Need some Life Advice - Depressed :(

problemlemonproblemlemon Registered User new member
I have recently been fired from a job I had just started literally a week ago. This is the second time this has happened, the first time I was hating the job and expected it but with this job I was thinking it could be good. The job hadn't started properly yet as it was a new company. I have not got a very big list of jobs I have done due to me really struggling in gaining a career due to me not having a clue what I want to do. The reason I was fired was because they said they did not like my attitude and now i am feeling really lost as to what to do with myself. I am feeling like everyone i meet seems to dislike me now and actually cant stop moaping about, I have enrolled on a college course which starts in two days but i dont know weather i can do it due to being really down about losing my job i also feel although my life is going nowhere now and im never going to hold down a job. I really need the money aswell due to me being a burden on my parents which I really dont want to do I just want a job or career i can enjoy and i can keep and doesn't pay minimum wage which is why i have attempted to go to college. feel like no job will take me on now. sorry if i am going on or not making sense my head is all over the place at the minute. I am 22 by the was and just looking for some advice , Thank you


  • EncEnc A Fool with Compassion The Land of Flowers (and Dragons)Registered User regular
    First thing is to understand that being upset and emotional about these things is entirely normal and extremely common. Getting fired is often as painful as being rejected in a relationship and it's a pretty serious emotional pain. Most of us have been there, and while I can't tell you how to get through it (that is something for you and a professional therapist to figure out together), I can say it gets easier and less frustrating with time. If you have the insurance, seek professional therapists if you can afford it. It really does help get your head on straight and everyone can use a bit of therapy now and then. I didn't think going to a therapist was something "normal" people did and just muscled through for years (which was a mistake). Years later I got some therapy after some serious family problems and man, what a difference a few sessions made. Sometimes talking with someone about these things aloud is all you need, and your therapist will generally know what to talk about to help you out. It is extremely cathartic.

    From a professional development standpoint, your expectations at this stage for entry level employment may not be realistic as most non-bachelors degree positions (and a good amount with one) are going to start at or near minimum wage for the launch-point of your career. There is nothing wrong with starting at minimum wage, in fact I would be surprised if 99% of the folk on these forums didn't work for 3-5 years at or around that when we were starting out. It's part of building your early career and there is nothing shameful about it. The opposite, I'd say. My time in the trenches of warehouse and Panera Bakery work were some of the experiences I remember the most over my career and while I do not want to go back, they did help me figure out what I wanted to do long term.

    College is always a good thing, and if you are enrolled (and given that it is late September classes have probably started) I'd say stay with it! College courses are a lot of work, but they are also a great place to meet new people and improve yourself.

    Re-workplace attitudes, that's a hard thing to figure out early on. You have to be willing to offer your employer a high-energy enthusiasm 24/7 and be positive and open without generally being opinionated. It's a hard balance to strike, and no two workplaces are the same. Flubing an early job due to personalty things is another thing we have all done at some point. You just gotta be willing to keep trying. You'll find other jobs, and you'll find your own path to success. Just stick with it, try to remain positive, and think about what you learned from this experience. What did you do right, and what did you do wrong. Take each of these jobs and events as life experience and try to grow with them over time.

    TLDR: We all have mistakes and successes over time. Typically we learn more from mistakes and most of your first few jobs will be mistakes! That's ok and expected. Keep working, keep trying, keep learning, and if things get too much try and speak with a therapist. They really do help.

    Good luck!

  • problemlemonproblemlemon Registered User new member
    Thank you , I think I may need to see a therapist as I have been feeling quite down for a while and struggle to find people to talk to about things like this which is why I have posted on the internet. again thank you for your kind comment

  • briguybriguy Registered User regular
    edited September 2015
    Hi, it's perfectly ok not to know what to do at 22 or even older. It just takes a while. I have dealt with depression for most of my life. I'll second find a therapist and/or psychiatrist for help. Depending on where you live this can likely be accomplished through social programs or your parent's insurance if your in the US and 22. If you're going to school they will most likely offer free or reduced fee mental health services.

    Working attitudes can be difficult. There is a certain façade you have to master. It's something you learn with time. Did they offer in specific criticism? Was this a public facing job?

    What are you planning on studying in school? What sounds interesting to you?

    briguy on
  • RoyceSraphimRoyceSraphim Registered User regular
    edited September 2015
    Workplace attitude, I havebeen fired for that before (edit: fired after 3 days). Part of it was poor leadership, part of it was me not knowing what to do when leadership dropped the ball and didn't provide me instructions to fill in the gaps.

    What I would eventually learn is that even if your boss is perfect or a complete idiot, there will be gaps in their orders/instructions. Fill in those gaps with easy busy work so you do not look lazy and look like you completely know what you are doing.

    I also recommend a therapist as they taught me how to properly handle my problems and not ignore them, asking the right questions of myself.

    RoyceSraphim on
  • evilthecatevilthecat Registered User regular
    I can't speak for how your situation went down but I'd just like to share something that happened to me:

    My first "proper" job ended after my 6 month trial period. A lot of accusations were laid at my feet, most of them lies, but I had nothing to say as I was completely mortified. I felt gutted. I'd always been a good worker, a quick learner; dependable. After I got over it, thought about it and was in my next job that went waaaay better, I came to the following conclusion:
    The boss of the company wasn't very hands on, he got all of his information from my then direct supervisors (one of whom hated me). The size of the company (small) meant that politics played a huge role in the every day handling of events. Said supervisor that didn't like me was a key figure. I also recently found out she was let go after she tried pushing her son through the ranks, much to everyone else's dismay (kind of irrelevant but oh so good to hear!).

    Prior to this, I had only ever had part-time jobs as I was in uni. I took away a few lessons from that:

    1) Be happy that it happened. You're young, there will be other jobs, better you learn things now than have to learn them later on in a job you might not want to lose.
    2) The world isn't a fair place. That first job I was in was minimum wage, high stress trench warfare horseshit. How and why people can find the time to play king of the hill and shove colleagues under the bus is beyond my comprehension. The point is .. do your best in any job you have, but watch your back and stand up for yourself.
    3) Most companies seem to run but not particularly well. As long as they're running, the people in charge will likely be happy.
    4) Explicitly in regards to your situation: Don't take it personally. That isn't to say you shouldn't examine your behaviour if this keeps happening (the only constant in all your relationships is you!), however as with every other relationship: If it isn't working, it isn't working. You're both better off finding something new.

  • BloodycowBloodycow Registered User regular
    Something to add, if you are taking college courses. Most colleges now a days have programs and therapists you can see that can get your through your depression for free if money or insurance is an issue.

    I can tell you first hand after working through years of undiagnosed depression and PTSD that ended with me twice trying to take my own life before I finally sought help, that everything can and will get better!

    You need to seek professional help, don't be ashamed of it either. I'm military and it can be difficult in this environment to seek help for mental issues as it's still looked down on by some, but most people will be very supportive and will help you push through this!

    Another thing that took me a long time to figure out, you need to have people in your life that you can confide in. Be it family or a couple close friends, just being able to tell them things that are on your mind or that you are struggling with can pull you out of your funk!

    Get better friend and good luck with your college course!

    " I am a warrior, so that my son may be a merchant, so that his son may be a poet.”
    ― John Quincy Adams
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