The other thing here is that it is okay to be annoyed! I am not saying be a cold emotional robot
but don't like, write a letter to children's parents suggesting that they let their shithole kid finish a game they clearly over committed to
because in that case, you are the one with the problem
"My time is more valuable than the established authority of a stranger's household" is, perhaps, a shittier message than "kids, these other people matter less than your own family"
Like I understand. It sucks when someone has to drop from a game for any reason. But it doesn't matter. It matters every bit as much as any other pick up game which is not at all. If my buddy who's super good at history has to drop out of pub trivia cause he forgot he's taking the kids for ice cream oh freaking well.
Okay an anonymous tipster has contacted me and pointed out a flaw in my logic. I like to think I'm a reasonable person and can admit when I'm wrong.
Winning at pub trivia gets you free beer. Winning a pug of LoL does not.
So I will admit that the pub trivia game is more important.
I have no problem with writing a letter explaining to parents the nature of the game which can make their own parenting decisions better informed. That information could lead to a simple "Oh you're playing LoL - well you can just take out the garbage once you're done".
Telling people what to do with that information is goosery of the highest order. Every family, and every situation, is different.
In a shocking twist that surprised nobody, telling parents how to raise their kids didn't go over very well. This discussion has made me curious about the correct thing to do, though. Maybe it would be helpful to think of this in a more general context (to get away from the "your game time doesn't matter, and if it does, why are you in a pug" line of discussion). Kids sometimes bug other people.
If your kid is bugging someone, and it seems like you (the parent) is unaware of the situation, how would you like the person being bugged to react, ideally? Just ignore it? Tell you about the situation? Tell your kid off themselves? None of the above, my child is an angel, if he is bugging you then you must be some kind of silly goose, be gone silly goose?
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CambiataCommander ShepardThe likes of which even GAWD has never seenRegistered Userregular
In a shocking twist that surprised nobody, telling parents how to raise their kids didn't go over very well. This discussion has made me curious about the correct thing to do, though. Maybe it would be helpful to think of this in a more general context (to get away from the "your game time doesn't matter, and if it does, why are you in a pug" line of discussion). Kids sometimes bug other people.
If your kid is bugging someone, and it seems like you (the parent) is unaware of the situation, how would you like the person being bugged to react, ideally? Just ignore it? Tell you about the situation? Tell your kid off themselves? None of the above, my child is an angel, if he is bugging you then you must be some kind of silly goose, be gone silly goose?
Well I thought this lady handled "what do you tell the parents" pretty well. Granted she had written proof, and she knew the kid's Facebook because he used his Facebook to harass her like an idiot:
In a shocking twist that surprised nobody, telling parents how to raise their kids didn't go over very well. This discussion has made me curious about the correct thing to do, though. Maybe it would be helpful to think of this in a more general context (to get away from the "your game time doesn't matter, and if it does, why are you in a pug" line of discussion). Kids sometimes bug other people.
If your kid is bugging someone, and it seems like you (the parent) is unaware of the situation, how would you like the person being bugged to react, ideally? Just ignore it? Tell you about the situation? Tell your kid off themselves? None of the above, my child is an angel, if he is bugging you then you must be some kind of silly goose, be gone silly goose?
If that open letter had just been trying to educate parents who are ignorant to how the game works and explained how a DC effects all the other players, and then stopped right there and just asked parents to consider that when they choose how they want to handle the situation, it probably would have been very helpful. But as soon as it started telling me how I should handle the situation, it lost all credibility.
If my children are bothering you, reaching out to me is awesome, especially if you can demonstrate it with evidence. I've done so myself on occasion, when I had the opportunity. I also have no issue with adults telling my kids to settle down, as long as they do so in an adult way. "Shut up, kid" or various permutations of "I'ma tell on you" is not how adults handle things with children, and if you're not confident in your ability to effectively be an adult online, you should probably not try.
Recognize that every 14yr old silly goose claims to be his dad from time to time, when things get hairy. The adult thing to do is to record all-chat, find their profile on the forums, and if you can turn up the facebook or the parents, please feel free to reach out in a respectful and adult manner.
Of course, if you started the whole episode by complaining about "fucking kiddies up past their bedtime, goddamn top lane is 12 yrs old and feeding yi wtf gg" then you are not the adult we need. You are part of the problem.
Look at it like this: If everyone who should be an adult comported themselves like an adult, the only people flinging insults and raging in LoL would be children. As an adult, you should not let a 14yr old kid get under your skin in an internet video game. It is ridiculous: you are a fucking adult.
However, the 14yr old doesn't have the emotional resilience to avoid letting a fucking adult get under his skin, so it's no shock when they respond in kind. If you are the adult, there is no "well he started it". It doesn't start, between adults and children, unless the adult fails fundamentally to demonstrate the maturity they should possess.
In short, if you're in a fight in LoL, it's entirely your fault, and no one else's, ever. The only people trying to start shit are children, or people acting like children, and as an adult you shouldn't dignify either one with a response in kind.
Going back through as I listen to podcasts, I was intrigued to discover an update to the original open letter, in which the childless whiner is "disappointed that [PA] got it wrong, but oh well. Not everyone gets a PA comic!" You can't retcon reality, man.
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but don't like, write a letter to children's parents suggesting that they let their shithole kid finish a game they clearly over committed to
because in that case, you are the one with the problem
"My time is more valuable than the established authority of a stranger's household" is, perhaps, a shittier message than "kids, these other people matter less than your own family"
I'M RIGHT HERE QUID
8-)
a bug in your ear
Telling people what to do with that information is goosery of the highest order. Every family, and every situation, is different.
Steam: adamjnet
If your kid is bugging someone, and it seems like you (the parent) is unaware of the situation, how would you like the person being bugged to react, ideally? Just ignore it? Tell you about the situation? Tell your kid off themselves? None of the above, my child is an angel, if he is bugging you then you must be some kind of silly goose, be gone silly goose?
Well I thought this lady handled "what do you tell the parents" pretty well. Granted she had written proof, and she knew the kid's Facebook because he used his Facebook to harass her like an idiot:
(also this is a reminder that there are way worse things happening to people in gaming than "someone DC'd on my game.")
If that open letter had just been trying to educate parents who are ignorant to how the game works and explained how a DC effects all the other players, and then stopped right there and just asked parents to consider that when they choose how they want to handle the situation, it probably would have been very helpful. But as soon as it started telling me how I should handle the situation, it lost all credibility.
Recognize that every 14yr old silly goose claims to be his dad from time to time, when things get hairy. The adult thing to do is to record all-chat, find their profile on the forums, and if you can turn up the facebook or the parents, please feel free to reach out in a respectful and adult manner.
Of course, if you started the whole episode by complaining about "fucking kiddies up past their bedtime, goddamn top lane is 12 yrs old and feeding yi wtf gg" then you are not the adult we need. You are part of the problem.
However, the 14yr old doesn't have the emotional resilience to avoid letting a fucking adult get under his skin, so it's no shock when they respond in kind. If you are the adult, there is no "well he started it". It doesn't start, between adults and children, unless the adult fails fundamentally to demonstrate the maturity they should possess.
In short, if you're in a fight in LoL, it's entirely your fault, and no one else's, ever. The only people trying to start shit are children, or people acting like children, and as an adult you shouldn't dignify either one with a response in kind.