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Eurovision 2016 - finals are today, come one and come

Indie WinterIndie Winter die KräheRudi Hurzlmeier (German, b. 1952)Registered User regular
edited May 2016 in Social Entropy++
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A little bit about what this circus actually is: the Eurovision Song Contest is a song competition held annually by the European Broadcasting Union, a union of European public service broadcasters. Each member country is eligible to enter one song to be performed live on television and radio. Generally these songs are considered to be of questionable quality or they're songs which would work in no other context.

It includes, but is not limited to:

HISTORY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xeXG9-wyzw0

SPECTACULAR, TOUCHING BALLADS
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SaolVEJEjV4

HAMSTER WHEELS
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slHboKF9PIQ

INCREDIBLY UNSUBTLE SEXUAL INNUENDO
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJ920cN2HmA



Map of all participating countries (with the nations in yellow not returning this year):

680px-ESC_2016_Map.svg.png

songs and nations in the first semi-final, 10 May
01 Finland - Sandhja - "Sing It Away"
02 Greece - Argo - "Utopian Land"
03 Moldova - Lidia Isac - "Falling Stars"
04 Hungary - Freddie - "Pioneer"
05 Croatia - Nina Kraljić - "Lighthouse"
06 Netherlands - Douwe Bob - "Slow Down"
07 Armenia - Iveta Mukuchyan - "LoveWave"
08 San Marino - Serhat - "I Didn't Know"
09 Russia - Sergey Lazarev - "You Are the Only One"
10 Czech Republic - Gabriela Gunčíková - "I Stand"
11 Cyprus - Minus One - "Alter Ego"
12 Austria - Zoë - "Loin d'ici"
13 Estonia - Jüri Pootsmann - "Play"
14 Azerbaijan - Samra - "Miracle"
15 Montenegro - Highway - "The Real Thing"
16 Iceland - Greta Salóme - "Hear Them Calling"
17 Bosnia and Herzegovina - Dalal & Deen feat. Ana Rucner and Jala - "Ljubav je"
18 Malta - Ira Losco - "Walk on Water"

Participants in the second semi-final, 12 May
01 Latvia - Justs - "Heartbeat"
02 Poland - Michał Szpak - "Color of Your Life"
03 Switzerland - Rykka - "The Last of Our Kind"
04 Israel - Hovi Star - "Made of Stars"
05 Belarus - Ivan - "Help You Fly"
06 Serbia - Sanja Vučić ZAA - "Goodbye (Shelter)"
07 Ireland - Nicky Byrne - "Sunlight"
08 Macedonia - Kaliopi - "Dona" (Дона)
09 Lithuania - Donny Montell - "I've Been Waiting for This Night"
10 Australia - Dami Im - "Sound of Silence"
11 Slovenia - ManuElla - "Blue and Red"
12 Bulgaria - Poli Genova - "If Love Was a Crime"
13 Denmark - Lighthouse X - "Soldiers of Love"
14 Ukraine - Tatar Jamala - "1944"
15 Norway - Agnete - "Icebreaker"
16 Georgia - Nika Kocharov & Young Georgian Lolitaz - "Midnight Gold"
17 Albania - Eneda Tarifa - "Fairytale"
18 Belgium - Laura Tesoro - "What's the Pressure"

Countries which already qualified for the final because they're either rich or the winner of the previous year, 14 May
Sweden - Frans - "If I Were Sorry"
France - Amir - "J'ai cherché"
Germany - Jamie-Lee - "Ghost"
Italy - Francesca Michielin - "No Degree of Separation"
Spain - Barei - "Say Yay!"
United Kingdom - Joe & Jake - "You're Not Alone"

ALSO:

Justin Timberlake makes world premiere live performance in the Eurovision Song Contest
For the first time in the history of the Eurovision Song Contest, a non-contestant Global Superstar, Justin Timberlake, will enter the Eurovision stage in Stockholm. He will perform the #1 single, CAN’T STOP THE FEELING!

c9f4477ffcc1ac35878af3a537cd6f41e0f5a622-1462802335-5730979f-620x348.jpg

Get excited! Talk about how embarrassing your country's pick this year is! Watch from some strange foreign local (we know you're there, americans) and mock the whole thing! Post videos about songs you liked from yesteryears! And most importantly: remember that Cezar was robbed, ROBBED I SAY, in the 2013 eurovision. I mean, LOOK AT HIM:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OV3xp5ZXSYA

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Indie Winter on
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  • Options
    WotanAnubisWotanAnubis Registered User regular
    I'm happy Australia is back.

    I thought the whole "Australia gets to join in this one time" line I kept hearing last year was kind of unfair.

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    Crimson KingCrimson King Registered User regular
    letting in countries that aren't even in the same hemisphere as europe sets a dangerous precedent imo

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    WotanAnubisWotanAnubis Registered User regular
    letting in countries that aren't even in the same hemisphere as europe sets a dangerous precedent imo

    Well, my view is that, since the Netherlands aren't going to win anyway, letting in more competitors isn't going to make much of a difference. The more outrageous acts, the better, really.

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    LalaboxLalabox Registered User regular
    letting in countries that aren't even in the same hemisphere as europe sets a dangerous precedent imo

    Well, my view is that, since the Netherlands aren't going to win anyway, letting in more competitors isn't going to make much of a difference. The more outrageous acts, the better, really.

    Australia's entry last year was pretty tepid, tho

    I'm not sure we really justified ourselves

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    ButlerButler 89 episodes or bust Registered User regular
    Motherfuckers best get educated about Dami Im

    sings like a goddamn beast she does (a musical beast)

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    Bad-BeatBad-Beat Registered User regular
    There was a distinct lack of highly suggestive butter churning last year. I hope the organisers have seen fit to rectify that this year otherwise I shan't be watching.

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    PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    Wow, you beat me

    That means I don't have to gather all the Youtube links though, good job!

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    Panda4YouPanda4You Registered User regular
    I'm already missing that finnish punk crew. :( What can come close to them this year?

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    ButlerButler 89 episodes or bust Registered User regular
    for real though how fast do you think World War Three would kick off if Australia won

    we talking hours here, minutes, what

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    PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    I studied under one of the leading scholars in the field of colonialism in Europe and once described European colonies of settlement like Australia as "the other Europe"

    So it's all fine

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    Indie WinterIndie Winter die Krähe Rudi Hurzlmeier (German, b. 1952)Registered User regular
    give it a decade or so, I am almost positive Canada will join in on the party

    wY6K6Jb.gif
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    Bad-BeatBad-Beat Registered User regular
    UK just laying the groundwork for a Commonwealthvision should the LEAVE vote win the referendum.

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    KochikensKochikens Registered User regular
    edited April 2016
    Kochikens on
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    VeldrinVeldrin Sham bam bamina Registered User regular
    edited April 2016
    Everyone knows we're the cooler drunker younger cousin of the UK, so it was only a matter of time before we started getting invited to Europe's house parties on the regular.

    Veldrin on
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    LiiyaLiiya Registered User regular
    Our song is very meh this year.

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    LiiyaLiiya Registered User regular
    How had the Russian grannies and their rotating oven not been posted?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgUstrmJzyc

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    honoverehonovere Registered User regular
    Liiya wrote: »
    Our song is very meh this year.

    https://youtu.be/6yt4YWOiUZI

    Sorry

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    ProhassProhass Registered User regular
    Colonialism was really just about getting more people into Eurovision. Those continentals play the long game

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    LiiyaLiiya Registered User regular
    honovere wrote: »
    Liiya wrote: »
    Our song is very meh this year.

    https://youtu.be/6yt4YWOiUZI

    Sorry

    But its true!! We're only allowed in because we pay money to play with the cool kids.

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    LalaboxLalabox Registered User regular
    Australia was pretty good

    but it was nothing special.

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    honoverehonovere Registered User regular
    Liiya wrote: »
    honovere wrote: »
    Liiya wrote: »
    Our song is very meh this year.

    https://youtu.be/6yt4YWOiUZI

    Sorry

    But its true!! We're only allowed in because we pay money to play with the cool kids.

    Germany had a short time at the end of the 90s, beggining of the 00s where its acts embraced the silliness of the whole thing but since then has sadly regressed to thinking it is a serious contest.

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    WeedLordVegetaWeedLordVegeta Registered User regular
    Nicky fuckin byrne

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    PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    Kochikens wrote: »

    That's so cool but it's a bit weird that they would call it "Eurovision Asia" instead of... well, something like "Asiavision"

    Eurasiavision

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    DaMoonRulzDaMoonRulz Mare ImbriumRegistered User regular
    Can we cut to the chase and have Worldvision already? Maybe make it part of the Olympics

    3basnids3lf9.jpg




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    LiiyaLiiya Registered User regular
    You can't sit with us!

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    theSquidtheSquid Sydney, AustraliaRegistered User regular
    Kochikens wrote: »

    That's so cool but it's a bit weird that they would call it "Eurovision Asia" instead of... well, something like "Asiavision"

    Eurasiavision

    Bollywood vs K-pop?

    They're going to turn whatever Australian city is hosting that into a smoking crater.

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    Indie WinterIndie Winter die Krähe Rudi Hurzlmeier (German, b. 1952)Registered User regular
    Kochikens wrote: »

    I did know about this

    does it say that Australia will leave Eurovision The First when it starts Asiavision though

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    theSquidtheSquid Sydney, AustraliaRegistered User regular
    Also why no glam metal eurovision winners in here

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAh9NRGNhUU

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    NorgothNorgoth cardiffRegistered User regular
    Nothing makes me more proud to be British than our proud tradition of the official British voice over (of something we partially pay for!) literally heckling the acts.

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    Mojo_JojoMojo_Jojo We are only now beginning to understand the full power and ramifications of sexual intercourse Registered User regular
    I thought Australia had been excluded for not giving the UK much needed pity votes

    Homogeneous distribution of your varieties of amuse-gueule
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    YaYaYaYa Decent. Registered User regular
    DaMoonRulz wrote: »
    Can we cut to the chase and have Worldvision already? Maybe make it part of the Olympics

    America needs to be forbidden from tainting Eurovision

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    WotanAnubisWotanAnubis Registered User regular
    honovere wrote: »
    Liiya wrote: »
    honovere wrote: »
    Liiya wrote: »
    Our song is very meh this year.

    https://youtu.be/6yt4YWOiUZI

    Sorry

    But its true!! We're only allowed in because we pay money to play with the cool kids.

    Germany had a short time at the end of the 90s, beggining of the 00s where its acts embraced the silliness of the whole thing but since then has sadly regressed to thinking it is a serious contest.

    I'm not very versed in Eurovision history, but when the Netherlands didn't take this whole thing seriously, we almost never made it through the qualifying rounds. Then someone finally decided to actually put at least a bit of effort in something besides a cringe-worthy costume a couple years back and we did not do as terribly as before.

    From this, I think we can all learn that a proper Eurovision entry has to consider its silliness seriously.

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    StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    YaYa wrote: »
    DaMoonRulz wrote: »
    Can we cut to the chase and have Worldvision already? Maybe make it part of the Olympics

    America needs to be forbidden from tainting Eurovision

    I want America to get our own terrible one

    Every state gets a song

    It would be utterly monstrous

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    PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    USvision would probably be aggressively mediocre

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    dporowskidporowski Registered User regular
    Straightzi wrote: »
    YaYa wrote: »
    DaMoonRulz wrote: »
    Can we cut to the chase and have Worldvision already? Maybe make it part of the Olympics

    America needs to be forbidden from tainting Eurovision

    I want America to get our own terrible one

    Every state gets a song

    It would be utterly monstrous

    We did, they just cancelled it.

    What else was "American Idol"?

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    ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    HOW COME CANADA CAN'T PARTICIPATE WHEN AUSTRALIA GETS TO

    SEND CARLY RAE JEPSEN TO EUROVISION

    BRING HOME THE GOLD

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    StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    dporowski wrote: »
    Straightzi wrote: »
    YaYa wrote: »
    DaMoonRulz wrote: »
    Can we cut to the chase and have Worldvision already? Maybe make it part of the Olympics

    America needs to be forbidden from tainting Eurovision

    I want America to get our own terrible one

    Every state gets a song

    It would be utterly monstrous

    We did, they just cancelled it.

    What else was "American Idol"?

    Something else entirely?

    Like, unless things went really weird in the later seasons, American Idol didn't have exactly one contestant from each state doing a single song the entire contest

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    Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver You don't have to attend every argument you are invited to. Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    YaYa wrote: »
    DaMoonRulz wrote: »
    Can we cut to the chase and have Worldvision already? Maybe make it part of the Olympics

    America needs to be forbidden from tainting Eurovision

    There are more countries that 'America' in the world, Yaya.

    Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
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    dporowskidporowski Registered User regular
    Straightzi wrote: »
    dporowski wrote: »
    Straightzi wrote: »
    YaYa wrote: »
    DaMoonRulz wrote: »
    Can we cut to the chase and have Worldvision already? Maybe make it part of the Olympics

    America needs to be forbidden from tainting Eurovision

    I want America to get our own terrible one

    Every state gets a song

    It would be utterly monstrous

    We did, they just cancelled it.

    What else was "American Idol"?

    Something else entirely?

    Like, unless things went really weird in the later seasons, American Idol didn't have exactly one contestant from each state doing a single song the entire contest

    Like many things American that are versions of those overseas, we saw it done, then did it wrong. Clearly.

  • Options
    StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    dporowski wrote: »
    Straightzi wrote: »
    dporowski wrote: »
    Straightzi wrote: »
    YaYa wrote: »
    DaMoonRulz wrote: »
    Can we cut to the chase and have Worldvision already? Maybe make it part of the Olympics

    America needs to be forbidden from tainting Eurovision

    I want America to get our own terrible one

    Every state gets a song

    It would be utterly monstrous

    We did, they just cancelled it.

    What else was "American Idol"?

    Something else entirely?

    Like, unless things went really weird in the later seasons, American Idol didn't have exactly one contestant from each state doing a single song the entire contest

    Like many things American that are versions of those overseas, we saw it done, then did it wrong. Clearly.

    This is true

    But Eurovision wasn't the inspiration for American Idol

    Pop Idol was

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