the girl who sits across from me here at work just got engaged to a guy she met speed dating earlier this year.
I would greatly prefer to speed date than go the internet route, but damnit there are so few speed dating options here. There's maybe one a month that I''ve found, through OKcupid, and usually 25 is the very bottom end of the age spectrum, going up to 35 or 40. If I went, I'm sure there'd be very few women on the lower end of the spectrum, and lots of women in their 30s that I'd likely be wasting my time on.
I can't speak much for dating sites, but I can claim severe effectiveness for special-interest community sites. I work at one which has resulted in at least 9 marriages and 3 kids (that I'm aware of), including some successful cross-continential relationships that later resulted in one party or another moving to another country to be with said person and be married....and I'm not aware of a single of one of these failing after the fact. It's kinda nuts, if you think about that.
So in that vein, you might be better off trying to find someone with similar interests through a site like that, or instead of specifically going for a 'dating' site, try out a meetup one - I recently (as in this past weekend) joined meetup.com to look for some people to go hiking/running with since my coworkers don't seem particularly interested in that. Depending on how it goes, I might branch out into some things that I'd not done before but would be interested in doing in an informal manner. Work's nuts right now though (going 6 days a week normally, often late into the evening), so I haven't been able to actually do anything with them yet, but when I do make it out, I'll let you guys know how it goes. I'm not expecting massive returns on this - looking at the groups, it's much more age variant (ranging from late teens all the way into 50s ans 60s), so it's probably best to look elsewhere in terms of actively seeking dating (unless you go for one of the singles ones...there's quite a few of those, including some that appear to be going on a cruise or something early next year), but I honestly think it'd be more successful in terms of meeting people with similar interests.
Gay perspective, there's only one 'gay-oriented' personals website that I really know about, and that's Gaydar. This place is full of cock shots, old men and sex fiends. Oddly enough, I'm still single!
This is a fairly small city and the gay population has, uh, two places to meet. You'd think that would compress all your options in to two handy containers, but the tendency is for the older and/or most obnoxious gays to frequent these places. So now I rely on Myspace and Facebook.
As a person like but not exactly the same as you, I've found that the more I narrow my lens the more terrible chaff there is to sift through. When I was just dating as gay, every gay person I met on the Internet was abhorrent while the very scant handful I just happened to meet in day-to-day life were astounding -- I think it's part rose-colored glasses, though, and part just that the people I met were necessarily much more charismatic and affirmative than the folks you'll usually find trawling the internet like yourself.
My girlfriend and myself of four years met online from a dating site. We've lived together for about 2 1/2 - 3 years of that. Four years isn't long in the grand scheme of things, but these days it sure feels like it is. At this point I basically accept I'll most likely pop the question to her someday, god willing. Just neither of us are in a hurry.
On a side note, both of us are a bit embarrassed by how we met, so when people ask we usually just say we met through a mutual friend. A dating site is sort of like a friend, right?
Edit- Aaaaaaaaaand just noticed this was a necro'd thread... Carry on, nothing to see here >.>
Man I didn't notice this was a necro thread til the third page, and I was like, How is this not locked and banhammers everywhere! This forum has sure come a long way!
Actually kinda cool this got necro'd. Just to see the difference seven or eight years can make.
You ain't kiddin'. Not to mention the fact that there are posts in this thread from now-deceased members of our forum community (@Zonkytonkman). Relics from another time...
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JeanHeartbroken papa bearGatineau, QuébecRegistered Userregular
I met my GF on Plenty of Fish 3 months ago. Couldn't be happier
Our paths would had most likely never crossed if it wasn't for online dating. Hell, it came dangerously close to not happening at all as she was on the verge of giving up on the whole online dating thing when I first messaged her.
"You won't destroy us, You won't destroy our democracy. We are a small but proud nation. No one can bomb us to silence. No one can scare us from being Norway. This evening and tonight, we'll take care of each other. That's what we do best when attacked'' - Jens Stoltenberg
I met my GF on Plenty of Fish 3 months ago. Couldn't be happier
Our paths would had most likely never crossed if it wasn't for online dating. Hell, it came dangerously close to not happening at all as she was on the verge of giving up on the whole online dating thing when I first messaged her.
What was your first message to her? I am curious.
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Mego Thor"I say thee...NAY!"Registered Userregular
I realized this was a necro thread when I saw someone posting about Myspace.
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Gabriel_Pitt(effective against Russian warships)Registered Userregular
As a historical artifact, this thread is pretty intetesting. And yeah, seeing The Cat had me going WTF for a moment.
I didn't know Zonkytonkman had actually died. Ω
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HacksawJ. Duggan Esq.Wrestler at LawRegistered Userregular
I wish The Cat were here, still. I miss that kitty...
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JeanHeartbroken papa bearGatineau, QuébecRegistered Userregular
I met my GF on Plenty of Fish 3 months ago. Couldn't be happier
Our paths would had most likely never crossed if it wasn't for online dating. Hell, it came dangerously close to not happening at all as she was on the verge of giving up on the whole online dating thing when I first messaged her.
What was your first message to her? I am curious.
It was actually as basic as you can get!
Good evening, my name is Jean-Sébastien. Pleased to meet you. What is your name?
She was on the verge of calling it quits because she was fed up of guys who only wanted one thing.
"You won't destroy us, You won't destroy our democracy. We are a small but proud nation. No one can bomb us to silence. No one can scare us from being Norway. This evening and tonight, we'll take care of each other. That's what we do best when attacked'' - Jens Stoltenberg
HacksawJ. Duggan Esq.Wrestler at LawRegistered Userregular
edited February 2015
It's kind of amazing to see the change in perception online dating has undergone since its officialized introduction. Crazy what a few years can do to a previously unthinkable stigma.
Yeah it's interesting to see how common perceptions change over time, nobody really notices until you look back and realize how different everything used to be. 20 years ago there was no such thing as online dating, 10 years ago it was seen as a creepy den of weirdos, now we're here: http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/06/03/online-dating-marriage/2377961/
A lot of that coincides with the rise of the internet itself - now that it's reached full permeation through every aspect of our lives though, it seems like this process will only accelerate for each new thing. More connectivity means more rapid exposure to new ideas, so new trends can catch on much more quickly.
My wife and I live in a fairly conservative religious area and danced around how we met the first few months we were dating. When we got tired of that and just started saying online, even old codgers were impressed.
Online dating has been a bust for me for a large part.
BUT
I used Meetup.com to try to meet people when I moved into my current city and it's not stretching to say it changed my life.
Met tons of awesome people who are now my closest friends, came more out of my shell (to the point where I now run my own group) and discovered a love for the outdoors.
It's not uncommon for a group of 10-12 of us just to go out and grab dinner together or movie or drinks. People have assumed we're everything from a church group to co workers, and are always surprised when we mentioned we all met online.
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JeanHeartbroken papa bearGatineau, QuébecRegistered Userregular
Yeah it's interesting to see how common perceptions change over time, nobody really notices until you look back and realize how different everything used to be. 20 years ago there was no such thing as online dating, 10 years ago it was seen as a creepy den of weirdos, now we're here: http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/06/03/online-dating-marriage/2377961/
A lot of that coincides with the rise of the internet itself - now that it's reached full permeation through every aspect of our lives though, it seems like this process will only accelerate for each new thing. More connectivity means more rapid exposure to new ideas, so new trends can catch on much more quickly.
One line really got my attention in the article you linked
those who met online were twice as likely to marry as those who met offline.
I wonder what may cause such a huge difference?
"You won't destroy us, You won't destroy our democracy. We are a small but proud nation. No one can bomb us to silence. No one can scare us from being Norway. This evening and tonight, we'll take care of each other. That's what we do best when attacked'' - Jens Stoltenberg
One more success story for the thread: I met my current girlfriend on OK Cupid in January 2008. We have a house and two cats now.
And another; girl I've been seeing since just before Christmas just made it "facebook official". It took a lot of time, tedium, terrible dates and a few breaks, but I finally did it. And if there's hope for me, then there's hope for anybody!
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AbsoluteZeroThe new film by Quentin KoopantinoRegistered Userregular
edited February 2015
I met my wife on PlentyOfFish almost exactly one year after this thread died. Not before meeting a whole bunch of fucking weirdos first. Nevertheless, I think it's a perfectly valid way to find your soulmate, and a great option for the more introverted among us.
Of course, this is not an endorsement for PlentyOfFish specifically, since that was all several years ago and I've no idea what that site is like these days. Truth be told I only used it since it was free.
I went from being slightly embarrassed to urging anyone I can to give it a try
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CorehealerThe ApothecaryThe softer edge of the universe.Registered Userregular
Tangentially related; I've met quite a few of my own romantic interests in massively multiplayer online games like World of Warcraft and Final Fantasy
I've tried the online dating site scene myself and my Mom actually had success with it via Plenty of Fish and other sites, but I find that I prefer getting to know people via mutual interest in games we both play and engaging them via activities in the game world while gradually getting to know them. It's worked out quite well for me so far, and I'm definitely not the only one who's had success finding love in an MMO.
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HacksawJ. Duggan Esq.Wrestler at LawRegistered Userregular
Met my current gf on Tinder.
THE SYSTEM WORKS
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DaimarA Million Feet Tall of AwesomeRegistered Userregular
I know it's a tad hypocritical since I think that online dating is a great thing, but when I hear people getting together on Tinder my first reaction must be similar to how people reacted to people's when I told them I was seeing someone I met on the internet 10 years ago.
Posts
When CSI meets Dating.
[David Caruso]Looks like the walls aren't the only thing being white-washed here.[/David Caruso]
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
*Cue theme music*
I would greatly prefer to speed date than go the internet route, but damnit there are so few speed dating options here. There's maybe one a month that I''ve found, through OKcupid, and usually 25 is the very bottom end of the age spectrum, going up to 35 or 40. If I went, I'm sure there'd be very few women on the lower end of the spectrum, and lots of women in their 30s that I'd likely be wasting my time on.
So in that vein, you might be better off trying to find someone with similar interests through a site like that, or instead of specifically going for a 'dating' site, try out a meetup one - I recently (as in this past weekend) joined meetup.com to look for some people to go hiking/running with since my coworkers don't seem particularly interested in that. Depending on how it goes, I might branch out into some things that I'd not done before but would be interested in doing in an informal manner. Work's nuts right now though (going 6 days a week normally, often late into the evening), so I haven't been able to actually do anything with them yet, but when I do make it out, I'll let you guys know how it goes. I'm not expecting massive returns on this - looking at the groups, it's much more age variant (ranging from late teens all the way into 50s ans 60s), so it's probably best to look elsewhere in terms of actively seeking dating (unless you go for one of the singles ones...there's quite a few of those, including some that appear to be going on a cruise or something early next year), but I honestly think it'd be more successful in terms of meeting people with similar interests.
My girlfriend and myself of four years met online from a dating site. We've lived together for about 2 1/2 - 3 years of that. Four years isn't long in the grand scheme of things, but these days it sure feels like it is. At this point I basically accept I'll most likely pop the question to her someday, god willing. Just neither of us are in a hurry.
On a side note, both of us are a bit embarrassed by how we met, so when people ask we usually just say we met through a mutual friend. A dating site is sort of like a friend, right?
Edit- Aaaaaaaaaand just noticed this was a necro'd thread... Carry on, nothing to see here >.>
Full of people's thoughts about that new-fangled whatsit called Facebook.
For those wondering, I met my wife through OKCupid, so I guess the answer is yes, online dating sites ARE useful.
You ain't kiddin'. Not to mention the fact that there are posts in this thread from now-deceased members of our forum community (@Zonkytonkman). Relics from another time...
Our paths would had most likely never crossed if it wasn't for online dating. Hell, it came dangerously close to not happening at all as she was on the verge of giving up on the whole online dating thing when I first messaged her.
What was your first message to her? I am curious.
I didn't know Zonkytonkman had actually died. Ω
It was actually as basic as you can get!
Good evening, my name is Jean-Sébastien. Pleased to meet you. What is your name?
She was on the verge of calling it quits because she was fed up of guys who only wanted one thing.
Hey I met MY wife through OKCupid, too!
PSN/Steam/NNID: SyphonBlue | BNet: SyphonBlue#1126
A lot of that coincides with the rise of the internet itself - now that it's reached full permeation through every aspect of our lives though, it seems like this process will only accelerate for each new thing. More connectivity means more rapid exposure to new ideas, so new trends can catch on much more quickly.
BUT
I used Meetup.com to try to meet people when I moved into my current city and it's not stretching to say it changed my life.
Met tons of awesome people who are now my closest friends, came more out of my shell (to the point where I now run my own group) and discovered a love for the outdoors.
It's not uncommon for a group of 10-12 of us just to go out and grab dinner together or movie or drinks. People have assumed we're everything from a church group to co workers, and are always surprised when we mentioned we all met online.
One line really got my attention in the article you linked
those who met online were twice as likely to marry as those who met offline.
I wonder what may cause such a huge difference?
Switch Friend Code: 3102-5341-0358
Nintendo Network ID: PhysiMarc
And another; girl I've been seeing since just before Christmas just made it "facebook official". It took a lot of time, tedium, terrible dates and a few breaks, but I finally did it. And if there's hope for me, then there's hope for anybody!
Of course, this is not an endorsement for PlentyOfFish specifically, since that was all several years ago and I've no idea what that site is like these days. Truth be told I only used it since it was free.
Online dating worked for me!
I've tried the online dating site scene myself and my Mom actually had success with it via Plenty of Fish and other sites, but I find that I prefer getting to know people via mutual interest in games we both play and engaging them via activities in the game world while gradually getting to know them. It's worked out quite well for me so far, and I'm definitely not the only one who's had success finding love in an MMO.
THE SYSTEM WORKS
I know it's a tad hypocritical since I think that online dating is a great thing, but when I hear people getting together on Tinder my first reaction must be similar to how people reacted to people's when I told them I was seeing someone I met on the internet 10 years ago.