I don't think he has eyes. Are there any pictures of his eyes? Or have they become permanently sealed with the alcohol with which he used to drown his wasted college years?
And probably still is drowning as we speak. Which brings to mind the fact that english major + extreme alcohol dependence = shitty, shitty beer. A Heineken must be like a 5 star hotel, with blowjobs.
VariableMouth CongressStroke Me Lady FameRegistered Userregular
edited October 2007
hey what else is there to say about someone with the style of a 17 year old rich white kid who calls himself hip, the face of Alvin the chipmunk, the alcoholic impulses of a street urchin, and the musical tastes of every black teenager in 1995?
I guess you could also say he hates the fucking beatles. but shit he'd probably want you to say that.
Someone once told me that only pasty white boys who think they're 'ghetto fabulous' put numbers in their names. His words have never been truer than in the case of celery77.
In his defense, he at least chose a very suitable name. He does have all the charisma and comeliness of a limp stalk of celery.
Though it's a big step up from "Tieg" at least. Seriously, how drunk and/or pissed off did his parents have to be to name him "Tieg"? Is that what the doctor shrieked when he saw that lumpy pink homonculous glorp out of mom's vag and thud to the floor?
ElJeffe on
I submitted an entry to Lego Ideas, and if 10,000 people support me, it'll be turned into an actual Lego set!If you'd like to see and support my submission, follow this link.
Except that as your friend from the real world who came to this forum on your invite and now notices that you are being roasted online, I must say that "Jesus fucking christ man, you are the biggest nerd I know."
If there is one thing I can say about cell, it's that he has strong opinions about music.
Most of them wrong.
Now, I'm not gonna say that Cel doesn't take care of his girlfriend.
That bitch talks back, he takes care of her ass.
The Muffin Man on
0
Podlyyou unzipped me! it's all coming back! i don't like it!Registered Userregular
edited October 2007
Also, what the fuck is up with this boy's literary tastes? Seriously, the guy likes Joan Didion, one of the most uninspiring writers ever. Bitch just ties up a bunch of unrelated stories and says "paranoia" like she had it in mind all along. I could type up a list of things that I hate more than Joan Didion lovers, but Shakespeare haters and Brian Wilson junkies would already be on that list, so it would be like some recursive nightmare of hate. The boy is on an nevr ending quest of self-defeat. He will say that The Constantines are better than Beethoven just for fucking hip value.
Also, what the fuck is up with this boy's literary tastes? Seriously, the guy likes Joan Didion, one of the most uninspiring writers ever. Bitch just ties up a bunch of unrelated stories and says "paranoia" like she had it in mind all along. I could type up a list of things that I hate more than Joan Didion lovers, but Shakespeare haters and Brian Wilson junkies would already be on that list, so it would be like some recursive nightmare of hate. The boy is on an nevr ending quest of self-defeat. He will say that The Constantines are better than Beethoven just for fucking hip value.
He probably smells of Patchouli and self righteousness like the rest of the hippies around there.
I couldn't smell any patchoulli, but I think it was just drowned out by the reek of his dismal musical tastes.
He apparently can play a mean guitar, though. Told me he'd been practicing for 11 years, now. He even offered to play me Row, Row Your Boat, though I suspect he was fronting.
ElJeffe on
I submitted an entry to Lego Ideas, and if 10,000 people support me, it'll be turned into an actual Lego set!If you'd like to see and support my submission, follow this link.
Irond WillWARNING: NO HURTFUL COMMENTS, PLEASE!!!!!Cambridge. MAModeratormod
edited October 2007
The very most endearing thing about cel is his propensity to idolize professional athletes in the same fashion that your average 14 year old girl idolizes teen heartthrobs. I'm pretty sure that cel graduated straight from Tiger Beat to Sports Illustrated and papered over his Kirk Cameron poster with a print of some sneering trash-talking baller.
I liked some of celery's older stuff, but since he got banned he's been all goody-goody choking on tube's cock. Way to sell out asshole. Doesn't take much to break you in, huh? But then, that's a fact advertised on the wall of every men's room in New Jersey. It's too bad the only thing you have in common with great American writers like Ginsberg and Whitman is taking it in the butt.
Shinto on
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VariableMouth CongressStroke Me Lady FameRegistered Userregular
Did you ever not feel bad for him? I mean, the poor kid really has nothing to look forward to from here except a long spiral into the depths of alcoholism and eventual homelessness. Besides, they haven't even created a surgery for race dysphoria yet. I can't even imagine what that kind of hopelessness must be like.
Hanging around with Cel must be like tutoring an orphan child with no legs and one of his hands is a stump, except sadder, because at least that child is warm and bright and will make it farther with that one hand than Cel ever will.
cel? homies? Pull the other one, its got bells on.
Face it, this is a guy who hates nerds and spends fuckloads of time on a gaming comic forum. Dude couldn't be any more desperate for human contact if he was on a desert island
cel? homies? Pull the other one, its got bells on.
Face it, this is a guy who hates nerds and spends fuckloads of time on a gaming comic forum. Dude couldn't be any more desperate for human contact if he was on a desert island
By "homies" I meant people he thought might be black.
(1) Yes, I have snitched here on PA, but it was on myself in a post where I was telling Tube off, because I was worried he might not see the offending rant when I posted it immediately after his warning that if I posted again he'd ban me.
(2) I can hold my liquor just fine, sometimes even in both hands at once. (Never mind the video evidence hidden away in dark corners of the internet of me drooling on myself which might illustrate the contrary.)
(3) It's not my fault you're all philistines with terrible taste. I can only help those who want to help themselves, and for the rest of you, enjoy the bad classic rock and Top 40 drivel, vapid popcorn films, and bad sci-fi/fantasy books you all seem so determined to sheepfully consume.
(4) It's not my fault that I have a backbone, am comfortable in my masculinity, and enjoy pro sports. I'm sorry you all were picked last and made fun of by the cheerleaders while they fucked the guy who put you in trash cans, but some of us are comfortable moving in the outside world, and choose to enjoy a little athletic competition while we do it.
(5) Say what you want about English majors, at least I'm not a wannabe shitty cartoonist and have realistic estimations of just what my writing is. I'm also unique in my ability to enjoy young Poldy's extravagant efforts, and I'm sorry you're all so obsessed with attaining the fifth-grade level of readability maintained by most major newspapers to be able to see it for yourselves.
In short -- fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, fuck you, and especially fuck you. I'm a little disappointed that I wasn't able to contribute to this thread ribbing myself, because at least then there would have been some funny posts in here.
(3) It's not my fault you're all philistines with terrible taste. I can only help those who want to help themselves, and for the rest of you, enjoy the bad classic rock and Top 40 drivel, vapid popcorn films, and bad sci-fi/fantasy books you all seem so determined to sheepfully consume.
It's like he thinks he's one of us, talking to someone with bad taste.
Posts
And probably still is drowning as we speak. Which brings to mind the fact that english major + extreme alcohol dependence = shitty, shitty beer. A Heineken must be like a 5 star hotel, with blowjobs.
oh dear
well, that explains the drunken urge to rant. I don't think that gunky stuff at the bottom of the vats is very good for your brain.
It's not as though he had much to ruin in the first place.
Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
I guess you could also say he hates the fucking beatles. but shit he'd probably want you to say that.
Still, you have to admit that he can suck down a bottle of Mad Train like the filthy, diseased hobo he is.
Though it's a big step up from "Tieg" at least. Seriously, how drunk and/or pissed off did his parents have to be to name him "Tieg"? Is that what the doctor shrieked when he saw that lumpy pink homonculous glorp out of mom's vag and thud to the floor?
Except that as your friend from the real world who came to this forum on your invite and now notices that you are being roasted online, I must say that "Jesus fucking christ man, you are the biggest nerd I know."
Actually, his trash wine of choice is Cisco. He's a snob even about his hobo swill.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
What I'm trying to say here is that celery77 is the Rush Hour 3 of forumers.
Most of them wrong.
Now, I'm not gonna say that Cel doesn't take care of his girlfriend.
That bitch talks back, he takes care of her ass.
I'm worried one day he will hurt himself.
Just to take a giant shit on it.
Considering everything else, he might deserve it.
I thought he couldn't achieve sexual gratification without complaining about some form of popular entertainment? He probably plays them during sex.
Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
He kinda looks like a low rent Steve-O from jackass...
I read that he lives in Portland. He probably smells of Patchouli and self righteousness like the rest of the hippies around there.
I couldn't smell any patchoulli, but I think it was just drowned out by the reek of his dismal musical tastes.
He apparently can play a mean guitar, though. Told me he'd been practicing for 11 years, now. He even offered to play me Row, Row Your Boat, though I suspect he was fronting.
I can only imagine what happens when he watches a Quentin Tarantino movie.
Well, it's best if you prepare for that as if you going to be in the front row of a Gallagher show.
True story.
Figures.
Did you ever not feel bad for him? I mean, the poor kid really has nothing to look forward to from here except a long spiral into the depths of alcoholism and eventual homelessness. Besides, they haven't even created a surgery for race dysphoria yet. I can't even imagine what that kind of hopelessness must be like.
Hanging around with Cel must be like tutoring an orphan child with no legs and one of his hands is a stump, except sadder, because at least that child is warm and bright and will make it farther with that one hand than Cel ever will.
Well, he doesn't snitch on any of his homies.
Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
Face it, this is a guy who hates nerds and spends fuckloads of time on a gaming comic forum. Dude couldn't be any more desperate for human contact if he was on a desert island
I bet he was listening to At The Drive-In and painting his nails black while he was doing it, too.
By "homies" I meant people he thought might be black.
Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
*whip* "My name is not Tieg!" *whip* "My name is KUNTA KINTE!" *whip*
Next you'll say he's an albino assassin for an ultraconservative religious order.
(1) Yes, I have snitched here on PA, but it was on myself in a post where I was telling Tube off, because I was worried he might not see the offending rant when I posted it immediately after his warning that if I posted again he'd ban me.
(2) I can hold my liquor just fine, sometimes even in both hands at once. (Never mind the video evidence hidden away in dark corners of the internet of me drooling on myself which might illustrate the contrary.)
(3) It's not my fault you're all philistines with terrible taste. I can only help those who want to help themselves, and for the rest of you, enjoy the bad classic rock and Top 40 drivel, vapid popcorn films, and bad sci-fi/fantasy books you all seem so determined to sheepfully consume.
(4) It's not my fault that I have a backbone, am comfortable in my masculinity, and enjoy pro sports. I'm sorry you all were picked last and made fun of by the cheerleaders while they fucked the guy who put you in trash cans, but some of us are comfortable moving in the outside world, and choose to enjoy a little athletic competition while we do it.
(5) Say what you want about English majors, at least I'm not a wannabe shitty cartoonist and have realistic estimations of just what my writing is. I'm also unique in my ability to enjoy young Poldy's extravagant efforts, and I'm sorry you're all so obsessed with attaining the fifth-grade level of readability maintained by most major newspapers to be able to see it for yourselves.
In short -- fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, fuck you, and especially fuck you. I'm a little disappointed that I wasn't able to contribute to this thread ribbing myself, because at least then there would have been some funny posts in here.
It's like he thinks he's one of us, talking to someone with bad taste.
Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
You're doing it all wrong.
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