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The Grasshopper [chat]s Heavy

simonwolfsimonwolf i can feel a differencetoday, a differenceRegistered User regular
edited November 2015 in Debate and/or Discourse
fNJvELg.jpg?1

Hey, so, I know we're not really supposed to talk about it - being banned here in the United States of America and all - but: have any of you guys read 'The Grasshopper Lies Heavy', by Hawthorne Abendsen? It's a real trip!

Here's what my copy looks like - my friend snuck it in a package from Britain! Lucky it didn't get picked up, huh?

CtvkfYB.jpg

Bear with me here, I'm going to summarise the plot, but: basically, it's an alternate history novel where Germany didn't win the Second World War. A ridiculous scenario, I know! But they explain it by saying that Roosevelt survived his assassination in '33, and goes on to serve two terms. The next president does some things, like move the Pacific fleet, and that means America isn't crippled by the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbour.

Basically Britain survives and goes on to join the Soviets and together they defeat Germany! Then some crazy stuff happens, America defeats Japan and abolishes segregation, the British Empire becomes super racist and the two superpowers end up in some kind of "cold war" against each other, like Japan and Germany are in real life. I won't spoil the ending, but one side comes out on top!

Oh, but, there's this really cool part where Hitler gets tried for war crimes and gets executed! I mean, it'd be quicker than how he actually went out (syphilis, ew), but I can understand why the authorities don't want you reading it. People might get ideas, huh!

deSjEkB.jpg

So have any of you guys read it? I want to discuss the implications of what life would be like if we weren't under occupied rule.

Hold on, someone's knocking at my door, I better go get it. But start talking! I really want to know what you think about this!

simonwolf on
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Posts

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    knitdanknitdan In ur base Killin ur guysRegistered User regular
    Crap.

    “I was quick when I came in here, I’m twice as quick now”
    -Indiana Solo, runner of blades
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    RMS OceanicRMS Oceanic Registered User regular
    I'm [guy] and this is my favourite [thing] on the citadel[/meme template]

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    simonwolfsimonwolf i can feel a difference today, a differenceRegistered User regular
    Whew, just the Telekom engineer saying he needed to check my wires. I was worried I was under surveillance or something for a second there!

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    RMS OceanicRMS Oceanic Registered User regular
    simonwolf wrote: »
    Whew, just the Telekom engineer saying he needed to check my wires. I was worried I was under surveillance or something for a second there!

    Incidentally, *adjusts oversized hat* what if I told you the story of Grasshopper could be made a reality if you *fiddles with tie* came to a meeting I'm setting up?

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    simonwolfsimonwolf i can feel a difference today, a differenceRegistered User regular
    I mean, I heard they were going to make a film version, but that'd never get aired on NetzKino!

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    knitdanknitdan In ur base Killin ur guysRegistered User regular
    I think you're a spy for the British

    To prove you're really an American, tell me what's on top of Faneuil Hall.

    “I was quick when I came in here, I’m twice as quick now”
    -Indiana Solo, runner of blades
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    RMS OceanicRMS Oceanic Registered User regular
    knitdan wrote: »
    I think you're a spy for the British

    To prove you're really an American, tell me what's on top of Faneuil Hall.

    Glory for the Reich, that's what's on top of Faneuil Hall.

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    knitdanknitdan In ur base Killin ur guysRegistered User regular
    Damn, I was sure he was a spy.

    “I was quick when I came in here, I’m twice as quick now”
    -Indiana Solo, runner of blades
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    simonwolfsimonwolf i can feel a difference today, a differenceRegistered User regular
    knitdan wrote: »
    I think you're a spy for the British

    To prove you're really an American, tell me what's on top of Faneuil Hall.

    Very funny. Everyone knows the grasshopper (was that what you were going for? honestly...) was replaced by a gold Reichsadler after the war ended in '47.

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    knitdanknitdan In ur base Killin ur guysRegistered User regular
    Thank goodness the weeaboos were all rounded up and put in camps.

    “I was quick when I came in here, I’m twice as quick now”
    -Indiana Solo, runner of blades
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    simonwolfsimonwolf i can feel a difference today, a differenceRegistered User regular
    knitdan wrote: »
    Thank goodness the weeaboos were all rounded up and put in camps.

    You mean those Japanese fans of American animation? I know, right, everyone knows that Tezuka's work blew anything by that Disney guy out of the water.

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    knitdanknitdan In ur base Killin ur guysRegistered User regular
    Anyways

    I don't know if anyone else noticed the cosmic irony of my [chat] being about a song that roughly translates to "losing by a head" but I sure did

    “I was quick when I came in here, I’m twice as quick now”
    -Indiana Solo, runner of blades
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    RMS OceanicRMS Oceanic Registered User regular
    simonwolf wrote: »
    knitdan wrote: »
    Thank goodness the weeaboos were all rounded up and put in camps.

    You mean those Japanese fans of American animation? I know, right, everyone knows that Tezuka's work blew anything by that Disney guy out of the water.

    Disney had good ethics though, making sure undesirables like those sommunists or however you pronounce it didn't thrive.

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    OrganichuOrganichu poops peesRegistered User, Moderator mod
    My avg daily steps according to my phone: 10,800. My steps yesterday on a busy, pre-holiday Saturday? 18,066. The lowest I can find since I got this phone in September: 1,162.

    My steps today? 64.

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    OrganichuOrganichu poops peesRegistered User, Moderator mod
    RMS I need you to use a fork lift of some sort to turn me twice daily moving forward. I don't want bed sores.

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    Apothe0sisApothe0sis Have you ever questioned the nature of your reality? Registered User regular
    What is
    this
    Ish

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    JacobkoshJacobkosh Gamble a stamp. I can show you how to be a real man!Moderator mod
    Buncha illiterate schweinhunde in here

    I was reading The Grasshopper Lies Heavy before it was wunderbar

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    Mojo_JojoMojo_Jojo We are only now beginning to understand the full power and ramifications of sexual intercourse Registered User regular
    This teleconference is awful. Most of the team are over with the client and are merrily presenting away, but I'm on hand for technical questions. The problem is that I can't see the presentation due to their IT security screwing up webex, and I can only hear the two people sat nearest the conference phone.

    Homogeneous distribution of your varieties of amuse-gueule
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    Mojo_JojoMojo_Jojo We are only now beginning to understand the full power and ramifications of sexual intercourse Registered User regular
    Maybe I will play this to my advantage in the style of Wayne's World

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXQhdB1y674

    Homogeneous distribution of your varieties of amuse-gueule
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    override367override367 ALL minions Registered User regular
    edited November 2015
    just in case anyone's not in on the chat op they should go watch man in the high castle on amazon prime

    Im getting the feeling that this series is ramping up a mystery that's going to have no resolution though

    override367 on
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    HaphazardHaphazard Registered User regular
    Nothing like being greeted by a swastika in a new [chat].

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    knitdanknitdan In ur base Killin ur guysRegistered User regular
    A few weeks ago I received an offer in the mail to join the American Legion (veterans organization).

    I've never served in the military.

    “I was quick when I came in here, I’m twice as quick now”
    -Indiana Solo, runner of blades
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    Mojo_JojoMojo_Jojo We are only now beginning to understand the full power and ramifications of sexual intercourse Registered User regular
    Having to guess what these questions might be certainly makes them trickier.

    Homogeneous distribution of your varieties of amuse-gueule
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    simonwolfsimonwolf i can feel a difference today, a differenceRegistered User regular
    knitdan wrote: »
    A few weeks ago I received an offer in the mail to join the American Legion (veterans organization).

    I've never served in the military.

    Not in this reality

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    RMS OceanicRMS Oceanic Registered User regular
    knitdan wrote: »
    A few weeks ago I received an offer in the mail to join the American Legion (veterans organization).

    I've never served in the military.

    Maybe it's a roundabout way of getting you to enlist.

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    knitdanknitdan In ur base Killin ur guysRegistered User regular
    RMS Oceanic wrote: »
    knitdan wrote: »
    A few weeks ago I received an offer in the mail to join the American Legion (veterans organization).

    I've never served in the military.

    Maybe it's a roundabout way of getting you to enlist.

    I'm sure they really want a morbidly obese 34 year old with chronic renal failure.

    “I was quick when I came in here, I’m twice as quick now”
    -Indiana Solo, runner of blades
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    P10P10 An Idiot With Low IQ Registered User regular
    hello

    Shameful pursuits and utterly stupid opinions
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    AbdhyiusAbdhyius Registered User regular
    I wish I was able to draw really really fast because I dreamt about a city in a place that doesn't exist and it was really beautiful. I even told a dream person that when we came round a corner.

    ftOqU21.png
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    TraceTrace GNU Terry Pratchett; GNU Gus; GNU Carrie Fisher; GNU Adam We Registered User regular
    joWgneq.jpg

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    override367override367 ALL minions Registered User regular
    is canadian whiskey fermented maple syrup

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    TraceTrace GNU Terry Pratchett; GNU Gus; GNU Carrie Fisher; GNU Adam We Registered User regular
    http://imgur.com/gallery/erP3xEx

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    Mojo_JojoMojo_Jojo We are only now beginning to understand the full power and ramifications of sexual intercourse Registered User regular
    override367 wrote: »
    is canadian whiskey fermented maple syrup

    Apparently Canadian whisky has been winning awards recently.

    Homogeneous distribution of your varieties of amuse-gueule
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    JamesKeenanJamesKeenan Registered User regular
    Wait, so... in this alternate history where Hitler one, there's a banned book about an alternate history where he lost?

    I feel that takes a certain kind of chutzpah. I'll have to look into that.

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    electricitylikesmeelectricitylikesme Registered User regular
    Mojo_Jojo wrote: »
    override367 wrote: »
    is canadian whiskey fermented maple syrup

    Apparently Canadian whisky has been winning awards recently.

    Sounds like a suitable "I'm on a teleconference where no one can see me" drink.

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    JamesKeenanJamesKeenan Registered User regular
    And that Canada-Denmark thing is apparently pretty true, although the alcohol part seems to be a "sometimes" thing.

    http://satwcomic.com/epic-battle

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    override367override367 ALL minions Registered User regular
    JamesKeenan wrote: »
    Wait, so... in this alternate history where Hitler one, there's a banned book about an alternate history where he lost?

    I feel that takes a certain kind of chutzpah. I'll have to look into that.

    spoiler but not really a spoiler at all (a few minutes in)
    it's more movie floating around of footage of the allies winning the war, it's not clear where it's from, it's not fake, and the nazis have the capture and destruction of these films as priority #1

    I wouldn't even call that a spoiler since it's in every trailer and the first few minutes and the premise of the show

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    HaphazardHaphazard Registered User regular
    Mojo_Jojo wrote: »
    override367 wrote: »
    is canadian whiskey fermented maple syrup

    Apparently Canadian whisky has been winning awards recently.

    So has Japanese.

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    HaphazardHaphazard Registered User regular
    edited November 2015
    Which has to be said twice, apparently?

    Haphazard on
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    PLAPLA The process.Registered User regular
    So has Japanese.

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    OrganichuOrganichu poops peesRegistered User, Moderator mod
    edited November 2015
    maybe i should read this thing. as alt history goes, i do remember enjoying harry turtledove when i was a teenager. then i saw a picture of him and i was like THIS IS THE GUY WHOSE BLOWJOB SCENE I JERKED OFF TO IN THAT SERIES ABOUT ALIENS INVADING DURING WORLD WAR 2!?

    Organichu on
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Penny Arcade Forums› Debate and/or Discourse