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Working on a cartoon series

mrfuriousmcmrfuriousmc Registered User regular
It's called We Are Fictional. I only have a couple minutes done so far, but the plan is to create a 45 minute pilot episode. Comments welcome.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=adfX0MpGXfM&feature=youtu.be

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    IrukaIruka Registered User, Moderator mod
    This seems like a drive by posting, so if you don't respond this is getting trashcanned.

    Is this a work in progress that you intend to incorporate feedback in? With youtube videos and animation you have to work a little harder to give us something to critique. This is primarily a visual art forum, so if you want critiques on something like this, You'll need to really put some stuff in the thread we can comment on, models, screen shots, sketches.

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    mrfuriousmcmrfuriousmc Registered User regular
    edited February 2016
    Not a drive by posting at all. This is the medium in which I am expressing my art form. Yes, it's a work in progress and I will continue to post images of the characters/environments. Thanks!

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    mrfuriousmcmrfuriousmc Registered User regular
    edited February 2016
    Here are some of the characters and scenes I'm working on:

    a4detbe2ie66.jpg
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    IrukaIruka Registered User, Moderator mod
    Thanks. Generally we've had poor luck with youtubers dropping in videos for views and not engaging otherwise, I'm happy to have people looking for feedback!

    To comment on the work itself. The animation isn't all that bad, but everything is moving in way too measured of a fashion. Some of your slower transitions have that sort of "wading through water" effect, where they are just slowly moving to another point. For instance, the throw of the controller has a bunch of consideration in the posing, by contrast, the movement of the other guy on the couch moves through a series of poses all on the same beat with no acting or animation really in his hands.

    This is an old animation it floated around the year I was graduating. I remembered that its a good one for talking about good animation in slow moments:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lc-vINJmhNk

    Because so many of the beats are slow. the pacing is really important, the way his hands slowly loosens when hes letting go of the phone anticipates him dropping it in a few quick beats. same with the gun. Its acting and timing even in the slow small moments that end up making this whole animation work.

    The eyes look better in your promo image there, the extra gloss and texture on them is really jarring and unappealing, so is the lack of eyelashes or eyebrows. Without either, the whites of their eyes don't have any means to contrast with their skin, which makes it generally harder to read their emotions.

    The lighting is weak, but unfortunately I have no technical ability in that area to give you pointers in 3D. Everything looks a bit to harsh and seems to be in plain white light. Some softer lights and better rendering are going to help a lot.

    Otherwise? Its a weird tone, but I'm not really sure that you are going for funny, so I'm not sure how to judge it, necessarily.

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    mrfuriousmcmrfuriousmc Registered User regular
    Thank you for taking the time to give me some feedback.

    I agree with you on the eye textures. I should probably keep the eyes consistent with the overall style of the characters. My reasoning for the solid colors was to avoid long render times.

    The point to point animation is certainly noticeable, and deserves more attention. Thanks for pointing that out. Sometimes I get lazy because I want to rush a scene and move on to the next one. I appreciate the reference video.

    Nothing has really happened yet in terms of plot, but another 5 minutes into the episode and it will be clear what tone I'm going for. :twisted:

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    IrukaIruka Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited February 2016
    Looking forward to seeing what you put out.

    Generally, I think animation falls under the same rules as webcomics, You can have a really funny/excellently written comic that looks ugly, or you can have a really beautiful comic that has a meh plot, but you cant have an ugly comic with a shitty plot.

    Animation follows that logic in a sort of similar way, You can have really weird/ugly characters and an off beat writing style, but if your animation is beautiful, people will still engage. That's how so many shorts get away with having such reduced, ambient stories. If you want your animation to work on the bare minimum, make sure the movement is excellent.

    I also would work on your lighting, if possible. Maybe there are some tutorials out there to help. I think of how lighting is used in pixilpit's videos:
    The characters are simple, the animation is weird and stylized to be choppy, but the lighting is incredibly pleasant. And that's not to say you need to go for soft looking day time scenes, you need to use lighting to your advantage and study how use it to push your compositions. Here's something quick and dirty:
    ortv8nehiusy.jpg

    Blurred out the background just a tad to bring the characters into focus, muted the colors back there to a blue tint, unifying them, and warmed the tones in the characters so everything isn't so grey and bland. I also added that little bit of eyelash to give the character eyes a lot more contrast. You could tone that down or do it another way, but you need some sort of eyelid indicator so your characters don't look like skulls with eyeballs popped in.

    Iruka on
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    mrfuriousmcmrfuriousmc Registered User regular
    You are so right on this. I'm going to go back and fine tune all the characters to make them more presentable. And yes, the lighting is very important to get right and I haven't put much attention into that area.

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    mrfuriousmcmrfuriousmc Registered User regular
    edited February 2016
    Need to start adding textures. Start with the hat.
    7iykk7kc6ocy.jpg

    mrfuriousmc on
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    mrfuriousmcmrfuriousmc Registered User regular
    edited February 2016
    Need to paint textures on the face.
    39moilqip642.jpg

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    mrfuriousmcmrfuriousmc Registered User regular
    edited February 2016
    At first, I used photos of myself to paint the face. It looks creepy though... and not in a good way.
    dmhnj0a6y6i4.jpg

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    mrfuriousmcmrfuriousmc Registered User regular
    edited February 2016
    Just gave our character, Mr. Furious some textures I created using stencils in Mudbox. This is a better solution to the realistic photographs. Also gave him some better looking eye brows. Next I need to come up with a good solution for eye lids and eye lashes.

    nvfr6g09rq48.jpg



    mrfuriousmc on
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    mrfuriousmcmrfuriousmc Registered User regular
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    IrukaIruka Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited February 2016
    The hair is too much. Simplify the texture. Either go back to solid shapes and add just a touch of texture to it, or something.

    Dont just texture your stuff to texture it, though. You can get some really beautiful stuff without a bunch of unnecessary realism. Examples:
    https://www.artstation.com/artwork/X1Gmw
    https://www.artstation.com/artwork/P4OEB
    https://www.artstation.com/artwork/YP93P
    https://www.artstation.com/artwork/o0yRw

    You probably want to curve your eyelids more, they would be coming down to tear ducts. I would also seriously consider reducing the tesxture there still.
    (this is like two minutes of painting, I just wanted to show you visually about what I meant. The above links are mush better examples)
    gkt6ypnwja90.jpg

    You basically have such a realistic texture it sort of calls into question all the stylization around it, and then the fact that the reflection is just thrown on top of the texture makes the whole thing flat. If you are looking for those like, pixar-esque eyes, Remember that those are actually modeled: https://en.wikibooks.org/wiki/Blender_3D:_Noob_to_Pro/Creating_Pixar-looking_eyes_in_Blender


    Iruka on
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    mrfuriousmcmrfuriousmc Registered User regular
    Okay, here is the latest render. I will curve the eye more, good idea.

    x9kjmu1c3dzi.jpg

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    mrfuriousmcmrfuriousmc Registered User regular
    I think I'm pretty happy with these eyes.

    mysfgmvvh7hs.jpg

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    EncEnc A Fool with Compassion Pronouns: He, Him, HisRegistered User regular
    He's gotten a lot more detailed, but also a lot more busy.

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    mrfuriousmcmrfuriousmc Registered User regular
    Yes, I like the freckles, but the hair could use less texture.

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    mrfuriousmcmrfuriousmc Registered User regular
    edited February 2016
    Toned down the eye brows and got the eyes to look pretty decent. 11 second render here with default scanline.

    mn9m2ur2t2jv.jpg
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    mrfuriousmcmrfuriousmc Registered User regular
    edited February 2016
    Working on eye lashes and shaping the eyes.

    640hsb9fuh90.jpg

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    IrukaIruka Registered User, Moderator mod
    I gotta say dude, That is some really rapid implementation of feedback. Really solid improvements, there.

    Keep looking at animation and asking yourself where you are being lazy, and don't settle. If you aren't, I would be lurking art station and just looking at a ton of 3D animation to get ideas. Like a tooooooon. You want to really know what's out there. That's how you are going to figure out what you could be doing with your own work, and generally the more influences you have, the more likely it is you'll find something unique to your own visual style.

    Looking forward to seeing more, though, keep it up!

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    mrfuriousmcmrfuriousmc Registered User regular
    Sometimes it takes someone pointing things out for me to get it. Then I'm off and running. :D Thanks for the compliments.

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    mrfuriousmcmrfuriousmc Registered User regular
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    mrfuriousmcmrfuriousmc Registered User regular
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    mrfuriousmcmrfuriousmc Registered User regular
    Working on Donald Trump.

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    m3nacem3nace Registered User regular
    There's something about your style that is very befitting of Donald Trump. Kinda has the feeling of spraytan and shopping malls. The kind of eeriness you'd find in the works of Jeff Koons or Harmony Korine. Not sure if it's intended or not, but it's definitely interesting and creeps me the fuck out.

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    SublimusSublimus Artist. nowhereRegistered User regular
    I would be interested to see what sort of style you're shooting for. Or like your influences. Your main character I would say is not exactly being refined so much as redesigned again and again.

    He's getting more and more realistic, which is totally fine. In my opinion, it looks like you're actually learning a ton and making more and more realistic looking models as your skill level increases.

    So at this point, you might actually benefit more from technical advice rather than artistic feedback on your character. (Which I can not supply, sorry :P )

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    mrfuriousmcmrfuriousmc Registered User regular
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