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[Love] is love is love is love

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Posts

  • OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    Rainfall wrote: »
    Rainfall wrote: »
    azith28 wrote: »
    So, tell me whats wrong with this as an introduction on an online dating site.

    Hello <x>,

    My name is <Y>, and I have enjoyed learning about you from your profile. I'm a __ year old SWM, originally from ____, but have lived here in ____ for ____ years. I think we have some things in common and I would like to talk with you and see what other interests we share. <insert a few things about points of interest that we share>. I work in the _____ field, have no children, and have never been married. I'm looking to start a friendship, and hopefully something more later on. Not looking for a FWB or purely physical encounter, but a potential LTR.

    Hope to hear back from you,
    <Y>


    Cause I'm having like zero luck getting responses, and while the above may be a little simplistic, I'm just trying to see if someone wants to return my interest before composing a multi page pamphlet. Can't see whats wrong with the approach..

    Because it sounds like a job application. Be more casual.

    But not too casual, or you end up with something like "help hotass I let me get stepped on in a non-intimate way..."

    Yeah more something like: "Hey, I'm Azith, how's it going? You are pretty and we share a bunch of interests, would you like to chat over coffee this weekend?"

    A wall of text stating your history, occupation, and long term intentions feels distinctly unnatural and robotic. It's nice info to know, but people want to learn that organically.

    The, like, two times I've messaged someone, I tried to make my greeting specifically involve something from their profile. If nothing else it proves I'm not just shotgunning messages and tries to establish a common point of discussion.

    cdci44qazyo3.gif

  • KarlKarl Registered User regular
    home alone and half a bottle of New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc later

    Do i start drinking whiskey and send photos of my nipples to my girlfriend?

  • AngelinaAngelina Registered User regular
    Spoilered because of mental illness stuff (not mine), and not really love related.
    I think I've posted before about the guy I've had to report to the police because of the weedkiller on bread thing. He's suffering from schizophrenia probably, he's paranoid and hearing bad messages constantly. He's also desperate for sex, and very open about this. Well after I reported him to the police a couple of weeks ago, they visited him and have made him go to the doctor or he'll be arrested/sectioned. He recorded that visit to the doctor, and I'm currently listening to it. I'm currently at a community mental health placement that deals with schizophrenia mainly, and this video is the scariest thing I've dealt with. I guess mostly I've seen people who are stable and have dealt with their condition for a long time, this guy is non compliant with his medication so the voices are in control. They talk about him being reported and god I'm so glad he doesn't know it's been me both times.

    I have an oreo ice cream stick to eat! I hope it survived last night!

  • Sir FabulousSir Fabulous Malevolent Squid God Registered User regular
    Send photos of the whiskey instead imo.

    pickup-sig.php?name=Orthanc

    Switch Friend Code: SW-1406-1275-7906
  • StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    Here we go, here are the five most recent first OkC messages that got responses for me:
    - What's your favorite indie horror film?
    - What sort of working with cats and dogs do you do? I'm assuming we're talking literal cats and dogs here, which may be folly on my part.
    - Hi, I'm Greg. What sort of carpentry do you do? Is it like, houses, or something else? I wouldn't think there's a lot of call for ship carpenters in the Midwest (or probably the twenty first century), but I'm also pretty sure I don't know a whole lot about carpentry in general.
    - Hey there. What is your preferred whiskey for imbibing? Also what is your favorite for sterilizing wounds?
    - Out of curiosity, why prison psychology? What differentiates that from a more traditional psychological practice for you?

    In case it's not immediately obvious, those are all based off of things on their profiles. There's a pretty distinct spread there for like, how long my first messages usually are (they occasionally go a little bit longer, but that's pretty much it). I also don't talk about myself much - that will come, don't worry. Let them ask you questions and determine their priority of what they want to know. This is also useful for you, for the record - if the first thing someone talks to you about is your job, or your favorite book, or whatever, then you have an idea of where their priorities lie.

  • KwoaruKwoaru Confident Smirk Flawless Golden PecsRegistered User regular
    edited May 2016
    azith28 wrote: »
    So, tell me whats wrong with this as an introduction on an online dating site.

    Hello <x>,

    My name is <Y>, and I have enjoyed learning about you from your profile. I'm a __ year old SWM, originally from ____, but have lived here in ____ for ____ years. I think we have some things in common and I would like to talk with you and see what other interests we share. <insert a few things about points of interest that we share>. I work in the _____ field, have no children, and have never been married. I'm looking to start a friendship, and hopefully something more later on. Not looking for a FWB or purely physical encounter, but a potential LTR.

    Hope to hear back from you,
    <Y>


    Cause I'm having like zero luck getting responses, and while the above may be a little simplistic, I'm just trying to see if someone wants to return my interest before composing a multi page pamphlet. Can't see whats wrong with the approach..

    This is formal as heck man

    I think you should probably cut the bolded stuff because on a dating site those things will either be readily apparent in your profile or not matter until you've talked a bit first

    Then I'd probably reword a lot of the rest to make it sound less stiff/formal? Like, you don't need to say you read her profile because you'll show it by talking about the things you read that you found interesting ("oh you're from [wherever]? I love visiting there!" or something) and instead of saying that you have things in common and listing them just talk about them ("I love volleyball too but I haven't played in forever, is there a good place to play in the area?")

    There's nothing really wrong with a basic formula for sending a message but what you have here is bordering on a dating application rather than a friendly hello, I think it would be better if it was a little looser

    Kwoaru on
    2x39jD4.jpg
  • StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    That's OkCupid, of course. I'm actually much more active on Tinder these days, and those messages have some distinct differences in terms of style - there are way less jumping off points, and the medium as a whole is much better for short conversations. I can do those too if anyone's interested though, I ain't got nothin' to hide.

  • bowtiedsealbowtiedseal Registered User regular
    Rainfall wrote: »
    Rainfall wrote: »
    azith28 wrote: »
    So, tell me whats wrong with this as an introduction on an online dating site.

    Hello <x>,

    My name is <Y>, and I have enjoyed learning about you from your profile. I'm a __ year old SWM, originally from ____, but have lived here in ____ for ____ years. I think we have some things in common and I would like to talk with you and see what other interests we share. <insert a few things about points of interest that we share>. I work in the _____ field, have no children, and have never been married. I'm looking to start a friendship, and hopefully something more later on. Not looking for a FWB or purely physical encounter, but a potential LTR.

    Hope to hear back from you,
    <Y>


    Cause I'm having like zero luck getting responses, and while the above may be a little simplistic, I'm just trying to see if someone wants to return my interest before composing a multi page pamphlet. Can't see whats wrong with the approach..

    Because it sounds like a job application. Be more casual.

    But not too casual, or you end up with something like "help hotass I let me get stepped on in a non-intimate way..."

    Yeah more something like: "Hey, I'm Azith, how's it going? You are pretty and we share a bunch of interests, would you like to chat over coffee this weekend?"

    A wall of text stating your history, occupation, and long term intentions feels distinctly unnatural and robotic. It's nice info to know, but people want to learn that organically.

    agree! casual and something indicating you actually read the profile (or skimmed most of it, at least) is good. I might be a weirdo but I didn't love it when people messaging me mentioned how I look - I assume since they're messaging me they find me attractive enough.

  • azith28azith28 Registered User regular
    Well, you run into a lot of profiles that specifically say 'dont just say 'hey' and expect me to respond', and you have others that sound like they only created the profile because someones got a shotgun to there head and the idea of sending an introduction should be to try and introduce yourself as a sane and reasonable person, trying not to sound like someone looking for a hookup, and at that point I would think casual comes after the initial meeting.

    Whats wrong with being formal and showing respect when meeting someone for the first time? Maybe suave people can act casual, or treat someone you have an interest in as someone you already know on a 'first date' but I find that kind of attitude rather on the douchebag side of things. I feel like its immediately showing disrespect to someone you want to know about.

    Obviously I'm doing something wrong so im listening, but i suck at this in person, (meeting people for the first time), so sucking at it online isnt surprising.

    Stercus, Stercus, Stercus, Morituri Sum
  • StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    Rainfall wrote: »
    Rainfall wrote: »
    azith28 wrote: »
    So, tell me whats wrong with this as an introduction on an online dating site.

    Hello <x>,

    My name is <Y>, and I have enjoyed learning about you from your profile. I'm a __ year old SWM, originally from ____, but have lived here in ____ for ____ years. I think we have some things in common and I would like to talk with you and see what other interests we share. <insert a few things about points of interest that we share>. I work in the _____ field, have no children, and have never been married. I'm looking to start a friendship, and hopefully something more later on. Not looking for a FWB or purely physical encounter, but a potential LTR.

    Hope to hear back from you,
    <Y>


    Cause I'm having like zero luck getting responses, and while the above may be a little simplistic, I'm just trying to see if someone wants to return my interest before composing a multi page pamphlet. Can't see whats wrong with the approach..

    Because it sounds like a job application. Be more casual.

    But not too casual, or you end up with something like "help hotass I let me get stepped on in a non-intimate way..."

    Yeah more something like: "Hey, I'm Azith, how's it going? You are pretty and we share a bunch of interests, would you like to chat over coffee this weekend?"

    A wall of text stating your history, occupation, and long term intentions feels distinctly unnatural and robotic. It's nice info to know, but people want to learn that organically.

    agree! casual and something indicating you actually read the profile (or skimmed most of it, at least) is good. I might be a weirdo but I didn't love it when people messaging me mentioned how I look - I assume since they're messaging me they find me attractive enough.

    Yeah, I'd agree that that's something to avoid.

    Listen, whoever you're messaging? They know you find them attractive (at least in your photos). They know that you find them interesting (at least conceptually). Don't say that they're either of those things. If there's something specifically interesting or attractive about them, talk about that. Tell them you love their earrings or their haircut! Tell them that you're very interested in the same things, ask questions, that sort of thing.

  • StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    azith28 wrote: »
    Well, you run into a lot of profiles that specifically say 'dont just say 'hey' and expect me to respond', and you have others that sound like they only created the profile because someones got a shotgun to there head and the idea of sending an introduction should be to try and introduce yourself as a sane and reasonable person, trying not to sound like someone looking for a hookup, and at that point I would think casual comes after the initial meeting.

    Whats wrong with being formal and showing respect when meeting someone for the first time? Maybe suave people can act casual, or treat someone you have an interest in as someone you already know on a 'first date' but I find that kind of attitude rather on the douchebag side of things. I feel like its immediately showing disrespect to someone you want to know about.

    Obviously I'm doing something wrong so im listening, but i suck at this in person, (meeting people for the first time), so sucking at it online isnt surprising.

    See, the way your message is structured

    It's pretty much the same thing as just saying 'hey' and expecting them to respond

    The request there isn't to not have short and informal messages

    It's to not send the same message that you just sent to ten other girls

  • RainfallRainfall Registered User regular
    edited May 2016
    Just to be clear I was being very deliberately generic as a phrasing template, you want to mention specific things you have in common and i have found success complimenting something about them you honestly noticed!

    But a casual approach is infinitely better than an application form.

    Rainfall on
  • SolarSolar Registered User regular
    Angelina wrote: »
    Spoilered because of mental illness stuff (not mine), and not really love related.
    I think I've posted before about the guy I've had to report to the police because of the weedkiller on bread thing. He's suffering from schizophrenia probably, he's paranoid and hearing bad messages constantly. He's also desperate for sex, and very open about this. Well after I reported him to the police a couple of weeks ago, they visited him and have made him go to the doctor or he'll be arrested/sectioned. He recorded that visit to the doctor, and I'm currently listening to it. I'm currently at a community mental health placement that deals with schizophrenia mainly, and this video is the scariest thing I've dealt with. I guess mostly I've seen people who are stable and have dealt with their condition for a long time, this guy is non compliant with his medication so the voices are in control. They talk about him being reported and god I'm so glad he doesn't know it's been me both times.

    I have an oreo ice cream stick to eat! I hope it survived last night!

    You did good Ange, and I think in the long run it's the right thing for that guy to get the help he needs :)

  • honoverehonovere Registered User regular
    If Britain votes for the Brexit will you guys take the love thread with you or will I still be allowed to post here?

  • OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    honovere wrote: »
    If Britain votes for the Brexit will you guys take the love thread with you or will I still be allowed to post here?

    The Love Thread is an embassy for lovelorn citizens of all nations.

    cdci44qazyo3.gif

  • CelloCello Registered User regular
    See, here's the thing

    Women on dating sites get a lot of messages and end up doing a bit of a mental filter to try and sort out which, if any, are worth actually considering

    If your message reads like a cover letter you're copy-pasting to a lot of the women on the site and just swapping sentences, it's both inorganic and pretty easy to spot. Regardless of how "respectful" you think you're trying to be, when it comes down to it you...kind of aren't, if you're treating the person you're writing to like they're no different than a company you've Googled and are trying to apply for

    I am far, far more likely to respond to something like Straightzi's message style. If you want to include a sentence or two about how you relate to a thing the woman likes before asking a question about something unique about her you're actually interested in, then that's even better, to me.

    Steam
    3DS Friend Code: 0216-0898-6512
    Switch Friend Code: SW-7437-1538-7786
  • CelloCello Registered User regular
    I also don't dig physical compliments on dating sites, because it tends to make me question what the guy is there for/prioritizes.

    I'd much rather hear things like "oh FUCK I would love to do a Chris Jericho/Dean Ambrose couple costume with you WHICH ONE DO YOU PREFER"

    Steam
    3DS Friend Code: 0216-0898-6512
    Switch Friend Code: SW-7437-1538-7786
  • BroloBrolo Broseidon Lord of the BroceanRegistered User regular
    Form letters are the equivalent of being robo-called.

    Or receiving a bulk "OFFER ENDS SOON" mailer instead of a hand-written letter.

  • SassoriSassori Registered User regular
    Yeah I stopped responding to any messages that didn't ask me a question and then that got narrowed down to asking or indicating something the read on my profile. Even something as short as:

    Hey I'm ______. I saw on your profile that you listen to ______ podcast. Have you ever listened to ______? I think you would like it.


    This would get a faster response from me than someone who wrote "Hey" or "You should smile more! You're pretty" or even an essay that looks like they copied and pasted it.

  • RainfallRainfall Registered User regular
    Sassori wrote: »
    Yeah I stopped responding to any messages that didn't ask me a question and then that got narrowed down to asking or indicating something the read on my profile. Even something as short as:

    Hey I'm ______. I saw on your profile that you listen to ______ podcast. Have you ever listened to ______? I think you would like it.


    This would get a faster response from me than someone who wrote "Hey" or "You should smile more! You're pretty" or even an essay that looks like they copied and pasted it.

    Well, anyone who says "You should smile more" deserves a beatdown. Ugh.

  • HacksawHacksaw J. Duggan Esq. Wrestler at LawRegistered User regular
    I don't dig physical compliments at all.

    Because I know you're all just doing that so I'll let my guard down. And if I let my guard down, HYDRA will worm its way in!

  • LiiyaLiiya Registered User regular
    bS5XuUe.gif

  • SolarSolar Registered User regular
    A national treasure, that man

  • SnicketysnickSnicketysnick The Greatest Hype Man in WesterosRegistered User regular
    Good ol' Sir Boatface.

    7qmGNt5.png
    D3 Steam #TeamTangent STO
  • AngelinaAngelina Registered User regular
    "May 20 10:32 pm

    Wazzup chick?"

    No use of the word chick allowed unless I get fluffy little birds!

  • Mr FuzzbuttMr Fuzzbutt Registered User regular
    I did it!

    I ate my first waffle!

    It was pretty good.

    broken image link
  • rhylithrhylith Death Rabbits HoustonRegistered User regular
    I did it!

    I ate my first waffle!

    It was pretty good.

    Congrats

  • Magic PinkMagic Pink Tur-Boner-Fed Registered User regular
    Liiya wrote: »
    bS5XuUe.gif

    OMG LIIYA PORN

  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    Someone maybe interested in MST3King it up

  • KadithKadith Registered User regular
    am I too late to come in here to say that I will absolutely betray america and join the commonwealth?

    zkHcp.jpg
  • TallahasseerielTallahasseeriel Registered User regular
    Love thread, I made another old fashioned with the last of my makers mark.

    It was better this time but I think I'm adding too much bitters and not dissolving the sugar enough.

    I think, since I'm an irish whisky guy usually anyway, I should try making an irish coffee.

  • JuggernutJuggernut Registered User regular
    Oh well that just means more FREEDOM for me.

    *tapes gun to another gun to exponentially increase freedom*

  • NijaNija Registered User regular
    Rainfall wrote: »
    Sassori wrote: »
    Yeah I stopped responding to any messages that didn't ask me a question and then that got narrowed down to asking or indicating something the read on my profile. Even something as short as:

    Hey I'm ______. I saw on your profile that you listen to ______ podcast. Have you ever listened to ______? I think you would like it.


    This would get a faster response from me than someone who wrote "Hey" or "You should smile more! You're pretty" or even an essay that looks like they copied and pasted it.

    Well, anyone who says "You should smile more" deserves a beatdown. Ugh.

    I was talking to a Paralegal in the office today. She told me an attorney, who is younger than her, told her to smile more.

    She asked him if she would tell a man that. He said no. She responded with then what makes you think it's appropriate.

    She reported him.

    I stopped what I was doing, when to her floor and shook her hand (I would have high-fived her, but her back hurt).

    Priest lvl 110 Warlock lvl 9x DK lvl 110 Paladin lvl 9x Rogue lvl 8x

    Steam Me
  • KarlKarl Registered User regular
    Nipple selfie away.

    The GF can deal with that shit tomorrow.

    God bless you cheap whiskey, I'm sure everything is going to be ok

  • TofystedethTofystedeth Registered User regular
    Someone maybe interested in MST3King it up

    super late, but if things are happenin' I'd join.
    I need to stop playing Stellaris.

    steam_sig.png
  • VeldrinVeldrin Sham bam bamina Registered User regular
    So yesterday I found myself in the weird position of having to use a direct term of endearment for my grandmother-in-law for the first time in the 5 years that I've been married.

    It was a surprisingly stressful moment!

  • Blameless ClericBlameless Cleric An angel made of sapphires each more flawlessly cut than the last Registered User regular
    Rainfall wrote: »
    Rainfall wrote: »
    azith28 wrote: »
    So, tell me whats wrong with this as an introduction on an online dating site.

    Hello <x>,

    My name is <Y>, and I have enjoyed learning about you from your profile. I'm a __ year old SWM, originally from ____, but have lived here in ____ for ____ years. I think we have some things in common and I would like to talk with you and see what other interests we share. <insert a few things about points of interest that we share>. I work in the _____ field, have no children, and have never been married. I'm looking to start a friendship, and hopefully something more later on. Not looking for a FWB or purely physical encounter, but a potential LTR.

    Hope to hear back from you,
    <Y>


    Cause I'm having like zero luck getting responses, and while the above may be a little simplistic, I'm just trying to see if someone wants to return my interest before composing a multi page pamphlet. Can't see whats wrong with the approach..

    Because it sounds like a job application. Be more casual.

    But not too casual, or you end up with something like "help hotass I let me get stepped on in a non-intimate way..."

    Yeah more something like: "Hey, I'm Azith, how's it going? You are pretty and we share a bunch of interests, would you like to chat over coffee this weekend?"

    A wall of text stating your history, occupation, and long term intentions feels distinctly unnatural and robotic. It's nice info to know, but people want to learn that organically.

    The, like, two times I've messaged someone, I tried to make my greeting specifically involve something from their profile. If nothing else it proves I'm not just shotgunning messages and tries to establish a common point of discussion.

    fwiw the two people I went on dates with last time I was doing the online thing were the two people who sent me something that related to my profile that wasn't just "But are you sure you don't want a threesome??"

    Orphane wrote: »

    one flower ring to rule them all and in the sunlightness bind them

    I'd love it if you took a look at my art and my PATREON!
  • Peter EbelPeter Ebel CopenhagenRegistered User regular
    Whisky and angry music alone night. That'll work.

    Fuck off and die.
  • KadithKadith Registered User regular
    Peter Ebel wrote: »
    Whisky and angry music alone night. That'll work.

    What about whisky and shooting/shouting at angry demons?

    zkHcp.jpg
  • BillyIdleBillyIdle What does "katana" mean? It means "Japanese sword."Registered User regular
    I may have a coffee date tomorrow with someone who is back home from school for the summer. Kinda surprised that I didn't flub up on bumble, and that someone is down to meet up.

    PSN: BillyIdle_
This discussion has been closed.