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America's Unhealthy Media, Porn Vs Violence

13»

Posts

  • _J__J_ Pedant Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    You know what's interesting?
    I haven't paid for a ticket to a Mark Wahlberg film since he decided that he was too serious to take his shirt off.

    That post is totally fine. But this:
    I haven't paid for a ticket to a Eva Green film since she decided that she was too serious to take her shirt off.

    This would be some reprehensible, sexist shit.

    And that, children, is what we call equality.

  • Regina FongRegina Fong Allons-y, Alonso Registered User regular
    _J_ wrote: »
    You know what's interesting?
    I haven't paid for a ticket to a Mark Wahlberg film since he decided that he was too serious to take his shirt off.

    That post is totally fine. But this:
    I haven't paid for a ticket to a Eva Green film since she decided that she was too serious to take her shirt off.

    This would be some reprehensible, sexist shit.

    And that, children, is what we call equality.

    It's probably not fine though, I mean, I felt rather bad after I posted it.

    But the truth is simply that I think he was a better underwear model than he is an actor.

  • IncenjucarIncenjucar VChatter Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    Sexual objectification is not automatically sexism.

  • _J__J_ Pedant Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    Incenjucar wrote: »
    Sexual objectification is not automatically sexism.

    This does not seem to be an idea shared by many people. Just going by past conversations we have had in D&D. And G&T.

    It seems to be the case that, in many situations, the sexual objectification of a member of one particular sex/gender is assumed to be sexist, while a similar sexual objectification made of a member of a different particular sex/gender, is thought to be fine.

    Not only do we treat sex and violence differently in the media, but we treat sex differently, depending on the sex/gender of the particular individual being depicted.

    I'm curious if people find that to be odd, as well. The hangups we have about sex / violence, are similar to the hangups we have about males, females, other configurations, and some fourth category of configurations that do not fit into that third category, in order to avoid the notion that there are "male", "female" and "other" as the only sex/gender categories.

    If we're going to think of our conceptions of sex as weird, the conceptions we maintain of the particular sexes will likely be weird, too.

  • _J__J_ Pedant Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    _J_ wrote: »
    You know what's interesting?
    I haven't paid for a ticket to a Mark Wahlberg film since he decided that he was too serious to take his shirt off.

    That post is totally fine. But this:
    I haven't paid for a ticket to a Eva Green film since she decided that she was too serious to take her shirt off.

    This would be some reprehensible, sexist shit.

    And that, children, is what we call equality.

    It's probably not fine though, I mean, I felt rather bad after I posted it.

    But the truth is simply that I think he was a better underwear model than he is an actor.

    I did not mean to reprimand you.

    Rather, I noticed, after reading your post, that if it had been about Eva Green, or another actress who appears topless sometimes, the post would have received far more replies of a...non-complimentary tone.

  • poshnialloposhniallo Registered User regular
    _J_ wrote: »
    The reason that love hotels exist is for privacy

    I think we may be talking past each other. Yes, love hotels exist because they provide privacy.

    The question I'm addressing, and that the thread is addressing, is: Why do the people having sex want privacy?

    Japanese people rarely touch, hug, or kiss in public. Many things are considered private that you would not. Many people are reluctant to say where they work, if it is well-known. They don't want to show off. Many would consider telling an adult family member that they love them deeply odd.

    Sex is private. So are many other things. But that is different from having a taboo about these things. Among family, nudity is commonplace. Children often share a bed with a parent until puberty. We bathe together. We even have public baths where strangers bathe together naked, although they are divided by sex.

    My basic point is that you aren't going to find a grand unified theory of human sexual behaviour, because there are cultures much more different than the Japanese. It's Semitic religions that are the main force for prudery in the modern world. Where their influence is weaker, things are often very different.

    I figure I could take a bear.
  • ArchangleArchangle Registered User regular
    The reason that love hotels exist is for privacy
    For me and my friends while I lived in Japan, the reason that love hotels exist is so you can have a night on the town and get a 3 hour nap before the trains restart without having to pay for a full night at a regular hotel.

  • QuidQuid Definitely not a banana Registered User regular
    _J_ wrote: »
    You know what's interesting?
    I haven't paid for a ticket to a Mark Wahlberg film since he decided that he was too serious to take his shirt off.

    That post is totally fine. But this:
    I haven't paid for a ticket to a Eva Green film since she decided that she was too serious to take her shirt off.

    This would be some reprehensible, sexist shit.

    And that, children, is what we call equality.

    Because context, bro.

    I know you hate it, but that's life.

  • emnmnmeemnmnme Registered User regular
    If we all agree it's outdated, lingering wisps of Puritan thinking that started Americans uptight outlook about sex and nudity, then we should also agree rules for the sake of rules keeps things that way. If there are FCC rules against networks showing sex and nudity during primetime TV, then Americans will be conditioned to reflexively get squicked out about nudity. Monkey see, monkey do. Even here on this board there are rules that subtly shape our thinking - I can post a video of a compilation of all the gory Mortal Kombat fatalities ever or I can link to a violent Penny Arcade comic but I would be banned if I were to post a video of a wet T-shirt contest or link to a picture of a model posing for an artistic nude. And what gets me is we all know it's outdated Puritanical thinking behind all this - I know it, you know it, the mods know it, Icy and Tube know it - but the rules are what they are.

  • ShadowfireShadowfire Vermont, in the middle of nowhereRegistered User regular
    To be fair, the puritanical thinking extends way outside of the forum in this case. Many forumers visit this site on their company computers, and those tasteful nudes could easily end up with a visit to the HR office.

    WiiU: Windrunner ; Guild Wars 2: Shadowfire.3940 ; PSN: Bradcopter
  • emnmnmeemnmnme Registered User regular
    Shadowfire wrote: »
    To be fair, the puritanical thinking extends way outside of the forum in this case. Many forumers visit this site on their company computers, and those tasteful nudes could easily end up with a visit to the HR office.

    Same problem then. A tight ban on sex and nudity gets people thinking in the backs of their minds there must be something wrong with sex and nudity.

  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    Basically america has to rip off the band aid of our puritanical nudity thing. All at once we just need to have dongs and ginas everywhere, like Caligula.

    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
  • FeralFeral MEMETICHARIZARD interior crocodile alligator ⇔ ǝɹʇɐǝɥʇ ǝᴉʌoɯ ʇǝloɹʌǝɥɔ ɐ ǝʌᴉɹp ᴉRegistered User regular
    Preacher wrote: »
    Basically america has to rip off the band aid of our puritanical nudity thing. All at once we just need to have dongs and ginas everywhere, like Caligula.

    NYPD Blue didn't do it, Janet Jackson's nipple didn't do it. There's been less nudity in mainstream Hollywood films over time since the 70s & 80s. Right now, the only people who are pushing the envelope are the folks at HBO, though they've been doing that since Dream On.

    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.

    the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    Dennis Franz's ass, and Janet Jacksons franken nipple were never going to bring us to a new utopia Feral! We need Timothy Olyphant having sex with a cloned Timothy Olyphant!

    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
  • Regina FongRegina Fong Allons-y, Alonso Registered User regular
    Feral wrote: »
    Preacher wrote: »
    Basically america has to rip off the band aid of our puritanical nudity thing. All at once we just need to have dongs and ginas everywhere, like Caligula.

    NYPD Blue didn't do it, Janet Jackson's nipple didn't do it. There's been less nudity in mainstream Hollywood films over time since the 70s & 80s. Right now, the only people who are pushing the envelope are the folks at HBO, though they've been doing that since Dream On.

    Don't forget Starz.

    One thing I can say for sure about Spartacus is that after watching some of the gorier scenes in that show, moving on to a scene that shows wang or boobs is like, greatly preferable to gratuitous decapitations.

  • SynthesisSynthesis Honda Today! Registered User regular
    edited October 2014
    poshniallo wrote: »
    _J_ wrote: »
    The reason that love hotels exist is for privacy

    I think we may be talking past each other. Yes, love hotels exist because they provide privacy.

    The question I'm addressing, and that the thread is addressing, is: Why do the people having sex want privacy?

    Japanese people rarely touch, hug, or kiss in public. Many things are considered private that you would not. Many people are reluctant to say where they work, if it is well-known. They don't want to show off. Many would consider telling an adult family member that they love them deeply odd.

    Maybe this is a regional thing--ten years ago, in Yokohama, you can easily find people who are clearly and obviously family members (parents-children) hugging at places where you'd see both of them (schools, sports fields, etc.). Especially smaller children, whom you can find parents hugging all the time. if you're living in a place where parents have children, I can't say it was rare at all (then again, there are plenty of schools in Yokohama).

    You don't see a great deal of hugging otherwise but--and maybe it's just because I live in Georgia--I don't see a great deal of hugging having spent several years in multiple cities in Georgia. In fact, outside of strict family situations (again, schools and sporting events) and very specific celebratory situations, I've seen almost no hugging in public. I see it in movies, sure, but they're hardly an accurate representation of real life. Obviously, the arrival gate at the world's busiest airport doesn't exactly count.

    On the other hand, I remember a few years back when had a thread about the use of hugging in the place of a handshake in US culture, where the response fell roughly divided between, "Hugging is awesome and why the fuck would you want a handshake when you could get a hug?" and "Why the fuck should I hug a complete stranger just to be polite? What's the matter with you?" To be clear, I fell in the second category.

    I certainly wouldn't argue that there's a common standard for sexual and romantic everyday norms, but I do want to offer a suggestion that it can be tricky to define--if I lived in downtown Atlanta the whole time I was in the United States, I could just as accurately say, "Americans never smile in public. It's a private thing." Hence the dilemma in this area.

    EDIT: And as an additional counterpoint--girls in Taiwan hold hands way more than girls in the United States, and in a way larger age group. I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that in a majority of cases, it's not romantic but platonic. By that standard, American girls never seem to hold hands with other girls--at least as far as the last ten years are concerned. You can sort of see how these observations could become problematic...

    Synthesis on
  • MortiousMortious The Nightmare Begins Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    Synthesis wrote: »
    poshniallo wrote: »
    _J_ wrote: »
    The reason that love hotels exist is for privacy

    I think we may be talking past each other. Yes, love hotels exist because they provide privacy.

    The question I'm addressing, and that the thread is addressing, is: Why do the people having sex want privacy?

    Japanese people rarely touch, hug, or kiss in public. Many things are considered private that you would not. Many people are reluctant to say where they work, if it is well-known. They don't want to show off. Many would consider telling an adult family member that they love them deeply odd.

    Maybe this is a regional thing--ten years ago, in Yokohama, you can easily find people who are clearly and obviously family members (parents-children) hugging at places where you'd see both of them (schools, sports fields, etc.). Especially smaller children, whom you can find parents hugging all the time. if you're living in a place where parents have children, I can't say it was rare at all (then again, there are plenty of schools in Yokohama).

    You don't see a great deal of hugging otherwise but--and maybe it's just because I live in Georgia--I don't see a great deal of hugging having spent several years in multiple cities in Georgia. In fact, outside of strict family situations (again, schools and sporting events) and very specific celebratory situations, I've seen almost no hugging in public. I see it in movies, sure, but they're hardly an accurate representation of real life. Obviously, the arrival gate at the world's busiest airport doesn't exactly count.

    On the other hand, I remember a few years back when had a thread about the use of hugging in the place of a handshake in US culture, where the response fell roughly divided between, "Hugging is awesome and why the fuck would you want a handshake when you could get a hug?" and "Why the fuck should I hug a complete stranger just to be polite? What's the matter with you?" To be clear, I fell in the second category.

    I certainly wouldn't argue that there's a common standard for sexual and romantic everyday norms, but I do want to offer a suggestion that it can be tricky to define--if I lived in downtown Atlanta the whole time I was in the United States, I could just as accurately say, "Americans never smile in public. It's a private thing." Hence the dilemma in this area.

    EDIT: And as an additional counterpoint--girls in Taiwan hold hands way more than girls in the United States, and in a way larger age group. I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that in a majority of cases, it's not romantic but platonic. By that standard, American girls never seem to hold hands with other girls--at least as far as the last ten years are concerned. You can sort of see how these observations could become problematic...

    The handholding thing is interesting, because we had that in SA along a cultural divide.

    You never really saw it outside of couples with white people, but with blacks (specifically Zulus iirc) it was relatively common, even amongst adult males.

    It had none of the homosexual connectations that would have been present in the more white areas.

    Though I can't say how wide spread it was outside of my little corner.

    Move to New Zealand
    It’s not a very important country most of the time
    http://steamcommunity.com/id/mortious
  • SynthesisSynthesis Honda Today! Registered User regular
    Mortious wrote: »
    Synthesis wrote: »
    poshniallo wrote: »
    _J_ wrote: »
    The reason that love hotels exist is for privacy

    I think we may be talking past each other. Yes, love hotels exist because they provide privacy.

    The question I'm addressing, and that the thread is addressing, is: Why do the people having sex want privacy?

    Japanese people rarely touch, hug, or kiss in public. Many things are considered private that you would not. Many people are reluctant to say where they work, if it is well-known. They don't want to show off. Many would consider telling an adult family member that they love them deeply odd.

    Maybe this is a regional thing--ten years ago, in Yokohama, you can easily find people who are clearly and obviously family members (parents-children) hugging at places where you'd see both of them (schools, sports fields, etc.). Especially smaller children, whom you can find parents hugging all the time. if you're living in a place where parents have children, I can't say it was rare at all (then again, there are plenty of schools in Yokohama).

    You don't see a great deal of hugging otherwise but--and maybe it's just because I live in Georgia--I don't see a great deal of hugging having spent several years in multiple cities in Georgia. In fact, outside of strict family situations (again, schools and sporting events) and very specific celebratory situations, I've seen almost no hugging in public. I see it in movies, sure, but they're hardly an accurate representation of real life. Obviously, the arrival gate at the world's busiest airport doesn't exactly count.

    On the other hand, I remember a few years back when had a thread about the use of hugging in the place of a handshake in US culture, where the response fell roughly divided between, "Hugging is awesome and why the fuck would you want a handshake when you could get a hug?" and "Why the fuck should I hug a complete stranger just to be polite? What's the matter with you?" To be clear, I fell in the second category.

    I certainly wouldn't argue that there's a common standard for sexual and romantic everyday norms, but I do want to offer a suggestion that it can be tricky to define--if I lived in downtown Atlanta the whole time I was in the United States, I could just as accurately say, "Americans never smile in public. It's a private thing." Hence the dilemma in this area.

    EDIT: And as an additional counterpoint--girls in Taiwan hold hands way more than girls in the United States, and in a way larger age group. I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that in a majority of cases, it's not romantic but platonic. By that standard, American girls never seem to hold hands with other girls--at least as far as the last ten years are concerned. You can sort of see how these observations could become problematic...

    The handholding thing is interesting, because we had that in SA along a cultural divide.

    You never really saw it outside of couples with white people, but with blacks (specifically Zulus iirc) it was relatively common, even amongst adult males.

    It had none of the homosexual connectations that would have been present in the more white areas.

    Though I can't say how wide spread it was outside of my little corner.

    In Taiwan, males don't seem to hold hands either. Though I think young boys (say, less than ten) certainly did.

    On the other hand, all Taiwanese girls (really, "girls" isn't accurate, because there are women comfortably in their twenties doing this) can be found holding hands. This isn't a new thing--you can watch old films from the 80s and 70s that suggest much the same.

    On the other hand, nothing in film that I've seen, and addition to personal observation, seems to show young American women holding hands (of any ethnicity, now that I think about it). I guess it has something to do with handholding having become culturally associated with public acceptance of homosexuality and affection thereof? Handholding has to be a sign of affection in America?

    Or American women never hold hands with one another in public. I've seen nothing to suggest that American women aren't capable of close platonic friendship, so far all I know, American women only hold hands in private. Without a huge amount of data from a long period, it's hard to make much of it I think.

  • MortiousMortious The Nightmare Begins Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    edited October 2014
    Synthesis wrote: »
    Mortious wrote: »
    Synthesis wrote: »
    poshniallo wrote: »
    _J_ wrote: »
    The reason that love hotels exist is for privacy

    I think we may be talking past each other. Yes, love hotels exist because they provide privacy.

    The question I'm addressing, and that the thread is addressing, is: Why do the people having sex want privacy?

    Japanese people rarely touch, hug, or kiss in public. Many things are considered private that you would not. Many people are reluctant to say where they work, if it is well-known. They don't want to show off. Many would consider telling an adult family member that they love them deeply odd.

    Maybe this is a regional thing--ten years ago, in Yokohama, you can easily find people who are clearly and obviously family members (parents-children) hugging at places where you'd see both of them (schools, sports fields, etc.). Especially smaller children, whom you can find parents hugging all the time. if you're living in a place where parents have children, I can't say it was rare at all (then again, there are plenty of schools in Yokohama).

    You don't see a great deal of hugging otherwise but--and maybe it's just because I live in Georgia--I don't see a great deal of hugging having spent several years in multiple cities in Georgia. In fact, outside of strict family situations (again, schools and sporting events) and very specific celebratory situations, I've seen almost no hugging in public. I see it in movies, sure, but they're hardly an accurate representation of real life. Obviously, the arrival gate at the world's busiest airport doesn't exactly count.

    On the other hand, I remember a few years back when had a thread about the use of hugging in the place of a handshake in US culture, where the response fell roughly divided between, "Hugging is awesome and why the fuck would you want a handshake when you could get a hug?" and "Why the fuck should I hug a complete stranger just to be polite? What's the matter with you?" To be clear, I fell in the second category.

    I certainly wouldn't argue that there's a common standard for sexual and romantic everyday norms, but I do want to offer a suggestion that it can be tricky to define--if I lived in downtown Atlanta the whole time I was in the United States, I could just as accurately say, "Americans never smile in public. It's a private thing." Hence the dilemma in this area.

    EDIT: And as an additional counterpoint--girls in Taiwan hold hands way more than girls in the United States, and in a way larger age group. I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that in a majority of cases, it's not romantic but platonic. By that standard, American girls never seem to hold hands with other girls--at least as far as the last ten years are concerned. You can sort of see how these observations could become problematic...

    The handholding thing is interesting, because we had that in SA along a cultural divide.

    You never really saw it outside of couples with white people, but with blacks (specifically Zulus iirc) it was relatively common, even amongst adult males.

    It had none of the homosexual connectations that would have been present in the more white areas.

    Though I can't say how wide spread it was outside of my little corner.

    In Taiwan, males don't seem to hold hands either. Though I think young boys (say, less than ten) certainly did.

    On the other hand, all Taiwanese girls (really, "girls" isn't accurate, because there are women comfortably in their twenties doing this) can be found holding hands. This isn't a new thing--you can watch old films from the 80s and 70s that suggest much the same.

    On the other hand, nothing in film that I've seen, and addition to personal observation, seems to show young American women holding hands (of any ethnicity, now that I think about it). I guess it has something to do with handholding having become culturally associated with public acceptance of homosexuality and affection thereof? Handholding has to be a sign of affection in America?

    Or American women never hold hands with one another in public. I've seen nothing to suggest that American women aren't capable of close platonic friendship, so far all I know, American women only hold hands in private. Without a huge amount of data from a long period, it's hard to make much of it I think.

    I've always seen handholding as a sign of romantic affection or utility. That line gets a bit fuzzy if it's between girls* or involves kids.

    It would be interesting to see how handholding in Zulu culture is perceived now, since its (or at least I hope it is) becoming more integrated with white/western culture.

    edit: I'd also like to add that there's also a difference between how nudity is treated in white culture versus black culture. (sepcifically Zulu and Xhosa)

    Mortious on
    Move to New Zealand
    It’s not a very important country most of the time
    http://steamcommunity.com/id/mortious
  • shrykeshryke Member of the Beast Registered User regular
    edited October 2014
    Synthesis wrote: »
    poshniallo wrote: »
    _J_ wrote: »
    The reason that love hotels exist is for privacy

    I think we may be talking past each other. Yes, love hotels exist because they provide privacy.

    The question I'm addressing, and that the thread is addressing, is: Why do the people having sex want privacy?

    Japanese people rarely touch, hug, or kiss in public. Many things are considered private that you would not. Many people are reluctant to say where they work, if it is well-known. They don't want to show off. Many would consider telling an adult family member that they love them deeply odd.

    Maybe this is a regional thing--ten years ago, in Yokohama, you can easily find people who are clearly and obviously family members (parents-children) hugging at places where you'd see both of them (schools, sports fields, etc.). Especially smaller children, whom you can find parents hugging all the time. if you're living in a place where parents have children, I can't say it was rare at all (then again, there are plenty of schools in Yokohama).

    You don't see a great deal of hugging otherwise but--and maybe it's just because I live in Georgia--I don't see a great deal of hugging having spent several years in multiple cities in Georgia. In fact, outside of strict family situations (again, schools and sporting events) and very specific celebratory situations, I've seen almost no hugging in public. I see it in movies, sure, but they're hardly an accurate representation of real life. Obviously, the arrival gate at the world's busiest airport doesn't exactly count.

    On the other hand, I remember a few years back when had a thread about the use of hugging in the place of a handshake in US culture, where the response fell roughly divided between, "Hugging is awesome and why the fuck would you want a handshake when you could get a hug?" and "Why the fuck should I hug a complete stranger just to be polite? What's the matter with you?" To be clear, I fell in the second category.

    I certainly wouldn't argue that there's a common standard for sexual and romantic everyday norms, but I do want to offer a suggestion that it can be tricky to define--if I lived in downtown Atlanta the whole time I was in the United States, I could just as accurately say, "Americans never smile in public. It's a private thing." Hence the dilemma in this area.

    EDIT: And as an additional counterpoint--girls in Taiwan hold hands way more than girls in the United States, and in a way larger age group. I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that in a majority of cases, it's not romantic but platonic. By that standard, American girls never seem to hold hands with other girls--at least as far as the last ten years are concerned. You can sort of see how these observations could become problematic...

    Handholding is a thing couples do in North America. Or, I guess, a thing a parent and a child do to keep the child from doing something dumb.

    As for signs of affection, the french and the Quebequois at least are all about the kiss greeting.

    For hugging, in my experience in NA, it's handshakes between guys unless you are good friends and usually either nothing for girls you don't know very well and hugs for close friends.

    shryke on
  • poshnialloposhniallo Registered User regular
    Synthesis wrote: »
    poshniallo wrote: »
    _J_ wrote: »
    The reason that love hotels exist is for privacy

    I think we may be talking past each other. Yes, love hotels exist because they provide privacy.

    The question I'm addressing, and that the thread is addressing, is: Why do the people having sex want privacy?

    Japanese people rarely touch, hug, or kiss in public. Many things are considered private that you would not. Many people are reluctant to say where they work, if it is well-known. They don't want to show off. Many would consider telling an adult family member that they love them deeply odd.

    Maybe this is a regional thing--ten years ago, in Yokohama, you can easily find people who are clearly and obviously family members (parents-children) hugging at places where you'd see both of them (schools, sports fields, etc.). Especially smaller children, whom you can find parents hugging all the time. if you're living in a place where parents have children, I can't say it was rare at all (then again, there are plenty of schools in Yokohama).

    You don't see a great deal of hugging otherwise but--and maybe it's just because I live in Georgia--I don't see a great deal of hugging having spent several years in multiple cities in Georgia. In fact, outside of strict family situations (again, schools and sporting events) and very specific celebratory situations, I've seen almost no hugging in public. I see it in movies, sure, but they're hardly an accurate representation of real life. Obviously, the arrival gate at the world's busiest airport doesn't exactly count.

    On the other hand, I remember a few years back when had a thread about the use of hugging in the place of a handshake in US culture, where the response fell roughly divided between, "Hugging is awesome and why the fuck would you want a handshake when you could get a hug?" and "Why the fuck should I hug a complete stranger just to be polite? What's the matter with you?" To be clear, I fell in the second category.

    I certainly wouldn't argue that there's a common standard for sexual and romantic everyday norms, but I do want to offer a suggestion that it can be tricky to define--if I lived in downtown Atlanta the whole time I was in the United States, I could just as accurately say, "Americans never smile in public. It's a private thing." Hence the dilemma in this area.

    EDIT: And as an additional counterpoint--girls in Taiwan hold hands way more than girls in the United States, and in a way larger age group. I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that in a majority of cases, it's not romantic but platonic. By that standard, American girls never seem to hold hands with other girls--at least as far as the last ten years are concerned. You can sort of see how these observations could become problematic...

    Sorry, I should have been more precise, I meant adults touching etc. Kids are different. And my background is working class Irish/English, where people touch all the time.

    But I've been all over Japan and haven't noticed any big differences. And my job is talking to people, and nobody has ever mentioned this as a regional difference. I think it's a fair (and non-judgemental) depiction of Japanese attitudes to physical contact. And sex and nudity, which is much more important and relevant to the thread.

    I figure I could take a bear.
  • spacekungfumanspacekungfuman Poor and minority-filled Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    I don't know. When my dad was a kid, people would sun bathe nude on roof tops (divided by gender), everyone got nude at the gym or whatever while changing, etc. I remember large communal fitting rooms at clothing stores when I was young. I am pretty happy that all these things went away. . .

  • SynthesisSynthesis Honda Today! Registered User regular
    edited October 2014
    poshniallo wrote: »
    Synthesis wrote: »
    poshniallo wrote: »
    _J_ wrote: »
    The reason that love hotels exist is for privacy

    I think we may be talking past each other. Yes, love hotels exist because they provide privacy.

    The question I'm addressing, and that the thread is addressing, is: Why do the people having sex want privacy?

    Japanese people rarely touch, hug, or kiss in public. Many things are considered private that you would not. Many people are reluctant to say where they work, if it is well-known. They don't want to show off. Many would consider telling an adult family member that they love them deeply odd.

    Maybe this is a regional thing--ten years ago, in Yokohama, you can easily find people who are clearly and obviously family members (parents-children) hugging at places where you'd see both of them (schools, sports fields, etc.). Especially smaller children, whom you can find parents hugging all the time. if you're living in a place where parents have children, I can't say it was rare at all (then again, there are plenty of schools in Yokohama).

    You don't see a great deal of hugging otherwise but--and maybe it's just because I live in Georgia--I don't see a great deal of hugging having spent several years in multiple cities in Georgia. In fact, outside of strict family situations (again, schools and sporting events) and very specific celebratory situations, I've seen almost no hugging in public. I see it in movies, sure, but they're hardly an accurate representation of real life. Obviously, the arrival gate at the world's busiest airport doesn't exactly count.

    On the other hand, I remember a few years back when had a thread about the use of hugging in the place of a handshake in US culture, where the response fell roughly divided between, "Hugging is awesome and why the fuck would you want a handshake when you could get a hug?" and "Why the fuck should I hug a complete stranger just to be polite? What's the matter with you?" To be clear, I fell in the second category.

    I certainly wouldn't argue that there's a common standard for sexual and romantic everyday norms, but I do want to offer a suggestion that it can be tricky to define--if I lived in downtown Atlanta the whole time I was in the United States, I could just as accurately say, "Americans never smile in public. It's a private thing." Hence the dilemma in this area.

    EDIT: And as an additional counterpoint--girls in Taiwan hold hands way more than girls in the United States, and in a way larger age group. I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that in a majority of cases, it's not romantic but platonic. By that standard, American girls never seem to hold hands with other girls--at least as far as the last ten years are concerned. You can sort of see how these observations could become problematic...

    Sorry, I should have been more precise, I meant adults touching etc. Kids are different. And my background is working class Irish/English, where people touch all the time.

    But I've been all over Japan and haven't noticed any big differences. And my job is talking to people, and nobody has ever mentioned this as a regional difference. I think it's a fair (and non-judgemental) depiction of Japanese attitudes to physical contact. And sex and nudity, which is much more important and relevant to the thread.

    In Georgia, I almost never see adults hugging--outside of a sporting event as previously mentioned. In fact, one of the two exceptions--things like St. Patrick's day, or popular town events--are almost inevitably folded into sporting events as well.

    The other exception are couples, and to be honest, I'd say a very slim minority of couples are willing to hug in public. Easily less than one in ten, given that there are clearly couples everywhere.

    Almost the entirety of people I see are either young people starting out, or working class people (mostly young as well)--so I guess Georgians have very, very subdue rules about physical contact. This is definitely not a well off part of the state overall, but I have trouble imagining wealthy people in St. Simon's or elsewhere on the coast being more inclined to hug. If you took away sporting functions, you could live in Georgia and never see anyone hug another person who wasn't their own child ever if you 1) didn't follow someone around until they got extremely plastered, and happened to luck out and 2) didn't go to the victorious party headquarters during on election night.

    Georgia: not for huggers either, apparently. Maybe it's more a northeastern thing.

    Synthesis on
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