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Weird Ass Voice Mails You Can't Explain

13

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    AlethiometerAlethiometer Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    That had occurred to me but it's always the same half of a phone number, and I thought numbers stations were essentially random strings?

    The only thing I can guess is that it's some telemarketing computer, broken and forgotten in a server cluster somewhere, and it's just dialing down a big list. Which would explain why answering it gets me apparently unwitting office peons.

    Alethiometer on
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    ObbiObbi Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited October 2007
    About 6 months ago I was readin' through some job offers for shitty undergrads like myself and one was there for Data Entry Clerk

    so I dailed the number and it was just this weird sounding guy that just said 'dail <new number>'

    so I do that, then it answers again with a different weird sound guy with "now dail <another new number>"

    so this goes on I think one more time, then on like the fourth number it just answers to this answering machine of this guy yelling.

    I had absolutely no fucking clue what it was about. I pretty much decided not to bring it up or act like that ever happened.

    Obbi on
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    FaricazyFaricazy Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    people who i can only assume are illegal immigrants are calling my cell and asking for raymond in both english and spanish

    two years

    god stop calling me you fucks

    Faricazy on
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    DaricDaric Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Donde esta Raymond?

    Daric on
    cc61181c22f23454a304a4f1f0867845044.gif
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    Dis_quietDis_quiet Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    My company started letting certain employees work from home a while back. I was one of the first people to take the opportunity. Part of the set up was that my company paid to have a business line installed in my home office. So the guy from the phone company had just finished installing my phone, and had just left the house, when my work phone rang. My brand new line, whose number I hadn't given to anyone yet. I just stared at the ringing phone like O_o for a few seconds, then answered. It was a fucking bill collector.

    Turns out my "new" number was actually the old number from some fucking deadbeat who obviously had racked up a shitton of debt, then changed her phone number to get away from the bill collectors. To this day, a year and a half later, I still get telemarketers, bill collectors, and random people calling my work number for this lady.

    The best part are the people who leave messages. My outgoing voicemail is, "Hi, you've reached [Dis_quiet] at [big mega health insurance company]. I'm either out of the office or on another line..." Yet people are fucking constantly leaving messages for the lady who hasn't had this number for over a year. How can you hear a guy's voice stating the name of a fucking business on the outgoing message, and still think it's a woman's personal number?

    tl,dr - My "new" work phone number is actually the old phone number of a fucking deadbeat, and I get a shitton of calls for the bitch.

    Dis_quiet on
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    FaricazyFaricazy Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    RAYMOND WAS SHOT BY BORDER PATROL OKAY

    Faricazy on
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    DJ EebsDJ Eebs Moderator, Administrator admin
    edited October 2007
    I've received:

    "Just callin' to let you know that sweet corn's in. We got about two ears. Thought you'd like to know"

    "Hey, just callin' to let you know that Jim Bob (I forgot his real name) had a heart attack. Thought you'd like to know"

    The second prompted me to ask my parents if we knew a Jim Bob.

    DJ Eebs on
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    FaricazyFaricazy Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    I love the people who argue about whose phone they're calling. I've gotten calls at home from old people asking where their ambulette is. And after i tell them they've got a home number, they continue on with "OH BUT THIS IS THE NUMBER I WAS GIVEN."

    okay?

    Faricazy on
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    CJTheranCJTheran Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Apparently my cell number is/was very similar to some doctor's number, as I constantly had people leaving voice mails regarding strange rashes and things of that ilk.

    CJTheran on
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    RubberACRubberAC Sidney BC!Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    I love it when someone dials the wrong number, so they do the whole 'Haha, oh i'm so sorry. No problem'
    then they do it again, but don't want to look stupid
    so they just hang up when they hear your voice

    RubberAC on
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    The PrimeThe Prime regular
    edited October 2007
    I just got out of work, checked my voicemail, and the message was a friend of mine singing Ass Charles, and then telling me that he loves me.

    Best voicemail in the history of my telephone.

    The Prime on
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    TobyToby Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Hello?

    (terrible static)

    Hello?

    This isn't Toby, is it?

    Yes, this is Toby.

    No it isn't.

    He hung up. I don't know what I could have done to convince him.

    Toby on
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    ArrathArrath Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    My home phone number is one number off of the local propane company so I get misdialed calls for them all the time. The company recently started giving me a corperate discount becuase I answer so many calls for them. Whatever the reasoning, I don't care, my stove is propane so its a nice and frequently used discount.

    The previous owner of my cell phone's number fled the country apparently, even after 2 years I constantly get calls from bill collectors for this guy. The best part is when they don't believe I'm not the deadbeat and start to threaten me.

    Arrath on
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    the wookthe wook Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Faricazy wrote: »
    RAYMOND WAS SHOT BY BORDER PATROL OKAY

    Raymond es muerto

    practice these words

    the wook on
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    Dis_quietDis_quiet Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Arrath wrote: »
    The previous owner of my cell phone's number fled the country apparently, even after 2 years I constantly get calls from bill collectors for this guy. The best part is when they don't believe I'm not the deadbeat and start to threaten me.

    Yeah, I've gotten that a few times, too. They think I'm the deadbeat lady's boyfriend or something, and start yammering on about how she's going to face legal action soon if she doesn't return their calls. When it's happened, I've just said, "Listen, this isn't her number anymore. I don't know what I can do to convince you of that, but please stop calling me."

    Next time, when they threaten legal action against this deadbeat lady, I think I'm just going to start egging them on. "OH YEAH? BRING IT, BITCHES! I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOU OR YOUR PUSSY LAWYERS!" Click. Maybe that will get them to quit fucking calling me and actually sue the bitch.

    Dis_quiet on
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    Wise_aWise_a Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Apparently my cell phone shares an old number with a company called "Coffee Associates".

    Needless to say, people have called me asking for coffee.

    Wise_a on
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    KhavallKhavall British ColumbiaRegistered User regular
    edited October 2007
    I got an excellent text message last Christmas, and another one last New Years.

    One was:
    Merry Christmas, my darling! Hope all is going well!
    And the other was
    Happy new years, love!



    No clue who that was.

    Khavall on
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    FaricazyFaricazy Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    But isn't it awesome when people argue with you when you tell them that they haven't called a doctor's office?

    "Well if you're not the ambulette how am i supposed to know when i get picked up?"

    WHAT THE FUCK KINDA OF QUESTION IS THAT LADY

    Faricazy on
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    DogDog Registered User, Administrator, Vanilla Staff admin
    edited October 2007
    The best was a call when I was a kid where some guy threatened to "make me pay" because I refused to put my mom on the phone when she said she didn't want to pick it up.


    was probably the IRS

    Unknown User on
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    autono-wally, erotibot300autono-wally, erotibot300 love machine Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    well maybe he wanted to pay your mom oh ho ho

    autono-wally, erotibot300 on
    kFJhXwE.jpgkFJhXwE.jpg
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    jwalkjwalk Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Also someone needs to tell telemarketers to stop using the line "may I speak to the person in charge of.... (your phone service, or who orders your office supplies, etc..)"

    I mean it's pretty fucking obivous what they are at that point. I've been answering with "no you may not" *click*

    jwalk on
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    TonkkaTonkka Some one in the club tonight Has stolen my ideas.Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    I've had the same cell phone/number for about 8 years now. Every once in a while I get someone calling for Gladys. Usually an older person who becomes extremely confused when I answer, and the voicemails that get left are especially intriguing since my voicemail message is a bit from a Man or Asrtoman? album, and there's always a moment of utter confusion.

    But the best was a Sunday night/Monday morning series of calls from some guy in Alaska starting at around 11pm. He was calling for Gladys and I informed him that this was my cell phone number, he apologized, hung up, and called back 5 minutes later. When I answered the second time he became even more apologetic and promised that he wouldn't make the mistake again.

    However, 2 hours later, his girlfriend (or someone) called me and started going on about how he really needed to get ahold of his grandmother, and when I told her that I was sorry but this isn't her phone number and I couldn't help her, she got really angry and hung up on me. I thought it was over.

    20 minutes later (it's creeping up on 2 am at this point) she calls back thrying to apologize for getting so upset and asks me if I can look up the number in the phone book for them.

    I told her to never call me again and dial information instead.

    Tonkka on
    Steam: evilumpire Battle.net: T0NKKA#1588 PS4: T_0_N_N_K_A Twitter Art blog/Portfolio! Twitch?! HEY SATAN Shirts and such
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    ArrathArrath Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Dis_quiet wrote: »
    Arrath wrote: »
    The previous owner of my cell phone's number fled the country apparently, even after 2 years I constantly get calls from bill collectors for this guy. The best part is when they don't believe I'm not the deadbeat and start to threaten me.

    Yeah, I've gotten that a few times, too. They think I'm the deadbeat lady's boyfriend or something, and start yammering on about how she's going to face legal action soon if she doesn't return their calls. When it's happened, I've just said, "Listen, this isn't her number anymore. I don't know what I can do to convince you of that, but please stop calling me."

    Next time, when they threaten legal action against this deadbeat lady, I think I'm just going to start egging them on. "OH YEAH? BRING IT, BITCHES! I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOU OR YOUR PUSSY LAWYERS!" Click. Maybe that will get them to quit fucking calling me and actually sue the bitch.

    I've started telling them just to fuck off and do their worst. Since I owe them nothing...thats not a whole lot.

    Arrath on
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    KusuguttaiKusuguttai __BANNED USERS regular
    edited October 2007
    one time i got a call

    it was either a really effeminate man or a husky sounding lady, breathing deeply

    "hey you"
    "h-hello?"
    "you have a pretty voice...yeah...."
    "what the fuck?"
    "oh yeah"
    *click*

    Kusuguttai on
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    MonkeybombMonkeybomb Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    One time I got prank phone sexed by some chick at like 6 am when I was away on business in D.C.

    I think she dialed the wrong number or something.

    Monkeybomb on
    Xbox Live Gamertag: Triplemonkeybom
    monkeysig-1.jpg
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    FaricazyFaricazy Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Kusuguttai wrote: »
    one time i got a call

    it was either a really effeminate man or a husky sounding lady, breathing deeply

    "hey you"
    "h-hello?"
    "you have a pretty voice...yeah...."
    "what the fuck?"
    "oh yeah"
    *click*
    this is why you shouldn't give out your phone number to SE

    Faricazy on
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    NogsNogs Crap, crap, mega crap. Crap, crap, mega crap.Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Kusuguttai wrote: »
    one time i got a call

    it was either a really effeminate man or a husky sounding lady, breathing deeply

    "hey you"
    "h-hello?"
    "you have a pretty voice...yeah...."
    "what the fuck?"
    "oh yeah"
    *click*

    Kusu, have you ever watched Happiness?

    Nogs on
    rotate.jpg
    PARKER, YOU'RE FIRED! <-- My comic book podcast! Satan look here!
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    RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited October 2007
    Nogs wrote: »
    Kusuguttai wrote: »
    one time i got a call

    it was either a really effeminate man or a husky sounding lady, breathing deeply

    "hey you"
    "h-hello?"
    "you have a pretty voice...yeah...."
    "what the fuck?"
    "oh yeah"
    *click*

    Kusu, have you ever watched Happiness?

    I cannot express how happy you just made me, Nogs.

    Rankenphile on
    8406wWN.png
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    BijlBijl Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    I once got 2 texts containing a huge emotional rant full of spelling mistakes from some woman who thought she was texting her ex husband. Apparantly her ex husband hadhad her child with him for a longer time then was allowed and he needed to stop saying things about her behind her back.

    I replied "I lost him"

    Bijl on
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    ReTardisReTardis Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    On an old number, I used to get calls from time to time from what sounded like the wheeziest old man ever. I could never understand a damn thing he was trying to say; it was all

    "Hello?"

    "Huuuuhhhahhheehhhhhaa"

    "Um, I think you have the wrong number."

    "Hhhhhehhhahhhhhuuuhhha"

    Dude never seemed to get that I was not who he was looking for, and if I was, I couldn't understand a damn thing he was trying to tell me.

    On account of the whole "just wheezing and not using real words" thing.

    ReTardis on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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    NogsNogs Crap, crap, mega crap. Crap, crap, mega crap.Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Nogs wrote: »
    Kusuguttai wrote: »
    one time i got a call

    it was either a really effeminate man or a husky sounding lady, breathing deeply

    "hey you"
    "h-hello?"
    "you have a pretty voice...yeah...."
    "what the fuck?"
    "oh yeah"
    *click*

    Kusu, have you ever watched Happiness?

    I cannot express how happy you just made me, Nogs.

    "Hello?"

    "I know who you are and you are nothing. You think you are fucking something, but you are fucking nothing. You are empty. You are a zero. You are a black hole, and I'm gonna fuck you so bad you'll be coming out of your ears."

    *click*

    Nogs on
    rotate.jpg
    PARKER, YOU'RE FIRED! <-- My comic book podcast! Satan look here!
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    coldbird.coldbird. Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Bijl wrote: »
    I once got 2 texts containing a huge emotional rant full of spelling mistakes from some woman who thought she was texting her ex husband. Apparantly her ex husband hadhad her child with him for a longer time then was allowed and he needed to stop saying things about her behind her back.

    I replied "I lost him"

    did you really

    because

    if you did you'd be a god

    coldbird. on
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    BijlBijl Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    coldbird. wrote: »
    Bijl wrote: »
    I once got 2 texts containing a huge emotional rant full of spelling mistakes from some woman who thought she was texting her ex husband. Apparantly her ex husband hadhad her child with him for a longer time then was allowed and he needed to stop saying things about her behind her back.

    I replied "I lost him"

    did you really

    because

    if you did you'd be a god
    I did

    Bijl on
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    Der Waffle MousDer Waffle Mous Blame this on the misfortune of your birth. New Yark, New Yark.Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Monkeybomb wrote: »
    One time I got prank phone sexed by some chick at like 6 am when I was away on business in D.C.

    I think she dialed the wrong number or something.
    Exactly how does prank phone-sex work?

    Is it like all dirty talking and then all of a sudden she's putting on her cloak and wizard hat?

    Der Waffle Mous on
    Steam PSN: DerWaffleMous Origin: DerWaffleMous Bnet: DerWaffle#1682
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    QuirkQuirk Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    I once got a call (when i was about 14) from someone trying to order Chinese food. I'm not usually the wittiest guy, but i managed to not skip a beat, take their order and tell them It'd be there in 30-45 minutes.


    I'm guessing the number they were actually trying for got an angry call asking where their food was at some point, cos I sure didn't.

    I also used to get what i assume were prank calls of people singing/playing music down the phone, which I'd just let play cos let's face it, it's their money.

    Quirk on
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    Volucrisus AedriusVolucrisus Aedrius Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Sometimes I get calls from random area codes. Then I try to call them back and realize, hey, that isn't very smart because I'll get charged for this shit.

    And at PAX I got some weird spam text advertising something stupid.

    Volucrisus Aedrius on
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    Moe FwackyMoe Fwacky Right Here, Right Now Drives a BuickModerator mod
    edited October 2007
    I once got a wrong number asking for some guy i didn't know while I was drinking. So, my natural response was that he got drunk and passed out. Well apparently, whoever this guy was, he wasn't supposed to drink due to some medical condition. So this guy on the phone starts getting all worried and asks if he should call poison control, to which I respond, "Whatever makes you feel good about yourself." He responds, "Okay, I'm going to call poison control and I'll call you right back." then a short pause followed by, "Does anybody there need any reeeefer?" (just like that with the extended e's). I say no and he hangs up. I didn't hear back from him, so I can only hope he called poison control and then called the right number, resulting in hilarious embarrasment.

    Moe Fwacky on
    E6LkoFK.png

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    PhonehandPhonehand Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    One time this guy from Texas called me and the message was all 'I'm so sorry Erin died' and then something about her daughters. He got my name right but the only Erin I know is my mom and she is not dead.

    Phonehand on
    pmdunk.jpg
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    AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    is...she...undead?

    Abracadaniel on
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    OkamiOkami On the internet nobody knows you're a dog. Nobody. Land of Ports, OreganoRegistered User regular
    edited October 2007
    The Prime wrote: »
    Do any of you guys know people whose voicemail message is something along the lines of, "Hello? Oh hey how's it going? What? I can't hear you, my reception is shitt-BEEP"

    So the whole time you're playing along, having a conversation with this person. And when you hear the beep you are sorely disappointed.

    I hate those pricks.

    I call one of these people at least once a day every time I go to work.

    It's terribly annoying

    Okami on
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