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  • #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    They absolutely do overlap, though

    I'm not saying it's a fantasy you should be ashamed of, but just like DDV said it includes a certain amount of "not being able to help yourself" and without some pretty serious trust already existing between partners or standing consent for that kind of thing, it can get pretty sketchy pretty quick.

  • TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    They overlap for some, butt-up against each-other for others or exist as totally separate things for the rest.

    I agree with the rest of the post though.

  • AbdhyiusAbdhyius Registered User regular
    I'm curious: what kind of age gaps do you think are okay and which are kinda iffy?

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  • JarsJars Registered User regular
    half your age+7

  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Frequently not in boats. Registered User regular
    Abdhyius wrote: »
    I'm curious: what kind of age gaps do you think are okay and which are kinda iffy?

    like for a relationship or just sex

  • AbdhyiusAbdhyius Registered User regular
    that'd be 18 year olds for me

    and 18 year olds are young

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  • AbdhyiusAbdhyius Registered User regular
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    Abdhyius wrote: »
    I'm curious: what kind of age gaps do you think are okay and which are kinda iffy?

    like for a relationship or just sex

    relationship

    ftOqU21.png
  • TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    I usually see it as more problematic if the older party has a position of guardianship or authority over the younger rather than it just being an issue of age.

  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Frequently not in boats. Registered User regular
    Abdhyius wrote: »
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    Abdhyius wrote: »
    I'm curious: what kind of age gaps do you think are okay and which are kinda iffy?

    like for a relationship or just sex

    relationship

    if you cannot have a conversation with them, then it's iffy

  • Theodore FlooseveltTheodore Floosevelt proud parent of eight beautiful girls and shalmelo dorne (which is currently being ruled by a woman (awesome role model for my daughters)) #dornedadRegistered User regular
    Abdhyius wrote: »
    that'd be 18 year olds for me

    and 18 year olds are young

    well that's why it's all dependent on the exact person! can't really generalize by years-old once you're all adults

    'sbout life stages, and all that

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  • AbdhyiusAbdhyius Registered User regular
    because that's always more complicated

    the list of people you could see yourself being with is a lot shorter than the people you could see yourself sleeping with, I'd wager

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  • LiiyaLiiya Registered User regular
    Depends on maturity level of both involved, there is a big difference between someone who is 18 and 29 in many ways.

  • WheatBun01WheatBun01 Face It, Tiger Registered User regular
    As an early 20s guy, I'd say my cutoff is like.. late 30's?

    And I'd never date anyone who was a teenager, just as a hard rule. Teenagers are insane in the membrane.

  • SharpyVIISharpyVII Registered User regular
    Abdhyius wrote: »
    that'd be 18 year olds for me

    and 18 year olds are young

    well that's why it's all dependent on the exact person! can't really generalize by years-old once you're all adults

    'sbout life stages, and all that

    I totally agree with this, it can go both ways. My ex was 21 and I'm 25 - even though we were both adults and there wasn't a big age gap between us the difference in maturity was massive (not that I'm saying I'm the height of maturity!)

  • LiiyaLiiya Registered User regular
    I have decided I will never date anyone younger than me again.

  • #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    TankHammer wrote: »
    I usually see it as more problematic if the older party has a position of guardianship or authority over the younger rather than it just being an issue of age.

    strong agree

    As long as they're consenting adults, dismissing someone purely because of their age is kind of a shitty thing to do. I turn 31 this year and most of the time I could not even comprehend dating a 20 year old, but in reality I'm sure I'd have good relationships with as many 20 year olds as 30 year olds.

    My mum was 20 and my dad was 31 when they got married and my mum has always been the mature one out of the two.

  • SheriSheri Resident Fluffer My Living RoomRegistered User regular
    Liiya wrote: »
    I have decided I will never date anyone younger than me again.

    I had a wicked bad breakup and thought this

    But @Javen is younger than me and he's the best thing that's ever happened to me

    He's also very mature and only like 18 mo younger but still

  • WheatBun01WheatBun01 Face It, Tiger Registered User regular
    One of my coworkers texted me after her and I and a couple of other friends hung out and drank and watched blade runner last week

    "Maybe you and I could catch the new Spider-Man this weekend?"

    noooooooooo

  • LiiyaLiiya Registered User regular
    Sheri wrote: »
    Liiya wrote: »
    I have decided I will never date anyone younger than me again.

    I had a wicked bad breakup and thought this

    But @Javen is younger than me and he's the best thing that's ever happened to me

    He's also very mature and only like 18 mo younger but still

    This is true, right now I'm just feeling very bitter. It'll pass I'm sure.

  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Frequently not in boats. Registered User regular
    Sheri wrote: »
    Liiya wrote: »
    I have decided I will never date anyone younger than me again.

    I had a wicked bad breakup and thought this

    But @Javen is younger than me and he's the best thing that's ever happened to me

    He's also very mature and only like 18 mo younger but still

    yeah but he's a huge nerd

  • MadEddyMadEddy Creepy house watching youRegistered User regular
    I tend to date older, but that's because I'm a cranky old lady at heart. But it's highly dependent on the individual. And it's not just the amount of life experience that matters. Sometimes having vastly different life experiences is a bigger hurdle than a little bit of a maturity difference.

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  • XaquinXaquin Right behind you!Registered User regular
    I dreamed once that I heard Chris Cornell singing 'Crazy On You' and it was fantastic.

    In relationship news, bah and humbug.

  • XaquinXaquin Right behind you!Registered User regular
    Liiya wrote: »
    Sheri wrote: »
    Liiya wrote: »
    I have decided I will never date anyone younger than me again.

    I had a wicked bad breakup and thought this

    But @Javen is younger than me and he's the best thing that's ever happened to me

    He's also very mature and only like 18 mo younger but still

    This is true, right now I'm just feeling very bitter. It'll pass I'm sure.

    hey, me too!

    (the bitterness part, not Javen .... (nothing against Javen))

  • WheatBun01WheatBun01 Face It, Tiger Registered User regular
    Liiya wrote: »
    Sheri wrote: »
    Liiya wrote: »
    I have decided I will never date anyone younger than me again.

    I had a wicked bad breakup and thought this

    But @Javen is younger than me and he's the best thing that's ever happened to me

    He's also very mature and only like 18 mo younger but still

    This is true, right now I'm just feeling very bitter. It'll pass I'm sure.

    It totally will.

    Plus it just feels good to say stuff like that, it's a good way to vent a little. I keep telling friends I'll never just take everything a gal says on faith again after how my last two relationships went but everyone knows thats silly

    it's just cathartic to say

  • LiiyaLiiya Registered User regular
    Heart thread I want to express how kind and caring and lovely all my hospital staff were. They were wonderful.

  • TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    edited April 2014
    I like my partners to at least be able to match me intellectually.

    Sarah may be younger than me but she had her master's degree before I'd gotten my bachelor's.

    Age plays little part in it but I don't even look at people under the age of 18 the same way I do over 20 with a few years of buffer space added on just to be safe.

    TankHammer on
  • #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    WheatBun01 wrote: »
    One of my coworkers texted me after her and I and a couple of other friends hung out and drank and watched blade runner last week

    "Maybe you and I could catch the new Spider-Man this weekend?"

    noooooooooo

    why nooooot

  • BogeyBogey I'm back, baby! Santa Monica, CAModerator mod
    edited April 2014
    Sheri wrote: »
    Liiya wrote: »
    I have decided I will never date anyone younger than me again.

    I had a wicked bad breakup and thought this

    But @Javen is younger than me and he's the best thing that's ever happened to me

    He's also very mature and only like 18 mo younger but still
    I miss playing TOR with Javen.

    Bogey on
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  • Bluedude152Bluedude152 Registered User regular
    I hugged a girl once does that count for anything

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  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Frequently not in boats. Registered User regular
    I hugged a girl once does that count for anything

    gay as hell

  • DrZiplockDrZiplock Registered User regular
    #pipe wrote: »
    WheatBun01 wrote: »
    One of my coworkers texted me after her and I and a couple of other friends hung out and drank and watched blade runner last week

    "Maybe you and I could catch the new Spider-Man this weekend?"

    noooooooooo

    why nooooot

    Indeed. This response, without context, makes little sense.

  • WheatBun01WheatBun01 Face It, Tiger Registered User regular
    edited April 2014
    #pipe wrote: »
    WheatBun01 wrote: »
    One of my coworkers texted me after her and I and a couple of other friends hung out and drank and watched blade runner last week

    "Maybe you and I could catch the new Spider-Man this weekend?"

    noooooooooo

    why nooooot

    I'm just not mentally/emotionally capable of doing date stuff right now, really.

    I guess that doesn't mean I can't go hang out with someone and have a good time, though

    edit: also I've enjoyed having coworker friends and I feel like it'd make things awkward?? But vocalizing my fears just makes me think I'm over thinking it.


    WheatBun01 on
  • LiiyaLiiya Registered User regular
    edited April 2014
    Maybe Mr Wheat isn't feeling ready for that just yet. If James McAvoy asked me out right now, dreamy as he is, I'd say no.

    Liiya on
  • DrZiplockDrZiplock Registered User regular
    Then you should likely check to see if Mr. McAvoy was just asking to hangout because he had a good time last time. Doesn't always mean it is a date.

    And to this point: I had to ask one coworker very specifically if what we were on was a date and if we were flirting with each other just to be on the safe side.

    Turns out it was and we were.

    She's fucking awesome.

  • #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    WheatBun01 wrote: »
    #pipe wrote: »
    WheatBun01 wrote: »
    One of my coworkers texted me after her and I and a couple of other friends hung out and drank and watched blade runner last week

    "Maybe you and I could catch the new Spider-Man this weekend?"

    noooooooooo

    why nooooot

    I'm just not mentally/emotionally capable of doing date stuff right now, really.

    I guess that doesn't mean I can't go hang out with someone and have a good time, though

    edit: also I've enjoyed having coworker friends and I feel like it'd make things awkward?? But vocalizing my fears just makes me think I'm over thinking it.

    Fuck that nonsense. Go see a movie with a girl.

    If you feel like it might become weird, talk to her about it.

    Be alive, dogg, you've only got so long.

  • Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    Liiya wrote: »
    Maybe Mr Wheat isn't feeling ready for that just yet. If James McAvoy asked me out right now, dreamy as he is, I'd say no.

    Are you sure about this cause I can make some calls

  • LiiyaLiiya Registered User regular
    edited April 2014
    That is a good point, also, aww :D

    Sadly McAvoy is married so his loss.

    oh go on then GG, you're twisting my arm.

    Liiya on
  • #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    edited April 2014
    Unless you got dumped 4 days ago, or you're currently institutionalized about it, it is never too soon to start dating again.

    Dating is not filling out legally binding contracts to engage in emotional and sexual relations, it's doing fun stuff with someone cute.

    #pipe on
  • rhylithrhylith Death Rabbits HoustonRegistered User regular
    edited April 2014
    I'm more hesitant of asking out women younger than me, but as long as they've been out of college a couple years then really there's not anywhere near as big a difference as far as position in life between a typical 25 yr old and a 30 year old compared to, say, a 20 year old and a 25 year old.

    On the topic of dating, I wish I could get over my timidness/anxiety when talking to new people so that I could do a better job on those early dates. I know a lot of you guys are super outgoing and this sounds like a dumb problem to have but damn it's hard.

    Things like the broken arm on my recent dating attempt sure as hell don't help the problem because now I'm just doubly worried about making myself look like a jackass and it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

    Edit: slow phone posting uuuuugh.

    rhylith on
  • WheatBun01WheatBun01 Face It, Tiger Registered User regular
    wait did you break your arm on the date or did you have a broken arm during the date

    because one of those is worse than the other.

This discussion has been closed.