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Is this [Love]?

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    Magic PinkMagic Pink Tur-Boner-Fed Registered User regular

    My previous relationship kinda made me paranoid, as I found out by checking my girlfriends phone that she was flirting with another guy who very much wanted to nail her and that she was going to meet him, none of which she told me.

    Which is why I did exactly this, again. And I found out that she kept from me that she had unprotected sex with the guy I knew about. Trust broken Nr. 1.

    It is NEVER ok to check someone else's phone. You broke the trust first, not her.

    And she's not cheating on you if it was only "friendship plus"; you were very clear that you didn't want more than that and so she did what she wanted as well. You can't hold her actions against her when they happened before you even decided to start a relationship.

    She seems to have a lot more to complain about than you do, to be frank.

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    DecomposeyDecomposey Registered User regular
    edited August 2016
    Well first of all stop spying on other peoples phones. That's all kinds of wrong.

    Second of all, when people tell you they think you shouldn't talk for a while, respect that. You thinking about her all the time is not an excuse to disregard her boundaries.

    Third of all STOP SPYING ON HER CHATS. That is the behavior of either an abusive partner or a stalker. Are you an abusive partner or a stalker? I hope the answer is no. So stop acting like one.

    Fourth of all, she had sex with a guy when you were admittedly broken up. Unprotected or not, that is her right, and you don't get to say 'trust broken!' because your EX friend-with-benefits slept with a dude. She was your EX friend-with-benefits when that happened. She should be your EX friend-with-benefits still because:

    Fifth of all, she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. Realize this and move on.

    Decomposey on
    Before following any advice, opinions, or thoughts I may have expressed in the above post, be warned: I found Keven Costners "Waterworld" to be a very entertaining film.
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    StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    Let me just check and make sure I have this timeline straight

    - More than a few months ago, you get out of a serious relationship (during which your girlfriend may have intended to cheat on you, something that you discovered by breaking her trust, but I'm not going to get too much into that)
    - A few months ago, you meet a new person who you really like
    - You go on two dates with her, sleep with her, but decide that you just want to be friends, even though she is your "soulmate"
    - She proceeds to continue dating other people, with your knowledge
    - She sleeps with one of the other people that she is dating (this, she doesn't tell you about)
    - You violate her privacy, checking her phone and finding out that she slept with a person that she is dating
    - You confront her about this, and she is very upset, as she thought that you would stop being friends with her if you found out that she slept with someone who she was dating

    I don't even want to go on

    This seemed like a good idea at first, but good lord man

    You are being horrifically manipulative of someone else, I do not know what to say

    Get out now, for her sake, and reassess your dang life

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    OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    This... doesn't feel like an entirely appropriate use of this thread. Like Kwoaru said, it's more of an H/A matter and also this situation is way more complex and serious than the usual level of friendly advice and encouragement we traffic in. I don't want to see this thread shut down.

    cdci44qazyo3.gif

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    HowToBeSingleHowToBeSingle Registered User regular
    edited August 2016
    Well I guess I won't be replying here, due to not wanting to drag this out. If you want me to reply please do so in the H/A chat I'll open! Thanks for the replys anyways!

    Edit: At least this I want to say, I'm really glad to have made this post because god damn, I have actually legitimately felt being in the right here... and... you're all right...

    HowToBeSingle on
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    sarukunsarukun RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    Palette cleanser, my buddies I went out with over the weekend say they know a girl I could meet, so maybe a blind date in a week or two here, that should be fun.

    This weekend is hang outs with an old dancing buddy, though. I wanted to meet her husband but he's in Germany, so her and a friend of hers and I are off to the "Taipei Beer and Music" festival. Should be fun.

    Last weekend the ex and I confirmed that the "break" is in fact a break up and I am still super sad about it.

    Miitomo asked what I would want a significant other to call me and it just bummed me right the fuck out.

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    DecomposeyDecomposey Registered User regular
    Straightzi wrote: »
    and reassess your dang life

    *Waves hand* You do not want to sell me Death Sticks...

    Before following any advice, opinions, or thoughts I may have expressed in the above post, be warned: I found Keven Costners "Waterworld" to be a very entertaining film.
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    SolarSolar Registered User regular
    Today everything was super natural between the two of us despite (or maybe because of?) how emotionally intense last night was and I'm really glad. She had to shoot off to go meet up with an old uni friend but she specifically came and found me while I was making a round of drinks for a quiet hug and hand squeeze which was really cute. Gah this damn woman, when she says and does nice things I just go all funny!

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    OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    Solar wrote: »
    Today everything was super natural between the two of us despite (or maybe because of?) how emotionally intense last night was and I'm really glad. She had to shoot off to go meet up with an old uni friend but she specifically came and found me while I was making a round of drinks for a quiet hug and hand squeeze which was really cute. Gah this damn woman, when she says and does nice things I just go all funny!

    So, like, office supplies levitating, reading each others' minds, ghosts, that sort of thing?

    cdci44qazyo3.gif

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    BotznoyBotznoy Registered User regular
    It was my Partners birthday yesterday. Got her some nice things she wants/needs for the house, then she had to go to work so I made her a cake as a little surprise. She gets back from work and her work made her a cake and now we have two cakes and like four chocolate bars. Send help!

    IZF2byN.jpg

    Want to play co-op games? Feel free to hit me up!
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    SolarSolar Registered User regular
    Solar wrote: »
    Today everything was super natural between the two of us despite (or maybe because of?) how emotionally intense last night was and I'm really glad. She had to shoot off to go meet up with an old uni friend but she specifically came and found me while I was making a round of drinks for a quiet hug and hand squeeze which was really cute. Gah this damn woman, when she says and does nice things I just go all funny!

    So, like, office supplies levitating, reading each others' minds, ghosts, that sort of thing?

    Well, not quite that, but it's very nice when a beautiful woman tells you that she thinks you're sweet and selfless and brave and all that stuff! Hope I live up to her image of me!

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    ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    Hmm. It does sound nice to be told that.

    I should start posing as Solar and start hitting up the social media dating sites.

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    XaquinXaquin Right behind you!Registered User regular
    ChicoBlue wrote: »
    Hmm. It does sound nice to be told that.

    I should start posing as Solar and start hitting up the social media dating sites.

    That would be selfless* and brave** of you

    *I'm not a beautiful woman
    **I'm in a happy relationship

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    ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    Mmmmm!

    I takes what I can gets.

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    AngelinaAngelina Registered User regular
    "wow your hot you want a toy boy to have fun with and a lot of banta haha x"

    Banta. *shudders*

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    honoverehonovere Registered User regular
    Maybe he ment Banthas? Those seem friendly enough and you can ride them.

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    SorceSorce Not ThereRegistered User regular
    Cheeky Banta?

    sig.gif
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    KarlKarl Registered User regular
    He'll take you to Nandos

    I went last night

    it was good

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    ReginaldReginald When I am Pres., I will create the Department of ______Registered User regular
    I am approximately halfway around the world from my family, and I miss them constantly. It's making sleep somewhat difficult. Love thread, love is not for the faint of heart, because it hurts sometimes.

    On the good side, I am creating a ton of stories to tell the fam, and buying them tons of crazy things.

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    VeldrinVeldrin Sham bam bamina Registered User regular
    On a related note, my parents are currently getting right into my Dad's newly started retirement and are off riding and wandering around Europe and the UK for months on end.

    They're currently somewhere near Worcester and I am severely jealous.

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    AngelinaAngelina Registered User regular
    Nandos is not somewhere I like to eat, which makes me sad as they give a great NHS discount. I don't get the appeal at all.

    "When the gods were giving out kissability lips, they sure looked after you..."

    I'm getting a lot of lines this morning for some reason.

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    ArtereisArtereis Registered User regular
    Are there pickup line madlibs? It feels like your suitors are all getting them from the same source.


    In other news, the lady with the awesome profile is interested! The downside is she's busy for the next month or so, but since I have transcended linear time that's hardly far away at all. In the mean time, I have tentative plans to go to Universal next Tuesday with the other girl from OKC. Things are starting to shape up a bit.

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    Randy ButternubbsRandy Butternubbs Registered User regular
    The wifey is house sitting for a retired friend on vacation for two weeks because she has a pup (just over a year old) that needs somebody around and dear lord this dag. Complete dufus in the most endearing way, super well behaved, a giant cuddlebug, and is always super excited and friendly with new people or animals.

    Best two weeks ever.

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    Magic PinkMagic Pink Tur-Boner-Fed Registered User regular
    The wifey is house sitting for a retired friend on vacation for two weeks because she has a pup (just over a year old) that needs somebody around and dear lord this dag. Complete dufus in the most endearing way, super well behaved, a giant cuddlebug, and is always super excited and friendly with new people or animals.

    Best two weeks ever.

    because she gets the dog or because she's gone for two weeks

    answer carefully

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    OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    Artereis wrote: »
    Are there pickup line madlibs? It feels like your suitors are all getting them from the same source.


    In other news, the lady with the awesome profile is interested! The downside is she's busy for the next month or so, but since I have transcended linear time that's hardly far away at all. In the mean time, I have tentative plans to go to Universal next Tuesday with the other girl from OKC. Things are starting to shape up a bit.

    There are absolutely places on the Internet where people collect "pick up techniques". Wouldn't be the least bit surprised if a ton of people in online dating are just using material from some post on Reddit.

    cdci44qazyo3.gif

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    Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    Angelina wrote: »
    Nandos is not somewhere I like to eat, which makes me sad as they give a great NHS discount. I don't get the appeal at all.

    "When the gods were giving out kissability lips, they sure looked after you..."

    I'm getting a lot of lines this morning for some reason.

    I'm serious about this, buddy, you should turn these profile messages into a coffee-table book

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    Magic PinkMagic Pink Tur-Boner-Fed Registered User regular
    Angelina wrote: »
    Nandos is not somewhere I like to eat, which makes me sad as they give a great NHS discount. I don't get the appeal at all.

    "When the gods were giving out kissability lips, they sure looked after you..."

    I'm getting a lot of lines this morning for some reason.

    I'm serious about this, buddy, you should turn these profile messages into a coffee-table book

    100% agree, combine it with the right photos/artwork and it would sell like crazy.

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    JuggernutJuggernut Registered User regular
    Juxtaposed to pictures from the Cold War.

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    Magic PinkMagic Pink Tur-Boner-Fed Registered User regular
    oh my god yes

    just he most conservative of world leaders looking grumpy

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    Shazkar ShadowstormShazkar Shadowstorm Registered User regular
    hmph

    like, one of my friends who i consider a good friend but haven't gotten to see much lately because of her work sched and stuff, and if i see her it's always in context of our larger friend group, tho we used to hang out a lot more

    so i planned dinner with her to catch up and stuff

    but then she invited our other friends (who i love dearly, but who i see all the time and you know, sometimes you need a break) without asking me first

    is it fair to be annoyed (i am not going to act annoyed as i can handle things tactfully like an adult) - but that is how i feel

    poo
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    StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    Yeah that's totally fair

    Don't invite other people to a thing without asking the person who planned said thing

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    OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    hmph

    like, one of my friends who i consider a good friend but haven't gotten to see much lately because of her work sched and stuff, and if i see her it's always in context of our larger friend group, tho we used to hang out a lot more

    so i planned dinner with her to catch up and stuff

    but then she invited our other friends (who i love dearly, but who i see all the time and you know, sometimes you need a break) without asking me first

    is it fair to be annoyed (i am not going to act annoyed as i can handle things tactfully like an adult) - but that is how i feel

    Group hangs are an inherently different experience than one-on-one hangs. I'd be pretty disappointed and a bit upset too.

    cdci44qazyo3.gif

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    Shazkar ShadowstormShazkar Shadowstorm Registered User regular
    Yeah. Oh well, they can't be uninvited and I don't wanna look like a dick so oh well

    poo
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    durandal4532durandal4532 Registered User regular
    We watched Star Trek Beyond and both thought it was good fun but the highlight was during the Snowden trailer she kept leaning over and whispering "I'm Schnooowden, I know alll the shecrets"

    Take a moment to donate what you can to Critical Resistance and Black Lives Matter.
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    TallahasseerielTallahasseeriel Registered User regular
    So I haven't heard from indiana MST3K lady since monday.

    What is the ettiquette about texting people if the last time we talked I asked her to gimme a call later in the week? Should I just wait to see or is it cool if I send her a what's up how is your day kinda thing?

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    LiiyaLiiya Registered User regular
    Text her.

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    TallahasseerielTallahasseeriel Registered User regular
    Ah okay cool, will do.

    We spent a bunch of monday afternoon and into the evening texting back and forth. It's pretty fun.

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    Shazkar ShadowstormShazkar Shadowstorm Registered User regular
    my friend sent me an invite to solo hang 2 weeks from now tho so i feel better

    poo
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    Shazkar ShadowstormShazkar Shadowstorm Registered User regular
    therapy is so good i feel better from that too

    poo
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    Randy ButternubbsRandy Butternubbs Registered User regular
    Magic Pink wrote: »
    The wifey is house sitting for a retired friend on vacation for two weeks because she has a pup (just over a year old) that needs somebody around and dear lord this dag. Complete dufus in the most endearing way, super well behaved, a giant cuddlebug, and is always super excited and friendly with new people or animals.

    Best two weeks ever.

    because she gets the dog or because she's gone for two weeks

    answer carefully

    It's 100% dag. Like, I guess having some extra hours of vidya the nights I can't stay the night there because of other junk is fun, but I'd still rather be hanging with her.

This discussion has been closed.