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How To Kill A Dracula, and Other Lesser Undead

MeldingMelding Registered User regular
The Undead,

A large category of loosely connected being that are connected by one simple fact, they were once alive but are now instead animated by evil magics. Beyond this there are few similarities between types of undead as the difference between even a zombie and a ghoul can be massive. Though this may sound odd it is important to remember that all undead are created by an outside source and therefore are designed and not typically naturally occurring leading to specialization in intent. This is most notable in skeletons, as many have armour weaved into them or some secondary feature based on their origin.

This said there are several categories of undead used, with each undead typically falling within atleast two of these allowing for generalized tactics to be used and developed.
  1. Corporeal: These are typically the fleshy or bony undead. In most cases mundane weapons work fine against them with some considerations like skeletons being hit harder to hit with a sword and such like. They are often considered the easiest to deal with.
  2. Incorporeal: Shocking no one, this is the second physical classification of undead.This is your standard ghost and spectre, something that can not be typically touched by mundane things but seem to have an ability to affect the material world. Though more difficult to deal with finding means to rebuke them are becoming more commonplace with magic and experimental energy weapons, however one typically has to sever their connection with the world to truly be rid of them.
  3. Intelligent: Intelligent undead are those able to act beyond an animal like intelligence, they might not show a human like demeanour but they aren’t mindlessly wandering around either. It should be noted that no intelligent undead is still their former person, with rare exception in the lich, and instead is an entirely new being. Do not trust the newly risen vampire or zombielord, they are now a new monster.
  4. Mindless: the typical movie zombie type undead fill these ranks. Acting as little more than attack animals wandering around listlessly attacking every living thing they see. These are the easiest to plan against as you don’t have to worry about them adapting to new plans, their method of attack is a straight line and the path of least resistance.
  5. Reenactors: a somewhat rare type of undead, these are the usual ghosts in most TV shows, forced to live out an act they did in life until someone manages to break the cycle, this is a new category as we have witnessed all types of undead stuck in these kinds of loops, some aware of their fate, others not. These are commonly the least dangerous undead, but breaking them of their cycle can be very unpredictable.

So, join me as we discuss the general categories of undeath and then break into specific cases of undeath as we learn how to finally kill, a Dracula.

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Posts

  • TubeTube Registered User admin
    Are you tailoring these specifically to me now

  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    Doormats for sale! Guaranteed to keep out Draculas!

  • BlankZoeBlankZoe Registered User regular
    Dr. Melding, I am developing a product for a hit website and am curious: would a greeting mat that reads WELCOME qualify as an invitation for (a) Dracula?

    Follow-up: if yes, would one reading WELCOME (EXCEPT YOU DRACULA). be sufficient to keep him/them out?

    Yours,
    Marketing Magician in the Midwest

    CYpGAPn.png
  • BlankZoeBlankZoe Registered User regular
    Doormats for sale! Guaranteed to keep out Draculas!
    I will see you in court

    CYpGAPn.png
  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    Blankzilla wrote: »
    Doormats for sale! Guaranteed to keep out Draculas!
    I will see you in court

    REGISTERED TRADEMARK

  • TubeTube Registered User admin
    Blankzilla wrote: »
    Dr. Melding, I am developing a product for a hit website and am curious: would a greeting mat that reads WELCOME qualify as an invitation for (a) Dracula?

    Follow-up: if yes, would one reading WELCOME (EXCEPT YOU DRACULA). be sufficient to keep him/them out?

    Yours,
    Marketing Magician in the Midwest

    This is such a good question.

  • OlivawOlivaw good name, isn't it? the foot of mt fujiRegistered User regular
    Can a Dracula naturally turn into bats and wolves and control beasts and shit or does he have to go to the Scholomance for that

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    PSN ID : DetectiveOlivaw | TWITTER | STEAM ID | NEVER FORGET
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Blankzilla wrote: »
    Dr. Melding, I am developing a product for a hit website and am curious: would a greeting mat that reads WELCOME qualify as an invitation for (a) Dracula?

    Follow-up: if yes, would one reading WELCOME (EXCEPT YOU DRACULA). be sufficient to keep him/them out?

    Yours,
    Marketing Magician in the Midwest

    Dear Marketer,

    the rules for higher vampires are not always hard and fast and the entry rules is one of the loosest. For the vast majority that need permission to enter a welcome mat would not be enough to grant them entrance as a Welcome mat is more a sign that bothering this person won't end in intimidate harm. As well there is only one vampire known as Dracula, who isn't actually a Dracula but that's a different story, so such a mat wouldn't be actually effective.

    It however is a great novelty and shows the vampire that vampires aren't welcome here and would maybe be less likely to bother someone with such a doormat.

    So in short, no and no, but it's cute and I like it a lot. You should do it anyway, they can't prove it doesn't keep away vampires.

    Sincerely,

    D. Melding, Proud owner of a tiger repelling brick.

  • miscellaneousinsanitymiscellaneousinsanity grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and brother, i hurt peopleRegistered User regular
  • EnlongEnlong Registered User regular
    edited August 2016
    Contrary to popular belief, damaging the body of a corporeal undead, whether the undead is fleshy or bony, will do nothing to incapacitate or even hinder the undead's ability to move. Indeed, as any biologist could tell you, a corporeal undead already shouldn't be able to move. A rotted zombie or fully skeletal minion does not have the necessary musculature needed to move a skeleton, the way living humans do. What is actually moving the body is a spectral force that surrounds the physical object and moves it according to an outside will by pulling at the limbs and torso.

    What this means is that slicing a zombie's legs off at the thigh will not stop its advance; you will only give the body an extra point of articulation. To kill a zombie, one needs to remove the special energy moving the body, or make the body immobile with a counter-force stronger than the spectral force. You may recognize this as similar to the method used to destroy a ghost. Indeed. Some necrologists posit that ghosts are a corporeal undead that possess ashen remains or vapors wafting from fully decomposed specimens, rather than recognizable corpses.

    Enlong on
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Olivaw wrote: »
    Can a Dracula naturally turn into bats and wolves and control beasts and shit or does he have to go to the Scholomance for that

    This was covered in an earlier thread actually, link here, but no they can not, however most being showmen and magicians of a type have learned to pull the trick off with some slide of hand and a well place mentally dominated animal.
    Enlong wrote: »
    Contrary to popular belief, damaging the body of a corporeal undead, whether the undead is fleshy or bony, will do nothing to incapacitate or even hinder the undead's ability to move. Indeed, as any biologist could tell you, a corporeal undead already shouldn't be able to move. A rotted zombie or fully skeletal minion does not have the necessary musculature needed to move a skeleton, the way living humans do. What is actually moving the body is a spectral force that surrounds the physical object and moves it according to an outside will by pulling at the limbs and torso.

    What this means is that slicing a zombie's legs off at the thigh will not stop its advance; you will only give the body an extra point of articulation. To kill a zombie, one needs to remove the special energy moving the body, or make the body immobile with a counter-force stronger than the spectral force. You may recognize this as similar to the method used to destroy a ghost. Indeed. Some necrologists posit that ghosts are a corporeal undead that possess ashen remains or vapors wafting from fully decomposed specimens, rather than recognizable corpses.

    This isn't entirely true in practice. removing parts of a corporeal undead does hinder it, as the base is that is typically animated and removing parts of it from the base stop them from being animated. There are cases where what you're saying is true, but these are typically advanced forms undead that have been magically reinforced. your standard zombie once it loses an arm or a head those things stop working while the rest of the zombie works. An undying however, yeah, the only way to stop one of those is to render the whole thing inoperable.

  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    edited August 2016
    Dear Melding, is a holy whip effective in repelling vampires Draculas or is that a myth propagated by videogames

    Platy on
  • cB557cB557 voOOP Registered User regular
    2011-08-01-Dracula-2p4.jpg

  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister It Gets Worse before it gets any better.Registered User regular
    Dr. Melding,

    Is it true that there are some "good" vampires, or is that largely a creation of modern pop culture?

    Truly,
    Count Kissula

  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Dear Melding, is a holy whip effective in repelling vampires Draculas or is that a myth propagated by videogames

    The Belmont whip is considered a relic weapon, and has special properties that make it an effective item against the undead that no other whip could reasonably have without getting to the status of relic themselves, so as a general rule don't go around expecting to whip a vampire into submission. Unless the vampire is into that, I'm not here to judge. Like many things, fire is your best choice here, followed by blades and something to puncture the vampire's heart.

  • BlueBlueBlueBlue Registered User regular
    it's garlic right
    i know everyone is always real fast to say no that's ridiculous but imo that's just what dracula wants you to think

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  • WhippyWhippy Moderator, Admin Emeritus Admin Emeritus
    what if the dracula is a lesbian, are they different or more powerful

  • DasUberEdwardDasUberEdward Registered User regular
    edited August 2016
    What an excellent and useful post. I will bookmark this.

    Are we to presume that the Mummy and Lich are one in the same?

    DasUberEdward on
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  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Dr. Melding,

    Is it true that there are some "good" vampires, or is that largely a creation of modern pop culture?

    Truly,
    Count Kissula

    Dear Count,

    There has been a few cases of "not evil" vampires. However, most were new to the whole thing and were unplanned vampires so they did any self respecting kid would, Rebel.

    However, with the exception of one they have all ended up reverting back to normal vampire means, with some excuses like "I'm only feeding on criminals the law won't deal with" or "For every innocent i kill, i'm saving ten more, this is a small price to pay." with even these eventually being discarded to dismiss their behaviour.

    The exception got ripped in half and thrown into a thresher by a werewolf. We can only speculate where he might have ended up though.

    Hope this helps,

    D. Melding, Didn't pay that werewolf to do anything and you can't prove otherwise.

  • LarsLars Registered User regular
    In old lore, staking a vampire wasn't intended to kill it, it was to nail the asshole into his coffin so he'd stop getting up every night to bite people. As soon as someone removed the stake, he'd just get up and resume his biting ways again (probably specifically targeting the person who put the stake in him, or if not them, then that person's family or descendants).

  • SanderJKSanderJK Crocodylus Pontifex Sinterklasicus Madrid, 3000 ADRegistered User regular
    How a sexy Dracula may look:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_AViiBbkBw

    Also in D&D yesterday I killed an undead dog with spooky scary barking powers and 2 mesmerizing dancing snake skeletons by locking the door of the room there were in, my buddy magically reinforcing the door, then later collapsing the prison demiplane that the shadowmansion was in.
    Now this chance doesn't come up a lot, but it was extremely efficient. Erased from existence by opening the door, having 2 people get panicked, closing the door, turn the key again.

    Steam: SanderJK Origin: SanderJK
  • OlivawOlivaw good name, isn't it? the foot of mt fujiRegistered User regular
    Is there such a thing as a "daywalker" or dhampir or half-vampire

    If so, which half

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    PSN ID : DetectiveOlivaw | TWITTER | STEAM ID | NEVER FORGET
  • Grunt's GhostsGrunt's Ghosts Registered User regular
    Depends on the vampire...

    Can they eat without killing or turning their victims?

    Then they might be better than us, since we have to kill animals to eat them. (Fuck you, vegetarians.)

  • TrippyJingTrippyJing Moses supposes his toeses are roses. But Moses supposes erroneously.Registered User regular
    edited August 2016
    Are vampires actually sexy or do they just mind-control you into thinking they're sexy?

    TrippyJing on
    b1ehrMM.gif
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    BlueBlue wrote: »
    it's garlic right
    i know everyone is always real fast to say no that's ridiculous but imo that's just what dracula wants you to think

    Garlic and onions have marginal effects, and are at best discribed as an irritant, however, a lot of vampires are very Algophobic so it has remarkable effects.
    Whippy wrote: »
    what if the dracula is a lesbian, are they different or more powerful

    Nope, while many vampires are bisexual, hetero and homosexual vampires are just as normal.
    What an excellent and useful post. I will bookmark this.

    Are we to presume that the Mummy and Lich are one in the same?

    Oh lord no, mummies and liches are like, night, and night on mars different.
    Lars wrote: »
    In old lore, staking a vampire wasn't intended to kill it, it was to nail the asshole into his coffin so he'd stop getting up every night to bite people. As soon as someone removed the stake, he'd just get up and resume his biting ways again (probably specifically targeting the person who put the stake in him, or if not them, then that person's family or descendants).

    In our experiences it often works as an off switch. they just kind of fall over, and people assume they're dead. because hey movies. which si why you then decapitate the vampire and burn the body and head separately.

  • XaquinXaquin Right behind you!Registered User regular
    cB557 wrote: »
    2011-08-01-Dracula-2p4.jpg

    Beat me to it

  • miscellaneousinsanitymiscellaneousinsanity grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and brother, i hurt peopleRegistered User regular
  • OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    BlueBlue wrote: »
    it's garlic right
    i know everyone is always real fast to say no that's ridiculous but imo that's just what dracula wants you to think

    Garlic is risky because what the vampire is Wario?

    Vampire_Wario_normal_WL3.png

    cdci44qazyo3.gif

  • PinfeldorfPinfeldorf Yeah ZestRegistered User regular
    Is there any way for a Dracula to become unimprisoned in a moon by a super bitchy ex-girlfriend?

    Capriciously yours,
    S. Markov

  • RandomEncounterRandomEncounter Registered User regular
    Melding wrote: »
    As well there is only one vampire known as Dracula, who isn't actually a Dracula but that's a different story, so such a mat wouldn't be actually effective.

    He is actually Dracula's monster

  • see317see317 Registered User regular
    Also, because of the lack of a comma there, any true Dracula would point out that you had specified that You Dracula was the specific Dracula to be denied access, and as their name isn't "You" they obviously have been welcomed to your residence.

    Dracula's are notorious rules lawyers when it comes to the spoken or written word.

  • OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    see317 wrote: »
    Also, because of the lack of a comma there, any true Dracula would point out that you had specified that You Dracula was the specific Dracula to be denied access, and as their name isn't "You" they obviously have been welcomed to your residence.

    Dracula's are notorious rules lawyers when it comes to the spoken or written word.

    Feh, that goes both ways. Technically the mat only welcomes you to the porch and doorway, not the interior of the home.

    cdci44qazyo3.gif

  • Grunt's GhostsGrunt's Ghosts Registered User regular
    TrippyJing wrote: »
    Are vampires actually sexy or do they just mind-control you into thinking they're sexy?

    1feu0g85zowa.png

    d2yvj9u1huqw.png

  • DracomicronDracomicron Registered User regular
    Whippy wrote: »
    what if the dracula is a lesbian, are they different or more powerful

    Lesbian draculas are not innately different or more powerful, but early lesbian draculas had exellent publicists and therefore there is a slight media bias in their favor that sometimes results in more effective feeding techniques.

    On the other hand, bisexual draculas of any gender have special powers that other draculas don't. There are some theories as to why this is, but the practical result is that a much higher percentage of draculas are bisexual than the general population. Draculas who were not bisexual in their living years often show marked sexual fluidity upon learning that there are extra powers in it for them.

  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Melding wrote: »
    As well there is only one vampire known as Dracula, who isn't actually a Dracula but that's a different story, so such a mat wouldn't be actually effective.

    He is actually Dracula's monster

    Nah, it's actual ass dracula. It's just we started calling higher vampires draculas and then actual ass dracula showed up and we weren't going to stop calling draculas dracula, so now he's Actual Ass Dracula. He's a real shit too. Luckily after Christopher Lee died he went into a deep mourning ritual, so we probably won't be seeing him any time soon.

  • RandomEncounterRandomEncounter Registered User regular
    Melding wrote: »
    Melding wrote: »
    As well there is only one vampire known as Dracula, who isn't actually a Dracula but that's a different story, so such a mat wouldn't be actually effective.

    He is actually Dracula's monster

    Nah, it's actual ass dracula. It's just we started calling higher vampires draculas and then actual ass dracula showed up and we weren't going to stop calling draculas dracula, so now he's Actual Ass Dracula. He's a real shit too. Luckily after Christopher Lee died he went into a deep mourning ritual, so we probably won't be seeing him any time soon.

    Can you make a frankenstein out of dracula parts? Or can a dracula be mummified? How much mixing is possible here, cause I'm thinking of making a monster mash

  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    How exactly do you become a Dracula, I feel like a lot of the information I have on the topic contradicts itself

  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Melding wrote: »
    Melding wrote: »
    As well there is only one vampire known as Dracula, who isn't actually a Dracula but that's a different story, so such a mat wouldn't be actually effective.

    He is actually Dracula's monster

    Nah, it's actual ass dracula. It's just we started calling higher vampires draculas and then actual ass dracula showed up and we weren't going to stop calling draculas dracula, so now he's Actual Ass Dracula. He's a real shit too. Luckily after Christopher Lee died he went into a deep mourning ritual, so we probably won't be seeing him any time soon.

    Can you make a frankenstein out of dracula parts? Or can a dracula be mummified? How much mixing is possible here, cause I'm thinking of making a monster mash

    Typically undeath is a binary state, you can't be a vampire skeleton for example. A skeleton made from a vampire is just a skeleton with pronounced fangs. I think sewing a vampire together out of vampires parts would revive the head before you could make a proper flesh golem out of it as well. Not really worth the risk i think.

    If i knew more about how mashes were distilled i would make an alcohol joke here, but i don't. plus using ground up vampire bits for distilling something sounds like it would poisonous.

  • EnlongEnlong Registered User regular
    There are much safer ways to make a zombie in a glass, anyway.

  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Olivaw wrote: »
    Is there such a thing as a "daywalker" or dhampir or half-vampire

    If so, which half

    Not to our knowledge. it is also worth noting that most vampires can be out in sunlight, it just weakens them.
    TrippyJing wrote: »
    Are vampires actually sexy or do they just mind-control you into thinking they're sexy?

    Many young vampires look the same they did in life, while more advanced vampires lose most of their body fat, body hair, and get highly developed muscles, so I imagine many can be actually "sexy"
    How exactly do you become a Dracula, I feel like a lot of the information I have on the topic contradicts itself

    To become a true dracula requires ritual, the exact ritual varies by area and culture, but always includes a large blood sacrifice. Vampires created by from the corpses of fallen victims of vampires are typically lesser vampires, which are moderately intelligent, usually subservient to the vampire that created them, or just go feral if left alone. Survivors of a dracula attack do not become vampires, but instead tend to go insane feeling drained of their humanity and go on to commit horrible acts. They will commonly end up as ghouls or wights.

    This is why most vampire feedings are covered up with murder because the last thing a dracula wants is attention.

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