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yo, let's get introspective

ShabootyShabooty Registered User regular
i currently don't really know what i want out of life. i don't even know what i want out of this day.

i work overnights at walmart as a janitor. might as well be a dead end job. i'm thinking about doing https://onemonth.com/courses/one-month-html but what if i don't stick with it? or what if it doesn't lead to something better?

i wish i had a girlfriend but what then? what do you do once you're in a relationship? will i eventually alienate her?

can anyone actually look past the fact that i have cerebral palsy? do they silently pity me?

there's so many things i wish i knew how to do but i have no motivation to learn. i wish my life was better but i do nothing to make it so

i look to my future and see nothing.


but enough about me. anyone else got any doubts or fears they wish to share?

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    HermanoHermano Registered User regular
    Sometimes I worry if I'm too awesome

    Not often though


    PSN- AHermano
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    YaYaYaYa Decent. Registered User regular
    I am worried I am overly reliant on boasting about myself as a defense mechanism to avoid growing as a person

    I also have a huge penis

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    JohnHamJohnHam Registered User regular
    It's a difficult thing to do something outside your comfort zone, to push towards something ambiguously "better" or potentially more satisfying. Acts of self-improvement can be, sometimes, courageous.

    I think you should give the One Month thing a shot. Maybe it's not for you, ultimately, but part of figuring yourself out is trying and failing (sometimes spectacularly).

    signature.png

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    SCREECH OF THE FARGSCREECH OF THE FARG #1 PARROTHEAD margaritavilleRegistered User regular
    I think that you/I can only be who you are, but you get to decide who "you" is. So I could be whoever I want if I just identify the things I don't like and work to change them. But sometimes I am upset or disappointed about things or my friends and I think that well, couldn't I just try to become the kind of person who doesn't care about the things that are hurting me, but I don't think I want to be that person

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    HermanoHermano Registered User regular
    Sometimes I try to deflect from my cripplingly low self-esteem with poor attempts at humour


    PSN- AHermano
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    Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    Hermano wrote: »
    Sometimes I worry if I'm too awesome

    Not often though

    You're currently at an 11. I'd like you to turn it down to maybe a 6.

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    Professor FuzzlesProfessor Fuzzles Not a furry, just sayin' FuzztopiaRegistered User regular
    Im very fat, ugly, depressed, not as smart as I think I am and transgendered to boot, I have been alone for 30 plus years now, going to take a wild guess that if I am lucky enough to make it another 30 I am still going to be alone.

    But I am not always unhappy as I used to be about that.
    I suppose if you think its going to happen like that then you cope and get used to the idea.

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    WheatBun01WheatBun01 Face It, Tiger Registered User regular
    I have an insatiable urge to be the center of attention and absolutely no idea what to do when it happens.

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    MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    My issues pale in comparison to most people's

    But I do get concerned about my ability to function in the real world

    I'm constantly concerned I'm doing something wrong and being silently judged for it, etc.

    I also think (my therapist does too) I have OCD and ADHD, soo

    Also my anxiety gets pretty nasty sometimes!

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    Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    My anxiety was out of control to the point where I was having panic attacks several times a day. Fortunately, the prozac has made a huge difference for me in that regard.

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    Lindsay LohanLindsay Lohan Registered User regular
    I often worry that whatever used to make me creative in my young age has completely dried up and withered. I used to paint and draw and be artsy - now I'm old I feel like I don't have that ability anymore. I sit down to try to do something creative and feel like I'll be judged or feel like I want everything to be perfect and it takes the fun out of things.

    Sometimes I debate getting super drunk and painting and seeing if that helps.

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    #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    @Shabooty‌ I think you should totally do one month

    or better yet, combine it with a coding course at a community college or technical school. Meet some new people.

    One thing my mum always said which has rung true more times than not - "If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got"

    Change is great. It's hard, but it's the stuff of life, it's where all the good shit comes from. 3 years ago I was desperate, I'd just been dumped by someone I loved who never really loved me back, I was still living at home, more and more of my friends were moving away or losing touch, I was spending all my money on booze and food and pointless shit.

    I decided I needed a change - the bigger the better. Now I live in a whole other country, with a whole new group of friends and a whole new, positive thing to spend all my time on, and on top of that I met an incredible lady who makes me super happy and married the hell out of her.

    You can't see what's around the corner, all you can do is be ready and eager to make the most out of it.

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    Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    Introspection, hmm?

    Almost every single major decision I've made since my early teenage years has been the wrong one. I'm very nearly 32, desperately hoping that my wonderful partner doesn't wise up and find herself someone that's less of a loser, because she's the biggest one of the few good choices I have managed to make.

    Joining up here was another good choice, I have met some incredible people on these forums, and my life is enrichened every day I get to interact with you all. It's nice to have a decent group of folks I can talk with about ANYTHING at all, at any time of the day.

    In fact, I think all of the good choices I've made have been to do with whom I associate. I have no career and very little education, what money I did make I spent on the wrong things (like a fucking sports car{that I miss every day}), and I still don't have any goals in life other than get a job, suck less, buy house, put a ring on it, try really hard to be a good Dad one day.

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    RadiusRadius Registered User regular
    I desperately want someone to care about how I'm doing, but don't ever feel safe actually talking about what is hurting me so that when someone actually has the time and patience to put up with my bullshit and ask how I'm doing I just lie and tell them everything's alright.

    Everyday we stray further from God's light
    Steam Switch FC: 2799-7909-4852
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    LarlarLarlar consecutive normal brunches Moderator, ClubPA mod
    I worry that I'm losing the ability to form coherent sandwiches.

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    ChincymcchillaChincymcchilla Registered User regular
    I love my girlfriend but she's not very share-y and though she seems pretty happy, I never really get a candid assessment of how I'm doing as a partner and its worries me

    But I mean she's planning on buying a house with me so I can't be doing that bad

    I have a podcast about Power Rangers:Teenagers With Attitude | TWA Facebook Group
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    LiiyaLiiya Registered User regular
    Make a score-sheet for her to fill in about you, everyone loves a filling in a score-sheet.

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    RadiusRadius Registered User regular
    It's pretty fun, no lie.

    Everyday we stray further from God's light
    Steam Switch FC: 2799-7909-4852
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    JayKaosJayKaos Registered User regular
    Larlar wrote: »
    I worry that I'm losing the ability to form coherent sandwiches.

    I always end up either having a ton of condiments but forgetting to buy actual things to put in the sandwich, or having an incredibly dry boring sandwich with meat and cheese and nothing on them. Somehow never manage to own all the ingredients for a sandwich at the same time.

    Steam | SW-0844-0908-6004 and my Switch code
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    Lindsay LohanLindsay Lohan Registered User regular
    Liiya wrote: »
    Make a score-sheet for her to fill in about you, everyone loves a filling in a score-sheet.

    Or maybe put together a nice survey using surveymonkey or something similar.

    Like
    "How am I sexing? 1 - 10 (1 = coat rack, 10 = I should be selling my services)"
    "How would you rate my abs? 1 - 10 (1 = Rush Limbaugh, 10 = Sexy Werewolf)"
    "How do you like my homefries? 1 - 10 (1 = delicious, 10 = amazing)"

    The last one is rigged because I couldn't handle it if my wife secretly didn't like my homefries.

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    LiiyaLiiya Registered User regular
    Your cool kid lingo defeats me Lindsey.

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    Librarian's ghostLibrarian's ghost Librarian, Ghostbuster, and TimSpork Registered User regular
    Liiya wrote: »
    Your cool kid lingo defeats me Lindsey.

    I know right? Homefries?

    (Switch Friend Code) SW-4910-9735-6014(PSN) timspork (Steam) timspork (XBox) Timspork


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    SLyMSLyM Registered User regular
    I'm planning on going back to college soon but I don't even know what job I want when I get out and I'm nervous that I'll have a repeat of the last time I went where I made no friends and eventually became a heavily depressed hermit hiding in my room 90% of the time.

    My friend is working on a roguelike game you can play if you want to. (It has free demo)
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    Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    Hermano wrote: »
    Sometimes I try to deflect from my cripplingly low self-esteem with poor attempts at humour

    I do this so much it's become my defining trait. I'm the funny one! People like me because of my jokes! If I stop making people laugh I'll die! Hahaha!

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    POKÉMON MASTER WT SHERMANPOKÉMON MASTER WT SHERMAN i can make this march and i will make georgia howlRegistered User regular
    everything's basically okay so of course i worry that maybe it could be better

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    steam | xbox live: IGNORANT HARLOT | psn: MadRoll | nintendo network: spinach
    3ds: 1504-5717-8252
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    PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    I blame this forum for making me spend a lot of time thinking about romantic relationships a while back

    This began to make me feel rather unhappy, but it's getting better I guess

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    Lindsay LohanLindsay Lohan Registered User regular
    Liiya wrote: »
    Your cool kid lingo defeats me Lindsey.

    I know right? Homefries?

    The sad truth is that my homefries are in fact quite literal.

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    DoobhDoobh She/Her, Ace Pan/Bisexual 8-) What's up, bootlickers?Registered User regular
    I just got out of a relationship, and a big part of that was my brain problems getting in the way. And now that it's over, she's been especially loving and understanding.

    What the fuck? Where was all this a year and a half ago?

    People are fucking weird.

    Miss me? Find me on:

    Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
    Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
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    Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    In 100 days I will be embarking on a year-long quest that may completely change my life and make one of my biggest dreams, that I never really believed would happen, a reality.

    I have been alternating between ecstatic excitement and nauseating anxiety. Recently I've been experiencing both simultaneously resulting in a zen-like state of surreal calm.

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    WearingglassesWearingglasses Of the friendly neighborhood variety Registered User regular
    I kept wondering where my motivation to draw went. I've thought about it at length and pretty much concluded that I'm just lazy and it's not just drawing I no longer do. Which kinda depresses me. I got all these ideas that need putting down into paper and I couldn't really do them any justice, as it looks a lot cooler in my head than what I've started.

    I've also gotten a lot more critical about my stuff, which is maybe why I'm hesitating more to draw, since I pinpoint mistakes and lose steam without finishing my work.

    It also brings about me thinking if my ideas really needed recording, or maybe they're just rehashes and unoriginal content and I don't really have that much creativity in my system as I'd like to think.

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    PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    Say no to anxiety, Smof

    Say yes to wrestling lions

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    PeenPeen Registered User regular
    Liiya wrote: »
    Make a score-sheet for her to fill in about you, everyone loves a filling in a score-sheet.

    Or maybe put together a nice survey using surveymonkey or something similar.

    Like
    "How am I sexing? 1 - 10 (1 = coat rack, 10 = I should be selling my services)"
    "How would you rate my abs? 1 - 10 (1 = Rush Limbaugh, 10 = Sexy Werewolf)"
    "How do you like my homefries? 1 - 10 (1 = delicious, 10 = amazing)"

    The last one is rigged because I couldn't handle it if my wife secretly didn't like my homefries.

    I had no idea Diablo Cody was a member of the boards.

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    nukanuka What are circles? Registered User regular
    I want to live in the city where I am for a long time, but the rent keeps skyrocketing around and above $1000 per month, and I make $9.42 an hour.

    All I did was just pick Elementary School Science Teacher as my "dream job" but I'm worried that I'll be in school forever and I'm 27 and it's going to cost so much money and ugh.

    My feet are killing me, and I have to wait until Thursday to buy new insoles and painkillers.

    Weaver is super helpful though, I just wish things were easier.

    DS: 2667 5365 3193 | 2DS: 2852-8590-3716
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    XaquinXaquin Right behind you!Registered User regular
    I'm pretty sure I'm never going to have another girlfriend (much less a happy marriage).

    It's been a over a year since my ex wife began cheating on me and etc., and I haven't even been on a decent date in that time. Not for lack of trying.

    Otherwise I'm fairly happy!

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    AphostileAphostile San Francisco, CARegistered User regular
    I sometimes worry that my body is NOT too bootylicious for ya babe.

    Nothing. Matters.
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    PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    That I basically stopped drawing around age 17/18 is something about which I have a lot of regrets

    In my last year of school, I still took art courses, but never finished some of the artworks I did and then pretended I lost them when it came to grading

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    #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    what money I did make I spent on the wrong things (like a fucking sports car{that I miss every day})

    this is contradictory

    If you miss it, then it made you happy, so spending money on it wasn't a mistake.

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    TubeTube Registered User admin
    Anyone who thinks they can be certain about how their life is going to be for the next thirty or forty years based on how it is at this moment is some kind of fuckwit.

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    A Dabble Of TheloniusA Dabble Of Thelonius It has been a doozy of a dayRegistered User regular
    Odds are that eventually I'll fuck something up at this job and get someone hurt or killed.

    So there's that.

    vm8gvf5p7gqi.jpg
    Steam - Talon Valdez :Blizz - Talonious#1860 : Xbox Live & LoL - Talonious Monk @TaloniousMonk Hail Satan
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    fightinfilipinofightinfilipino Angry as Hell #BLMRegistered User regular
    i'm getting married in three weeks. i'm entirely uncertain how these next three weeks are going to go. i'm hoping the wedding goes smoothly, or at the very least not a disaster!

    ffNewSig.png
    steam | Dokkan: 868846562
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