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My living situation...

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Posts

  • BloodycowBloodycow Registered User regular
    Also, if you have a copy of your lease, there may be a clause in there regarding harassment. Should say something to the effect of if you are being harassed you have the right to break your lease.

    " I am a warrior, so that my son may be a merchant, so that his son may be a poet.”
    ― John Quincy Adams
  • Gilbert0Gilbert0 North of SeattleRegistered User regular
    mts wrote: »
    if you are on the lease then yes legally you are obligated to pay until the lease is up
    if you are not on the lease then why are you still there

    or pay whatever cancellation fees are specified in the lease. It is not reasonable to have to pay for a year lease if you need to move out in month 3. You'll end up paying 1-3 months extra but the earlier you give notice/cancellation, the better.

    GethQuid
  • SkrimsSkrims Registered User regular
    Spoke with legal today and she just told me to deliver 30 days notice in writing and leave. She said I have enough valid reasons for breaking my sublease.

    My only concern is that she is not capable of having a discussion about this and she keeps trying to pull me into arguments that she could use to attack me in court so I have to stay away in the meantime.

    She said I was putting her under duress and forcing her to sign my previous letter because I was clicking my pen.

    QuidZilla360RMS OceanicThegreatcowzepherinAngelinaJaysonFour
  • QuidQuid I don't... what... hnnng Registered User regular
    Do exactly what legal said. Don't discuss it with her. There's no argument to be made and if she thinks there is she can lawyer up and try to take on legal.

    CambiatamcdermottceresJaysonFourRainfall
  • AiouaAioua Ora Occidens Ora OptimaRegistered User regular
    edited August 2014
    wrooooong thread

    Aioua on
    life's a game that you're bound to lose / like using a hammer to pound in screws
    fuck up once and you break your thumb / if you're happy at all then you're god damn dumb
    that's right we're on a fucked up cruise / God is dead but at least we have booze
    bad things happen, no one knows why / the sun burns out and everyone dies
  • V1mV1m Registered User regular
    Skrims wrote: »
    Spoke with legal today and she just told me to deliver 30 days notice in writing and leave. She said I have enough valid reasons for breaking my sublease.

    My only concern is that she is not capable of having a discussion about this and she keeps trying to pull me into arguments that she could use to attack me in court so I have to stay away in the meantime.

    She said I was putting her under duress and forcing her to sign my previous letter because I was clicking my pen.

    I don't know if there could be a clearer signal - if there is I can't imagine what it would be - but she's building up to making a giant hailstorm of accusations about you up to and including physical attacks.

    1) Get your valuable stuff out immediately.
    2) Get your ass out immediately after that.
    3) Don't communicate with her in any way accept writing, and if by chance you find yourself in her presence, make sure that there is at least 1 known non-hostile witness present. If there isn't, get your ass away without saying anything or doing anything except moving yourself directly towards the nearest legal exit.
    4) Spend the fucking money. It'll be almost infinitely cheaper than the consequences of not following the above advice. Also as soon as you're based in a new place, you'll feel hugely happier and it will feel like money well spent.
    5) Do not for any reason give your new address to that woman or anyone you're not 100% sure won't give it to her.

    KamiroQuidZilla360CambiatatapeslingerPacificstarRaziyaPanda4YouRainfall
  • Inquisitor77Inquisitor77 2 x Penny Arcade Fight Club Champion A fixed point in space and timeRegistered User regular
    Just to clarify a couple things:

    1) Written notice does not require a signature for all parties involved. It's not a contract, it's just official notice that you intend to break the lease. Usually you can get away with getting a notary public stamp and sending it via certified mail. Make sure that when you do this, you have a duplicate copy also approved by the notary public for your own records. Double-check what the requirements are in your jurisdiction.

    2) Hindsight being 20/20, the order of operations here should have been #1 MOVE OUT AND GET YOUR SHIT OUT IMMEDIATELY, then #2 get all your legal ducks in a row. If you have to pay for a month of extra rent while getting the paperwork done, that's way, way better than dealing with crazy when it realizes its back is against the wall and it is willing to do anything purely out of spite. There is no reason to tip your hand and give crazy a heads up that it can start escalating from socially unacceptable to just pure batshit. There is only protecting yourself and getting the hell as far away as you can as fast as you can. Store this away for future reference - there is no dealing with crazy.

    Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind.
    KamiroQuidGonmunZilla360CambiataThegreatcow
  • mcdermottmcdermott Registered User regular
    Yup, step one is always getting your crap stored safely and having a place to sleep lined up. Then let them know your intent. Don't give them a chance to fuck with you or your things.

    Advice for the future.

    V1m
  • ChopperDaveChopperDave Registered User regular
    OK, standard IANAL disclaimer here, and also a disclaimer that I am not a member of the armed services (though I do work for the federal government under DOD as a civilian). But since I haven't seen this addressed in the thread yet:

    1) Did you enter into the sublease before you went on active duty?
    2) Do you expect to deploy for a period of not less than 90 days in the future?

    If so, you can invoke your rights under the Servicemember Civil Relief Act. All you need to do is send a notification of your intention to terminate the lease (which you've already done) and a copy of your orders, and you're more or less good to go. I've had colleagues who have deployed on 3-6+ month TDYs as civilians to Iraq and Afghanistan and used this law to break leases early, and their circumstances were much less... dire than yours.

    3DS code: 3007-8077-4055
  • SkrimsSkrims Registered User regular
    I have a new draft of the written notice ready, but the people at legal never mentioned getting it stamped. I told her I was preparing my 30 days notice and I wanted to ask her a few questions regarding some other things and she said "It's nice that you're airing your concerns, but since you haven't contributed anything to the community I'm not just going to help you." I kept the dialog to a minimum and started packing.

    Also, because I originally had my keys in "communal space" it was okay for other people to drive the car.

    V1mJaysonFour
  • mcdermottmcdermott Registered User regular
    edited August 2014
    Skrims wrote: »
    I have a new draft of the written notice ready, but the people at legal never mentioned getting it stamped. I told her I was preparing my 30 days notice and I wanted to ask her a few questions regarding some other things and she said "It's nice that you're airing your concerns, but since you haven't contributed anything to the community I'm not just going to help you." I kept the dialog to a minimum and started packing.

    Also, because I originally had my keys in "communal space" it was okay for other people to drive the car.

    I doubt the cops would agree.

    Maybe once you get your stuff out, you should mention that.

    Edit: I mean, assuming the cops have jurisdiction over the community.

    mcdermott on
  • SkrimsSkrims Registered User regular
    mcdermott wrote: »

    I doubt the cops would agree.

    Maybe once you get your stuff out, you should mention that.

    She just doesn't get it.

    When we had our initial arguments I mentioned how much financial risk she was putting me in and she accused me of being selfish. She spoke about my concerns as if they were petty.

    She was making dinner at the time, and essentially told me that my rights as a tennent paled in comparison to dinner and that I was a terrible person for denying her human needs. Bear in mind, I was just trying to talk to her, I wasn't doing anything to prevent her from cooking.

    Well, whatever, I'm only discussing the bare legalities with her in writing now.

  • PantshandshakePantshandshake Registered User regular
    Man, get yourself a transfer to a different posting. Seriously, put the entire country between you and Crazylady.

    Zilla360CambiataJaysonFourLovely
  • Inquisitor77Inquisitor77 2 x Penny Arcade Fight Club Champion A fixed point in space and timeRegistered User regular
    edited August 2014
    Yeah, just stop engaging with the crazy. You are not going to have a rational discussion about anything with them. Get your shit out (rent a storage unit if you have to). Get yourself out. Then send written notice. There is absolutely no need to talk to them about anything, ever.

    Inquisitor77 on
    Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind.
    ceresQuidNobodyZilla360AngelHedgiePacificstarchrishallett83Panda4YouLovely
  • GonmunGonmun He keeps kickin' me in the dickRegistered User regular
    mcdermott wrote: »
    Skrims wrote: »
    I have a new draft of the written notice ready, but the people at legal never mentioned getting it stamped. I told her I was preparing my 30 days notice and I wanted to ask her a few questions regarding some other things and she said "It's nice that you're airing your concerns, but since you haven't contributed anything to the community I'm not just going to help you." I kept the dialog to a minimum and started packing.

    Also, because I originally had my keys in "communal space" it was okay for other people to drive the car.

    I doubt the cops would agree.

    Maybe once you get your stuff out, you should mention that.

    Edit: I mean, assuming the cops have jurisdiction over the community.

    Yeah I was just thinking "So apparantly there is no such thing as Grand Theft Auto in the community?". Yes, I'm sure that would hold up reaaaaaalllly well in court. Also, I'm expecting an update at some point where this lady goes full Family Guy and declares the property a nation.

    On the advice front, I whole-heartedly agree with what others have said here. Get your shit and get out. Do not converse with her or engage in any way. She's not going to be any shade of reasonable so just get out of there and avoid any further confrontation and let legal sort things out should she decide to try anything. As well, it might not be a bad idea to perhaps document the things that have occured like them taking the car.

    desc wrote: »
    ~ * swole patrol flying roundhouse kick top performer recognition: April 2014 * ~
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    ceresZilla360
  • SkrimsSkrims Registered User regular
    Work has been rough today, it's hard to stay focused when I have so many obligations while someone who has no responsibility is living in the house I'm paying for. I don't get it.

  • ArtereisArtereis Registered User regular
    Man, I just don't understand how people can be like that. Good luck getting your shit in order.

  • DevoutlyApatheticDevoutlyApathetic Registered User regular
    Skrims wrote: »
    Work has been rough today, it's hard to stay focused when I have so many obligations while someone who has no responsibility is living in the house I'm paying for. I don't get it.

    Other people have got you covered on the GTFO advice and follow that shit but I would add once you can, just let it go. She's horrible and dumped a shitload of stress into your life but just move on. Don't let her drag down any more of your life than she already has. Get away and forget about her until you can tell it as a funny story about the crazy woman you once shared an apartment with.

    CambiataQuidZilla360ThegreatcowEvigilant
  • V1mV1m Registered User regular
    Skrims wrote: »
    Work has been rough today, it's hard to stay focused when I have so many obligations while someone who has no responsibility is living in the house I'm paying for. I don't get it.

    You know what's awesome?










    Living somewhere she isn't. That's gonna be a holiday every day for you.

    CambiataQuidceresJaysonFourZilla360EvigilantMoridin889
  • SkrimsSkrims Registered User regular
    I only have one small trip to make before the last of my things are gone, just little knick knacks. Currently crashing at a friends place and another shipmate coincidentally asked me to housesit for a week or so.

    Apparently were totally cool now and she is going to respect my 30 days notice but I'm still keeping my distance.

    ceresInquisitor77GonmunJaysonFourZilla360DevoutlyApatheticMahnmutQuidEvigilantAngelinaBouwsTRMS OceanicMrVyngaard
  • Dr. FrenchensteinDr. Frenchenstein Registered User regular
    i'm sure people have said this, but if you are somehow legally bound to this place on paper, make sure to get it on paper that you aren't anymore. she sounds bi-polar or something. she might be all sunshine and farts now, but something could flip her back to psycho mode a few days from now, and it's back to legal threats. talk to the landlord if need be and make sure you are in no way responsible for any further rent payments. DO NOT take this nutbag's word for it.

    JaysonFourGonmunV1mZilla360Panda4YouRMS Oceanic
  • JaysonFourJaysonFour Classy Monster Kitteh Registered User regular
    Might be wise to take a witness with you if you have to deal with said psycho. Having someone there to witness everything and to be able to testify if things should go that far could save your butt. From your posts, she sounds like she's a master at trying to turn things to her benefit to the detriment of everyone else, so it might be proper to check the condition of all your stuff- make sure it still turns on and works and hasn't been shenaniganed with.

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  • PinfeldorfPinfeldorf Realtor Santa ClaritaRegistered User regular
    You may want to mention to someone (like, the police) that she stole your car for a week while you were gone. The last thing you need is a letter arriving in the mail telling you about that red light you ran with your car's license plate on a picture. You've gotta cover your ass brother.

    She also may get some cumuppins for it, which would be a bonus.

    Panda4YouDarlan
  • SkrimsSkrims Registered User regular
    Update:

    She found some employed friends/acquaintances to move in and I'm in the clear. I found a decent little studio apartment and started my move.

    Stocking up my kitchen from scratch has been fun. I missed cooking. Everything smells good and I don't have to clean up after anyone but myself.

    ChopperDaveInxXaquinDevoutlyApatheticAngelinaInquisitor77ceresMrVyngaardJaysonFournaporeonZilla360balerbowerQuidchrishallett83GonmunLovelyRainfallalltheoliveV1mBé ChuilleJoe Camacho MKIIThegreatcowPacificstarSanguineAngelRMS Oceanic
  • InxInx Registered User regular
    I've been following this thread, and when I saw the single update just now I was worried it was going to be something awful. Instead it was great news.

    Good luck moving forward, Skrims, glad to hear things are looking up.

    naporeonZilla360NocrenGonmunLovely
  • DarlanDarlan Registered User regular
    Just read this thread, and am really happy things turned out well for you. (Though, I'm still kind of weirded out that you haven't reported her to the police for stealing your car. Your call if you'd rather leave it alone, though.)

    I've been overpaying for my own apartment to avoid things like this as well; I had a nasty roommate in college and will never, ever move in with someone I haven't known for years.

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