to internal exploitation and abuse.

    legitimizing those lifestyles will allow people to participate in the larger community without fear of reprisal or alienation, which also allows them to participate in and benefit from the mechanisms that the larger community has to protect its people.

  • Nova_CNova_C I have the need The need for speedRegistered User regular
    edited March 2014
  • QuidQuid Definitely not a banana Registered User regular
    Neco wrote: »
    Here is what I would tell my children about gay marriage:

    I do not have children.

    They are gonna be hella confused.

This discussion has been closed.