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yo, let's get introspective
Shabooty
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
i currently don't really know what i want out of life. i don't even know what i want out of this day.
i work overnights at walmart as a janitor. might as well be a dead end job. i'm thinking about doing https://onemonth.com/courses/one-month-html but what if i don't stick with it? or what if it doesn't lead to something better?
i wish i had a girlfriend but what then? what do you do once you're in a relationship? will i eventually alienate her?
can anyone actually look past the fact that i have cerebral palsy? do they silently pity me?
there's so many things i wish i knew how to do but i have no motivation to learn. i wish my life was better but i do nothing to make it so
i look to my future and see nothing.
but enough about me. anyone else got any doubts or fears they wish to share?
i work overnights at walmart as a janitor. might as well be a dead end job. i'm thinking about doing https://onemonth.com/courses/one-month-html but what if i don't stick with it? or what if it doesn't lead to something better?
i wish i had a girlfriend but what then? what do you do once you're in a relationship? will i eventually alienate her?
can anyone actually look past the fact that i have cerebral palsy? do they silently pity me?
there's so many things i wish i knew how to do but i have no motivation to learn. i wish my life was better but i do nothing to make it so
i look to my future and see nothing.
but enough about me. anyone else got any doubts or fears they wish to share?
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Not often though
PSN- AHermano
I also have a huge penis
I think you should give the One Month thing a shot. Maybe it's not for you, ultimately, but part of figuring yourself out is trying and failing (sometimes spectacularly).
PSN- AHermano
You're currently at an 11. I'd like you to turn it down to maybe a 6.
But I am not always unhappy as I used to be about that.
I suppose if you think its going to happen like that then you cope and get used to the idea.
But I do get concerned about my ability to function in the real world
I'm constantly concerned I'm doing something wrong and being silently judged for it, etc.
I also think (my therapist does too) I have OCD and ADHD, soo
Also my anxiety gets pretty nasty sometimes!
Sometimes I debate getting super drunk and painting and seeing if that helps.
or better yet, combine it with a coding course at a community college or technical school. Meet some new people.
One thing my mum always said which has rung true more times than not - "If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got"
Change is great. It's hard, but it's the stuff of life, it's where all the good shit comes from. 3 years ago I was desperate, I'd just been dumped by someone I loved who never really loved me back, I was still living at home, more and more of my friends were moving away or losing touch, I was spending all my money on booze and food and pointless shit.
I decided I needed a change - the bigger the better. Now I live in a whole other country, with a whole new group of friends and a whole new, positive thing to spend all my time on, and on top of that I met an incredible lady who makes me super happy and married the hell out of her.
You can't see what's around the corner, all you can do is be ready and eager to make the most out of it.
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
Almost every single major decision I've made since my early teenage years has been the wrong one. I'm very nearly 32, desperately hoping that my wonderful partner doesn't wise up and find herself someone that's less of a loser, because she's the biggest one of the few good choices I have managed to make.
Joining up here was another good choice, I have met some incredible people on these forums, and my life is enrichened every day I get to interact with you all. It's nice to have a decent group of folks I can talk with about ANYTHING at all, at any time of the day.
In fact, I think all of the good choices I've made have been to do with whom I associate. I have no career and very little education, what money I did make I spent on the wrong things (like a fucking sports car{that I miss every day}), and I still don't have any goals in life other than get a job, suck less, buy house, put a ring on it, try really hard to be a good Dad one day.
Steam Switch FC: 2799-7909-4852
But I mean she's planning on buying a house with me so I can't be doing that bad
Steam Switch FC: 2799-7909-4852
I always end up either having a ton of condiments but forgetting to buy actual things to put in the sandwich, or having an incredibly dry boring sandwich with meat and cheese and nothing on them. Somehow never manage to own all the ingredients for a sandwich at the same time.
Or maybe put together a nice survey using surveymonkey or something similar.
Like
"How am I sexing? 1 - 10 (1 = coat rack, 10 = I should be selling my services)"
"How would you rate my abs? 1 - 10 (1 = Rush Limbaugh, 10 = Sexy Werewolf)"
"How do you like my homefries? 1 - 10 (1 = delicious, 10 = amazing)"
The last one is rigged because I couldn't handle it if my wife secretly didn't like my homefries.
I know right? Homefries?
I do this so much it's become my defining trait. I'm the funny one! People like me because of my jokes! If I stop making people laugh I'll die! Hahaha!
steam | xbox live: IGNORANT HARLOT | psn: MadRoll | nintendo network: spinach
3ds: 1504-5717-8252
This began to make me feel rather unhappy, but it's getting better I guess
The sad truth is that my homefries are in fact quite literal.
What the fuck? Where was all this a year and a half ago?
People are fucking weird.
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
I have been alternating between ecstatic excitement and nauseating anxiety. Recently I've been experiencing both simultaneously resulting in a zen-like state of surreal calm.
I've also gotten a lot more critical about my stuff, which is maybe why I'm hesitating more to draw, since I pinpoint mistakes and lose steam without finishing my work.
It also brings about me thinking if my ideas really needed recording, or maybe they're just rehashes and unoriginal content and I don't really have that much creativity in my system as I'd like to think.
Say yes to wrestling lions
I had no idea Diablo Cody was a member of the boards.
All I did was just pick Elementary School Science Teacher as my "dream job" but I'm worried that I'll be in school forever and I'm 27 and it's going to cost so much money and ugh.
My feet are killing me, and I have to wait until Thursday to buy new insoles and painkillers.
Weaver is super helpful though, I just wish things were easier.
It's been a over a year since my ex wife began cheating on me and etc., and I haven't even been on a decent date in that time. Not for lack of trying.
Otherwise I'm fairly happy!
In my last year of school, I still took art courses, but never finished some of the artworks I did and then pretended I lost them when it came to grading
this is contradictory
If you miss it, then it made you happy, so spending money on it wasn't a mistake.
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
So there's that.
Steam - Talon Valdez :Blizz - Talonious#1860 : Xbox Live & LoL - Talonious Monk @TaloniousMonk Hail Satan
steam | Dokkan: 868846562