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A [PHALLA] of Ice and Fire - Littlefinger is King

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Posts

  • FunkyWaltDoggFunkyWaltDogg Columbia, SCRegistered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Plutonium wrote: »
    precisionk wrote: »
    So considering I am entirely lazy and care not to read a wiki, who can give me quick rundown of Ice and Fire stuff?

    I want it in less then 15 sentences.

    I'll do it

    Minor (Background) spoilers:
    Welcome to Westeros. There are a bunch of intermarried noble houses in Westeros, most prominantly, the Targaryens, The Starks, The Lannisters, and the Baratheons, and a few assorted others.

    For 300 years, the Throne has belonged to the Targaryens, who had a propensity for inbreeding, resulting in Westeros going to shit under the reign of the Mad King, Aerys Targaryen II, a crazy pyro motherfucker, who had a much less crazy and actually very noble son, Viserys.

    Enter our first generation of characters: Robert Baratheon, Eddard "Ned" Stark, and Tywin Lannister, the leaders of the other three prominent houses.

    What happened was this: Robert and Ned were best friends, and Robert was going to marry Ned's beautiful sister, Lyanna Stark. Enter Viserys - who, even though he was already married with 2 small children, kidnaps Lyanna, for unknown reasons.

    This is the last straw for Robert and Ned, who declare war on the Targaryens. During the war, at the Battle of the Trident, Robert kills Viserys with a mighty blow to the chest from his War Hammer. The war ends when House Lannister, known for being very rich, double-crosses the Targaryens and sacks their capital, and Jaime Lannister, the son of Tywin Lannister and a supposedly sworn bodyguard of the King Aerys II, kills the king, instead of letting him burn the city to the ground, as he wanted to, being a crazy pyro motherfucker. Lyanna also dies mysteriously, along with Visery's wife and two children.

    So, Robert becomes King, and has to marry Cersei Lannister, a huge cunt and Jaime's twin sister, while Jon Arryn, Robert's father-figure, becomes his hand - basically the Chief of Staff for the King.

    Cersei however, being a huge cunt and a psyco-bitch in her own right, was sleeping with her twin brother, and her and Robert's three children aren't actually Robert's, which Jon Arryn finds out, and is soonafter killed for.

    So Robert calls up his best friend Ned, and asks him to be his new hand. However, Robert "dies mysteriously" in a hunting accident, and this is the start of the books.

    Just a minor quibble, you said Viserys where you meant Rhaegar in several places here.

    FunkyWaltDogg on
  • PlutoniumPlutonium Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    whoops, you're right, fix't.

    Plutonium on
  • DogDog Registered User, Administrator, Vanilla Staff admin
    edited October 2007
    Vic wrote: »
    Could someone start a bandwagon on me?

    Preferably soon.

    Unknown User on
  • SkulkSkulk Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    robothero wrote: »
    Vic wrote: »
    Could someone start a bandwagon on me?

    Preferably soon.

    Vote Vic

    Whatever you say.

    Skulk on
  • cj iwakuracj iwakura The Rhythm Regent Bears The Name FreedomRegistered User regular
    edited October 2007
    You do realize you're bandwagoning a person who's read the books.

    We want them alive, people.

    RNG, go!

    !vote Zot

    cj iwakura on
    wVEsyIc.png
  • SquashuaSquashua __BANNED USERS regular
    edited October 2007
    Man, vigilantes should announce their kills right at vote close time for the win.

    Squashua on
  • FunkyWaltDoggFunkyWaltDogg Columbia, SCRegistered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Squashua wrote: »
    Man, vigilantes should announce their kills right at vote close time for the win.

    Don't you remember what happened last time a vigilante announced himself in a team game?

    FunkyWaltDogg on
  • mrpakumrpaku Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    i don't, what happened?

    mrpaku on
  • SquashuaSquashua __BANNED USERS regular
    edited October 2007
    Obviously not, but if it was funny, I'm willing to watch it happen again.

    Squashua on
  • VicVic Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    robothero wrote: »
    Vic wrote: »
    Could someone start a bandwagon on me?

    Preferably soon.

    F**ck you robothero. Right up your frozen stark butt.

    In lighter none-grudgevoting news a new attractive bandwagon has opened up! So don't get left in the dust, join the cool new trend and vote for !zot

    I have no idea why, but neither do you.

    Also, !retract Vic. In a last desperate attempt to survive, I beg our glorious master !DevoutedlyApathetic to let me live. Or if that is impossible, at least kill robothero. That guy is a dick.

    Vic on
  • NovusNovus regular
    edited October 2007
    Plutonium wrote: »
    Plutonium wrote: »
    Major Spoilers:
    Jon knew everything, because Ned found out what he knew in the course of investigating his death and following his steps and research. The key was the hair color of the Cersei's children. They're were already rumors that Cersei and Jaime were fooling around, and all of the royal children were blond, while every single member of the Baratheon dynasty had dark hair, including all of Robert's bastards.
    Was there a journal of Arryn's or something? I seem to remember him writing something cryptic that mentioned it.

    I remember Ned following in Jon's footsteps but I couldn't remember how he knew what Jon had done. Since everybody loyal to Ned was in the north at the time I was wondering just how much subtle direction or coercion of witnesses Petyr had done to point Ned in the direction he wanted him to be pointed in.
    I figure this was the course of events.

    Petyr knows everything that goes on in Westeros, but doesn't really wield any public power. So Petyr has Jon Arryn killed, knowing that he would be replaced by Ned Stark. Petyr goads Ned into finding out the secret of the Lannister's incest and feigns suprise, and because he has the city guard on his payroll, promises to helps Ned arrest Cersei. However, at the last moment, Petyr betrays Ned, and Ned is killed, but not before the incest is exposed.

    So the War of the Five Kings starts. Stannis and his estranged gay brother Renly believe they each should be King over Westeros, becuase the Lannister children are illegitimate. Robb Stark wants to be king in a new independent north, Balon Greyjoy thinks he should be King in a new independent Iron islands, and Cersei Lannister thinks her son Joffrey should be King.

    Basically at the end of the war, the only one who comes out ahead is Petyr, who now controls a huge dominion.

    Hi; I'm just lurking but I do have one question
    when you say Petyr betrays Ned; my understanding was that Petyr legitimately wanted Ned to come out on top but Ned wouldn't compromise his morals so Petyr did what he had to. I'm still convinced that Petyr is a - relatively - decent guy but maybe I've misread something and I'd appreciate any clarification. Also

    - wild speculation unrelated to the current conversation + possible spoiler -
    Am I the only one who thinks that John Snow is actually the son of Rhaegar and Lyanna?

    Novus on
    I'm not smart, but thanks to the internet I can pretend.
    wii Number 0648 2052 0203 3154
  • FunkyWaltDoggFunkyWaltDogg Columbia, SCRegistered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Squashua wrote: »
    Obviously not, but if it was funny, I'm willing to watch it happen again.

    I wouldn't be so sure...
    I killed you in a duel.

    FunkyWaltDogg on
  • QorzmQorzm Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    !precisionk for a better bandwagon

    Qorzm on
  • FunkyWaltDoggFunkyWaltDogg Columbia, SCRegistered User regular
    edited October 2007
    I am not really sure why but I can get behind !zot.

    FunkyWaltDogg on
  • SquashuaSquashua __BANNED USERS regular
    edited October 2007
    Squashua wrote: »
    Obviously not, but if it was funny, I'm willing to watch it happen again.

    I wouldn't be so sure...
    I killed you in a duel.

    Oh right.

    !kill FunkyWaltDogg, he says in a game that contains Duels (per the OP).

    Squashua on
  • delrolanddelroland Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Your words have moved me, and so I !retract Vic.

    Edit: Would anyone be willing and kindly enough to throw up a vote tally?

    delroland on
    EVE: Online - the most fun you will ever have not playing a game.
    "Go up, thou bald head." -2 Kings 2:23
  • Romantic UndeadRomantic Undead Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Well, I guess if I don't !retract Vic then that makes me an asshole then, right?

    I don't want to be an asshole, so I'll join the cool kids and vote !Zot

    Romantic Undead on
    3DS FC: 1547-5210-6531
  • QorzmQorzm Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    !retract precisionk

    For some reason I thought there were votes against him.

    !vote Vic


    Who censors the word fuck?

    Vote tally (including the votes I just made)


    Kill


    Pretentious - 3
    Bliss101 - 3
    Grundlterror - 2
    Niceguy Myeye - 2
    Raakam - 2
    Skulk - 1
    Tehspectre - 1
    Vic - 4
    Zot - 4
    FunkyWaltDogg - 1

    Regent

    DevoutlyApathetic - 17
    Precisionk - 7
    Qorzm - 3
    Zot - 1
    Mr. Embarkation - 1
    Obbi - 1
    FunkyWaltDogg - 1

    Qorzm on
  • Jester313Jester313 Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    I'm pretty sure I voted for myself as Regent at one point. But that is beside the point.

    Vote !NATIK because I have no idea who that is.

    Jester313 on
  • Cold Salmon and HatredCold Salmon and Hatred __BANNED USERS regular
    edited October 2007
    Oh fuck

    Where the hell did this bandwagon come from?

    Cold Salmon and Hatred on
  • SquashuaSquashua __BANNED USERS regular
    edited October 2007
    @Qorzm

    I was dying to ask you to do this in PhalLOST - if you're keeping a vote count, could you list who voted for whom?

    Like, bold or underline the target name and list the names of those who voted for that person under it?

    Not that Plutonium needs something like that, but it's always a lot more helpful to see WHO voted for WHO from our perspective.

    For example, bad guys occasionally vote in clusters.

    Squashua on
  • cj iwakuracj iwakura The Rhythm Regent Bears The Name FreedomRegistered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Zot wrote: »
    Oh fuck

    Where the hell did this bandwagon come from?

    My bad. Or rather, random.org's.

    cj iwakura on
    wVEsyIc.png
  • RendRend Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Vic wrote: »
    robothero wrote: »
    Vic wrote: »
    Could someone start a bandwagon on me?

    Preferably soon.

    F**ck you robothero. Right up your frozen stark butt.

    In lighter none-grudgevoting news a new attractive bandwagon has opened up! So don't get left in the dust, join the cool new trend and vote for !zot

    I have no idea why, but neither do you.

    Also, !retract Vic. In a last desperate attempt to survive, I beg our glorious master !DevoutedlyApathetic to let me live. Or if that is impossible, at least kill robothero. That guy is a dick.

    Where I come from, them's DUELIN' words...

    Rend on
  • OatsOats Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Squashua wrote: »
    For example, bad guys occasionally vote in clusters.

    The Others weren't bad... we just liked crotches more than the average person. And decided to take them by force. Also, I only voted once, and then I retracted it.

    Oats on
  • Cold Salmon and HatredCold Salmon and Hatred __BANNED USERS regular
    edited October 2007
    !Vic is a dick

    Cold Salmon and Hatred on
  • QorzmQorzm Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Squashua wrote: »
    @Qorzm

    I was dying to ask you to do this in PhalLOST - if you're keeping a vote count, could you list who voted for whom?

    Like, bold or underline the target name and list the names of those who voted for that person under it?

    Not that Plutonium needs something like that, but it's always a lot more helpful to see WHO voted for WHO from our perspective.

    For example, bad guys occasionally vote in clusters.
    Didn't I do that in PhalLOST? I do it like that in every Phalla, unless I am going off of someone's previous vote count. Normally once a new round starts I'll set the format for the votes. I was going off of Plutonium's list this time, but yeah, I'll go back and see who voted for who.

    Qorzm on
  • VicVic Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Curses!

    Vic on
  • PlutoniumPlutonium Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Vote Count
    (The one that counts)

    Regent

    DevoutlyApathetic - 15
    Precisionk - 6
    Qorzm - 2
    Various Others - 1

    Kill

    Vic - 5
    Zot - 4
    Bliss 101 - 2
    Niceguy Myeye - 2
    Raakam - 2
    Grundlterror - 2
    Various others - 1

    Plutonium on
  • FunkyWaltDoggFunkyWaltDogg Columbia, SCRegistered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Squashua wrote: »
    Squashua wrote: »
    Obviously not, but if it was funny, I'm willing to watch it happen again.

    I wouldn't be so sure...
    I killed you in a duel.

    Oh right.

    !kill FunkyWaltDogg, he says in a game that contains Duels (per the OP).

    Are you saying you want to duel me?

    FunkyWaltDogg on
  • PlutoniumPlutonium Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Here's a question.

    How do you retards keep accidentally deleting your Role Pm's? That's 4 of you so far.

    Plutonium on
  • precisionkprecisionk Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Plutonium wrote: »
    Here's a question.

    How do you retards keep accidentally deleting your Role Pm's. That's 4 of you so far.

    Let me guess who:

    DA
    Grundl
    Raakam
    DA

    precisionk on
  • VicVic Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Qorzm wrote: »
    Who censors the word fuck?

    Will you vote for zot if I say fuck, cockfag?

    Vic on
  • PlutoniumPlutonium Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Yep

    DA lost his twice.

    Plutonium on
  • SkulkSkulk Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Plutonium wrote: »
    Here's a question.

    How do you retards keep accidentally deleting your Role Pm's? That's 4 of you so far.

    Hahaha, come on, give us names!

    Skulk on
  • RendRend Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Skulk wrote: »
    Plutonium wrote: »
    Here's a question.

    How do you retards keep accidentally deleting your Role Pm's? That's 4 of you so far.

    Hahaha, come on, give us names/roles/houses!

    fixed.

    Rend on
  • QorzmQorzm Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Vic wrote: »
    Qorzm wrote: »
    Who censors the word fuck?

    Will you vote for zot if I say fuck, cockfag?
    Vote for a baseless RNG bandwagon, or vote for a fucking retard the village could do without, who also called me a cockfag?

    Hmm

    Qorzm on
  • Romantic UndeadRomantic Undead Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    Woah woah woah, if Qorzm is a Cockfag, he's MY Cockfag!

    !retract Zot

    !Vote Vic

    Romantic Undead on
    3DS FC: 1547-5210-6531
  • LucienLucien Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    !retract PRËTËNTIÖüS

    !vote Zot

    To keep things interesting.

    Lucien on
    "This is my Timey-Whimie detector, it goes ding when there's stuff. Also, it can boil an egg at thirty paces"
  • cj iwakuracj iwakura The Rhythm Regent Bears The Name FreedomRegistered User regular
    edited October 2007
    That so fits the avatar.

    cj iwakura on
    wVEsyIc.png
  • mrpakumrpaku Registered User regular
    edited October 2007
    !retract Raakam

    !vote Vic

    mrpaku on
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