I'm going on two dates this week lol xD I feel bad I'm talking to both of them at the same time....But I've been told that's not a bad thing since I'm still single. one is a second date and the other is a meet up date.
Edit: I'm really new to dating and I don't know if talking to two people at them same time is really appropriate or not...it's a little uncomfortable.
this girl had a really imposing profile, but she mentioned she liked sledding and we had a sledding field trip last year so I can actually say I have gone sledding recently and messaged her about it
I'm going on two dates this week lol xD I feel bad I'm talking to both of them at the same time....But I've been told that's not a bad thing since I'm still single. one is a second date and the other is a meet up date.
Edit: I'm really new to dating and I don't know if talking to two people at them same time is really appropriate or not...it's a little uncomfortable.
I would say if it's not terribly serious don't worry too much about whether it's appropriate or not, you're not committed to somebody just cause you went on a couple dates.
If and when you or the other person feels comfortable broaching the subject of dating exclusively then you can have a conversation one way or the other.
I showed my tumblr to the woman I've been talking to and she reblogged some of my stuff and I'm going "nuuuuuhhhhhhh" but in a good way?????????????????????????
I dunno where else to talk about this, but the past week my girlfriends anxiety/depression has gotten a lot worse. There hasn't been any sort of triggering event, so we think it's because of the change in dosage of her anti-depressants. Things were at their worse last night where she didn't feel comfortable being alone and was scared of her thoughts. I spent the night with her and in the morning helped her call in for a same-day appointment with our campuses triage counseling. They set her up with weekly appointments but recommended her to the hospital to stay for a day or two to be observed and have her medication monitored/hopefully changed to something that will be better for her. I'm just feeling so overwhelmed by all of this, and when I feel overwhelmed I feel guilty because it's nothing compared to what she's dealing with. I don't know if she's even told her family yet.
I'm just a fucking kid, I can't legally buy a beer, how the hell am I supposed to help someone cope with suicidal thoughts? I'm positive I'm fucking it up, and I know getting her professional help was the best move but I can't help but feel like I passed her off to someone else. How do I drop a scared loved one off at a hospital and then go watch a fucking biochemistry lecture. I just want her to be better, and I pray that this will get her there, but I can't even think about what the next steps would be if this didn't help. I can't talk about this with anyone, I'm afraid I'd be betraying her trust. What if I have to break this news to her family? They shouldn't have to hear this thing from some kid who's dating their daughter.
I'm going on two dates this week lol xD I feel bad I'm talking to both of them at the same time....But I've been told that's not a bad thing since I'm still single. one is a second date and the other is a meet up date.
Edit: I'm really new to dating and I don't know if talking to two people at them same time is really appropriate or not...it's a little uncomfortable.
I would say if it's not terribly serious don't worry too much about whether it's appropriate or not, you're not committed to somebody just cause you went on a couple dates.
If and when you or the other person feels comfortable broaching the subject of dating exclusively then you can have a conversation one way or the other.
First few dates, don't even bring it up.
Getting kind of serious with one or all of the people you're dating, bring it up.
I mean I don't know that it's an absolute moral imperative, but I'd feel skeevy doing ultra-kisses with multiple people at the same time without them knowing about each other. It's a different level of intimacy. Also obviously if they bring up the fact that they'd like to be exclusive, talk to them about it.
It worked for me to be direct with everyone. Then after a couple months it kind of solidified in my mind that there was one person I really wanted to commit myself to. At that point I broke it off with the other people, then had a short conversation about it with the person I wanted to be with.
Just in general so long as you are equally infatuated with everyone you're dating, it's a fun time. Eventually infatuation will fade, and the person you like being around most will stand out. Or it will become clear that none of them are a good person for you.
Remember to preface all discussion topics with "wait did I tell you about...?" because you will totally forget if you did or not.
Nothing to apologize for, you're doing the best you can, and you've recognized that you aren't fully equipped to handle a situation like that and you're supportive in getting her help. If somebody cut their hand wide open, would you feel bad you couldn't properly give them stitches vs getting them to a hospital?
Nothing to apologize for, you're doing the best you can, and you've recognized that you aren't fully equipped to handle a situation like that and you're supportive in getting her help. If somebody cut their hand wide open, would you feel bad you couldn't properly give them stitches vs getting them to a hospital?
no, your absolutely right its more that...being in that moment where someone is telling me how bad it really is in that moment for them terrified the shit out of me. I was barely able to keep it together, and I wouldn't wish a moment like that on my worst enemy. But I feel like a shitty person for even thinking about how I felt in that situation, because it shouldn't matter
I dunno where else to talk about this, but the past week my girlfriends anxiety/depression has gotten a lot worse. There hasn't been any sort of triggering event, so we think it's because of the change in dosage of her anti-depressants. Things were at their worse last night where she didn't feel comfortable being alone and was scared of her thoughts. I spent the night with her and in the morning helped her call in for a same-day appointment with our campuses triage counseling. They set her up with weekly appointments but recommended her to the hospital to stay for a day or two to be observed and have her medication monitored/hopefully changed to something that will be better for her. I'm just feeling so overwhelmed by all of this, and when I feel overwhelmed I feel guilty because it's nothing compared to what she's dealing with. I don't know if she's even told her family yet.
I'm just a fucking kid, I can't legally buy a beer, how the hell am I supposed to help someone cope with suicidal thoughts? I'm positive I'm fucking it up, and I know getting her professional help was the best move but I can't help but feel like I passed her off to someone else. How do I drop a scared loved one off at a hospital and then go watch a fucking biochemistry lecture. I just want her to be better, and I pray that this will get her there, but I can't even think about what the next steps would be if this didn't help. I can't talk about this with anyone, I'm afraid I'd be betraying her trust. What if I have to break this news to her family? They shouldn't have to hear this thing from some kid who's dating their daughter.
Sorry for rambling about this
You absolutely did the best you can. There's literally not a thing you can do to effectively treat her anxiety. The best thing you can be is a source of pre-ordained sensible moves. She knows what is up, she decided to call in for counseling. You helped her do something that was a good idea, which is hard for her to do while in the grip of anxiety.
It's okay for you to be overwhelmed. You are in no way equipped to solve any of these problems. You did the best thing you could, keeping her on an even keel before passing her to people more capable than you.
Focus on what you can do more effectively than professionals now. That might not be a lot. It might just be the fact that you're able to provide hugs. It might just be continuing to do alright on your own so she can focus on what she needs to do. That's alright.
I would speak to professors and TAs in oblique terms if you feel like you legitimately can't concentrate. Speaking as a former TA, the difference between a bullshitting student and a seriously worried student is really obvious, and we're all super concerned about helping out students who are actually feeling horrible. It would also make sense to see if you can get some counseling. It is incredibly stressful to experience this, and having a non-internet person to talk with could help a lot.
Speaking as a person who's been able to drink for a while, this is never going to be something that you feel capable of handling. It's terrifying to know that someone you love has serious problems you can do next to nothing about. You're already handling it as well as people handle it. Continue doing the best you can, it is literally all that you can do.
Nothing to apologize for, you're doing the best you can, and you've recognized that you aren't fully equipped to handle a situation like that and you're supportive in getting her help. If somebody cut their hand wide open, would you feel bad you couldn't properly give them stitches vs getting them to a hospital?
no, your absolutely right its more that...being in that moment where someone is telling me how bad it really is in that moment for them terrified the shit out of me. I was barely able to keep it together, and I wouldn't wish a moment like that on my worst enemy. But I feel like a shitty person for even thinking about how I felt in that situation, because it shouldn't matter
That is an incredibly stressful situation to be in, and it is entirely valid for you to have those feelings in response to it. Just because she is doing worse at the moment does not mean your reaction to the situation is bad or wrong.
From the sounds of things you did everything you could to help her out and followed all the right steps to be a supportive boyfriend. Being overwhelmed by something so sudden and difficult is not unnatural, and you don't need to feel ashamed of feeling that way. Just keep doing your best to support her, and it will make all the difference in helping her pull through.
CambiataCommander ShepardThe likes of which even GAWD has never seenRegistered Userregular
They accepted our offer on the condo! They even claimed the letter helped!
"If you divide the whole world into just enemies and friends, you'll end up destroying everything" --Nausicaa of the Valley of Wind
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CambiataCommander ShepardThe likes of which even GAWD has never seenRegistered Userregular
Soon: cat times.
"If you divide the whole world into just enemies and friends, you'll end up destroying everything" --Nausicaa of the Valley of Wind
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CambiataCommander ShepardThe likes of which even GAWD has never seenRegistered Userregular
As if to prepare me for the cat times, my brain gave me a dream last night where I found a half blind kitten on the street and was torn as to whether it would be ethical for me to bring it to my current apartment where pets are not allowed. The dream didn't have a conclusion, but if I find a kitten on the street between now and closing, you better believe I'm keeping it.
"If you divide the whole world into just enemies and friends, you'll end up destroying everything" --Nausicaa of the Valley of Wind
I'm going on two dates this week lol xD I feel bad I'm talking to both of them at the same time....But I've been told that's not a bad thing since I'm still single. one is a second date and the other is a meet up date.
Edit: I'm really new to dating and I don't know if talking to two people at them same time is really appropriate or not...it's a little uncomfortable.
I would say if it's not terribly serious don't worry too much about whether it's appropriate or not, you're not committed to somebody just cause you went on a couple dates.
If and when you or the other person feels comfortable broaching the subject of dating exclusively then you can have a conversation one way or the other.
First few dates, don't even bring it up.
Getting kind of serious with one or all of the people you're dating, bring it up.
I mean I don't know that it's an absolute moral imperative, but I'd feel skeevy doing ultra-kisses with multiple people at the same time without them knowing about each other. It's a different level of intimacy. Also obviously if they bring up the fact that they'd like to be exclusive, talk to them about it.
It worked for me to be direct with everyone. Then after a couple months it kind of solidified in my mind that there was one person I really wanted to commit myself to. At that point I broke it off with the other people, then had a short conversation about it with the person I wanted to be with.
Just in general so long as you are equally infatuated with everyone you're dating, it's a fun time. Eventually infatuation will fade, and the person you like being around most will stand out. Or it will become clear that none of them are a good person for you.
Remember to preface all discussion topics with "wait did I tell you about...?" because you will totally forget if you did or not.
Both girls are totally different so I remember what I've told the both of them xD Hopefully forgetting won't happen. But there's nothing serious going on with either of them yet. I'm also still kinda nervous about getting into kissing and stuff....I haven't been talking to them long enough to get into that with them either.... >.< plus I don't know if I should kiss them first or wait for them to kiss me? But yea thanks to both of you for the advice
one of them doesn't want something serious and the other does. I know that for sure. For now I'm just getting to know them and meet them. I've met one and we had fun
I'm going on two dates this week lol xD I feel bad I'm talking to both of them at the same time....But I've been told that's not a bad thing since I'm still single. one is a second date and the other is a meet up date.
Edit: I'm really new to dating and I don't know if talking to two people at them same time is really appropriate or not...it's a little uncomfortable.
I would say if it's not terribly serious don't worry too much about whether it's appropriate or not, you're not committed to somebody just cause you went on a couple dates.
If and when you or the other person feels comfortable broaching the subject of dating exclusively then you can have a conversation one way or the other.
First few dates, don't even bring it up.
Getting kind of serious with one or all of the people you're dating, bring it up.
I mean I don't know that it's an absolute moral imperative, but I'd feel skeevy doing ultra-kisses with multiple people at the same time without them knowing about each other. It's a different level of intimacy. Also obviously if they bring up the fact that they'd like to be exclusive, talk to them about it.
It worked for me to be direct with everyone. Then after a couple months it kind of solidified in my mind that there was one person I really wanted to commit myself to. At that point I broke it off with the other people, then had a short conversation about it with the person I wanted to be with.
Just in general so long as you are equally infatuated with everyone you're dating, it's a fun time. Eventually infatuation will fade, and the person you like being around most will stand out. Or it will become clear that none of them are a good person for you.
Remember to preface all discussion topics with "wait did I tell you about...?" because you will totally forget if you did or not.
Both girls are totally different so I remember what I've told the both of them xD Hopefully forgetting won't happen. But there's nothing serious going on with either of them yet. I'm also still kinda nervous about getting into kissing and stuff....I haven't been talking to them long enough to get into that with them either.... >.< plus I don't know if I should kiss them first or wait for them to kiss me? But yea thanks to both of you for the advice
one of them doesn't want something serious and the other does. I know that for sure. For now I'm just getting to know them and meet them. I've met one and we had fun
Usually by the time you get to kissing you've probably already established some boundaries, consciously or not, and you can read a situation to see if it's ok
Worse case scenario?
"I'd like to kiss you" is a perfectly valid and clear thing to say and puts the ball in the other person's court whether they want to go forward or not.
I've given up on trying to make something happen until I have more free time.
Which should start sometime in October, at this rate. Gonna be a while.
There's always some excuse for me not to actively look.
Oh I just need to finish uni so I don't get distracted.
Now I have no money, I'll look when I find a job.
Ok I'm rich now, but I picked up ringworm from somewhere and the cream has stopped it spreading but it's not going away and who would want to date someone with a fungal infection?
etc etc
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CambiataCommander ShepardThe likes of which even GAWD has never seenRegistered Userregular
I'll start believing it when I see the signature. That is how much I distrust the seller's realtor.
The seller's realtor is handing both sides of the transaction?
No, but practically everything he's said to us has been a lie, so him telling our realtor that the owner accepted the offer could also be a lie.
I have a friend at work who was a realtor for many years and I had him looking over everything before I signed it. When I told him some of the things the owner's realtor had said, he shook his head saying how unethical it was, and that the guy should be reported.
"If you divide the whole world into just enemies and friends, you'll end up destroying everything" --Nausicaa of the Valley of Wind
I'll start believing it when I see the signature. That is how much I distrust the seller's realtor.
The seller's realtor is handing both sides of the transaction?
No, but practically everything he's said to us has been a lie, so him telling our realtor that the owner accepted the offer could also be a lie.
I have a friend at work who was a realtor for many years and I had him looking over everything before I signed it. When I told him some of the things the owner's realtor had said, he shook his head saying how unethical it was, and that the guy should be reported.
I don't quite understand. how you are talking to the seller's realtor at all? that should all be handled through your realtor.
Realtors... they can be a mixed bag.
and I wonder about my neighbors even though I don't have them
but they're listening to every word I say
I'm going on two dates this week lol xD I feel bad I'm talking to both of them at the same time....But I've been told that's not a bad thing since I'm still single. one is a second date and the other is a meet up date.
Edit: I'm really new to dating and I don't know if talking to two people at them same time is really appropriate or not...it's a little uncomfortable.
I would say if it's not terribly serious don't worry too much about whether it's appropriate or not, you're not committed to somebody just cause you went on a couple dates.
If and when you or the other person feels comfortable broaching the subject of dating exclusively then you can have a conversation one way or the other.
First few dates, don't even bring it up.
Getting kind of serious with one or all of the people you're dating, bring it up.
I mean I don't know that it's an absolute moral imperative, but I'd feel skeevy doing ultra-kisses with multiple people at the same time without them knowing about each other. It's a different level of intimacy. Also obviously if they bring up the fact that they'd like to be exclusive, talk to them about it.
It worked for me to be direct with everyone. Then after a couple months it kind of solidified in my mind that there was one person I really wanted to commit myself to. At that point I broke it off with the other people, then had a short conversation about it with the person I wanted to be with.
Just in general so long as you are equally infatuated with everyone you're dating, it's a fun time. Eventually infatuation will fade, and the person you like being around most will stand out. Or it will become clear that none of them are a good person for you.
Remember to preface all discussion topics with "wait did I tell you about...?" because you will totally forget if you did or not.
Both girls are totally different so I remember what I've told the both of them xD Hopefully forgetting won't happen. But there's nothing serious going on with either of them yet. I'm also still kinda nervous about getting into kissing and stuff....I haven't been talking to them long enough to get into that with them either.... >.< plus I don't know if I should kiss them first or wait for them to kiss me? But yea thanks to both of you for the advice
one of them doesn't want something serious and the other does. I know that for sure. For now I'm just getting to know them and meet them. I've met one and we had fun
Usually by the time you get to kissing you've probably already established some boundaries, consciously or not, and you can read a situation to see if it's ok
Worse case scenario?
"I'd like to kiss you" is a perfectly valid and clear thing to say and puts the ball in the other person's court whether they want to go forward or not.
The first time I kissed my current girlfriend I literally said "I'd like to give you a kiss goodnight"
then there was a lot of good kisses and some biting and there's been a lot of biting since! Also frequent pinching.
Never underestimate the power of just straight up telling people what you would like to do and seeing if they would also like to do it. Mostly they're going to either be excited to be asked or they'll have a sensible reason why they would not like to do that right now. Either way things are cool.
I'll start believing it when I see the signature. That is how much I distrust the seller's realtor.
The seller's realtor is handing both sides of the transaction?
No, but practically everything he's said to us has been a lie, so him telling our realtor that the owner accepted the offer could also be a lie.
I have a friend at work who was a realtor for many years and I had him looking over everything before I signed it. When I told him some of the things the owner's realtor had said, he shook his head saying how unethical it was, and that the guy should be reported.
I don't quite understand. how you are talking to the seller's realtor at all? that should all be handled through your realtor.
Realtors... they can be a mixed bag.
Initially, I was trying to go without a realtor, and I spoke to the guy directly. He told us a transparent lie the first time we met him to look at the place. He hasn't stopped lying since. I got my own realtor when I was about to sign an offer with the owner's realtor, because he tried to pull so much dishonest shit with me. But even then, my realtor told me everything the realtor was saying, like how he kept insisting he had cash offers for the full amount already, and that if we didn't get our offer in by X time then we'd be too late. Yet we kept missing his fake deadlines and he kept waiting for our offer. And then he pretty much accepted are offer, really just $600 above, even though he supposedly had higher cash offers. I suspect he had no other offers and all that about other offers was a complete front. (it was him telling us that he had a full cash offer that my ex-realtor friend said was completely unethical, that he couldn't tell us things like that and that he was probably only saying it because he was mad I got my own realtor).
"If you divide the whole world into just enemies and friends, you'll end up destroying everything" --Nausicaa of the Valley of Wind
I suspect this is probably obvious to you now, but buying a house without a realtor is almost as bad as going to court without a lawyer (in a normal house buying transaction). You need someone who has some idea of what they're doing that also has a fiduciary duty to keep your interests at heart.
I suspect this is probably obvious to you now, but buying a house without a realtor is almost as bad as going to court without a lawyer (in a normal house buying transaction). You need someone who has some idea of what they're doing that also has a fiduciary duty to keep your interests at heart.
Well... part of the problem is that realtor working for me does not, in fact, have my best interests at heart. That is to say, the higher the cost of the house, the better off my realtor is. As someone in the chat thread pointed out, it's a transaction with four people, three of whom are working for a higher price - I'm the only one who wants it lower.
Also: For some prices of house you can't get a realtor. Part of the reason I was trying to go without is that two realtors I tried dropped me because the price range of homes I was looking at was going to be below 80k. The realtor who helped me make the offer on this place was warned explicitly that I might want to offer on a place for 60k, and was she ok with that? Turns out she was. Good for her, too, because she really had to do very little work on this one. And Scumbag Steve was punished for his dishonesty by having the owner he was representing lose the cost of her commission when he might have saved it just by not being shitty.
Cambiata on
"If you divide the whole world into just enemies and friends, you'll end up destroying everything" --Nausicaa of the Valley of Wind
I'm going on two dates this week lol xD I feel bad I'm talking to both of them at the same time....But I've been told that's not a bad thing since I'm still single. one is a second date and the other is a meet up date.
Edit: I'm really new to dating and I don't know if talking to two people at them same time is really appropriate or not...it's a little uncomfortable.
I would say if it's not terribly serious don't worry too much about whether it's appropriate or not, you're not committed to somebody just cause you went on a couple dates.
If and when you or the other person feels comfortable broaching the subject of dating exclusively then you can have a conversation one way or the other.
First few dates, don't even bring it up.
Getting kind of serious with one or all of the people you're dating, bring it up.
I mean I don't know that it's an absolute moral imperative, but I'd feel skeevy doing ultra-kisses with multiple people at the same time without them knowing about each other. It's a different level of intimacy. Also obviously if they bring up the fact that they'd like to be exclusive, talk to them about it.
It worked for me to be direct with everyone. Then after a couple months it kind of solidified in my mind that there was one person I really wanted to commit myself to. At that point I broke it off with the other people, then had a short conversation about it with the person I wanted to be with.
Just in general so long as you are equally infatuated with everyone you're dating, it's a fun time. Eventually infatuation will fade, and the person you like being around most will stand out. Or it will become clear that none of them are a good person for you.
Remember to preface all discussion topics with "wait did I tell you about...?" because you will totally forget if you did or not.
Both girls are totally different so I remember what I've told the both of them xD Hopefully forgetting won't happen. But there's nothing serious going on with either of them yet. I'm also still kinda nervous about getting into kissing and stuff....I haven't been talking to them long enough to get into that with them either.... >.< plus I don't know if I should kiss them first or wait for them to kiss me? But yea thanks to both of you for the advice
one of them doesn't want something serious and the other does. I know that for sure. For now I'm just getting to know them and meet them. I've met one and we had fun
Usually by the time you get to kissing you've probably already established some boundaries, consciously or not, and you can read a situation to see if it's ok
Worse case scenario?
"I'd like to kiss you" is a perfectly valid and clear thing to say and puts the ball in the other person's court whether they want to go forward or not.
The first time I kissed my current girlfriend I literally said "I'd like to give you a kiss goodnight"
then there was a lot of good kisses and some biting and there's been a lot of biting since! Also frequent pinching.
Never underestimate the power of just straight up telling people what you would like to do and seeing if they would also like to do it. Mostly they're going to either be excited to be asked or they'll have a sensible reason why they would not like to do that right now. Either way things are cool.
Gosh I miss kissing a lot now. My last kiss was a goodbye kiss and that was almost a year ago....Kissing again will be nice hopefully lol my first kiss ever was so awful....
I suspect this is probably obvious to you now, but buying a house without a realtor is almost as bad as going to court without a lawyer (in a normal house buying transaction). You need someone who has some idea of what they're doing that also has a fiduciary duty to keep your interests at heart.
Well... part of the problem is that realtor working for me does not, in fact, have my best interests at heart. That is to say, the higher the cost of the house, the better off my realtor is. As someone in the chat thread pointed out, it's a transaction with four people, three of whom are working for a higher price - I'm the only one who wants it lower.
Also: For some prices of house you can't get a realtor. Part of the reason I was trying to go without is that two realtors I tried dropped me because the price range of homes I was looking at was going to be below 80k. The realtor who helped me make the offer on this place was warned explicitly that I might want to offer on a place for 60k, and was she ok with that? Turns out she was. Good for her, too, because she really had to do very little work on this one. And Scumbag Steve was punished for his dishonesty by having the owner he was representing lose the cost of her commission when he might have saved it just by not being shitty.
In most cases, the seller still pays both commissions even if the buyer and seller's agent are the same person, so it's even better: Steve cost himself the buyer's commission.
Posts
I dunno, the ladder theory definitely holds space plagues for all who subscribe to it.
Edit: I'm really new to dating and I don't know if talking to two people at them same time is really appropriate or not...it's a little uncomfortable.
now
it is time to panic
In the wrong direction?
I would say if it's not terribly serious don't worry too much about whether it's appropriate or not, you're not committed to somebody just cause you went on a couple dates.
If and when you or the other person feels comfortable broaching the subject of dating exclusively then you can have a conversation one way or the other.
Love don't know no boundaries.
I'm just a fucking kid, I can't legally buy a beer, how the hell am I supposed to help someone cope with suicidal thoughts? I'm positive I'm fucking it up, and I know getting her professional help was the best move but I can't help but feel like I passed her off to someone else. How do I drop a scared loved one off at a hospital and then go watch a fucking biochemistry lecture. I just want her to be better, and I pray that this will get her there, but I can't even think about what the next steps would be if this didn't help. I can't talk about this with anyone, I'm afraid I'd be betraying her trust. What if I have to break this news to her family? They shouldn't have to hear this thing from some kid who's dating their daughter.
Sorry for rambling about this
First few dates, don't even bring it up.
Getting kind of serious with one or all of the people you're dating, bring it up.
I mean I don't know that it's an absolute moral imperative, but I'd feel skeevy doing ultra-kisses with multiple people at the same time without them knowing about each other. It's a different level of intimacy. Also obviously if they bring up the fact that they'd like to be exclusive, talk to them about it.
It worked for me to be direct with everyone. Then after a couple months it kind of solidified in my mind that there was one person I really wanted to commit myself to. At that point I broke it off with the other people, then had a short conversation about it with the person I wanted to be with.
Just in general so long as you are equally infatuated with everyone you're dating, it's a fun time. Eventually infatuation will fade, and the person you like being around most will stand out. Or it will become clear that none of them are a good person for you.
Remember to preface all discussion topics with "wait did I tell you about...?" because you will totally forget if you did or not.
no, your absolutely right its more that...being in that moment where someone is telling me how bad it really is in that moment for them terrified the shit out of me. I was barely able to keep it together, and I wouldn't wish a moment like that on my worst enemy. But I feel like a shitty person for even thinking about how I felt in that situation, because it shouldn't matter
You absolutely did the best you can. There's literally not a thing you can do to effectively treat her anxiety. The best thing you can be is a source of pre-ordained sensible moves. She knows what is up, she decided to call in for counseling. You helped her do something that was a good idea, which is hard for her to do while in the grip of anxiety.
It's okay for you to be overwhelmed. You are in no way equipped to solve any of these problems. You did the best thing you could, keeping her on an even keel before passing her to people more capable than you.
Focus on what you can do more effectively than professionals now. That might not be a lot. It might just be the fact that you're able to provide hugs. It might just be continuing to do alright on your own so she can focus on what she needs to do. That's alright.
I would speak to professors and TAs in oblique terms if you feel like you legitimately can't concentrate. Speaking as a former TA, the difference between a bullshitting student and a seriously worried student is really obvious, and we're all super concerned about helping out students who are actually feeling horrible. It would also make sense to see if you can get some counseling. It is incredibly stressful to experience this, and having a non-internet person to talk with could help a lot.
Speaking as a person who's been able to drink for a while, this is never going to be something that you feel capable of handling. It's terrifying to know that someone you love has serious problems you can do next to nothing about. You're already handling it as well as people handle it. Continue doing the best you can, it is literally all that you can do.
That is an incredibly stressful situation to be in, and it is entirely valid for you to have those feelings in response to it. Just because she is doing worse at the moment does not mean your reaction to the situation is bad or wrong.
From the sounds of things you did everything you could to help her out and followed all the right steps to be a supportive boyfriend. Being overwhelmed by something so sudden and difficult is not unnatural, and you don't need to feel ashamed of feeling that way. Just keep doing your best to support her, and it will make all the difference in helping her pull through.
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I knew it, congrats!
Both girls are totally different so I remember what I've told the both of them xD Hopefully forgetting won't happen. But there's nothing serious going on with either of them yet. I'm also still kinda nervous about getting into kissing and stuff....I haven't been talking to them long enough to get into that with them either.... >.< plus I don't know if I should kiss them first or wait for them to kiss me? But yea thanks to both of you for the advice
one of them doesn't want something serious and the other does. I know that for sure. For now I'm just getting to know them and meet them. I've met one and we had fun
The seller's realtor is handing both sides of the transaction?
but they're listening to every word I say
Usually by the time you get to kissing you've probably already established some boundaries, consciously or not, and you can read a situation to see if it's ok
Worse case scenario?
"I'd like to kiss you" is a perfectly valid and clear thing to say and puts the ball in the other person's court whether they want to go forward or not.
There's always some excuse for me not to actively look.
Oh I just need to finish uni so I don't get distracted.
Now I have no money, I'll look when I find a job.
Ok I'm rich now, but I picked up ringworm from somewhere and the cream has stopped it spreading but it's not going away and who would want to date someone with a fungal infection?
etc etc
No, but practically everything he's said to us has been a lie, so him telling our realtor that the owner accepted the offer could also be a lie.
I have a friend at work who was a realtor for many years and I had him looking over everything before I signed it. When I told him some of the things the owner's realtor had said, he shook his head saying how unethical it was, and that the guy should be reported.
Hell, right now I'm still looking (albiet not as actively) and I'm planning on moving in the near future.
Because the layout is like my dream house... it just needs soooo much work. Also it's far away from everything that I need to be near. So... sigh.
I don't quite understand. how you are talking to the seller's realtor at all? that should all be handled through your realtor.
Realtors... they can be a mixed bag.
but they're listening to every word I say
Have an otter noises
The first time I kissed my current girlfriend I literally said "I'd like to give you a kiss goodnight"
then there was a lot of good kisses and some biting and there's been a lot of biting since! Also frequent pinching.
Never underestimate the power of just straight up telling people what you would like to do and seeing if they would also like to do it. Mostly they're going to either be excited to be asked or they'll have a sensible reason why they would not like to do that right now. Either way things are cool.
I'll make a Dan
out of yoooouuuu
Initially, I was trying to go without a realtor, and I spoke to the guy directly. He told us a transparent lie the first time we met him to look at the place. He hasn't stopped lying since. I got my own realtor when I was about to sign an offer with the owner's realtor, because he tried to pull so much dishonest shit with me. But even then, my realtor told me everything the realtor was saying, like how he kept insisting he had cash offers for the full amount already, and that if we didn't get our offer in by X time then we'd be too late. Yet we kept missing his fake deadlines and he kept waiting for our offer. And then he pretty much accepted are offer, really just $600 above, even though he supposedly had higher cash offers. I suspect he had no other offers and all that about other offers was a complete front. (it was him telling us that he had a full cash offer that my ex-realtor friend said was completely unethical, that he couldn't tell us things like that and that he was probably only saying it because he was mad I got my own realtor).
Well... part of the problem is that realtor working for me does not, in fact, have my best interests at heart. That is to say, the higher the cost of the house, the better off my realtor is. As someone in the chat thread pointed out, it's a transaction with four people, three of whom are working for a higher price - I'm the only one who wants it lower.
Also: For some prices of house you can't get a realtor. Part of the reason I was trying to go without is that two realtors I tried dropped me because the price range of homes I was looking at was going to be below 80k. The realtor who helped me make the offer on this place was warned explicitly that I might want to offer on a place for 60k, and was she ok with that? Turns out she was. Good for her, too, because she really had to do very little work on this one. And Scumbag Steve was punished for his dishonesty by having the owner he was representing lose the cost of her commission when he might have saved it just by not being shitty.
Gosh I miss kissing a lot now. My last kiss was a goodbye kiss and that was almost a year ago....Kissing again will be nice hopefully lol my first kiss ever was so awful....
In most cases, the seller still pays both commissions even if the buyer and seller's agent are the same person, so it's even better: Steve cost himself the buyer's commission.
But tonight I got sat down and told off by an old man for saying the word "fart" on facebook.
I feel like this is some kind of life achievement.
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oh my god you monster
Well we're just gonna have to clean your mouth out