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How To Kill A Dracula, and Other Lesser Undead

245

Posts

  • Tommy2HandsTommy2Hands what is this where am i Registered User regular
    Is there any evidence of alien Draculas?

    Yours Truly,
    Not a Martian

    Cdcniho.jpg
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Is there any evidence of alien Draculas?

    Yours Truly,
    Not a Martian

    I once fought a vampire elf, so technically yes.

    Tommy2Hands
  • cB557cB557 voOOP Registered User regular
    TrippyJing wrote: »
    Are vampires actually sexy or do they just mind-control you into thinking they're sexy?

    [im g]https://us.v-cdn.net/5018289/uploads/editor/vz/1feu0g85zowa.png[/img]

    [im g]https://us.v-cdn.net/5018289/uploads/editor/8f/d2yvj9u1huqw.png[/img]
    unsexy, got it

    ikzpt6vtahzi.png
  • HeadCreepsHeadCreeps BURN IN THE INSTAFIRE! LIKES ARE WHAT I DESIRE!Registered User regular
    TrippyJing wrote: »
    Are vampires actually sexy or do they just mind-control you into thinking they're sexy?

    Like supernatural negging?

    gLA6gMw.png?1
  • see317see317 Registered User regular
    Are the undead, as we're discussing here, limited to humans/humanoids? Or are there undead examples of other things that go bump in the night?
    Zombie hydras?
    Draconic Draculas?

    Ringo wrote: »
    Well except what see317 said. That guy's always wrong.
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    see317 wrote: »
    Are the undead, as we're discussing here, limited to humans/humanoids? Or are there undead examples of other things that go bump in the night?
    Zombie hydras?
    Draconic Draculas?

    Anything alive can become undead in some manner or another, however, humanoid tend to be the preferred due to ease of access, and most supernatural creatures get worse when undead. like a zombie hydra is just a big multiheaded rotting lizard, big whoop.

  • RandomEncounterRandomEncounter Registered User regular
    Is there any evidence of alien Draculas?

    Yours Truly,
    Not a Martian

    12278_b7b420a10d57ca3689faf2f3a55f8368.jpg

    Tommy2HandsDark Raven XJoolandersarukunchrishallett8338thDoe
  • PlatyPlaty anything but regular Registered User regular
    I just remembered that there was indeed a homosexual vampire in Dance of the Vampires ("The Fearless Vampire Killers" in the US)

    Incidentally also, in my opinion, the best vampire film ever made

    (Not trying to insinuate that Draculas are fictional)

  • PinfeldorfPinfeldorf Realtor Santa ClaritaRegistered User regular
    Is there any evidence of alien Draculas?

    Yours Truly,
    Not a Martian

    12278_b7b420a10d57ca3689faf2f3a55f8368.jpg

    That's a regular dracula that got into space. Technically we are from space!

  • RandomEncounterRandomEncounter Registered User regular
    Every dracula is beautiful and made of star stuff

    tynicRorshach Kringle
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Corporeal Undead

    Corporeal undead are typically thought to be the easiest of the undead to deal with, but this does not universally true. Many stronger types can simply put themselves back together, while others require special means from them not re-appearing at a later time, making them just as hard to remove as any incorporeal undead.

    When facing most Corporeal undead several weapons are very effective as a general rule, such as fire, as dried out corpses tend to burn fairly well, axes are also good as the chopping side useful for most fleshy undead while the flat end can be used as a hammer for breaking apart bony undead. Magic is of course useful, if available, as is a strong belief in a deity as many subconsciously can focus magic through that.

    Corporeal/Intelligent Examples: Vampires, Revenants, Mummies, Death knights, Liches, Zombielords.

    These types of undead are most notable for their ability to reason and problem solve, even if they are not quite human in mind anymore, some can even be bribed if craft enough. Also notably among most of these are extreme durability, as all except the death knight requiring specific methods to destroy entirely. This makes them very tricky to deal with more so because they’re aware of it and will often attempt to disguise their status as such to dissuade people from enacting those rituals to destroy them so they are merely set back, not outright destroyed.

    Corporeal/Mindless Examples: Zombie, Ghoul, Skeleton, boneclaws, crawling skins, flameskull, wrackspawn, undying.

    Now, to say these undead are the easiest to dispatch might be true in comparison to most, as simply rendering their bodies functionless stops them forever. However, most of these are fairly easy to make for experienced necromancers are therefore present in numbers unseen in intelligent corporeal undead. Most of these creatures are about as smart as vermin, simply following tasks given and possess no real supernatural power beyond existence. As such they tend to act as fodder and distractions, but their threat should not be discounted, even a single zombie can kill an unsuspecting human.

    Corporeal/Reenactors are rare enough that we don’t have any examples on tap. Most Reenactors are spectral, meaning that the physical being with these instances are just as important to the puzzle as who they are. Many aren’t even noticed to be undead and are simply thought to be stuck in a rut by people who witness them, it’s not until the start decaying noticeably that people suspect anything. Dealing with these is a very case by case instance, if you see a Corporeal Reenactor please contact a professional, do not engage as their actions when interrupted can be erratic.

    PlatySlacker71cB557never die
  • FearghaillFearghaill If there is nothing but what we make in this world let us make goodRegistered User regular
    Dr. Melding,

    What if I got a syringe and injected liquid dogshit into Dracula's veins?

    Metzger MeistercB557
  • OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    Is there any evidence of alien Draculas?

    Yours Truly,
    Not a Martian

    12278_b7b420a10d57ca3689faf2f3a55f8368.jpg

    I have that book somewhere in this very room

    cdci44qazyo3.gif

    RandomEncounterFroThulhu38thDoeFishman
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Fearghaill wrote: »
    Dr. Melding,

    What if I got a syringe and injected liquid dogshit into Dracula's veins?

    He's probably snap your neck, and would be right to do so.

    Tommy2HandsDerrick
  • manwiththemachinegunmanwiththemachinegun METAL GEAR?! Registered User regular
    Vampires without stupid weaknesses aren't vampires in my view.

    Bring on failure to cross running water, garlic, crossroads, etc.

    See those stupid sparkly fashion models get around THAT.

  • FakefauxFakefaux Cóiste Bodhar Driving John McCain to meet some Iraqis who'd very much like to make his acquaintanceRegistered User regular
    Dr. Melding,

    Lately I have been hearing the echoing wails of babies near my house at night, and am convinced I have seen infantile corpses scuttling through the underbrush. However, my cattle are also sick. How do I tell if this is an infestation of mylings or an infestation of ustrels? Please advise, I think they're building a nest in the attic.

    Sincerely,
    Babysieged in Iowa

  • SyngyneSyngyne Registered User regular
    Would a proton pack work on a vampire? Could you successfully trap and incarcerate one in a containment grid?

    5gsowHm.png
  • cj iwakuracj iwakura The Rhythm Regent Chantry of NightmaresRegistered User regular
    TrippyJing wrote: »
    Are vampires actually sexy or do they just mind-control you into thinking they're sexy?

    1feu0g85zowa.png

    d2yvj9u1huqw.png

    This would be the latter, because Malkav already has you dancing around his little finger.

    vWGemDJ.png
    Grunt's Ghosts
  • cj iwakuracj iwakura The Rhythm Regent Chantry of NightmaresRegistered User regular
    Vampires without stupid weaknesses aren't vampires in my view.

    Bring on failure to cross running water, garlic, crossroads, etc.

    See those stupid sparkly fashion models get around THAT.

    maxresdefault.jpg

    vWGemDJ.png
    HeadCreeps
  • Crimson KingCrimson King Registered User regular
    thread title is criminally negligent. nobody can kill dracula

  • -Tal-Tal Registered User regular
    what happens if a dracula bites jesus

    2vue7ao.png
  • FroThulhuFroThulhu Registered User regular
    -Tal wrote: »
    what happens if a dracula bites jesus

    He probably gets elbow dropped shortly thereafter

    Nova_C wrote: »
    "I'm arresting you for failing to check yourself. You have the right to wreck yourself."
  • timspork's ghosttimspork's ghost Master Librarian and Ghostbuster Registered User regular
    I tend to shoot them with positron beams and let Spengler sort 'em out.

    (Switch Friend Code) SW-4910-9735-6014(PSN) timspork (Steam) timspork


    TankHammer
  • FroThulhuFroThulhu Registered User regular
    edited August 2016
    Yeah, honestly, I feel like a proton pack would just start annihilating matter like it usually does. Basically, it would work as a really fancy flamethrower. Which is, y'know... just fine.

    FroThulhu on
    Nova_C wrote: »
    "I'm arresting you for failing to check yourself. You have the right to wreck yourself."
    Matev
  • Dex DynamoDex Dynamo Registered User regular
    we all know the one true vampire killing weapon is the power of friendship

  • knitdanknitdan Oh no Too much hornyRegistered User regular
    What if you put a WELCOME DRACULA mat outside your door but then just inside you've got a floor rug covering up a pit filled with garlic-smeared punji sticks?

    “I was quick when I came in here, I’m twice as quick now”
    -Indiana Solo, runner of blades
    Darth Waiter
  • RandomEncounterRandomEncounter Registered User regular
    Dex Dynamo wrote: »
    we all know the one true vampire killing weapon is the power of friendship

    As evidenced by the movie How to Train Your Dracula

  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Fakefaux wrote: »
    Dr. Melding,

    Lately I have been hearing the echoing wails of babies near my house at night, and am convinced I have seen infantile corpses scuttling through the underbrush. However, my cattle are also sick. How do I tell if this is an infestation of mylings or an infestation of ustrels? Please advise, I think they're building a nest in the attic.

    Sincerely,
    Babysieged in Iowa

    First things first, how are you seeing dead babies crawling around and have not called anyone? If i thought i saw a baby crawling around my bushes i would have called all the cops. Shit's freaky.

    The dead cattle does suggest an Ustrel, however it could be related. Investigating your attic during the day might be a good idea, setting fire to any nests found, as if this is a new Ustrel it will be too weak to survive the fire and the day light. If it is mature enough they still don't tend to eat humans so it might be forced to flee. a Myling would be an odd find as they tend to only want to be properly buried, attacking cows for nurishment is slightly out of character, all the same though you shouldn't approach on your own.

    Honestly there's a lot of child spirit folklore to go on, without some fact finding it's hard to narrow it down to something specific. So your best bet is to find a wolf you can trust, go up into your attic, set fire to any found nests and let the wolf do the business. If there is more than one, set the house on fire, it belongs to them now.

    Or, maybe your neighbour is a necromancer and is has lost their mind creating a perfect family of undead children and is also a bad parent. These things happens, shockingly often. Which is why we're trying to get things apst to make practising necromancers to register.

    Hope this helps,

    D. Melding, Babypuncher.
    Syngyne wrote: »
    Would a proton pack work on a vampire? Could you successfully trap and incarcerate one in a containment grid?

    If i remember correctly, when facing vampires the ghost busters made some kind of ghost shooting cannon to fend them off, but that might not be canon. Allt he same it would have some effect, as it is effectively an erratic laser, if it has any special effects i'm going with no.
    thread title is criminally negligent. nobody can kill dracula

    You can't really kill Dracula, but you can kill A Dracula. Plus dealing with Actual Ass Dracula requires a great deal of clearance that even I wouldn't be called in and I was at one point considered an expert on undead.

  • SyngyneSyngyne Registered User regular
    Melding wrote: »
    Syngyne wrote: »
    Would a proton pack work on a vampire? Could you successfully trap and incarcerate one in a containment grid?

    If i remember correctly, when facing vampires the ghost busters made some kind of ghost shooting cannon to fend them off, but that might not be canon. Allt he same it would have some effect, as it is effectively an erratic laser, if it has any special effects i'm going with no.

    I guess it's just as well, a Ghostbuster and a Dracula shouldn't really be fighting anyway. They have some common ground.
    neither can cross streams

    5gsowHm.png
    Tommy2HandszekebeauSlacker71TankHammersarukunchrishallett83OlivawDracomicronDerrickstopgap38thDoe
  • cj iwakuracj iwakura The Rhythm Regent Chantry of NightmaresRegistered User regular
    Dr. Melding,

    How do you contend with vampires that have established a political pecking order and maintain a vice grip on society from the shadows?

    Sincerely,

    Sabbat en Espana

    vWGemDJ.png
    Dracomicron
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    cj iwakura wrote: »
    Dr. Melding,

    How do you contend with vampires that have established a political pecking order and maintain a vice grip on society from the shadows?

    Sincerely,

    Sabbat en Espana

    Well, typically we operate by Bull in A China shop logic and smash everything, and hope that things end up being okay, after all we're just here to clean up vampires not deal with the social political situation of vampires. In this regard we tend to murder our way up through the ranks until we have an opening at the head vampire and with a carefully constructed team take them down. Luckily head vampires themselves don't have much of a public presence as people would notice if they stopped aging after 50 years, and it's too much work to constantly pretend to be y our own son so if they go missing no one really questions it outside of their set up organization.

    Now, ones with actual political pull are a bit harder to get at, and we have a few we have been tracking looking for openings but as of yet they remain out of reach without exposing ourselves as well. However, few people actually want to be controlled by vampires, and are more likely to evoke demonic and fey beings for help when a vampire is attempting to edge in, which has stopped vampires for gaining too much power in the modern world. There was a single case where someone managed to forge a pact with angels, which is kind of amazing in its own right. that worked out, about as well as any other but it drove the vampires out of the nation from what we can report. Details are of course top secret, but if you look around at what nation doesn't have vampires in it and you think should, well, it becomes clear.

    But yeah, we're less concerned about vampires than we are demonic and dragon cults. Actual dangerous things. In comparison vampires are kids trying to sit at the adult table.

    Hope this helped,

    D. Melding, Still not a doctor but if anyone has an extra honorary doctorate laying around..

    cB557Tommy2Handscj iwakura
  • MatevMatev Cero Miedo Registered User regular
    Dear Dr. Melding,

    How can you tell if your city is infested with Draculas? As a follow up, what is the difference between a Dracula infestation versus an Actual Ass Dracula infestation?

    Best wishes,

    Sleeveless in Seattle

    "Go down, kick ass, and set yourselves up as gods, that's our Prime Directive!"
    Hail Hydra
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Matev wrote: »
    Dear Dr. Melding,

    How can you tell if your city is infested with Draculas? As a follow up, what is the difference between a Dracula infestation versus an Actual Ass Dracula infestation?

    Best wishes,

    Sleeveless in Seattle

    Dear Sleeveless,

    In reverse order, you can't have an Actual Ass Dracula infestation, there is only one Actual Ass Dracula, however the vampires created when he feeds are Draculas, they themselves are not Actual Ass Dracula.

    As far ad detecting if your city is being overrun by vampires, it is harder to tell because they're fairly clever. Strange murders are a tip off, reports of a serial killer operating in multiple locations can be a tip off, or just the finding of a lot of blood drained murder victims. Also how lively a city's night life is. Vampires tend to settle in cities that are very active at night as it gives more opportunities for feeding and general activities. IF there are a lot of places that stay open after last call, there could be a growing vampire population as whiel they can eat they don't drink alcohol. 24 hour diners are also a hot bed for vampires.

    As a general rule a city like Seattle has probably at most 20 Draculas operating there in some manner, any more than that and they would call too much attention to themselves.

    Hope this helps,

    D. Melding, Sleeved in Vancouver.

    MatevRMS OceanicPlaty
  • cj iwakuracj iwakura The Rhythm Regent Chantry of NightmaresRegistered User regular
    It's fairly common knowledge amongst the Camarilla that messing with Seattle is a surefire way to get a Megacorp on your tail, and not even the Ventrue want anything to do with that.

    vWGemDJ.png
    Matev
  • MatevMatev Cero Miedo Registered User regular
    Perhaps a brief clarifier to the earlier missive. Is there a substantial difference between Actual Ass Dracula coming to town versus the local Draculas dicking around?

    "Go down, kick ass, and set yourselves up as gods, that's our Prime Directive!"
    Hail Hydra
  • Tommy2HandsTommy2Hands what is this where am i Registered User regular
    Do Draculas feel pain? What kind of conditions could a Dracula survive in?

    Yours Truly,

    Not a Martian

    Cdcniho.jpg
  • MatevMatev Cero Miedo Registered User regular
    cj iwakura wrote: »
    It's fairly common knowledge amongst the Camarilla that messing with Seattle is a surefire way to get a Megacorp on your tail, and not even the Ventrue want anything to do with that.

    Tell that to the local Cam, buncha neon-color drek-suckin bottom feeders. MHVV rights, my can.

    "Go down, kick ass, and set yourselves up as gods, that's our Prime Directive!"
    Hail Hydra
  • MrMonroeMrMonroe Registered User regular
    Just play as a Cleric

  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Do Draculas feel pain? What kind of conditions could a Dracula survive in?

    Yours Truly,

    Not a Martian

    Dear Earthling,

    As noted before many Draculas are algophobic. So It is fair to say they feel pain. As for what they can survive in, I cant' say we've really tested. I think they would freeze int he vaccuum of space but they'd probably be able to revive form that. They're able to revive from most things save complete immolation.

    Hope this helps your non space based plans,

    D. Melding, Completely Human.
    Matev wrote: »
    Perhaps a brief clarifier to the earlier missive. Is there a substantial difference between Actual Ass Dracula coming to town versus the local Draculas dicking around?

    Well, i wouldn't expect Dracula operating out of your area any time soon. when Bela Lugosi died he was MIA for nearly a decade, So i would expect at least another 3 years before he recovers from Christopher Lee. Dude takes it real hard when actors who play him die.

    Tommy2Hands
  • ElderlycrawfishElderlycrawfish Registered User regular
    Melding wrote: »
    Fearghaill wrote: »
    Dr. Melding,

    What if I got a syringe and injected liquid dogshit into Dracula's veins?

    He's probably snap your neck, and would be right to do so.

    What if the liquid dogshit was made out of poison?

    PSN/Steam - Elderlycrawfish
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