Hi there. I have myself a...interesting pickle. Via the power of internet dating I recently met and reached third base with a very lovely lady. It was prettty hot.
But after the initial throws of passion, I started to notice some things that were a little...off. Grammar, putting together sentences was staggered sometimes, and it became clear to me, very quickly, that this girl I've been seeing very possibly has some kind of...mental impairment.
At the same time I don't think I'm taking advantage of this person, as she has her own apartment and a pretty good job, but there are certainly red flags aplenty, including calling me 3-4 times in a row if I don't pick up just to say hi, relating to me during the throws of passion a story about something a family member did that was pretty horrible, and at the age of 29, she hadn't ever been with a guy, or so she says, until I showed up. I have communicated to her that I am unsure where this relationship is going, and I don't want to push things too far too fast, and she seemed pretty okay with it.
She likes a lot of the same things I do, is a real sweet girl, has a killer body (honest!) and for what it's worth I've had a complex my entire life that I, too, may have some sort of mental deficiency if my handwriting, ability to process information, and general lack of organization skills are to be believed (don't worry, I'm seeing a shrink next week for that).
So, four questions:
1. How does someone ask someone else if they have a mental impairment like asperger's or something else without sounding like the world's biggest hairy asshole?
2. How can I know for certain this person has their mental shit together at least emotionally? Again she over shared a few things, called a bunch, and did some other kind of...odd stuff that wasn't particularly annoying or scary, but I worry that if some day down the road I say I can't come over when I said I would, she may say or do something that ends poorly for everyone.
3. On the 'you piece of shit' sliding scale of one to the dude from Lolita, how bad should I feel about this, and should I feel bad at all? She seems to be enjoying herself, I'm having a good time despite some reservations, I just now find myself paranoid if the things I'm telling her to ensure I am *not* taking advantage of her, as sailing over her head.
4. I can't get in *trouble* for this right? Again, she lives on her own, has her own place, her own job, and a roommate. If I have to put her in some kind of category after our initial meetings, I'd go with 'She's a little slow' if I had too. I'm sure I'm over thinking this, but having had friends that have worked with mentally challenged people, the last thing I want to do is hurt someone's feelings, or take advantage of them, ya know?