I came home to my apartment one night and I found that the screen for my window had been peeled back. I figured that someone had tried to break in and left in a hurry.
It was really weird cause first of all, my apartment is right off of campus and that window is by a pretty busy street that's right across from the campus police department.
Secondly, I have nothing but dirty underwear in my room.
I would totally use my krav maga bursting technique and duck away and under the knife while...
I saw it on Human Weapon, I can totally do it now.
Oh who am I kidding, I would just cry like a girl scout with no cookies.
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Muse Among MenSuburban Bunny Princess?Its time for a new shtick Registered Userregular
edited October 2007
How about a dog? A big pitbull with a spiked collar. Having one around would probably ward off anything who would otherwise mug/kill/rape/shanghai/round-house kick you.
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FramlingFaceHeadGeebs has bad ideas.Registered Userregular
How about a dog? A big pitbull with a spiked collar. Having one around would probably ward off anything who would otherwise mug/kill/rape/shanghai/round-house kick you.
Also, it would eat you.
Framling on
you're = you are
your = belonging to you
their = belonging to them
there = not here
they're = they are
I was in Colorado last week, visiting home. Coming back, I had to take public transportation, since none of my friends have cars. So I was on the subway with my suitcase and my backpack, collectively containing my laptop, my digital camera, and my iPod.
About three blocks away from my house, two guys come out of a nearby alley. One starts walking next to me, the other behind me. The one next to me says "Hey man, where's my dollar?" "I didn't know you were asking." "Well you got one?" "Sorry, fresh out."
The guy behind me grabs me and sticks a knife up to my neck. Says "Then I guess you better give us everything you got." Now my first thought wasn't actually fear or anything, but more irritation at how fucking cliched they were being about everything. Like, seriously. What's with the little routine in the leadup?
Anyway, I decide I'm pissed off at being mugged by such retards. I say "I'm not giving you shit. You aren't gonna stab me." He ignores me, saying "Bitch, you wanna get poked?" Now, who the fuck says "poked?" I've never been mugged before, so I'm not really up on my mugging slang. But that just sounds retarded.
At this point, I tell them I'm three blocks from home, my roommate is expecting me, and then anything that happened to me would be almost immediately discovered. The guy with the knife chose to not issue a rebuttal, instead pressing said knife harder against my neck.
I point out that if they hadn't killed me yet, they weren't planning on it. So they give up the threats and start trying to grab shit out of my pockets, the bigger one trying to hold my arm backs. For the first time ever, my years of wrestling proved helpful, and I was able to squirm around enough that they couldn't get much. One managed to snatch my wallet, at which point both of them booked.
It had $85, my license, various gift cards, and my debit card. The day before rent's due, even. Thanks, muggers!
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your = belonging to you
their = belonging to them
there = not here
they're = they are
[Int: Grocery Store]
JORDYN: Excuse me, do you know where the maple syrup is? AND THAT'S HOW ME MET.
[END SCENE]
your = belonging to you
their = belonging to them
there = not here
they're = they are
that's so meta
Me: Mind if I sit here?
Her: No, wait I mean yes.
Me. Too late!
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If any girl ended the first thing she ever said to me with the words "AND THAT'S HOW WE MET" I would pretty much be hers right there.
It was really weird cause first of all, my apartment is right off of campus and that window is by a pretty busy street that's right across from the campus police department.
Secondly, I have nothing but dirty underwear in my room.
I saw it on Human Weapon, I can totally do it now.
Oh who am I kidding, I would just cry like a girl scout with no cookies.
Also, it would eat you.
your = belonging to you
their = belonging to them
there = not here
they're = they are
oh god that was so funny
JordynNolz.com <- All my blogs (Shepard, Wasted, J'onn, DCAU) are here now!
dumbbb
That's fucking awesome.
On the upside, I have a business meeting here in a few that I was pretty nervous about. Doesn't seem like such a big deal, now.
Give me a call
But serious trouble
Not "I got too drunk and don't know where I am"
Amazon Wishlist: http://www.amazon.com/BusterK/wishlist/3JPEKJGX9G54I/ref=cm_wl_search_bin_1
:winky:
After something like that, everything else gets the volume turned down.
JordynNolz.com <- All my blogs (Shepard, Wasted, J'onn, DCAU) are here now!