So considering I am entirely lazy and care not to read a wiki, who can give me quick rundown of Ice and Fire stuff?
I want it in less then 15 sentences.
I'll do it
Minor (Background) spoilers:
Welcome to Westeros. There are a bunch of intermarried noble houses in Westeros, most prominantly, the Targaryens, The Starks, The Lannisters, and the Baratheons, and a few assorted others.
For 300 years, the Throne has belonged to the Targaryens, who had a propensity for inbreeding, resulting in Westeros going to shit under the reign of the Mad King, Aerys Targaryen II, a crazy pyro motherfucker, who had a much less crazy and actually very noble son, Viserys.
Enter our first generation of characters: Robert Baratheon, Eddard "Ned" Stark, and Tywin Lannister, the leaders of the other three prominent houses.
What happened was this: Robert and Ned were best friends, and Robert was going to marry Ned's beautiful sister, Lyanna Stark. Enter Viserys - who, even though he was already married with 2 small children, kidnaps Lyanna, for unknown reasons.
This is the last straw for Robert and Ned, who declare war on the Targaryens. During the war, at the Battle of the Trident, Robert kills Viserys with a mighty blow to the chest from his War Hammer. The war ends when House Lannister, known for being very rich, double-crosses the Targaryens and sacks their capital, and Jaime Lannister, the son of Tywin Lannister and a supposedly sworn bodyguard of the King Aerys II, kills the king, instead of letting him burn the city to the ground, as he wanted to, being a crazy pyro motherfucker. Lyanna also dies mysteriously, along with Visery's wife and two children.
So, Robert becomes King, and has to marry Cersei Lannister, a huge cunt and Jaime's twin sister, while Jon Arryn, Robert's father-figure, becomes his hand - basically the Chief of Staff for the King.
Cersei however, being a huge cunt and a psyco-bitch in her own right, was sleeping with her twin brother, and her and Robert's three children aren't actually Robert's, which Jon Arryn finds out, and is soonafter killed for.
So Robert calls up his best friend Ned, and asks him to be his new hand. However, Robert "dies mysteriously" in a hunting accident, and this is the start of the books.
Just a minor quibble, you said Viserys where you meant Rhaegar in several places here.
F**ck you robothero. Right up your frozen stark butt.
In lighter none-grudgevoting news a new attractive bandwagon has opened up! So don't get left in the dust, join the cool new trend and vote for !zot
I have no idea why, but neither do you.
Also, !retract Vic. In a last desperate attempt to survive, I beg our glorious master !DevoutedlyApathetic to let me live. Or if that is impossible, at least kill robothero. That guy is a dick.
Jon knew everything, because Ned found out what he knew in the course of investigating his death and following his steps and research. The key was the hair color of the Cersei's children. They're were already rumors that Cersei and Jaime were fooling around, and all of the royal children were blond, while every single member of the Baratheon dynasty had dark hair, including all of Robert's bastards.
Was there a journal of Arryn's or something? I seem to remember him writing something cryptic that mentioned it.
I remember Ned following in Jon's footsteps but I couldn't remember how he knew what Jon had done. Since everybody loyal to Ned was in the north at the time I was wondering just how much subtle direction or coercion of witnesses Petyr had done to point Ned in the direction he wanted him to be pointed in.
I figure this was the course of events.
Petyr knows everything that goes on in Westeros, but doesn't really wield any public power. So Petyr has Jon Arryn killed, knowing that he would be replaced by Ned Stark. Petyr goads Ned into finding out the secret of the Lannister's incest and feigns suprise, and because he has the city guard on his payroll, promises to helps Ned arrest Cersei. However, at the last moment, Petyr betrays Ned, and Ned is killed, but not before the incest is exposed.
So the War of the Five Kings starts. Stannis and his estranged gay brother Renly believe they each should be King over Westeros, becuase the Lannister children are illegitimate. Robb Stark wants to be king in a new independent north, Balon Greyjoy thinks he should be King in a new independent Iron islands, and Cersei Lannister thinks her son Joffrey should be King.
Basically at the end of the war, the only one who comes out ahead is Petyr, who now controls a huge dominion.
Hi; I'm just lurking but I do have one question
when you say Petyr betrays Ned; my understanding was that Petyr legitimately wanted Ned to come out on top but Ned wouldn't compromise his morals so Petyr did what he had to. I'm still convinced that Petyr is a - relatively - decent guy but maybe I've misread something and I'd appreciate any clarification. Also
- wild speculation unrelated to the current conversation + possible spoiler -
Am I the only one who thinks that John Snow is actually the son of Rhaegar and Lyanna?
Novus on
I'm not smart, but thanks to the internet I can pretend.
wii Number 0648 2052 0203 3154
F**ck you robothero. Right up your frozen stark butt.
In lighter none-grudgevoting news a new attractive bandwagon has opened up! So don't get left in the dust, join the cool new trend and vote for !zot
I have no idea why, but neither do you.
Also, !retract Vic. In a last desperate attempt to survive, I beg our glorious master !DevoutedlyApathetic to let me live. Or if that is impossible, at least kill robothero. That guy is a dick.
For example, bad guys occasionally vote in clusters.
The Others weren't bad... we just liked crotches more than the average person. And decided to take them by force. Also, I only voted once, and then I retracted it.
I was dying to ask you to do this in PhalLOST - if you're keeping a vote count, could you list who voted for whom?
Like, bold or underline the target name and list the names of those who voted for that person under it?
Not that Plutonium needs something like that, but it's always a lot more helpful to see WHO voted for WHO from our perspective.
For example, bad guys occasionally vote in clusters.
Didn't I do that in PhalLOST? I do it like that in every Phalla, unless I am going off of someone's previous vote count. Normally once a new round starts I'll set the format for the votes. I was going off of Plutonium's list this time, but yeah, I'll go back and see who voted for who.
Posts
Just a minor quibble, you said Viserys where you meant Rhaegar in several places here.
Vote Vic
Whatever you say.
We want them alive, people.
RNG, go!
!vote Zot
Don't you remember what happened last time a vigilante announced himself in a team game?
F**ck you robothero. Right up your frozen stark butt.
In lighter none-grudgevoting news a new attractive bandwagon has opened up! So don't get left in the dust, join the cool new trend and vote for !zot
I have no idea why, but neither do you.
Also, !retract Vic. In a last desperate attempt to survive, I beg our glorious master !DevoutedlyApathetic to let me live. Or if that is impossible, at least kill robothero. That guy is a dick.
Hi; I'm just lurking but I do have one question
- wild speculation unrelated to the current conversation + possible spoiler -
wii Number 0648 2052 0203 3154
I wouldn't be so sure...
@Bryceforvice on Twitter Facebook
Oh right.
!kill FunkyWaltDogg, he says in a game that contains Duels (per the OP).
Edit: Would anyone be willing and kindly enough to throw up a vote tally?
"Go up, thou bald head." -2 Kings 2:23
I don't want to be an asshole, so I'll join the cool kids and vote !Zot
For some reason I thought there were votes against him.
!vote Vic
Who censors the word fuck?
Vote tally (including the votes I just made)
Kill
Pretentious - 3
Bliss101 - 3
Grundlterror - 2
Niceguy Myeye - 2
Raakam - 2
Skulk - 1
Tehspectre - 1
Vic - 4
Zot - 4
FunkyWaltDogg - 1
Regent
DevoutlyApathetic - 17
Precisionk - 7
Qorzm - 3
Zot - 1
Mr. Embarkation - 1
Obbi - 1
FunkyWaltDogg - 1
@Bryceforvice on Twitter Facebook
Vote !NATIK because I have no idea who that is.
Where the hell did this bandwagon come from?
I was dying to ask you to do this in PhalLOST - if you're keeping a vote count, could you list who voted for whom?
Like, bold or underline the target name and list the names of those who voted for that person under it?
Not that Plutonium needs something like that, but it's always a lot more helpful to see WHO voted for WHO from our perspective.
For example, bad guys occasionally vote in clusters.
My bad. Or rather, random.org's.
Where I come from, them's DUELIN' words...
The Others weren't bad... we just liked crotches more than the average person. And decided to take them by force. Also, I only voted once, and then I retracted it.
@Bryceforvice on Twitter Facebook
(The one that counts)
Regent
DevoutlyApathetic - 15
Precisionk - 6
Qorzm - 2
Various Others - 1
Kill
Vic - 5
Zot - 4
Bliss 101 - 2
Niceguy Myeye - 2
Raakam - 2
Grundlterror - 2
Various others - 1
Are you saying you want to duel me?
How do you retards keep accidentally deleting your Role Pm's? That's 4 of you so far.
Let me guess who:
DA
Grundl
Raakam
DA
Will you vote for zot if I say fuck, cockfag?
DA lost his twice.
Hahaha, come on, give us names!
fixed.
Hmm
@Bryceforvice on Twitter Facebook
!retract Zot
!Vote Vic
!vote Zot
To keep things interesting.
!vote Vic