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Issues with moving to small town
Captain O G Readmore
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
I've lived in large cities all my life. I'm considering moving to a small town with 5000 and no other town for hundreds of miles. They have rodeos and shit.
I'd like to try a more Mayberyesque life is all. I have some concerns, though.
I can get a job no problem. It would pay 45000 to 50000. This is significantly less than i could make elsewhere but a one bedroom apartment can be found here for 500/month easy. So...should be big savings.
The job has health insurance and all this. I have a medical condition that requires medication and a doctor visit every few months. Hopefully an appropriate doctor is nearby.
I haven't driven in 10 years and my license is long expired. I guess I'd need to get a license and a car which is a pain but it can be overcome.
Nightlife isn't something I care about. Getting a girlfriend could be an issue but that's even problematic now. So no change there.
Is there something I haven't thought of? Hostile locals? Religious fundamentalism? Methamphetamine?
I'd like to try a more Mayberyesque life is all. I have some concerns, though.
I can get a job no problem. It would pay 45000 to 50000. This is significantly less than i could make elsewhere but a one bedroom apartment can be found here for 500/month easy. So...should be big savings.
The job has health insurance and all this. I have a medical condition that requires medication and a doctor visit every few months. Hopefully an appropriate doctor is nearby.
I haven't driven in 10 years and my license is long expired. I guess I'd need to get a license and a car which is a pain but it can be overcome.
Nightlife isn't something I care about. Getting a girlfriend could be an issue but that's even problematic now. So no change there.
Is there something I haven't thought of? Hostile locals? Religious fundamentalism? Methamphetamine?
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Mainly, be prepared to drive a lot. Small towns can be surprisingly un-walkable, not to mention the necessity of driving for hours to reach civilization anytime you need something that's not available locally.
Source: I grew up in a town of 7,000. It was (and is) less stagnant than most towns that size, not least because it has a college, but we still had to drive to neighboring towns to do most of our non-food shopping, for example. Internet access only gets you so far.
As for the other stuff you mentioned, it really depends on the particular culture and economy of the town you're in.
You better like to cook, because your delivery/eating out options are going to suck ass. If you can't cook, learn. If you can, learn new recipes so you don't loose your mind.
Before you move, see if the town you're looking at has a website (most do, even my tiny ass town does) and familiarize yourself with local ordinances. If you'll need to be responsible for trimming your own trees or some such, you'll want to be prepared with the proper tools or whatnot before you show up. Or, if you intend to own a dog, you'll want to know leash laws, etc.
If your medical condition could potentially have acute complications, you'll want to know how far away the closest medical responders and hospital/ER is.
Do something nice for your neighbors when you move in. Try to figure out something age and culture appropriate from what you can surmise from your view of them. Case of beer, nicknackey gifts for a housewife, bottle of wine, whatever. Small town neighbors are an invaluable resource. We had a good relationship with a few of our neighbors, got help with some home repair emergencies and rides from the airport and such. And small towns are full of gossip. Man you will learn some shit.
It's nice to get on good terms with the guy across the street so you can borrow his power tools, and he can warn you to watch out for the alcoholic who lives next door who doesn't pay his water bill and might steal water from your tap because he can't flush his own toilet because his water is shut off and he shits in a bucket in his garage and dumps it in a dumpster of the mechanic shop down the street and fuck I wish I was making that shit up.
For the most part, though, just look up the town on google maps, figure out what amenities they actually have (all we have in town is 2 bars and an convenience store) and imagine what it's like to live without all the other types of business you take for granted on a daily basis.
And scope out the internet situation there.
I actually really like the small town I lived in as a kid and spent summers at. But I also have a lot of extended family there and when I was an adult found a really good group of people to hang out with which makes for a big difference.
Mainly definitely be sure you're okay driving a lot. When visiting my mother in law I'd forgotten how far it was just to get to a grocery store and my wife noticed I was getting visibly agitated every time we had to go somewhere.
Also, as far as the religious fundamentalism goes, if you're not religious at all I personally wouldn't mention that until you have a good feel for your neighbors. I don't know what town you'll be heading to but if it's in America then odds are being faithful to God or at least appearing to be are huge deals. People won't necessarily expect you to show up at church, but claiming any belief other than Christian can get you shunned by a good chunk of the community pretty quick.
A major thing you're going to have to get used to, is basically everybody knows everything about everybody and their grandmother. So if you do something kind of asshole-ish, everybody will know about it and you'll be branded for life.
One thing that nobody's mentioned is that small towns can lack diversity, and if you're used to living in a city with a healthy mix of people, you may be in for a bit of a shock. Ten years ago, maybe 3% of my town's population was Latino/East Asian/Indian, and that it as far as diversity went. Then maybe five years ago, two white families adopted some black kids and a black couple moved in.
And this results in a couple of problems that probably wouldn't exist in a more diverse environment. For example, it's not uncommon for people to come through our town, ring doorbells, and pose as solicitors to case houses. And it's not uncommon for these individuals to be black males in their early 20's. Since our town only has six black people, any black person who isn't one of them becomes suspected of casing houses. It's a weird form of racism that you don't get in the city.
The rule of not talking about religion and politics is super true as a new person in a small town.
There's more, but those are probably the most non-cultural things to keep in mind. Every city is (mostly) the same within the US, but each small town is unique in it's own quirks. Your local brand of crazy could be quirky but friendly Mainer to xenophpobic Alabama (though those tropes are misnomers as well as there are plenty of friendly places in Alabama and plenty of hellholes in Maine).
Shopping is a much bigger hassle than people realize. Make sure there's access within a reasonable distance to everything you need. My mother-in-law lives 2 hours from a WalMart and it's a pain just to get things like toilet paper sometimes. And delivery to places like that can be spotty.
Because of your medical condition (and, really, this should be important anyway), verify the level of care you can receive in a timely fashion. Some small towns only have 1 doctor, 1 dentist, etc... and if they aren't good, you don't have other options.
Check gas prices. You'll be driving a lot and gas stations in small towns can gouge the hell out of you since you don't have any other options.
Every small town has one good bar and one trash bar. Find the good one.
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If you have any habits that are "non-traditional" you will probably have a harder time breaking into the community. And it goes way beyond sexuality/gender norms.
When I was in Junior High, a childless couple moved into a house near the school. The husband really likes having his yard look perfect. When they first moved in, he had the regular grass replaced with the stuff used on putting greens. And he used some kind of special vacuum mower on it every weekend.
This bothered people way more than it should have. People made fun of him behind his back all the time. Kids went out of their way to stomp on his lawn, and parents didn't stop them. After three years of this, he gave up and switched to regular grass.
Or there's a lady that lives close to my house who has some mental problems. Generally she's pretty friendly, but she can be a little unstable. There was a three-year period where she tied ribbons around her trees and put signs in her yard proclaiming that the government was keeping her children from visiting her. And two years ago she attacked a neighbor, (just tried to punch him a couple of times) and took a police car for a joy-ride. But for the most part she seems pretty harmless.
People refer to her as "the crazy lady," and her house as "the crazy lady's house." Kids are discouraged from trick-or-treating there. When the signs were up, people would cross the street instead of walking past her house.
So yeah, that's something you might need to think about.
Some people just let it consume them a bit much in small towns cause there's fuck all else to do.
So in the city, or a large town, you might be known as the weird guy to the people in your building, but if you wanted to socialize outside of that area, you'd be able to do so without that same stigma.
Meanwhile, in a small town, you've got 2.5K people who exclusively know you as "that nut job who vacuums his lawn," and think you deserve to have your grass destroyed by children every school year because what else did you expect moving a block away from a grade school and planting golf-grass?
- Small towns are usually very seasonal. Lots of stuff happens in the summer, and the economy booms. Things wind down for autumn / winter, and the economy basically shuts-off. A lot of local businesses will only run for part of the year.
- I don't agree with everyone about that you need a car - I don't own a car and never have - but you're probably going to be hoofing it around town if you don't have one. Public transit is not a thing most small towns can afford.
- People will get to know you. It just happens, because you will see the same people on a regular basis just going about your weekly grocery shopping routine or whatever. I'm a very introverted homebody, and I was on a first name basis with the local convenience store owner & at least half of the grocery store cashiers within a month or so of moving here.
Some towns are surprisingly diverse (Qualicum is probably 40% Caucasian, 40% Asian and 20% Everyone Else), some are almost monocultural (Sylvan Lake was a White People as it gets). Most towns have a significant religious element because the local church is a significant place for people to meet & socialize in a non-business setting; sometimes this causes an element of unhealthy fundamentalism that's amplified because small town, yo, sometimes it's not much different than living in a city suburb. Most towns have the most retarded, outrageously stupid municipal politics that you have ever seen in your life, as the city council attempts to appease the amplified representation (small town!) of fringe lobbying groups. No joke - Qualicum will not approve the development of new cell phone towers or the implementation of smart meters because a group of folks have complained that all of the radio waves will be used to manipulate their brains. They also won't approve the development of some nice, much needed studio apartments for the growing number of young adults because such a building might be taller than the town hall, and by golly, we can't have anything taller than that!
My town has TWO churches in it. Neither church exposes fundamentalism. Creationism wasn't taught in school, although my high school biology teacher made fun of it frequently.