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A [PHALLA] of Ice and Fire - Littlefinger is King

PlutoniumPlutonium Registered User regular
edited October 2007 in Critical Failures
rhaegarvsrobertdr6.jpg

[FONT=”Dauphin”]Prologue[/font]

ROBERT

At least that bitch Cersei can’t take away the fun of hunting.

She had seemed to take away everything else, of course, driving him away from her, into the comforts of fine foods and even finer women. Of course, when compared to Cersei, his wife of fifteen years, any maiden was preferable, as the many bastards he had sired clearly shows, at least, the ones that escaped Cersei’s lethal wrath. Let the Others take her, he swore silently to himself, grabbing another skin of wine from a nearby servant, and drowing the draught in three mighty gulps. Anything to escape the thought of being married to to that wench. Why, he would rather fuck a silent sister or even that ugly daughter of Selwyn Tarth he so often like to snicker about behind his back, rather than spend a single moment with his Lannister bride.

“Bring me another skin of the same, and my bow!” he muttered, spotting a boar in the distance, a likely target that would make a good meal for tonight’s feast. He never ate or hunted for venison. It reminded him too much of his own mortality.

A different servant, this time clothed in Lannister crimson, red as a funeral pyre and bearing the lion that Robert had grown to hate over his many years of marriage, rode up to his side, handing over the his hunting crossbow, already wound and nocked with a bolt, along with the leather phial of liquor he requested.

Taking a mighty swig from the flask, and dismounting, his thoughts nevertheless drifted to his least favorite subject, how the hell he ended up married to such a bitch. At least he was content in the knowledge that she was never his first choice. No, that would have been Lyanna, Ned’s sister. At least, until that Targaryen bastard Rhaegar kidnapped her away from him. Even the thought of Rhaegar, though dead at Robert’s hand long ago, still managed to infuriate him, turning the sweet wine in his mouth bitter with his rage.

“Rhaegar you bastard!” Robert cried out, raising his mighty war hammer above his head. His rage seemed to multiply his strength, for though he had grown portly and weak in recent years, he was amazed at how light his weapon seemed, almost as if he was in the prime of his youth again.

Alerted by his cry, Rhaegar charged at Robert, armored in his black plate, bedazzled with rubies, which seemed to sparkle in the glimpses of the sun through the fading trees.

Yes, thought Robert, this was exactly how it happened, sprinting to meet Rhaegar on the ford of the Trident, his greaves caked with the blood of his fallen enemies.

The two warriors came together, yet before they met, Robert knew what would happen, for he had seen it many times in his dreams. His great hammer would connect with Rhaegar, throwing him to the ground, in a glorious crescendo of shattering steel, snapping ribs, and the chime of fracturing rubies, floating for a second in the air in a beautiful bloodshot mist.

“Lyanna!” Robert screamed out, just before the two met, just as it was the last time, though this time, there came no identical battle cry from his opponent, as Rhaegar had yelled as well at the Trident, in a cruel imitation meant to mock Robert’s passion . The expected pinnacle of sound he should have heard upon seeing his war hammer strike his foe was just as absent.

In fact, what he did hear sounded just like the splintering of wood, accompanied by a the weak snapping of a once-taut cord, and the angry snort of an enraged beast.

The flowers below Robert were red. Ruby red, and growing more and more scarlet the longer he looked at them.

No, no, This wasn’t right. This wasn’t right at all.

Lyanna loved blue flowers.

Plutonium on
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Posts

  • PlutoniumPlutonium Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    The Players:

    Freeagent - Kevan Lannister
    Bliss101 - Robb Stark
    Zot - Joffrey Baratheon
    Crono729 - Greatjon Umber
    Cj Iwakura - Thoros of Myr
    Qorzm - Cersei Lannister
    Frosteey - Howland Reed
    Tehspectre - Jaime Lannister
    cheez - Qyburn the Necromancer
    Osvik - Melisandre
    cObbi - Sandor Clegane
    DevoutlyApathetic - Osmund Kettleblack
    PRËTËNTIÖüS - Wyman Manderly
    Zzulu - Podric Payne
    Mr. Embarkation - Mace Tyrell
    NATIK - Rickard Karstark
    Oatway - Oberyn Martell
    Shorn Scrotum Man - Stannis Baratheon
    FunkyWaltDogg - Gregor Clegane
    Jester313 - Catelyn Stark
    Rend - Davos Seaworth
    Niceguy Myeye - Tyrion Lannister
    Locus - Arya Stark
    Saburbia - Renly Baratheon
    Squashua - Tywin Lannister
    Jdarksun - Brienne Tarth
    Grundlterror - Bronn of the Blackwater
    durax - Daenerys Targaryen
    mrpaku - Beric Dondarrion
    Vic - Bryndon Tully
    Precisionk - Sansa Stark

    Skulk - Bran Stark
    Raakam - Varys
    Lucien - Ned Stark
    Robothero - Gendry Waters
    Nion - Grand Maester Pycelle
    delroland - King Littlefinger
    Romantic Undead - Loras Tyrell
    McKid - Randyll Tarly
    Green - Barristan Selmy


    Narrations


    Chapter 1

    Chapter 2
    Chapter 3

    Chapter 4
    Chapter 5
    Chapter 6
    Chapter 7: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

    The Rules:

    The First night will end Monday at 9:00 PST, which is also 12:00 EST, and every subsequent night will be end at the same time. All actions, whether in private or public, must be in by this time. Actions timestamped 12:01 EST will not be accepted.

    All actions will be PM'd to Plutonium. There are no public actions besides votes and the execution.

    Please do not share Role Pm's. Please give me the information for and access to all private message boards you are using to communicate.

    Every Night, players will !Vote for a player to be put to death This kill can not be blocked.

    Every Night, players will !Vote for a Regent. The runner-up will become The Hand

    Starting on night two, The Regent will decide to !Execute a player In the event of the death of the Regent, the Hand will carry out the Regent's orders. This kill can only be blocked by the death of both the Regent and the Hand, or the prior death of the player. The Hand will not kill himself. *

    Periodically throughout the game, Duels may occur. In the event of a duel, players will !Vote for their favorite The winner of the vote will live, and the loser will die. If one of the duelists is killed by a method besides the vote or the execution, the survivor will win by default.

    The order of kills will be:

    Guarding > Individual Kills > Execution/Duels > Vote

    Finally, the last team alive wins.

    Questions for clarifications should be made Like This
    Private questions should be PM'd to me.







    *The preceding stolen from CJ Iwakura. No, you don't get anything special becuase of it.

    Plutonium on
  • QorzmQorzm Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Finally Robert gets his own narration/chapter dedicated to himself.

    Much respect Plu

    Qorzm on
  • QorzmQorzm Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Also, while I'm here, vote Qorzm for Regent!

    I promise to listen to the people of Westeros and do their bidding as best as I can.

    Qorzm on
  • PlutoniumPlutonium Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    I think that I did a pretty good job with that prologue. I hope fans of the series will like the narrations coming up.

    Plutonium on
  • Romantic UndeadRomantic Undead Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    And so it begins... It is as though the field of battle trembles in anticipation...

    Much like my...
    hands, you sick fuck

    Romantic Undead on
    3DS FC: 1547-5210-6531
  • Romantic UndeadRomantic Undead Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Qorzm wrote: »
    Also, while I'm here, vote Qorzm to become The Hand!

    I promise to listen to the people of Westeros and do their bidding as best as I can.

    My friend, we vote for a reagent, not The Hand. Are you voting for yourself for second place?

    Romantic Undead on
    3DS FC: 1547-5210-6531
  • RendRend Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    !Vote Qorzm for Regent!

    May Rend's Rowdy Rhombus live on.

    Rend on
  • QorzmQorzm Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Qorzm wrote: »
    Also, while I'm here, vote Qorzm to become The Hand!

    I promise to listen to the people of Westeros and do their bidding as best as I can.

    My friend, we vote for a reagent, not The Hand. Are you voting for yourself for second place?

    I misunderstood at first! Vote for me for the Regent please.

    Qorzm on
  • Romantic UndeadRomantic Undead Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    As a show of solidarity for a now forgotten alliance, I shall support you in your quest, sir Qorzm

    Romantic Undead on
    3DS FC: 1547-5210-6531
  • QorzmQorzm Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Glad I got that cleared up. Because you know what they say, "The king eats, and the Hand takes the shit."

    Qorzm on
  • RendRend Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    I volunteer! :D

    Rend on
  • DogDog Registered User, Administrator, Vanilla Staff admin
    edited October 2007
    !vote Xevo


    awww :(

    Unknown User on
  • RendRend Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    14 posts in and still no reveal? Come on, people, lets take this up a notch.

    Rend on
  • Romantic UndeadRomantic Undead Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Are you volunteering Rend?

    Romantic Undead on
    3DS FC: 1547-5210-6531
  • RendRend Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Day one reveal:

    I am FIRE.


    I burn! Lolz!

    Rend on
  • Niceguy MyeyeNiceguy Myeye Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Vote Grundlterror

    That's for getting ressed after me grudge killing you.

    DevoutlyApathetic

    I'm not sure if he's playing, but he'd make a good regent.

    Niceguy Myeye on
  • FunkyWaltDoggFunkyWaltDogg Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    What need have we for a regent when the rightful God-Emperor stands among us?

    For those poor souls who know him not, I speak of course of His Grace precisionk.

    FunkyWaltDogg on
    Burnage wrote:
    FWD is very good at this game.
  • ObbiObbi Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited October 2007
    well then !vote Rend the Old Flame

    Obbi on
  • RendRend Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Aww... Obbi, I thought... I thought that you loved me...!

    Rend on
  • mrpakumrpaku Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Vote Grundlterror

    That's for getting ressed after me grudge killing you.

    DevoutlyApathetic

    I'm not sure if he's playing, but he'd make a good regent.

    how can you not know he's playing

    there's a list of players like, right at the top of this screen

    mrpaku on
  • Niceguy MyeyeNiceguy Myeye Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    I don't pay attention to that until day 4!

    Niceguy Myeye on
  • mrpakumrpaku Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    oh okay, gotcha

    mrpaku on
  • Romantic UndeadRomantic Undead Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Clarification request: Are there retractions in this game? (I'm assuming we're using the now-standard "newest vote overwrites old vote" but I didn't see it mentionned in the OP so I don't want to start throwing votes around and screw myself)

    Romantic Undead on
    3DS FC: 1547-5210-6531
  • PlutoniumPlutonium Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Clarification request: Are there retractions in this game? (I'm assuming we're using the now-standard "newest vote overwrites old vote" but I didn't see it mentionned in the OP so I don't want to start throwing votes around and screw myself)

    Yes, Retractions are fine, as long as they are before 9:00 PST.

    Plutonium on
  • Romantic UndeadRomantic Undead Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Plutonium wrote: »
    Clarification request: Are there retractions in this game? (I'm assuming we're using the now-standard "newest vote overwrites old vote" but I didn't see it mentionned in the OP so I don't want to start throwing votes around and screw myself)

    Yes, Retractions are fine, as long as they are before 9:00 PST.

    Do you want us to retract actively, or are you just going to use the most recent vote?

    Romantic Undead on
    3DS FC: 1547-5210-6531
  • PlutoniumPlutonium Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    I would prefer active retractions, but if you're pressed for time or whatever, I don't really care that much, and I'll use the most recent.

    Plutonium on
  • ObbiObbi Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited October 2007
    !Mr. Embarkation

    can't go wrong with a guy like that

    ps: !abstain I'm just messin wichoo Rend

    Obbi on
  • RendRend Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    aww... i wub joo too obbi ^_^

    Rend on
  • precisionkprecisionk Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    I AM PROBABLY THE BEST CHOICE FOR REGENT.


    FOR I AM THE GOD-EMPEROR PRECISIONK, MASTER OF DOMAINS AND HEIR TO GREYSKULL.


    !vote precisionk

    precisionk on
  • SkulkSkulk Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    This should be fun.

    I'll throw my votes out there later.

    Skulk on
  • Cold Salmon and HatredCold Salmon and Hatred __BANNED USERS regular
    edited October 2007
    !Vote Zot because he actually has time to phalla for once.

    Cold Salmon and Hatred on
  • ZzuluZzulu Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    oh dear

    Zzulu on
    t5qfc9.jpg
  • QorzmQorzm Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Don't worry everyone, we have 3 days and 5 hours to decide who our Regent will be.

    Qorzm on
  • Crono729Crono729 Registered User
    edited October 2007
    !Vote Qorzm

    You know... becoming the reagent might kill you just as easily as the mob vote. Kings AND reagents have an alarming tendency to die horribly in this particular universe.

    Crono729 on
  • OsvikOsvik Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    I can get behind a vote for our God Emperor, its as good as any for the first round.

    !Precisionk

    Osvik on
  • LocusLocus Trust Me AlbanyRegistered User regular
    edited October 2007
    !vote precisionk because why the fuck not

    !vote Niceguy Myeye
    grudge vote because my preferred target is not playing

    Locus on
  • TehSpectreTehSpectre Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    !DevoutlyApathetic doesn't get enough love.

    !Skulk doesn't get any love.

    So how is everyone doin' tonight?

    TehSpectre on
    Sloth_Sig.png
  • OatsOats Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    !vote Niceguy Myeye.

    I knew I was going to die, but come on.

    Oats on
  • mrpakumrpaku Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    i see you still have some of your baggage from the plane

    mrpaku on
  • GreenGreen Stick around. I'm full of bad ideas.Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    !precisionk because I always wanted to get on this bandwagon

    !Bliss 101 because I'm still pissed about that dynamite :x

    Green on
    3DS: 3007 8087 2767 | Nintendo ID: AngryFrog
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