As was foretold, we've added advertisements to the forums! If you have questions, or if you encounter any bugs, please visit this thread: https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/240191/forum-advertisement-faq-and-reports-thread/

Revenge of the Strange & Embarrassing Moments

1404143454662

Posts

  • S0upS0up Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Two different stories (All of my contributions to this thread seem to involve sex...)

    1.
    So my girlfriend and I were at one point in our long term relationship where we decided to test the sexual waters. One Friday afternoon around 9 PM or so my girlfriend and I decide to do the dirty in my room.

    One thing leads to another and we're going at it. I decide to push the experience ahead a bit and start going at it from the back, grab my belt on the floor, and use that as a leash, if you will. Not trying to get into to many other details we do a couple more things that can easily be border line S&M. So after an intense fuck session I peak over at the door and see that the god damn door was open about 5 inches. Confused I realized my window was open, and I didn't lock my door (And it has a weak 'click' and can easily be pushed open when closed). Mortified, I get dressed, walk out of my room and see my room mate has invited 3 of my close friends over, who are all sitting on a small couch that can barely contain them all, facing the opposite direction of my door. I turn around and realize you can see from any position in the living room a clear shot of the inside of my room.

    It was never spoken of. But there has been a couple comments passed here and there how much of a "freak" I am.

    2.
    One night at my house as Irish Car Bomb night (Poor a Guinness into a glass, fill a shotglass with 1/2 Jameson Whiskey, 1/2 Baileys Irish Cream ,mix, and chug) and I grabbed my video camera for this occasion. After all the fun a friend and I rewatched the video and it we had some good clips.

    Couple weeks later my room mate has the same friend over, and a couple other folks over my house for a good night of drinking. Instead, I take out my girlfriend to eat. An hour later we both come back to my apartment and I see everyone sitting around my TV with my friend, drunkenly waving the video camera in the air telling me "How do I get this god damn thing to play on your TV?". Panic sets in. I grab my video camera, tell him I don't "Have the cable anymore" run into my room and check the tape that was in the video camera.

    All I'll say is that it wasn't Irish Car Bombs. Luckily for me though, all he had to do was edit 1 setting on the video camera and everyone in the room would've bared witness to my "Little Slayer" in action. Including my girlfriend's cousin.

    S0up on
  • Look Out it's Sabs!Look Out it's Sabs! Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    TeeMan wrote: »
    I remember a story pretty much exactly like that in my highschool days but replaced the setting from school to partaey :lol: She ended up getting a whole bunch of em out. Not embarrassing, and definitely more awesome than strange, but worthy of a mention no less.

    My school had a vibrator incident too, which was basically someone let one run loose in the halls.

    Somehow it ended up in the main foyer.

    Look Out it's Sabs! on
    NNID: Sabuiy
    3DS: 2852-6809-9411
  • GrinninBarrettGrinninBarrett Registered User
    edited November 2007
    Saburbia wrote: »
    TeeMan wrote: »
    I remember a story pretty much exactly like that in my highschool days but replaced the setting from school to partaey :lol: She ended up getting a whole bunch of em out. Not embarrassing, and definitely more awesome than strange, but worthy of a mention no less.

    My school had a vibrator incident too, which was basically someone let one run loose in the halls.

    Somehow it ended up in the main foyer.

    I'm imagining a vibrator rolling and buzzing its way down hallways of a high school, curious heads poking out doors, and the truant officer/hall monitor trying to chase it down.

    I can't stop laughing.

    GrinninBarrett on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • UndefinedMonkeyUndefinedMonkey Registered User
    edited November 2007
    I'm imagining a vibrator rolling and buzzing its way down hallways of a high school, curious heads poking out doors, and the truant officer/hall monitor trying to chase it down.

    I can't stop laughing.

    Heh, and I'm imagining a happy, brightly-colored storybook called Buzzy's Big Adventure.

    UndefinedMonkey on
    This space intentionally left blank.
  • Blake TBlake T Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    One of the more singularly bizare nights happened in holiday in Phuket (thailand) last year.

    It was bassically a big boys trip. Plenty of alcohol, plenty of soon, plenty of lazing by the pool.

    Anyway, after one night (this was a particularly boozey night) I woke up in my hotel the next morning in my shorts.

    Nothing to wrong with that right? I mean I made it back to my hotel room wearing clothes.

    The only problem was that I was wearing underwear that night.

    It had completely dissapeared. To this day no one knows what happened to my underwear or where it could of ended up. It involved a few interesting conversations over the breakfast table regardless.

    Blake T on
  • RichyRichy Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    I'm imagining a vibrator rolling and buzzing its way down hallways of a high school, curious heads poking out doors, and the truant officer/hall monitor trying to chase it down.

    I can't stop laughing.

    Heh, and I'm imagining a happy, brightly-colored storybook called Buzzy's Big Adventure.
    And now I can't stop laughing.

    Richy on
    sig.gif
  • jotatejotate Registered User
    edited November 2007
    Man, this thread is even more hilarious after a couple glasses of wine.

    Here's a story I decided to act out / tell via Youtube a few months back in response to a similar story that someone posted. It was strange, but not really embarrassing. Until, of course, tomorrow when I wake up sober and realize I posted a video of myself on the D&D forums. Enjoy:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EBI_AfT-qGU

    jotate on
  • Charles KinboteCharles Kinbote Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    awesome.

    jotate you are a rad dude.

    Charles Kinbote on
  • Look Out it's Sabs!Look Out it's Sabs! Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    The mom was kinda hot.

    Look Out it's Sabs! on
    NNID: Sabuiy
    3DS: 2852-6809-9411
  • Salvation122Salvation122 Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Similar to Jotate's tale.

    So a couple years ago, back when I was in band and not yet of legal drinking age, the full band trip was to Memphis. Now, I'm from the suburbs of Memphis, and so was my best friend at the time, TJ. So we know downtown passingly well but we're not quite familiar with it, because there's fuck-all to do in downtown Memphis if you're not twenty-one, and until very recently being in downtown Memphis after dark was an extraordinarily good way to get mugged. Still is, if you walk a block in the wrong direction.

    So anyway there was this little convenience store nearby that didn't card, and we got a case of beer and split it between about six people or so. Couple hours later, around 10, we run out of beer and realize we could use some more, so we go back. Place is closed, but a guy walking nearby notices us standing outside and looking pissed, and tells us he can walk us over to another convenience store a couple blocks away - his ride's meeting him there to take him home. It should have been immediately obvious that this was not a good idea, but we were slightly intoxicated.

    Now, this guy didn't look homeless. He was dressed in clean clothes, well-spoken, etc. So we agree, and we walk a couple blocks over to this gas station, which is directly across the street from the Memphis municipal prison, which should have been our second clue that this was not a good idea, but, again, drunk.

    So we walk in to get the beer, and there's a cop grilling someone right inside the door. TJ's like three days away from being twenty-one and really doesn't want to get busted for flashing a fake ID three feet away from the cop. So we go back outside and explain the situation to our escort, who tells us he'll gladly buy us a case if we give him a couple extra so he can get a 40 for the ride home. We agree, and give him the cash. He then suggests that we wait around the corner, so that the cops don't see the handoff, which seems sensible; he even gives us his bag so we have some assurance that we're not just being jacked. So we walk around the corner and start shooting the shit with some other homeless dudes, letting 'em bum smokes, talking music and stuff, and it was actually kind of cool.

    Eventually we realize it's been like fifteen minutes. We walk back in to the gas station and dude's nowhere to be found. We ask the dude at the register if he's seen our escort, and the guy's like "Short guy, blue sweater? Dude took off runnin' like fifteen minutes ago!"

    So we take the dude's bag, 'cause it looked and felt like a real leather bag, and fuck him, right?

    So we get back to the hotel and open it up. Inside, we find:
    • A week-old piece of pizza.
    • Half a rotisserie chicken, partially eaten, in tupperware.
    • Three or four dirty blankets smelling keenly of excrement.
    • Half a loaf of rotten bread. And I don't mean like "hey that's a little fuzzy," I mean like a quarter-pound of black decomposing lumps that may once have been some sort of baked goods back around the time the planets coalesced from miscellaneous space-crap.
    • An unopened packages of Reese's peanut butter cups.
    The thing smelled so rank that we had to leave it out in the hall.

    Eventually more beer was procured, but it was a long, amusing, and probably dangerous night.

    Salvation122 on
  • deowolfdeowolf Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Did you eat the peanut butter cups?

    deowolf on
    [SIGPIC]acocoSig.jpg[/SIGPIC]
  • ArikadoArikado Southern CaliforniaRegistered User regular
    edited November 2007
    deowolf wrote: »
    Did you eat the peanut butter cups?

    I hope you didn't waste them.

    Arikado on
    BNet: Arikado#1153 | Steam | LoL: Anzen
  • VeeveeVeevee WisconsinRegistered User regular
    edited November 2007
    deowolf wrote: »
    Did you eat the peanut butter cups?

    That was my first thought.

    Seriously, did you eat them?

    Veevee on
  • Salvation122Salvation122 Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Arikado wrote: »
    deowolf wrote: »
    Did you eat the peanut butter cups?

    I hope you didn't waste them.

    We actually rifled through it at the gas station without realizing how utterly filthy it was and gave the peanut butter cups to one of the homeless dudes.

    Salvation122 on
  • Butterfly4uButterfly4u Registered User
    edited November 2007
    jotate wrote: »
    Man, this thread is even more hilarious after a couple glasses of wine.

    Here's a story I decided to act out / tell via Youtube a few months back in response to a similar story that someone posted. It was strange, but not really embarrassing. Until, of course, tomorrow when I wake up sober and realize I posted a video of myself on the D&D forums. Enjoy:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EBI_AfT-qGU

    When I was little I lived in a small town in IL. My Mom took my sister and me to Chicago to see a musical. We passed a homeless man who asked for money. My Mom rushed us along saying we didn't have any money. When I got back home I told all of my friends I saw a homeless man and they were all like COOOL!
    So I can relate to your friend.

    Butterfly4u on
    Butterfly
  • Double DeuceDouble Deuce Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Jotate, that video was hilarious.

    Double Deuce on
  • jotatejotate Registered User
    edited November 2007
    Heh, glad you all enjoyed that. I did all that between midnight and 8AM one night this summer. Filmed and edited it with the help of, seriously, 18 cans of Diet Mountain Dew. I woke up at 10:30am too dizzy to walk, periodic stabbing pains in my stomach, and a temperature of 102.5. Apparently, I'm hilarious on the precipice of death.

    jotate on
  • deowolfdeowolf Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Arikado wrote: »
    deowolf wrote: »
    Did you eat the peanut butter cups?

    I hope you didn't waste them.

    We actually rifled through it at the gas station without realizing how utterly filthy it was and gave the peanut butter cups to one of the homeless dudes.

    That is acceptable.

    Also, today's Achewood has a good explanation for why that girl might have had a vibe in her purse.

    deowolf on
    [SIGPIC]acocoSig.jpg[/SIGPIC]
  • OctoparrotOctoparrot Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Mr. Applewhite is your location two pierced nipples?

    Octoparrot on
  • Toxic ToysToxic Toys Are you really taking my advice? Really?Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    I got a strange little story to tell.

    About 10 years ago, I worked at a Circle K (it's a west coast 7-11). I use to work the graveyard shift. You see some crazy stuff late at night, but this still stays with me.

    I was at the register read a mag. All of a sudden I heard some one say, "I need to use the bathroom." I was all by myself so I put down the mag and look around. Nothing, no one there.

    Then I hear, "Man, I really gotta piss!" I then look down and see a midget in front of the counter. This is the first little person I've ever seen before. I just kind of look at him and then he grabs his crotch and starts hopping around. He was doing the pee-pee dance. He looked at me again and said, "Fuck man, can I use your bathroom."

    I had to tell him no because we didn't have a public bathroom. He's still dancing around and he asks me if he can piss on our dumpester. I told him sure, go for it. He bolts out the door. Thats when I notice that some people had walked in and were laughing their ass off.

    They explained to me that he was with them and it was all good. A few minutes the midget came back in. He thanked me and bought a beer.

    That's not the last encounter I had with a little person that was odd, but it tends to stick out.

    Toxic Toys on
    3DS code: 2938-6074-2306, Nintendo Network ID: ToxicToys, PSN: zutto
  • Casual EddyCasual Eddy The Astral PlaneRegistered User regular
    edited November 2007
    happy 69th page, strange and embarrassing moments thread!

    Casual Eddy on
  • DukiDuki Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    I like how you attempt to use little person to be PC but still have a few midgets here and there in your post.

    Duki on
  • deowolfdeowolf Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Octoparrot wrote: »
    Mr. Applewhite is your location two pierced nipples?

    Negative. It's a text approximation of the multiple alien nipples found on the boobies in Mass Effect.

    It, uh, it made sense in the ME thread...

    deowolf on
    [SIGPIC]acocoSig.jpg[/SIGPIC]
  • Toxic ToysToxic Toys Are you really taking my advice? Really?Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Duki wrote: »
    I like how you attempt to use little person to be PC but still have a few midgets here and there in your post.

    I'm a little mad at myself for that. I forgot the term dwarf.

    Toxic Toys on
    3DS code: 2938-6074-2306, Nintendo Network ID: ToxicToys, PSN: zutto
  • ArikadoArikado Southern CaliforniaRegistered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Vertically challenged people.

    Arikado on
    BNet: Arikado#1153 | Steam | LoL: Anzen
  • FalxFalx Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    Gnomes.

    Falx on
  • brandotheninjamasterbrandotheninjamaster Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    happy 69th page, strange and embarrassing moments thread!

    :winky:

    brandotheninjamaster on
  • MikeRyuMikeRyu Registered User regular
    edited November 2007
    happy 69th page, strange and embarrassing moments thread!

    :winky:

    69 dude!

    MikeRyu on
    Ranmasig5.png
  • GlyphGlyph Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    The other night, I'm in bed with this girl named Jane who's in one of my poli-sci classes. She's attractive like your typical nerdy chick but also kind of clueless when it comes to political discussions, even though she means well... but that's beside the point. She's sleeping next to me (presumably we're an item) when I suddenly wake up to find her doggy-styling with her ex boyfriend. As they're doing this, he's calling her his conquest and she loves it (the way my ex would). Anyway, as soon as he's off her, I throw her off my bed and ask her if she'd still be with me even after her ex leaves the country as planned. She says she would and I decide to win her back by taking her to nearby Ritz hotel (?). Problem is, Jerry and Elaine from 'Seinfeld' decide to tag along (!).

    Now it's raining and we're still trying to find the place. But being the idiot that she is, Elaine leads us into a department store that's right beside the Ritz. She and Jerry are asking the store owner questions about the accommodations and finally I point out that we are in fact in a department store. So we go back out into the rain. When we finally find the Ritz, we walk in and everyone's wearing tuxedos, etc. and we're just glad to be out of the rain. Now we're getting settled in the lobby when Jerry comes in with the stupidest looking sunglasses. They're huge with orange frames and plastic eyelashes lining the rim. And because Jerry adamantly refuses take off, the manages kicks him out, and us too by proxy. Of course Elaine insists that she's not with him but they kick her out anyway.

    So we're back in the rain, Jerry and Elaine decide to sleep in the department store while Jane and I wait outside for the rain to clear up, which it eventually does come early morning. So we go back to my place.

    Then I woke up.

    Glyph on
  • ArgusArgus Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Glyph wrote: »
    story

    I thought it was a dream when you "woke up" with the ex having sex with her. I saw Elaine and Jerry and went "yup."

    I had a dream last night where I was being held down into the sand by two morons in such a way that I couldn't breathe because my head was shoved into the sand. I find I can't move because the two of them have pinned me so well, and when I try to muffle out a cry for help, I find there's no air in my lungs. My mind wanted to believe that wasn't real so badly that I woke up.

    Argus on
    pasigsizedu5.jpg
  • KungFuKungFu Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Speaking of gas-station clerk stories, my friend who works at a QuickTrip (midwestern chain) told me this story.

    He said a trashy, middle-aged white guy came in looking unwashed, in dirty clothes. Like a white wife-beater with a stain right in the middle of it. He comes in, goes up to the counter and starts talking to my friend. And he says:

    Dude: You look like a big boy.
    James: uh...what?

    *I will take this time to describe James as a tall, toothpick-shaped guy.

    Dude: Yeah. You a big boy. You know how I can tell you a big boy?
    James: Uh...how?
    Dude: Because you can pick up a big dog. And you hold it up in yer arms like this (guy makes hand gestures of holding a dog). And you suck its dick. That - is how you a big boy.
    James: D:

    Then the guy turns around and leaves without ever buying anything.

    KungFu on
    Theft 4 Bread
  • Evil MultifariousEvil Multifarious Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Wow.

    Wow.

    Evil Multifarious on
  • Triple BTriple B Bastard of the North MARegistered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Midget stories. Yes.

    Back in my college days, I was a commuter, so I always parked in this (extremely) remote parking lot down the road. One day when I'm done with class and heading home, I am accosted by a rather short fellow just as I get to my truck. Apparently he's angry at the guy who drives the shuttle back and forth between the parking lots and the main campus, because he's driven by three or four times without stopping to pick up our vertically impaired friend here. The conversation went something like this:

    Angry Midget: "The next time that that motherfucker passes me by I'm filing a complaint and getting him fired!"

    Me: "Uh, okay."

    Angry Midget: "If I was a fucking woman and had a pair of tits, he'd have stopped by now. Would you mind giving me a ride up to campus? As close as you can get me to May Hall?"

    Me: "Um. Sure, I guess."

    AM: "Thank you."

    (miraculously he was actually able to get up into my truck without any assistance)

    Me: "Well, here we are. Have a good one, buddy."

    AM: "Thank you very much."

    That stands out as the weirdest shit that ever happened to me while I was in college. I felt bad for being mildly amused by the plight of the short man. But I mean, fuck. It was funny.

    Triple B on
    Steam/XBL/PSN: FiveAgainst1
  • IShallRiseAgainIShallRiseAgain Registered User
    edited December 2007
    So, I'm a member of the high school robotic's club(Yeah, I'm a nerd) and there was this one kid who was a complete jackass to everyone. Anyways, he was also an incompetent moron, so he was delegated an incredibly simple task that would keep him out of everyone's way, building a crate. He fails even to accomplish this simple endeavor. First off, the crate was way way over budget by about $500, and it wasn't even made out of the right materials. The funniest thing however, was that said crate couldn't even fit through the doors, which led to the kid loudly yelling out "Dammnit" when he realized all his incompetent work was for naught.

    He also almost missed a flight home from Georgia for the Robotic nationals, because he was looking at porn in the airport store. A teacher had to go get him.

    Also, when the robotics team arrived in Georgia, there was a typed sign saying "Welcome Robertics People".

    IShallRiseAgain on
    Alador239.png
  • Rabid_LlamaRabid_Llama Registered User
    edited December 2007
    So, I'm a member of the high school robotic's club(Yeah, I'm a nerd) and there was this one kid who was a complete jackass to everyone. Anyways, he was also an incompetent moron, so he was delegated an incredibly simple task that would keep him out of everyone's way, building a crate. He fails even to accomplish this simple endeavor. First off, the crate was way way over budget by about $500, and it wasn't even made out of the right materials. The funniest thing however, was that said crate couldn't even fit through the doors, which led to the kid loudly yelling out "Dammnit" when he realized all his incompetent work was for naught.

    He also almost missed a flight home from Georgia for the Robotic nationals, because he was looking at porn in the airport store. A teacher had to go get him.

    Also, when the robotics team arrived in Georgia, there was a typed sign saying "Welcome Robertics People".

    Was this for FIRST?

    Rabid_Llama on
    /sig
    The+Rabid+Llama.png
  • lunasealunasea Registered User
    edited December 2007
    Oh boy, I have a story about robotics. A few years ago, our robotics team went to Boston for some tournament for FIRST. Two friends and myself, being the dumb asses we are, decided to bring about an eighth of bud with us. When we finally got settled and accommodated in Boston, we discovered that we had nothing to smoke with. So, we took to the bible and rolled a joint out of the paper in the index. I have this little balcony in my room, so we all go onto it to smoke but neglect to close the screen door between my room and the outside. By the time we're done and heading to my friends room the whole floor reeks of weed and the other kids are starting to give us sketchy looks. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, all these security guards came rushing onto our floor and towards us. At this point we all FREAK out and try to hide ourselves behind/in anything we could. At the last second, the guards turn a corner and start pounding on this other door. Turns out, a chaperon had called in a complaint about the smell and the hotel had just assumed it was the group of ghetto hoodrats that were responsible for it. We spent the rest of the night eating Wendy's and playing Halo.

    lunasea on
  • IShallRiseAgainIShallRiseAgain Registered User
    edited December 2007
    So, I'm a member of the high school robotic's club(Yeah, I'm a nerd) and there was this one kid who was a complete jackass to everyone. Anyways, he was also an incompetent moron, so he was delegated an incredibly simple task that would keep him out of everyone's way, building a crate. He fails even to accomplish this simple endeavor. First off, the crate was way way over budget by about $500, and it wasn't even made out of the right materials. The funniest thing however, was that said crate couldn't even fit through the doors, which led to the kid loudly yelling out "Dammnit" when he realized all his incompetent work was for naught.

    He also almost missed a flight home from Georgia for the Robotic nationals, because he was looking at porn in the airport store. A teacher had to go get him.

    Also, when the robotics team arrived in Georgia, there was a typed sign saying "Welcome Robertics People".

    Was this for FIRST?

    Indeed it was.

    IShallRiseAgain on
    Alador239.png
  • KungFuKungFu Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    About a year ago when I still lived in the dorms, had some friends over. We just got done watching a movie and we're going to each others rooms (it was a 4 bedroom apartment style dorm) to hang out. As I walk past the living room to the kitchen for a drink I see a security guard and two RA's looking through my slightly open doorway.

    I exclaim "There is a security guard in our doorway. Why is that?" Im somewhat worried and curious and I know I have nothing to be afraid of, but nonetheless I know he's out looking for something. So I go to the doorway ask what's up. He asks me if they can come in and look around. Without even considering it, I say no, because hey, why the fuck am I going to waive my rights to an unwarranted search so a guy can poke around and try and incriminate me in some way? So of course, this made me seem suspicious. He asks if he can speak with me and I say sure and step outside closing my door.

    He says there is a cloud of weed, and it seems to be centralized around my third-floor balcony. I tell him I know nothing about it - as I didn't. None of my friends there or myself smoke weed and I couldn't smell or see this 'cloud.' Then the guy says I have some red cheeks and I am slow at speaking. How much have I had to drink tonight? None, fuck face. I always have red cheeks. At best, theyre a very light pink. It's called Rosacea. I didn't actually get mad at him or call him a fuckface, but I was a bit offended he was now trying to pin campus drinking on me just because he can't detect a cloud of marijuana in my dorm. He then starts asking for me to just tell him who was the one smoking and I'd be cool. I tell him again, I do not know who is smoking and I do not sense this cloud either. The RA's just kind of stand behind him sheepishly. I should had mentioned at some point that one of my roommates is an RA. So I figured it probably would had been a big deal if he was suspected by the other RA's as the cloudmaker. I got tired of the guard's accusations and I finally do let him and the RA's come inside to show them there is no marijuana. They step into our living room/kitchen area and seem satisfied, though disappointed. I would had never let them in if it wasn't for my roommate's sake.

    Finally they leave, back to their quest of finding the infamous marijuana cloud. All my friends went outside to try and find the cloud too. Because that sounded awesome.

    KungFu on
    Theft 4 Bread
  • ArgusArgus Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    KungFu wrote: »
    marijuana cloud story

    Did anyone ever find the cloud? Did they pin the cloud on someone?

    Argus on
    pasigsizedu5.jpg
  • KungFuKungFu Registered User regular
    edited December 2007
    Nah, the cloud bandit puffed in peace.

    KungFu on
    Theft 4 Bread
This discussion has been closed.