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[PA Comic] Monday, July 21, 2014 - The Talk, By Mike Krahulik

DogDog Registered User, Administrator, Vanilla Staff admin
edited July 2014 in The Penny Arcade Hub

image[PA Comic] Monday, July 21, 2014 - The Talk, By Mike Krahulik

The Talk, By Mike Krahulik

The Talk, By Mike Krahulik

http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2014/07/21

Read the full story here


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Posts

  • RottonappleRottonapple Registered User regular
    Dad problems. And yet another reason why sex-ed in school is so important.

  • KalTorakKalTorak One way or another, they all end up in the Undercity.Registered User regular
    a good old-fashioned penis-carousel

    Quid
  • [email protected]Ryan@ Registered User regular
    Never understood the fear with talking to your kids about sexuality; it's the most honest, and if you treat it right, useful to everybody, talks you can have with your kid.
    That may stem from the fact that my "parental talk" was a phone call from my father to my broher, while he was at work, saying that my folks caught me and my girlfriend the night before, and my brother had to talk to me, which resulted in me talking to him and explaining/correcting, despite him being 4 years older than me..... yeah, i come from one of THOSE families that are the inspiration for sitcoms. :(


    Anyways, the comedic value of this comic is still pretty good, mostly due to the sheer panic look in panel 3, coupled with the innuendos

    streevercB557Zilla360
  • prime_pmprime_pm Registered User regular
    You see son, when a man and a woman drink with each other very very much...

    streeverBobblecB557815165NightslyrLostNinjaQuidGoose!Man in the MistsKamarPLAWraith260The Word of Bird
  • streeverstreever Registered User regular
    I laughed at this one; it was funny, but I was simultaneously horrified thinking about how many parents really do have this problem. Kids have to hear about sex, and they should probably hear about it from you. I'm sure it's stressful; I'm not a parent yet, so I'm not going to criticize anyone for being uncomfortable/nervous about it. Just saying.... the real people who can't do this are definitely not doing their kids any favors.

    carboxymoron
  • joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    My parents threw a giant book at me, told me to read it, and said to come talk to them if I still had questions.

    I knew pretty much everything in the book already because, well, kids talk to each other, and the stuff I didn't know the book didn't give me answers for. So I asked my mom, who said, "I think you'd better look at that book again."

  • belligerentbelligerent Registered User regular
    I guess I should say for me, but as a parent it's not talking about sex, it's admitting that they've grown up. It's losing Santa claus, easter and, oh yeah, the idea that your children are still kids. Objectively I understand that having the sex talk is important. But this is your baby. You remember when he or she couldn't even walk or shit without help. Honest to god, that's what you see when you look at them. And now they're asking what a clit is.

    It's a powerful feeling to overcome.

    Zilla360The Word of Bird
  • KalTorakKalTorak One way or another, they all end up in the Undercity.Registered User regular
    The book my parents threw at me had a lot of Jesus talk in it, and warned against masturbation without telling me how to do it.

    what the fuck good is that to me

    GethBobblecB557Zilla360admanbDarth WaiterGoose!Crippl3Man in the MistsThe Word of Bird
  • joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    KalTorak wrote: »
    The book my parents threw at me had a lot of Jesus talk in it, and warned against masturbation without telling me how to do it.

    what the fuck good is that to me

    027-They-asked.-We-answered.jpg

    cB557815165NightslyradmanbTheCanManDarth WaiterLegbaGoose!Man in the MistsPonyLovelyCaulk Bite 6KamarT-boltWraith260The Word of Bird
  • ActionJ4ckActionJ4ck Registered User new member
    Still more of a talk than I ever got...

  • ComradebotComradebot Lord of Dinosaurs Houston, TXRegistered User regular
    Ah, the talk. I didn't get much of one.

    You know, beyond my mom telling me "You won't be welcome in this house if you ever do that with a black girl, and while some of those Mexican girls may look really cute now they'll all get real fat and want eight kids."

    And I guess my dad showed me a few old Playboys. Beyond that, I had Gabe Jr's carousel education, involving the ramblings of confused kids (one of em' was obsessed with drawing male genitals, usually with massive, massive testicles that were placed above the penis), softcore Cinemax porn, a health teacher that avoided letting me ask questions (I once overheard her say that I "had eyes that were dark and soulless with no emotion or future, like a shark's eyes", so maybe that was why), and hushed whispers about the majesty and mystery of "The Boobs".

    Just, you know, with my mom's casual racism sprinkled on top. Which reminds me, she also mentioned that Asian girls have sideways vaginas.
    I really wish at least some of this wasn't true.

    Zilla360admanbNightslyrTheCanMancB557Twenty SidedCommander ZoomSmrtnikWraith260The Word of Bird
  • joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    edited July 2014
    Comradebot wrote: »
    Which reminds me, she also mentioned that Asian girls have sideways vaginas.

    How would that even

    joshofalltrades on
    NightslyrcB557The Word of Bird
  • YoungFreyYoungFrey Registered User regular
    Comradebot wrote: »
    Which reminds me, she also mentioned that Asian girls have sideways vaginas.

    How would that even
    I've actually heard that one before. But damned if I know where the hell it got started.

    The Word of Bird
  • Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    KalTorak wrote: »
    The book my parents threw at me had a lot of Jesus talk in it, and warned against masturbation without telling me how to do it.

    what the fuck good is that to me

    027-They-asked.-We-answered.jpg

    Damn right it is.

    cB557The Word of Bird
  • fightinfilipinofightinfilipino Angry as Hell #BLMRegistered User regular
    the thing that really worries me about potential future mini-fightinfilipinos is not that i won't be able to give frank words about sex and sexuality, it's that my offspring will talk with other kids, and those kids' parents will be prude jerks who will think i'm giving my kid terribad parenting :[

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  • either,oreither,or Registered User regular
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    3DS friend code: 4811-7214-5053
    QuidLostNinjaSoul SanctumcB557Wraith260Rottonapple
  • Soul SanctumSoul Sanctum Registered User regular
    either,or wrote: »

    Ahh I miss Mike's old (i.e. good) art style.

    streever
  • ToonToon Registered User regular
    When I was four, my mom taught me how babies are made.

    I cried my brains out, because (since I had been in her womb) I very logically concluded that she had once devoured me like I was pizza.

    Twenty SidedDarkewolfeWraith260The Word of Bird
  • DarmakDarmak RAGE vympyvvhyc vyctyvyRegistered User regular
    This bit from Tycho's post made me laugh pretty damn hard, "I would never say that I was better at this than Gabriel the Elder. Until recently there was an active rivalry, but I am currently the worst father in this galaxy - just beating out the malevolent Husk-Ship Armogedra. But my son does know what his dick is about, on account of a policy called Facts By Five. He listened in ever crystallizing horror until everything seemed to coalesce for him, he said “Okay,” and finished building his robot; a robot now studded with brutal, gas-powered chain-dongs."

    V0iJ9AS.png
  • Goose!Goose! That's me, honey Show me the way home, honeyRegistered User regular
    either,or wrote: »

    Ahh I miss Mike's old (i.e. good) art style.

    cWgwzIy.png

    cB557joshofalltradesstreeverAiouaQuidPonyAndy Joe
  • theResetButtontheResetButton Registered User regular
    KalTorak wrote: »
    The book my parents threw at me had a lot of Jesus talk in it, and warned against masturbation without telling me how to do it.

    what the fuck good is that to me

    The book my parents threw at me suggested masturbating with my best friend so that we could compare methods.

    I did not follow the book's advice, and that was the last time I looked at that book.

    Keep honking: I'm also honking.
    cB557
  • joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    KalTorak wrote: »
    The book my parents threw at me had a lot of Jesus talk in it, and warned against masturbation without telling me how to do it.

    what the fuck good is that to me

    The book my parents threw at me suggested masturbating with my best friend so that we could compare methods.

    I did not follow the book's advice, and that was the last time I looked at that book.

    What if you're one of those people who says your mom/dad is your best friend

  • KalTorakKalTorak One way or another, they all end up in the Undercity.Registered User regular
    KalTorak wrote: »
    The book my parents threw at me had a lot of Jesus talk in it, and warned against masturbation without telling me how to do it.

    what the fuck good is that to me

    The book my parents threw at me suggested masturbating with my best friend so that we could compare methods.

    I did not follow the book's advice, and that was the last time I looked at that book.

    What if you're one of those people who says your mom/dad is your best friend

    Or what about Man's Best Friend

    fortyThe Word of Bird
  • KalTorakKalTorak One way or another, they all end up in the Undercity.Registered User regular
    I have probably been too frank at home, honestly. It’s a problem I have: I hate lies.

    217536661_hXTNm-L-2.jpg

    streeverDarmakOatscB557KamarThe Word of Bird
  • Twenty SidedTwenty Sided Registered User regular
    edited July 2014
    I had The Talk when I was much younger. It involved an anatomy diagram.

    My reaction was mainly, "Really? That's how it works? But I pee with that."

    Twenty Sided on
  • Soul SanctumSoul Sanctum Registered User regular
    edited July 2014
    Goose! wrote: »
    either,or wrote: »

    Ahh I miss Mike's old (i.e. good) art style.

    yaHdpLt.jpg

    Soul Sanctum on
    streeverThe Word of Bird
  • fortyforty Registered User regular
    Jerry's newspost is linking Wednesday's comic. Sadly, the link will not take us to Wednesday's comic for another couple days.

    The best card in Hearthstone is your credit card.
    The lie of the year.
  • fortyforty Registered User regular
    I don't recall that I ever had "the talk" with my parents. I think I just gradually gleaned things from a variety of sources (sex ed, friends, TV, peer ridicule, internet in my later teens). However, I figured out at a very young age that if you touch "it" in the right ways it feels good.

    "Then when you get older, stuff comes out."

    The best card in Hearthstone is your credit card.
    The lie of the year.
  • BrewBrew Registered User regular
    YoungFrey wrote: »
    Comradebot wrote: »
    Which reminds me, she also mentioned that Asian girls have sideways vaginas.

    How would that even
    I've actually heard that one before. But damned if I know where the hell it got started.

    I heard the same from an uncle when I was young but he said it was Jewish girls built such. People are fucked up.

    1st ever "Penny-Arcade Hero Academy Tournament" Toilet Bowl Champion!
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    "You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
    And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should."
    SmrtnikThe Word of Bird
  • joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    edited July 2014
    The really baffling thing is

    Why would that even matter, even if it was true

    It's not like it can't still serve its intended functions!

    joshofalltrades on
    SmrtnikThe Word of Bird
  • YoungFreyYoungFrey Registered User regular
    edited July 2014
    The really baffling thing is

    Why would that even matter, even if it was true

    It's not like it can't still serve its intended functions!

    Yeah, because a mystery has always been a great way to divert the interest of children.

    YoungFrey on
    joshofalltradesstreeverThe Word of Bird
  • Pinky_PowersPinky_Powers Registered User regular
    My father never told me a goddamn thing about this either. He won't shut up about the boring shit, but sex? I was schooled by friends. One of them was four years older than me, and the other turned out to be gay. :)

    My mother gave my sisters a "secret book" to teach them the mysteries of womanhood. But me and my penis were left to your own devices, and the mercies of the cold, hard street.

    -~ÿ~-Pinky-~ÿ~-
    Beer is the perfect lubricant for twisted and vile animal gibberish. I use it myself when the times are ripe and my need great.
  • joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    edited July 2014
    But me and my penis were left to your own devices, and the mercies of the cold, hard street.

    What's wrong with a good old-fashioned tube sock? The street sounds like it would chafe.

    joshofalltrades on
    admanbfightinfilipinoQuidComradebotcB557The Word of Bird
  • StericaSterica Yes Registered User, Moderator mod
    Gabe better act fast or else the kid is going to ask Uncle Tycho.

    YL9WnCY.png
    joshofalltradesQuidZxerolcB557The Word of Bird
  • MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    My parents threw a giant book at me, told me to read it, and said to come talk to them if I still had questions.

    Was it Flowers for Algernon?

    Jokerman wrote: »
    If sigs were still a thing this would be mine.
    Lindsay Lohan
  • Commander ZoomCommander Zoom Registered User regular
    Who will, presumably, tell him about the two peepees.

    steam_sig.png
    Steam, Warframe: Megajoule
    The Word of Bird
  • joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    MichaelLC wrote: »
    My parents threw a giant book at me, told me to read it, and said to come talk to them if I still had questions.

    Was it Flowers for Algernon?

    Flowers for Algernon isn't that long though! It is a short story.

    Moby Dick, maybe. The book was very large.

    Unless you're trying to say my posts have become gradually more intelligent until they peaked, and are now becoming dumber.

  • MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    MichaelLC wrote: »
    My parents threw a giant book at me, told me to read it, and said to come talk to them if I still had questions.

    Was it Flowers for Algernon?

    Flowers for Algernon isn't that long though! It is a short story.

    Moby Dick, maybe. The book was very large.

    Unless you're trying to say my posts have become gradually more intelligent until they peaked, and are now becoming dumber.

    Sure... :#

    Meant the awkward sex stuff in it.

    Jokerman wrote: »
    If sigs were still a thing this would be mine.
  • BarrakkethBarrakketh Registered User regular
    Who will, presumably, tell him about the two peepees.
    Maybe.
    Tycho wrote:
    But my son does know what his dick is about, on account of a policy called Facts By Five. He listened in ever crystallizing horror until everything seemed to coalesce for him, he said “Okay,” and finished building his robot; a robot now studded with brutal, gas-powered chain-dongs.

    Rollers are red, chargers are blue....omae wa mou shindeiru
    GethcB557
  • GaslightGaslight Registered User regular
    Not surprised Geth approves.

    bowen wrote: »
    The bacteria in your poop exist everywhere.
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