So what's the deal with Wedding Gifts?
So one of my friends from work is getting married in October and I've been invited to come.
The thing is... I've never been to a wedding. I've been to more funerals than I have years on this Earth, but never a wedding. So I know there is a thing about wedding gifts and I want to get her and her husband to be one but I'm not sure what you give people? So what makes a good wedding gift? Something useful, something creative, or something just pretty? I'm out of my element here (as I am in most social situations!)
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I think they tend to be a more popular option for couples who already live together and really don't need any more stuff.
the general idea behind wedding gifts is that these people are combining lives and growing a household, and need a bunch of stuff. Unless you know them very well and can get something you know will be personally meaningful, don't try to get creative with it. What couples don't want is a big pile of 'creative' gifts that they don't have anything to do with
Pluto was a planet and I'll never forget
For the last couple, I've been to the wife and I have given Target gift cards as everyone (that we know at least) shops there.
It may seem impersonal to buy something off of a list, but remember that they have put a lot of thought into the list and don't want 6 gravy boats or a super special antique wooden salad bowl and tongs.
Also, unless they are rich. Strait up cash is even better as they are going to have a lot of new expenses to cover as a young married couple.
Basically, we're really looking for things for having our own place (we're looking at buying a house once we get through the wedding gauntlet), and we both have a good bit of stuff that we will be going through once we do have our own place. So unless you really know what we like or something we could actually use, getting something off-registry winds up being "one more thing we need to store".
Easy peasy. If you try and over-complicate it you run a big risk of getting them something they don't need or want. The only exception I think would be is if you want to make or give them something incredibly personal that only you can make or give. Even then, I'd tend to err on the side of "just get something off the registry." When you get married, you create a registry because it's a really easy way to say, "here's the shit we need, thanks!"
I would ask. The couple has so much other stuff going on, a simple question can clear things up and it's one less thing they need to worry about. Cash becomes a perfect thing for the Honeymoon or anything else they want.
Of course, I'm a terrible person, so there's that, but also people often put a bunch of more "fluff" things on their registry, when really they need to be able to toast their bread.
You're not a terrible person for doing this thing, because you're getting them something they'll use. And you put thought into what they need.
Now, if you got the thing, opened it and affixed an engraved plate to it saying "You're welcome. ~Schuss" right next to the power switch or something and then reboxed and wrapped it before gifting it, then maybe you edge up the terrible scale, but only by a handful of miliHitlers at most.
But really, they should have a registry and if they don't then everyone loves cash.
:razz:
Now I'm upset because my best friend already got married, or this would have been a perfect idea for my gift.
Also, OP, google the bride and/or groom's name with "wedding" to see if they've got a wedding website (all the kids these days, etc.), that'll get you to the registry if they have one, or give any specific information they may have about gifts (sometimes people just ask that the guests donate to charity or something).
Just don't be the kind of person who registers for your housewarming party.
Also - around that plaque - I really should have done that.
We decided on an Amazon registry, mainly because it makes it easier for guests to buy things.
It also makes returning easy.
We did about 50/50 Amazon vs other places and I really wish we'd gone 100% Amazon. Yeah the couple of days we spent getting drunk at Pottery Barn or whatever were kind of fun? I guess? But mostly I kept thinking "This is cheaper online."
We ended up retuning a ton of the non-Amazon stuff anyway.
Wait...getting trashed in PB is only for new couples? Boy, am I embarrassed now.
Sweet Merciful Christ, yes. As someone who got married 8 months ago, cash. Cash is king.
Pith helmet for her, body armor for him.
(someone needed to meet the "terrible advice from the internet" quota)
A cash-gift to me says that they understand the financial burden of putting on a wedding and would like to directly help that part of their lives. Don't think it's impersonal to give cash, it's a knowing nod-and-wink between yourself and the newlyweds.
He's Navy so I doubt he's getting off the boat.
My wife likes to make very time intensive handcrafts such as blankets or shawls. They show a great deal of care and concern along with the added benefit of not being returnable for cash. It pisses off brides and wins over mothers and grandmothers forever.
In other words, don't listen to me.
It's the little things. My best man gave us a $25 giftcard for Waffle House. After the reception, my new wife and I went up to our honeymoon suite, and you know what we did?
...we got changed and went to Waffle House and tore. It. Up.